11/16 Issue: Dating for the Dark Side

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Slarti
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11/16 Issue: Dating for the Dark Side

Post by Slarti »

<Jamie> Jamie drummed his fingers on his thigh and stared at the basket of bread in the middle of the table. Untouched. He glanced at the door again, then back at the basket. Don't. Bu- NO. So... hungry... going... to die... from starvati- Stop it, dumbass. He heaved a sigh and leaned back in his chair. Why did they tell him to come get a table so early if they weren't going to show up on time?

<Redd> This was probably a terrible idea, but sometimes her boss's terrible ideas turned out to also be pretty fun. So, Redd was here, looking for a table with - oh. The ex-ex!

<Redd> She waved away the greeter and went straight for the table. "Did you draw a short straw to have to come first?"

<Carol> Carol was trying not to fidget in her dress and strappy shoes that had no business calling themselves shoes. She'd had to break out the DC wardrobe for the occasion because her regular wardrobe was not suitable for nice restaurants. So now she was wearing a thing that hugged her curves and was blue and if the light hit it right also glittered a bit. 

<Carol> She had also attempted to do something with her hair which was a feat when it was mostly short. AND she was wearing make-up like an actual girl.

<Jean> Jean was of the opinion she could have made her an even girlier girl if she'd just let her. Sigh.

<Jamie> "Apparently." Jamie stood when she approached and pulled out the chair she was closest to for her. "My mom raised me not to eat until everyone had their food and I'm starving." He realized he kind of sounded whiny and cleared his throat. "I mean, hey! How are you?"

<Redd> Oh look, he had manners. Cute. Redd thanked him and sat, then laughed. "Good. How are you?" After a momentary pause, she went for it. "You know... they'll bring more if you eat it."

<Jamie> He knew that. Really he did. Must be brain fog from hunger. Jamie reached for his own piece. "Better now." Bliss. Carb-loaded bliss. "I'm doing great, thanks. You nervous? Carol's a total babe, so you'll like her looks at least."

<Carol> Carol was glittery enough. Actual glitter was banned. She was finding that shit for years after clearing it off Thomas. Even after she'd moved to DC. Craft supply herpes.

<Jean> But craft glitter /= makeup glitter! Jean gave Carol the once over. "You look nice," she allowed. "Would be even nicer with a good red lip..."

<Carol> "Nooo," Carol shook her head, "This much is fine. But thanks for the compliment, I guess?"

<Redd> "Nervous? I don't know." She went for a piece of bread too. "I've seen her on TV. But you know her?"

<Jamie> "Well, yeah. I mean, I was on the X-Men way back before they were government sactioned. Before Jean and I had our epic misunderstanding." He grinned at her around a bite of bread. "Why? You wanna know the dirt?"

<Redd> "Oh yeah, the epic misunderstanding," she laughed, taking another bite of her bread and watching him. She quirked a brow. "Do you have the dirt?"

<Jean> "You look pretty hot," she said with a smirk. "So let's go get'em, tiger!"

<Carol> "...please never say that again," she laughed and shook her head. "You're enjoying this way too much."

<Jean> "Which part? That you're hot?"

<Jamie> His grin grew, "I'm a private investigator. What do you think?" Jamie waggled his eyebrows at her.

<Carol> She laughed again, "You can say that as much as you like, it's the second part that made me want to shove you into a hedge."

<Jean> "Nooooo, this dress is vintage Gucci!! No hedges!" Jean protected her cute little green sundress from the heathen with a bubble.

<Redd> She barely stopped herself from snorting at that face he made. "Oh yeah, that's right. Are you still investigating that creeper with the pheromones?"

<Carol> "Then stop acting weird or I'm gonna channel Jess and declare you a pod person and try to light you on fire and not in the way you like," she prodded at the teke bubble in the region of Jean's ribs.

<Jamie> "That's an on-going investigation. He's not in the vicinity currently, so you don't have to worry about him swaying you to the light side." What? Bobby did it. Oh. "Soooo... You want it or not? They're on the way."

<Jean> "It's not weird! I want you to have fun! And get laid!" Jean giggled at the bubble poking and let it vanish.

<Redd> "Swaying me to the light side? Are you saying I'm on the dark side?" She cocked her head and gave him the once over.

<Carol> "Yeah but you're weirdly excited about it and it's freaking me out..." she pouted, "This is hard for me, okay? I'm way out of my comfort zone."

<Jamie> "You wouldn't call muff-diving the dark side? It's like a mini cave. Can't see shit."

<Redd> "Well then you're doing it wrong." She repeated the once-over, this time with judgment.

<Jamie> "Oh yeah? So you're telling me that you spread her lips and peer into the tunnel when you're down there? Instead of using your tongue to feel your way around?" Jamie gave her his own judgmental look. Weirdo.

<Redd> "I don't bring a speculum and a flashlight, but it's not a black hole there, sport." She snorted and took a bite of bread. "Sounds like I'm not the one fumbling the ball."

<Jamie> "It's more of a black hole than a dick is. It's all out in the open." He gave her a grin and raised his eyebrows, "We'll just ask Jean who 'fumbles' around with that one."

<Jean> Jean sighed and decided to give her a hug. "I get it. I mean, literally, since I can, like, feel you're all nervous."

<Redd> "Well, then maybe you should just stick with dicks?" She gave him a sweet smile. "Then I wouldn't have to ask her."

<Carol> Carol returned the hug with a sigh, "Maybe I shoulda just worn my uniform, huh?"

<Jamie> Jamie laughed and shook his head, "Only dick I know is my own. And the best thing about it is that Jean likes it and it likes her."

<Jean> "Why? The dress is amaaaazing. I'm just giving you shit because you didn't let me play Barbies with you." She squeezed.

<Redd> "Good to know it has personality?" She shook her head then, too.

<Jamie> Jamie flagged the waiter and ordered a beer. He was not going to do this sober anymore.

<Carol> "Because wearing my uniform is like putting on armour..." She gave Jean a small static zap with her stored energy, "I am not Air Force Barbie."

<Redd> She followed his example and ordered wine before she said anything else to get her fired.

<Jean> Jean eeped at the zap and retaliated with a swat to her ass when she backed up. "Totes are. SHIELD Action Barbie."

<Carol> She laughed, "Nah, SHIELD Action Barbie would have way more pockets... and guns."

<Jean> "Your guns are built in. Pew pew!" Jean finger gunned, but without the fun light effects. She gave Carol another assessing look. "You ready?"

<Carol> "That is true..." Carol nodded after a moment of consideration, "I do like the portability of the finger-gun and it doesn't set off the metal detectors." She resisted the urge to run a hand through her hair because hairspray, "I guess... worst that can happen is we spend all night mocking Jamie, right?"

<Jamie> The waiter came back and Jamie was more than ready. By the time Jean got here, they would likely both be on their fifth drink at this rate.

<Jean> "That's the spirit!" Jean tapped on Jamie's brain. Knock knock?

<Jamie> HOLY FUCK GET HERE NOW.

<Jean> Jean just barely stopped herself from flailing and put on a manic grin. "Okay! Let's go then!" OMG what?!

<Carol> Carol stepped into the building, automatically scanning for threats, exits, suspicious fellows, etc because some things you couldn't turn off no matter how you were dressed. Oh this was so far from anything she was used to. Practice date. She could maybe not freak out if she kept reminding herself of that part... or it would make it worse. Maybe she should stay out of her own head?

<Jean> Yes. Most definitely. Also, ow, you're thinking super loud.

<Carol> "I'm sorry I can't control the volume of my brain when I'm freaking out," Carol muttered back.

<Jamie> I tried to make a joke and it turned into a pissing contest with your ex. Now it's awkward and we're both just going to drink until we're drunk because you two are taking your sweet ass time. He gave Redd a tight smile and took a long drink from his pint glass.

<Redd> He had that look that Jean got when she was talking in her head. She smirked and sipped her wine.

<Jean> She's not my ex! You're my ex! My ex-ex only ex! Jean waved a hand at Carol and then gave the greeter a winning grin.

<Jamie> Whatever. We're going to be drunk.

<Carol> Carol let Jean go ahead of her toward the table so she had something to hide behind.

<Jean> Jean was fine with that. Her dress was fire. Not literally, because Jamie wouldn't go for that, but it was sexy and lacy and kinda see through. Her strappy heels clicked across the floor and she put some extra sway in her step. Not too drunk, I hope.

<Redd> "Oh. Well, hello." Redd perked up at the sight of her boss, then gave her the once over, entirely to mess with her man.

<Jamie> Jamie stood when they approached and he gave Jean a big smile. "Wow, Jeannie."

<Jean> Jean's grin matched his and she reached up to give him a quick hug. "Thanks!" After closing her eyes for just a moment and giving him a mental squish she looked over at Redd. "You guys having fun?"

<Redd> Her plan to give her boss shit and keep messing with the ex-ex died when she saw their besotted expressions. Disgusting. "Loads and loads." She cocked her head and spotted the blonde from TV. Oooo. She grinned and got up too, putting her wine down.

<Carol> Carol raised a hand in a slightly awkward wave once she realised she'd been spotted.

<Jamie> Jamie frowned when all he got was a hug. He'd not seen her in what felt like hours and he deserved a kiss, dammit. He was distracted by Redd's motion in the corner of his eye, though. Ah ha. "Carol, this is Redd. Redd, Carol."

<Jean> Yay! With that job done for her, she reached for his scruffy chin and turned his face back to hers for that kiss.

<Redd> "It's nice to meet you, Carol." She smiled, brushing her long braided red hair back over her shoulder and pulling out a chair by hers. "We can totally ignore all that now," she said, motioning at the couple.

<Carol> Carol glanced over at Jean and Jamie, her nose wrinkling a little bit before she took the offered seat, "Yeah, let's pretend they're not doing that."

<Redd> "No problem. I've got plenty of practice ignoring her at work." She grinned brightly and waved at the waiter. "Can I get you a drink?"

<Carol> Hmm. Why didn't she think of this earlier? "Uh, just water..." she offered a small smile, "I'm trying a not drinking thing."

<Jamie> Jamie grinned into the kiss and dipped her just a touch before breaking it. "Much better. You look beautiful, Jeannie."

<Jean> "Aww, thank you," she gushed, leaning into him and finally looking over at Redd and Carol.

<Redd> "Ahh, okay," she said with a nod. "I probably wouldn't have, but, well..." Redd settled herself into her seat and nodded at Jamie.

<Carol> Carol nodded in understanding, "Yeah, I get that."

<Redd> "Oh no, we've been spotted," she deadpanned, leaning toward Carol.

<Carol> "Oh, nice of you to notice we're still here," Carol teased the other two.

<Jamie> Jamie rolled his eyes at the other two at the table. Pick on Jamie night?

<Jean> I'll make it up to you later. Promise. She giggled and leaned her head against him for a moment.

<Jean> "I mean, we could totally just go and let you guys get acquainted." Jean gave them a bright grin.

<Jamie> I'm for that plan. Jamie gave the girls who were sitting a tight smile. "We can find food elsewhere."

<Redd> "I don't know, can you? Although, it's not a dark tunnel, I guess."

<Carol> "Nu-uh. Jean agreed to make this less awkward by doing the double date thing. You're stuck here."

<Jamie> "Cave. I said cave. For fucks sake." Jamie grumbled under his breath and pulled Jean's chair out for her.

<Redd> "Right. How could I forget." She dismissed it by picking up her glass and taking a sip.

<Carol> Carol looked between Jamie and Redd wondering what had happened there.

<Jean> "We're gonna staaay," she giggled. Do I want to know? Jean did her little shimmy as she sat in the chair, hiking up her skirt a bit for his benefit.

<Jamie> Jamie enjoyed the show, as always, then moved to sit in his own chair and flag the waiter for whatever the girls wanted. Remember me mentioning a failed joke turning into a pissing contest? Yeah.

<Carol> "Do I want to ask?" Carol looked at Redd.

<Redd> "It was just some small talk about technique." She smirked over the rim of the glass at Jamie, let her eyes flit to Jean for a second, then she turned her full attention to Carol. "Nothing important. So water for you?"

<Jean> I hope there wasn't any literal pissing involved. Jean sighed. "I promised no awkwardness, guys. Don't disappoint me."

<Carol> Carol nodded to Redd's question, "Until I get bored of it and decide I need something with actual flavour anyway."

<Jamie> No, thank God. "I tried to make a Star Wars joke and it turned into Redd telling me I don't know how to go down on Jean."

<Carol> How did anyone get there from a Star Wars joke? "Then you were definitely doing that wrong."

<Jean> Jean couldn't help it, she cackled. "Oh... he totes knows how juuust fiiine."

<Jamie> "Oh, I know I know." He cracked a grin at Jean. "I was trying to make a pun about light side and dark side and because vags are basically like a dark cave, it's the dark side. And dicks are out in the light, so light side." Jamie barely resisted the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose. Explaining jokes and puns made them even worse. He hated it here. Yep. Another beer? YEP.

<Carol> Carol raised an eyebrow at the analogy, "But that comparison makes it sound like you have to choose a side..."

<Jamie> "Redd's chosen the dark side. That was the whole reason for the... never mind." His second beer got set down and he quickly drank half of it.

<Redd> "Yeah, that, and the implication that loving other women puts me on the dark side was borderline offensive."

<Jean> Jean was still giggling, and then made a realization and bounced. "I've gone to the light side! I'm a sexy Jedi now!"

<Carol> "Kinda gotta agree with you there..." she looked over at Jamie, "What's wrong with liking women?"

<Jamie> "Nothing. Obviously, I like women." He sighed and gave in to the pinching. "It was supposed to be a funny and it failed. Obviously. Now that everyone and their dog knows, can we just fucking move on already? Great. Thanks."

<Jean> "Well, I guess I'm sort of on the light side, since I still like women... I just have my Jamie back." She reached over and took his hand, partially to stop him from pinching his nose again.

<Redd> "I didn't think he meant it that way, but it sure could be taken that way." She grinned. "And he's fun to mess with."

<Carol> "He makes it way too easy."

<Jamie> "Oh yeah, great fun." He gave Jean a pained smile and went back to his beer.

<Redd> She gave her boss an almost apologetic grin and then a real smile for Carol. "Right?!"

<Jean> She squeezed his hand and used her teke to sliiiiiide her chair up against his. The dark and light sides can totes come together later.

<Jamie> Bribery?

<Jean> Incentive!

<Carol> Carol narrowed her eyes suspiciously at Jean and Jamie as Jean's chair slid over, "Are you two brain flirting?"

<Redd> "Oh, they're totally brain flirting." She nodded and sipped her wine.

<Jamie> Jamie smirked at Jean and arched an eyebrow, looping his arm over the back of her chair. We can stay. For now. "We don't have to be brain flirting to be brain flirting." He tilted his head and let his eyes slowly rake up and down Jean's body. "See?"

<Carol> "That's not brain flirting, that's checking out your fiancee." Carol rolled her eyes.

<Jean> For now, she agreed, reaching to take a sip of water while she waited for her drink. "Very true." She giggled. "We share brains." Jean caught his movement and smirked at him, meeting his eyes when he finished. Although you're making it hard to wait...

<Redd> "She's right. I could do that too." In fact... she looked over at Carol and gave her the exaggerated elevator eyes, giggling all the while.

<Jamie> No, babe, making it hard is your job. Jamie grinned and turned back to the table at large before he would need to disguise some things. Just in time to catch some serious non-brain flirting on the opposite side. "Well, well."

<Carol> Carol played up to the elevator eyes because at least she could ham it up a bit without the aid of scotch.

<Jean> And I do love my job... Jean was watching Carol and Redd though, pleased they were getting along.

<Redd> Although she was playing, she was enjoying the view, and gave Carol a more sincere smile after she was done posing.

<Jamie> It definitely shows, he winked at her. "So... You two sure you don't want to be alone?"

<Carol> "We literally just had this conversation," Carol reminded him.

<Redd> "I'm not that scary," she laughed, then paused and gave Carol an innocent blink. "Am I?"

<Jean> "Well yeah but this time it's because he's totes thinking we can go have a quickie in Baby while you guys order apps." She grinned.

<Jamie> "That and they might want to play 'how close to getting my foot up her skirt can I get before someone outside of the table notices' without us here."

<Carol> Carol charged the finger-gun and aimed it at Jamie.

<Redd> "Oh shit, if we're pulling out the powers remember I don't have any," she laughed, taking a look around the restaurant to see if anyone was paying attention to them.

<Jamie> "Do it and see if we get kicked out because you decided to lose your temper and force my powers to be put on display." Serious voice Jamie was here now.

<Carol> Carol raised an eyebrow, "Who's losing their temper?"

<Jamie> "Looks to me like you're the one with the gun aimed at me and I'm the one sitting here casually with my arm around my girl. Just because I lost the jovial nature I had a moment ago doesn't mean I lost my temper. Far from it, in fact."

<Carol> "Well I was going to point it at Jean but you don't know when to stop talking." She reabsorbed the charge, "Relax. I'm not going to fire it at you when it'll draw attention." She'd get him later.

<Jean> "Do I need to break out my special stash for everyone to chill out?" Jean leaned against Jamie and put her hand on his leg.

<Redd> Redd was watching this like a tennis match now. "Wait... what even are your powers?"

<Jamie> "Then what's the point of bringing it out? If you point a gun at someone, you'd better be willing to fire it. Don't point it at someone unless you mean it." He blinked at Redd. "You don't know?" Jamie turned to Jean, "She doesn't know?"

<Carol> "I think you're overreacting kind of a lot." Good God she wanted a drink.

<Jamie> "You don't think pointing a gun at someone is overreacting?" Why did Fury sign off on her? Who the fuck knows.

<Carol> "It's my finger."

<Jean> "The finger gun of zappiness." Jean squeezed his tense thigh. "Nope, she doesn't know. I didn't want to break your cover if you didn't want her to know, babe."

<Redd> "Oh, are you a shapeshifter or something?" She gave Jamie a more thorough looking over. "That would explain some things."

<Jamie> "It was loaded." At Jean's squeeze he brought his free hand over to place on top of hers. He was fine. Carol needed help. "No, I'm ..." Jamie looked at Jean while he thought. Multiple Personality Disorder personified? No, because that's not true. It feels like it sometimes. Fair point. He turned back to Redd. "In short, I can create exact duplicates of myself."

<Carol> Carol rolled her eyes, deciding not to point out that he didn't even know if it was with a concussive shot or not and resisted the urge to slouch in her chair. This was not doing her newly embarked sobriety any favours.

<Redd> "Exact duplicates... of yourself?" She cocked her head and grabbed a braid to fiddle with. "Huh, that's..." What was it? "So was it not you that showed up at the shop this spring and kidnapped my boss?" She was smiling to show she was teasing about the kidnapping. Hopefully.

<Jean> Jean laughed. "You can't kidnap the willing." She gave him a bright grin. It's not a disorder because it's just you being you. "No, it was him."

<Jamie> Isn't that what disorders are? People being themselves but not considered socially normal? "What she said. It was me. We call me 'Prime' and my copies 'dupes.' I would show you, but we're in a nice place and I'd rather not scare all the probably wealthy patrons."

<Jean> Yeah, but we have the mutant card. It makes all our weirdness normal! Jean giggled. "I thought he might have been a dupe until I felt him... that's part of our thing." She gave Jamie a smile. "I know which Jamie is which."

<Redd> "Isn't it confusing?" She was still studying him now, and gave Carol a glance too. "Seems like it would be, right?"

<Carol> "Oh, it's confusing as heck," Carol nodded.

<Jamie> "It's not confusing at all. For me."

<Jean> "It's more complicated than confusing since I can tell them all apart," she nodded.

<Redd> "I think I'm with you," she laughed and nodded at Carol. "That sounds so confusing."

<Carol> "I don't think they can answer honestly about it being confusing because of their cheating brain stuff," Carol added to Redd, "You need an objective opinion and I say it's a hot mess."

<Redd> She laughed. "Nailed it!"

<Jamie> "My parents never had a problem," he arched an eyebrow. "And we didn't have the 'cheating brain stuff.'"

<Jamie> "They're all me. It's not like they're my twin or something. It's me. That's what makes it uncomplicated. Just treat a dupe the way you'd treat Prime because it's me." Stop repeating that. Right, sounds dumb, huh? Annoyingly.

<Jean> "Well, to be fair, they were your parents, so that makes sense." Jean watched him mansplain his own powers with a fond smile. "You... but sometimes with a few, um, quirks."

<Carol> "Yeah and that's the trap. Some of them are... really quirky."

<Jamie> "It's not a trap..." Jamie frowned in confusion. How was he a trap?

<Jean> "It's only a trap when you can't tell," she said, reminded of not knowing if Prime was dead. Fucking Arcade.

<Redd> She laughed, shaking her head, then looked at Carol. "And how about you? What is your party trick?"

<Carol> "Oh I have a list," Carol laughed, "I fly, I absorb and throw out energy, super strength, basically indestructible..."

<Redd> "Oh, wow, you hit the lottery, huh?" She took a sip of her wine and nodded. "That's got to be really cool. If I'd ever gotten powers flying was at the top of the list."

<Jamie> Jamie picked his beer back up and watched the two ladies. He had a list, too. Of things he was an expert in because of his powers.

<Carol> "I guess... but I'm not a mutant... so it's probably cheating."

<Redd> "You're not?" She looked at Jean for help. "How... I thought that was how people got powers?"

<Jean> "Generally... although there are some, um, weird loopholes..." She glanced at Jamie.

<Carol> "I'm a special case," Carol shrugged a shoulder, "I have a whole different kind of weird genetics that continues to surprise me with stuff and break a bunch of things."

<Redd> "Well, maybe that's not the lottery then..." She frowned and swirled her wine. "I'm sorry. That part must suck."

<Carol> "It used to before I had a job and could pay for all the stuff I broke by accident... and sometimes on purpose."

<Redd> "Oooh, on purpose? Did you break anything fun?"

<Carol> "My favourite angry hobby is smashing asteroids."

<Jamie> "Good thing you don't have to pay for those."

<Redd> She nearly choked on her wine. "Asteroids?! Like, real ones?!"

<Carol> "Yeah, real ones," she laughed, "I mentioned being indestructible, right? I can survive in the vacuum of space so... it's a great place to try that primal scream therapy thing. Or save the planet and pick up some space junk because there's a huge amount of trash orbiting the Earth. I'm serious. You can google it."

<Redd> She looked over at the other couple, but Jean was just watching them, snuggled into her dude's side. "I know it's a thing. I'm an environmentalist. So on behalf of the planet, thanks! But... wow. Just... wow. So you can just... fly to space?"

<Carol> "Yep. Any time I want. So, any time you want to book a meteor shower, I'm your girl," she offered a small grin, "Space is... it's a trip. But I like it out there and not just the energy boost just... I don't know... there's something about it..."

<Redd> "That's amazing." She smiled and turned a little toward Carol, resting her elbow on the table and toying with her hair. "To be able to just... hang out up there and see the Earth."

<Jean> Jean grinned, pleased with herself for this idea. I think they're past the awkward part. Her hand was still on Jamie's thigh and she wriggled her fingers a bit, inching them up and letting him feel her internal smirk.

<Carol> "It sure helps get some perspective... and when you don't want to take work calls. I borrowed a camera from NASA once to take pictures out there..." That had be totally worth the favours she called in.

<Jamie> Jamie's face twitched, a barely perceptible giveaway of his enjoyment of what she was insinuating. I think they were past that by the time they were making eyes at each other. His fingers wrapped around hers and he let his eyes slide to meet hers. Wanna go practice for a baby in Baby?

<Redd> She giggled, then perked up. "I'd love to see the pictures, if they're not classified or something."

<Jean> Jean leaned her head into him and nodded. Want me to make them think we're still here?

<Carol> "Sure, I can get those no problem," she offered a smile, "I had copies but they kinda got lost in the many moves I made between here and DC."

<Redd> "Great! I appreciate it." She returned the smile. "Yeah, so are you still considered active military? Because of the X-Men thing?" She waved her hand at Jean and Jamie but didn't look.

<Carol> "Oh that's complicated because I have three different jobs... mostly I work under SHIELD so yeah, active military and assigned to Stark's pet project for now. Which... I prefer because when I was in DC there was a lot of desks and paperwork and I hate paperwork."

<Jamie> I don't think it would matter if you did. Aaaand, he turned to grin at her, I want you to be fully present with me.

<Jean> Jean sat up and grinned, reaching for her purse.

<Redd> "Paperwork is never fun," she agreed, looking at her boss. "And this bitch likes to make me do it for her whenever possible," she laughed, then paused to cock her head at Jean sliding from the chair. "What's up?"

<Jean> Jean smirked and decided to own it as she grabbed Jamie's hand. "He is. We'll be back soon. But not too soon."

<Jamie> Jamie felt his cheeks flush but smirked at Jean. Oh I'll be up soon enough.

<Carol> "...." Carol's nose wrinkled, "Ew."

<Redd> "...what she said." Redd gave them both side eye, but did notice her dude was blushing. Haaaaa. "Go... do your thing and for fuck's sake wash your hands before you come back."

<Jean> Jean laughed and tugged Jamie's hand. Oh, I know you will... I have endless faith in that. "Don't have as much fun as us!"

<Carol> "Go before I throw scam breadrolls at you."

<Jamie> "If you do, though, at least do it in a way that won't get us banned from here, 'kay?" He flashed a bright smile over his shoulder at them as he was pulled from his chair. Jamie wrapped his arm around Jean's waist, pressing her side to his, and picked her up just enough for her feet to be off the floor. This would be faster.

<Jean> Jean squeaked a bit and then giggled her way out the door.

<Redd> She watched them go with a slightly pained expression. "Did he... pick her up?"

<Carol> Carol frowned after them, "Yeah... looks like..."

<Redd> "Well that couldn't get any more caveman without him dragging her by her hair..."

<Carol> "Are we gonna have to wait til they're done before we order food?"

<Redd> "Fuck that, let's order." She laughed and waved for the waiter.

<Carol> "If they're mad they only have themselves to blame." She eyed Redd for a moment, "So, Jean mentioned something about you growing up in a hippie commune... you one of them weed smoking hippies or the militant vegan hippies? I feel like I shouldn't have to ask because you work for Jean but for my safety I need to know before I order."

<Redd> She laughed. "I guess I'm a weed smoking vegetarian, but not militant about it. If you want a steak, go for it. No judgment."

<Carol> "Oh good because that's exactly what I was going to order," she laughed, "Its the only way to be sure your food is cooked by a real person and not reheated from a packet."

<Redd> "The fresh veggie dishes are good for that, too, though. My family was never too strict on the meat thing. We had chickens... in the house."

<Carol> Carol cocked her head on one side as she looked at Redd and considered that news, "That doesn't sound hygienic..."

<Redd> The waiter arrived and took their orders and after he left she could only shrug. "They ate the bugs." She watched for her reaction with a sly smirk.

<Carol> She laughed, "Yeah they do that... so I guess they were at least paying rent."

<Redd> "Oh, definitely. Everything had to work to live on the farm. Have you heard of mycelium bricks?"

<Carol> Carol nodded, "My dad's in construction... we got all kinds of interesting lessons as kids."

<Redd> "Holy shit, you know what it is?! Do you know how often I have to explain it to people?!"

<Carol> That made her laugh again, "You'd be surprised the kinds of random shit I know."

<Redd> "I guess so." She grinned and took a sip. "Tonight's all about the welcome surprises."

<Carol> "What can I say? I don't live a boring life," she replied with a grin of her own, "People forget that officers in the military have degrees. They think we're all dummies."

<Redd> "My grandpa dodged the draft," she said with a shrug. "Pacifists. He ended up in New Mexico on a farm. Luckily, it wasn't a cult and the people weren't totally nuts so he stayed. My parents are still there."

<Carol> "My brother and I joined the Air Force so we could go to college. Our parents could only afford to send one of us so Joe got to do regular college. Sometimes I wonder if he'd have been less pissed about it if we'd gone and joined the navy instead."

<Redd> "So who was mad about you joining the Air Force? And why?" She cocked her head.

<Carol> "My dad," she sighed, "I don't know if he was mad that I joined so much as that he got it into his head it was my idea and I talked Steven into it when it was actually the other way around."

<Redd> "Obviously, I'm not so familiar with the military since my great-grandpas burned their draft cards." She smirked and took a sip of her wine. "But why would it matter so much to him? What's wrong with the Air Force as opposed to the Navy?"

<Carol> "There's kind of an unhealthy rivalry between the different branches of the military..." she shrugged a shoulder, "The navy also has pilots so it's extra salty."

<Redd> "Well that's stupid." She nodded.

<Carol> "Yes but you gotta remember it's an institution largely populated by men..."

<Redd> "Ahhh, got it," she laughed, nodding harder. "I bet Jean's guy would argue that if they were still here."

<Carol> "Oh for sure, he loves to argue."

<Redd> "I noticed that," she giggled. "He tried to hit on me the first time I met him."

<Carol> She laughed, "Yeah, Jean mentioned that... I was worried this was all gonna be super awkward... I feel like minus the Jamie, it's less awkward."

<Redd> "Men make everything more awkward," she said with a grin. "Best to just stay away from them."

<Carol> "Yeah, I tend to agree..." she nodded, "I mean, they're useful for some stuff... but mostly I find I just want to punch them in the face after a while."

<Redd> "Ooo, violent. I dig it. Probably not supposed to, since it's bad for the image and all, but some guys deserve it."

<Carol> "Absolutely they do. I never punch anyone that doesn't have it coming."

<Redd> "Good to know," she agreed, thanking the waiter when he appeared with more bread.

<Carol> "Of course, I know people I can punch and not break so... that I do for fun... with consent, of course."

<Redd> "Kinky!" The waiter scuttled off faster at her comment and she burst into giggles.

<Carol> That made Carol laugh too, "Oddly, it can be for some of them... it's not a super effective punishment tactic."

<Redd> "Oh yeah? Any fun inappropriate stories?" She leaned in just in case things got interesting.

<Carol> Oh that was a loaded question. Did she tell the one where she nearly killed Sebastian or the one where she ended up pregnant? Decisions decisions... "Those are for people I've known for longer than half an hour."

<Redd> "Oh, so they're really inappropriate stories." She grinned. "Well, we'll work on that then."

<Carol> "Inappropriate stories are a specialty. You earn a lot when you work in the military."

<Redd> "Well, do you have any starter level stories for me?" Redd smirked and gave her a slow blink.

<Carol> She raised an eyebrow, returning the smirk, "I don't know... probably not any that are dinner-appropriate..."

<Redd> "What if I like being inappropriate?" She took another sip, meeting Carol's eyes.

<Carol> "Then we should finish dinner quickly."

<Redd> She laughed and glanced over toward the kitchen. "Or skip it entirely, since I think they went to Australia for prep?"

<Carol> "I guess we wouldn't be the only ones skipping the dinner part...."

<Redd> "Straight to dessert is always a solid plan, right?" Redd reached over and trailed her fingertips over the back of Carol's hand.

<Carol> "We can always get takeout if we're hungry later..."

<Redd> "Exactly. I know I'll work up an appetite." She grinned and downed the last of the wine in her glass.
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