5/13 Issue: It's Not a Trap!

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Slarti
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5/13 Issue: It's Not a Trap!

Post by Slarti » Sat May 14, 2022 4:36 am

Timelined a few days after No Apologies.

Carol: Carol was finally back in her room at the asylum and ignoring her office for TV. Chewie was off doing whatever alien cats did all day and Yoda was off sniffing everything... and hopefully not leaving little puddles everywhere. They had people for that, right? If they didn't, she needed to get some people for that. But that was work and work was in her office.

Jean: Jamie was working, so she decided to visit the nuthouse so she wouldn't distract him, as fun as that could be. Parking her little car outside, Jean grabbed her offering and floated for the door.

Jean: For Jean, work was at the dispensary, and while she wasn't really avoiding it, she was tired of Redd's attitude. She loved her friend, but FFS. Girl needed to get laid. Not by her.

Carol: Despite not wanting to do any work today, Carol couldn't help making a mental to-do list now that she was 'back'. She should check in with the noobs. Especially Silence. Make sure she hadn't eaten anyone.

Jean: The door swung open and Jean and her cargo came in. She did a bit of prodding for Carol's weird half alien brain. Bingo! I come with coffee!

Carol: Gah! Brain invasion! She did a bit of internal and external flailing. I'm in my room. Damn right you brought me coffee.

Jean: I know, she sing-songed and headed up the stairs, swinging Carol's door open without warning. Not naked are you?

Carol: "Too late if I was," Carol pointed out, raising her hand from her prone position on the sofa.

Jean: I know, she grinned, rounding the sofa and parking the coffees on the coffee table before parking herself on a chair. Not like I would have minded.

Carol: Carol was now suspicious, "What do you want?"

Jean: "What? I have to want something? Maybe I just wanted to say hi?"

Carol: "And throw unsolicited compliments at me? No one does that." She sat up to claim her coffee.

Jean: "Why not? You're hot." Jean floated her cold brew to her hand and took a slurp from the straw.

Carol: She laughed, "Thanks... but you're in a relationship so compliments is all the action I'm getting anywhere around here."

Jean: "Indeed I am." She tapped a manicured nail against her lips as if in thought. "Now, what could we do to help you..."

Carol: She shook her head, "I don't need help. I'm fine." She took a sip of coffee, "What I need is something to do. Superheroing sounds a lot more fun than it is."

Jean: Jean made a face. "Yeah, well, I'm okay with the dry spell in superheroing since our last adventure sucked ass."

Carol: "You don't have to come. More things for me to punch in the face."

Jean: "I'll remember that when I get the call then," she said, poking out her tongue.

Carol: "If I call you it's because we need your particular skill set. If it's anyone else, feel free to ignore it.... unless, you know... they're screaming or something."

Jean: "My particular skill set, huh? So, like, setting shit on fire? I do enjoy that." She took another sip and nodded. "Just don't tell Jamie."

Carol: "And your spectacular brain-fu," Carol nodded, "I mean, we have a spare telepath but I hear asking her to do the teke thing could result in bigger problems."

Jean: "Yeah, Beth's control isn't great. She blew up a water pipe at Jamie's building. He was super happy about it." She laughed and straightened her little pink ring.

Carol: Carol laughed, "I bet. Man she should work on that... before it bites us in the ass."

Jean: "Yeah, maybe we should do some teke exercises or something." Jean smirked, sitting back and playing with her hair. "She needs to get laid, too."

Carol: Carol blinked at her, "What's this 'too'?"

Jean: "Like you don't?" Jean giggled, very nearly snorting.

Carol: "I don't like where this is going." She was right to be suspicious!

Jean: "Why not? I'm being a friend. A good, helpful, generous friend with creative problem solving skills." She grinned.

Carol: Carol rolled her eyes, "I picked a great week to give up drinking."

Jean: "Well, I have a solution for that, too!" Jean nearly dove for her purse and scrambled to locate her personal stash, holding it up in triumph.

Carol: Carol shook her head, "Noooo unlike the rest of you, I still get the joy that is random drug tests."

Jean: She waved a hand. "It's legal! It was your boss who legalized, after all!"

Carol: "Yeah still not legal in the military when I'm all on duty and stuff. It's fine... I should definitely not trade one thing for another."

Jean: "The military is no fun then." Jean picked out a little bottle of tincture and popped the lid on her coffee to give it her special touch.

Carol: "They want to make sure you're actually focused when you're working and potentially protecting human lives."

Jean: "Hey, it makes me more focused, so ner." She swished her cup and took a sip, making a happy noise.

Carol: "Well good for you but you don't have all the alien DNA to worry about."

Jean: "Yeah, maybe. Who knows." That called for another sip. "Anyway! Not the point. My point is that redheads are hot."

Carol: The sudden subject change could give you whiplash but it just made Carol laugh, "Paying yourself some compliments now, huh?"

Jean: "Always, duh, but also no. Have you met my assistant?" Jean grinned.

Carol: "When would I have had time to meet your assistant? Also when do I go to your store ever?"

Jean: "Details." She waved a hand. "Anyway, she has red hair. In fact, she's named Redd, which is kinda weird, but she's awesome. Also, she likes blondes." She gave Carol a significant once over.

Carol: Carol gave Jean a hard stare. "Are you trying to set me up?"

Jean: "Yup! You got it!" She bounced in place a little and took another drink.

Carol: Wow not even a trace of shame. "Does Redd know you're trying to set her up?"

Jean: "Nope, not a clue." It was a fantastic plan.

Carol: "You think she's gonna appreciate it?"

Jean: "Of course she will!"

Carol: "Only if it works," Carol pointed out, "And my track record is... pretty bad. Go ask the last redhead I dated - she's down the hall."

Jean: "Well, the last redhead Redd dated was me, so she's already used to crazy."

Carol: "Nooo you don't understand," she shook her head, "I'm a mess. I shouldn't be around people."

Jean: "Okay, that's just crazy talk in the not fun crazy way. She's not looking for anything serious, but she's fun and she's fun, if you know what I mean."

Carol: "Oh I didn't need that..." Carol wrinkled her nose. She needed scotch if anything. "Now that's in my brain...."

Jean: "Riiiight, you're telling me you don't want to get laid with a hot chick who already knows we're all weirdos and doesn't care?"

Carol: "I don't want to break your assistant because I'm too busy going around in circles in my brain to pay attention..."

Jean: "Break her?" That part did make Jean's nose wrinkle, with images of Arcade from Jamie's head dancing unpleasantly in hers.

Carol: "Yeah... Didn't have to be as careful with Cess... she's made of shiny silly putty..." She missed that. "With everyone else, I have to turn my powers off..."

Jean: "Oh." Well, she didn't want a broken assistant, but... "That might be good practice for controlling it, or, turn them off for the night! Sometimes that can be a relief, right?" Although Jean was really tired of Jamie turning his off.

Carol: "Less of a relief when I'm not drinking but I guess one night is okay... Just..." she groaned, "I don't know if this is a good idea...."

Jean: "You never think anything is a good idea! Live a little!"

Carol: "I make stupid choices when I 'live a little'..." Carol reminded her, "That's how I ended up with a kid."

Jean: "Well Redd doesn't have a surprise dick, so that won't be a problem!" She grinned again. Problem solved!

Carol: She laughed, "Yeah, I think you're deliberately ignoring my point... How were you planning on getting us in the same room?"

Jean: "When you have dinner together, duh."

Carol: "And you were gonna make that happen how?"

Jean: "By telling you that there's a hot redhead and by telling her there's a hot blonde." How was this not obvious? "Never had a blind date before? Although, I can totes show you pics of her..."

Jean: "All kinds of pics."

Carol: "... Please don't do that." She covered her face with her hands to hide the embarrassment, "Though I'm not exactly anonymous if she asks how you know me. I'm the only blonde on the team since Beth dyed her hair.... Also, blind dates are a trap why would I do that to myself?"

Jean: "Oh my God, you sound like Jamie. It's not a trap! She knows who I am, not just Maddie Pyre who owns the dispensary. She knows about me and the Phoenix, and the X-Men."

Carol: "So she's absolutely already seen me on TV and everything..." at the huge mess that was the launch of the team. "Why does that make me feel worse?"

Jean: "I have no idea, because you look like a whole snack in that uniform and she's a vaginatarian." Jean smirked and sipped her coffee.

Carol: That made her laugh again, "I can't believe those words just came out of your mouth!"

Jean: She giggled. "It's true! You should find out what she does with her mouth..."

Carol: "I'm not wearing my uniform to a date though," she pointed out, "I gotta get by on being me."

Jean: Jean blinked and gave Carol a long, slow ride on the eye elevator. "I don't think that's a problem."

Carol: ".... That is not what I mean!" She picked up a cushion and threw it at Jean. "I mean the me part!"

Jean: She stopped it in mid-air with a flash of pink. "So did I!"

Carol: "You're willfully ignoring me again, aren't you?"

Jean: "How am I ignoring you?! I'm totally sitting here talking to you!"

Carol: "Uh-huh and yet you're still missing the point of everything I'm saying to you." She shook her head, "This is a bad idea."

Jean: "So a night of fun is a bad idea, check." Jean gave a solemn nod and took a loud slurp of doctored coffee.

Carol: Carol sighed, "I appreciate the offer... it's just... so awkward... and I mess stuff up..."

Jean: "Well, yeah, with that kind of negative Nellie attitude!" Jean blinked at herself. Where the hell had she picked up that phrase?!

Carol: "I can't help it. I have a bad track record and now I have no scotch to soften the blow."

Jean: "Don't you think that maybe sometimes the scotch was part of the problem? Maybe now that you're not drinking, and if you just try to relax and be yourself, you can improve that track record?"

Carol: "I'm not sure I'm good at relaxing..."

Jean: "It's not good to be uptight all the time." She took another sip of her own brew. "You know, I totally sabotaged myself by thinking Jamie would hate me because I hated myself for, um, our epic misunderstanding. So we lost four years together. What are you missing out on from being all 'I suck!?'"

Carol: Mostly spending time with her kid but that wasn't going to change any time soon. "I don't know. I don't know what it's like to not be like this..."

Jean: "Okay, well, try. You'll never know if you don't try, right?" Jean realized she didn't have a ton of room to talk since she had moped for four years, but hey. She'd learned! Progress!

Carol: "You sure you want the first time I try to be a functional adult to be with your assistant?"

Jean: "She was raised in a hippie commune full of crazy people, so she's about as understanding as you're gonna find," she laughed.

Carol: Carol laughed a little, "Okay well that makes it a little easier, I guess."

Jean: "See! I told you!" Jean grinned and did a little chair dance. "So is that a yes?"

Carol: "I guess...?" She still wasn't sure, "You gonna make me do this alone or you gonna supervise?"

Jean: "Supervise?!" She laughed, then considered it. "I guess we could do a double date situation thing... take the pressure off?"

Carol: Carol nodded, "Yes it would. Going out with someone I've never even seen just sounds so awkward..."

Jean: "Oh, it'll still be awkward," she giggled. "Jamie hit on her the first time they met."

Carol: Carol facepalmed, "Awesome..."

Jean: "Nooooo, that's a fun awkward!"

Carol: She raised an eyebrow, "Are you sure?"

Jean: "Absolutely. It's free entertainment for everybody!"

Carol: "I guess I'll have to take your word for it... you're gonna have to let me know where we're going and what the hell to wear if you want me to do this properly. I'm used to bars..."

Jean: "Well, a restaurant is probably safer, and also less loud, so we can actually talk." Of course, her and Jamie didn't need to hear each other to talk.

Carol: "Yeah so... let me know." She sighed, "I'll try to be actually like a girl for a night."

Jean: Ooooh. She tried to hide her excitement and failed. "Aren't you lucky I can help you with that, too?!"

Carol: Carol realised she'd made a huge mistake. "You're not dressing me."

Jean: "Why do you look so much like Barbie if it's not for me to dress you?" She gave her a shit-eating grin and slurped her coffee.

Carol: Oh the finger-gun was so so tempting. "Now I'm tempted just to go in my uniform to make a point."

Jean: "See, I win either way." Jean was pleased.

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Re: 5/13 Issue: It's Not a Trap!

Post by Esynthia » Sat May 14, 2022 4:50 am

Barbie Carol!

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