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'Starter' Marriages.

Posted: Mon Sep 17, 2007 3:19 am
by fourpawsonthefloor
All I have to say is WTF

I don't consider myself a fuddy duddy, but this whole flippant way of viewing things really steams my noodles. People don't want to have to stick ANYTHING out anymore. Want something? Get a loan! Saving? What is that?? Husband? Think marriage out carefully and work through problems? Pffft. I'll just get a divorce and move on.

Arrgh.

Paws

[Edited on 16/9/07 by fourpawsonthefloor]

'Starter' Marriages.

Posted: Mon Sep 17, 2007 4:49 am
by Angelique
While this is nothing new, I must join in the chorus of WTF about comparing spouses to hairstyles.

'Starter' Marriages.

Posted: Mon Sep 17, 2007 5:06 am
by Feuerstein
Desensualization. It's the new "in" thing. If nothing has any real worth, it won't pain you to lose it. That's the perspective of the Modern Day American.

Some people put very little value on marriage, or devotion to just one partner, anymore. And it seems to me that people have adopted a bit of a fatalist perspective. They go into a relationship, or anything, braced for its failure, because they're being "realistic". But sometimes a little faith is all it takes to get through the bad stuff. A lot of divorces have very little basis other than pride or unwillingness to compromise. People are selfish dammit.

End rant. :3

'Starter' Marriages.

Posted: Mon Sep 17, 2007 4:53 pm
by Slarti
After starting to write a reply to this three times and deleting each one, I’m just gonna say I think Feuerstein hit it on the head, so I have nothing intelligent to add other than a resounding ARGH!

'Starter' Marriages.

Posted: Tue Sep 18, 2007 12:47 am
by Saint Kurt
I thought this was The Onion at first...

I think this pretty much sums it up:

[quote]It's easy to write these women off as callous or self-absorbed. And yet on some level, they just might be pioneers...[/quote]

Well, let's see...

[quote]"Oh, my God, it was so easy. I realized, I can get out of this, and he can get out of this, and we can get on with our lives.... I think marriage is the new dating and having kids is the new marriage," [/quote]

[quote]"...I'm watching Sex and the City and going, OK, so should I spend the next 20 years getting my heart broken and pretending that it's all in good fun? Or should I marry this dude I'm dating, have a gorgeous party, and make my parents really, really happy?"[/quote]

[quote]"You work toward this giant event, have an enormous party, then an hour after you get married, reality sets in. I was like, Oh, sh** — that didn't really solve anything."[/quote]

[quote]"It's like, if I thought I had to have my hair the same way for the rest of my life, I'd freak out."[/quote]


Hmmm. I'm going to go with callous and self-absorbed. I'm all for improving on old things, but I don't think I want this kind of pioneering.

-e

'Starter' Marriages.

Posted: Tue Sep 18, 2007 1:03 am
by wingyding
Well hell people, if you don't want the commitment of marriage, what's the sensible option? don't get married yet. And as for making your parents happy, that ought to be their deal, not yours.
Post note: If you're worried about spending the next 20 years getting your heart broken, pick better men. hint: avoid those who cling to the floors of bars like a static cloth.

'Starter' Marriages.

Posted: Tue Sep 18, 2007 2:13 am
by Esynthia
tbh, I liked marriage.. until my husband started being a complete ass 24/7 and told me he cheated.

'Starter' Marriages.

Posted: Tue Sep 18, 2007 3:35 am
by fourpawsonthefloor
Well totes. I'm not saying divorce is bad, like...kick that ass to the curb. But the flippant view of it sets me on edge.

Paws

'Starter' Marriages.

Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2007 1:56 am
by Garble
See I always thought practice marriages were called "engagements".

'Starter' Marriages.

Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2007 4:26 am
by Esynthia
Originally posted by fourpawsonthefloor
kick that ass to the curb. But the flippant view of it sets me on edge.
I SO DID TOO! LOL

and totes, me too. And Garble is so right, engagements are practice marriages. In a way. Like, unless you live with that person, you can't get the whole effect, but it's pretty damn close.

'Starter' Marriages.

Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2007 6:10 am
by Angelique
Well, even if you live with a person, you may not get the full effect. I'd known of quite a lot of couples who lived together for years before getting married, then got divorced in months, because, as they said, "marriage changes people."

'Starter' Marriages.

Posted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 8:20 pm
by sovietxzion
I have to agree.. Marriage isn't for everbody and I learnt that the hard way. Got married after dating for six months and then i asked for a divorce on his birthday. Nice present eh? :yech

I've made a promise to myself that the next man i marry.. i will date him at least for 2 years before committing to anything like marriage.