Hey Marvel Put More Kurt Wagner in that Wagner
Posted: Mon Mar 10, 2014 8:18 pm
Here I am writing a story about Kurt Wagner's resurrection and damned if I can't find my way this huge murky problem, the big GIANT-SIZED problem...
LIFE iS HARD
If you look like Kurt - even though you can fly an airplane, pop the hood on a high tech whizakaboo and fix it without even knowing what it is - even though you can recite the Bible in two languages, perform all the liturgical offices of the the priesthood, and house a soulsword in the pure vessel of your living spirit - even though you can wield all things pointy and sharp with the deftness of the world's greatest fencing masters and swagger of the seven sea's most swashing bucklers...even though you've dated your sister, romanced an amazonian alien outlaw, swooned the hearts of every X-Vixen over 16 years old, rescued countless damsels from more dimensions, alien worlds and races than Captain Kirk - even though you have actually traversed Dante's Inferno and ascended through your one true sin absolved and immaculate as ever...even though you survived the writing of Chuck Austen - even though you can waltz, teleport, swing on a trapeze with a prehensile tail...even though you have single-handedly vanquished the last living spore island of Krakoa -
Even though this litany of astounding talent and feats is but the tiniest fraction of your amazing awesomeness...
LIFE is HARD
being a hero...a superhero is easy...for a somebody like you...the way you look...your tendencies to be, well, a little melodramatic...it's a solution to your biggest problem...and my biggest problem in writing your story
how do i keep you free of the X-Men or the whole big mess o' superherodom and actually have you in the world...having adventures...rescuing people in need (be that need physical, emotional or spiritual)
maybe this 'real' world isn't good enough for you - but i believe i can write one that is - but it's a big problem
because i know... i am sure... the today's Marvel Universe doesn't really deserve you - maybe they never really did, you misfit
where of where can a Kurt Wagner go?
ANYWHERE! The greater the odds the greater the fun... that's what i'm up against in this writing
I've Reed Richard'sed every possible scenario for Kurt in today's Marvel universe and they all come out phony...bad...no good - unless he goes it alone...that's all i see as a possible true and right scenario for the resurrected blue elf... he goes it alone... against all odds on and on... a real Swahbuckler in this modern age... and not too much other dimensional stuff... real time all the time
the regular world needs heroes too....heroes to help them out while the superhero teams fight each other in endless wars, civil disputes and what-have-you's - Kurt's power set is ideal for this...
immaculate heart, invincible joy, abounding faith, charisma, charm and ingeniousness galore
my vision is Kurt as:
a mercenary of good faith
a messenger of hope
a way out
a peace and accord
a free-agent
maybe he could date Black Cat - he should - at least for a few issues... right?
BUT THIS'LL nEvEr hAPPEN...no no no... not from Marvel...
they don't seem to be able to apply any Kurt Wagner to their Kurt Wagner... they need more Kurt Wagner in their Kurt Wagner
s'all i'm saying...
maybe i sorta solved my BIG problem by sharing this with you all
or did i just make a different BIG one?
LIFE iS HARD
If you look like Kurt - even though you can fly an airplane, pop the hood on a high tech whizakaboo and fix it without even knowing what it is - even though you can recite the Bible in two languages, perform all the liturgical offices of the the priesthood, and house a soulsword in the pure vessel of your living spirit - even though you can wield all things pointy and sharp with the deftness of the world's greatest fencing masters and swagger of the seven sea's most swashing bucklers...even though you've dated your sister, romanced an amazonian alien outlaw, swooned the hearts of every X-Vixen over 16 years old, rescued countless damsels from more dimensions, alien worlds and races than Captain Kirk - even though you have actually traversed Dante's Inferno and ascended through your one true sin absolved and immaculate as ever...even though you survived the writing of Chuck Austen - even though you can waltz, teleport, swing on a trapeze with a prehensile tail...even though you have single-handedly vanquished the last living spore island of Krakoa -
Even though this litany of astounding talent and feats is but the tiniest fraction of your amazing awesomeness...
LIFE is HARD
being a hero...a superhero is easy...for a somebody like you...the way you look...your tendencies to be, well, a little melodramatic...it's a solution to your biggest problem...and my biggest problem in writing your story
how do i keep you free of the X-Men or the whole big mess o' superherodom and actually have you in the world...having adventures...rescuing people in need (be that need physical, emotional or spiritual)
maybe this 'real' world isn't good enough for you - but i believe i can write one that is - but it's a big problem
because i know... i am sure... the today's Marvel Universe doesn't really deserve you - maybe they never really did, you misfit
where of where can a Kurt Wagner go?
ANYWHERE! The greater the odds the greater the fun... that's what i'm up against in this writing
I've Reed Richard'sed every possible scenario for Kurt in today's Marvel universe and they all come out phony...bad...no good - unless he goes it alone...that's all i see as a possible true and right scenario for the resurrected blue elf... he goes it alone... against all odds on and on... a real Swahbuckler in this modern age... and not too much other dimensional stuff... real time all the time
the regular world needs heroes too....heroes to help them out while the superhero teams fight each other in endless wars, civil disputes and what-have-you's - Kurt's power set is ideal for this...
immaculate heart, invincible joy, abounding faith, charisma, charm and ingeniousness galore
my vision is Kurt as:
a mercenary of good faith
a messenger of hope
a way out
a peace and accord
a free-agent
maybe he could date Black Cat - he should - at least for a few issues... right?
BUT THIS'LL nEvEr hAPPEN...no no no... not from Marvel...
they don't seem to be able to apply any Kurt Wagner to their Kurt Wagner... they need more Kurt Wagner in their Kurt Wagner
s'all i'm saying...
maybe i sorta solved my BIG problem by sharing this with you all
or did i just make a different BIG one?