Awesome quotes

german_gremlin · Post by **german_gremlin** » Mon Apr 14, 2008 3:38 am

Hey got an idea...I have found some good quotes from old and new t.v. shows and I wanna share. And you can 2!

Freakazoid: Please, please, leave me alone. I'll give you anything, anything you want, if you'll just go away. How about the just-written script of Batman IV?
Fan Boy: Plucked it off the internet last night.
Freakazoid: An autographed picture of Stan Lee?
Fan Boy: Who's that?
Freakazoid: No idea. How about your very own Harlan Ellison?

[Edited on 14/4/08 by german_gremlin]

Sunspot · Post by **Sunspot** » Mon Apr 14, 2008 3:53 am

I can't remember the exact lines, but it went something like this:

Waspinator: Why do you talk to yourself, Megatron?
Megatron: I enjoy having an intelligent conversation now and then.

Ult_Sm86 · Post by **Ult_Sm86** » Mon Apr 14, 2008 5:27 am

Arthur: You know, it's at times like this, when I'm trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space, that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young.
Ford: Why, what did she tell you?
Arthur: I don't know, I didn't listen.

Aaaaaand:

"Why on Golgafrincham should I want to do that?" he asked.
"To get information out of them, sir! To find out why they came here!"
"Oh no, no, no," said the Captain. "I expect they just dropped in for a quick jynnan tonnyx, don't you?"
"But they're my prisoners! I must interrogate them!"
The Captain looked at them doubtfully.
"Oh all right," he said, "if you must. Ask them what they want to drink."
A hard cold gleam came into Number Two's eyes. He advanced slowly on Ford Prefect and Arthur Dent.
"All right, you scum," he growled, "you vermin..." He jabbed Ford with the Kill-O-Zap gun.
"Steady on, Number Two," admonished the Captain gently.
"What do you want to drink?!!" Number Two screamed.
"Well the jynnan tonnyx sounds very nice to me," said Ford. "What about you, Arthur?"
Arthur blinked.
"What? Oh, er, yes," he said.
"With ice or without?!" bellowed Number Two.
Oh, with, please," said Ford.
"Lemon??!!"
"Yes, please," said Ford, "and do you have any of those little biscuits? You know, the cheesey ones?"
"I'm asking the questions!!!!" howled Number Two, his body shaking with apoplectic fury.
--Restaurant @ The End of the Universe

He picked up the letter Q and hurled it into a distant privet bush where it hit a young rabbit. The rabbit hurtled off in terror and didn't stop till it was set upon and eaten by a fox which choked on one of its bones and died on the bank of a stream which subsequently washed it away.
During the following weeks Ford Prefect swallowed his pride and struck up a relationship with a girl who had been a personnel officer on Golgafrincham, and he was terribly upset when she suddenly passed away as a result of drinking water from a pool that had been polluted by the body of a dead fox. The only moral it is possible to draw from this story is that one should never throw the letter Q into a privet bush.
--The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

Post by **JSherlock** » Mon Apr 14, 2008 6:18 am

Not a TV show but awesome all the same:

You decided to prepare today for an event that starts tonight? We in the Customer Service Industry have a saying for that: Bad planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on ours.

german_gremlin · Post by **german_gremlin** » Tue Apr 15, 2008 12:56 am

Billy: Why, Grim? Why do the good die young?
Grim: Well, usually because I get confused

Billy's Dad: My name's not Dad, its MO-GARR!!

Bamfing_Bob · Post by **Bamfing_Bob** » Sun Apr 20, 2008 9:58 pm

Cosmo: I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is, I find a nickel named Philip
Wanda: What's the bad news?
Cosmo: It's a girl nickel!

german_gremlin · Post by **german_gremlin** » Mon Apr 21, 2008 1:27 am

Holy crap!!! I love that quote.

Timmy: Anymore good news, nickle-boy?
Cosmo: My nickel!!!

GreenLanternGrl · Post by **GreenLanternGrl** » Mon Apr 21, 2008 8:06 am

Wanda: Two wrongs don't make a right.
Cosmo: But three rights make a left, and now it's time for the show!

Post by **Esynthia** » Mon Apr 21, 2008 4:37 pm

Originally posted by Bamfing_Bob
Cosmo: I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is, I find a nickel named Philip
Wanda: What's the bad news?
Cosmo: It's a girl nickel!

that is my all time *favorite* fairly oddparents quote.

Elfdame · Post by **Elfdame** » Mon Apr 21, 2008 8:06 pm

All I know is OLD tv (like me, ha ha), so here goes:

On "Get Smart," there was a running joke where one of them would say, "Don't tell me [whatever bad situation existed,]" and the other would say, [confirms bad situation] and Don Adams (Maxwell Smart) would say, "I asked you not to tell me that."

Guess you had to be there. But we used that line *all the time* in my family.

I'll add more if I think of any ... right now I'm migraining and probably should NOT be staring at a monitor......

german_gremlin · Post by **german_gremlin** » Mon Apr 21, 2008 8:22 pm

Cosmo: Hi, Timmy! Look, I'm a lawyer! (changes into a fireman) Now I'm a fireman! Whee!

Wreck-Gar: Kemosabes Rodimus and Ultra Magnus, you are in danger of being cancelled or losing your time slot.
Ultra Magnus: What did he say?
Rodimus Prime: We're gonna get killed.

Megatron: [charging into battle] SHOW NO MERCY!
Starscream: [sarcastically] Did we ever?

DÃƒÂ¤mon · Post by **DÃƒÂ¤mon** » Tue Apr 29, 2008 1:30 am

Originally posted by Bamfing_Bob
Cosmo: I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is, I find a nickel named Philip
Wanda: What's the bad news?
Cosmo: It's a girl nickel!

Oh my dear Lord I LOVE THIS QUOTE!!! I say it every time I find a nickel! (Sadly, no joke!):

german_gremlin · Post by **german_gremlin** » Wed Apr 30, 2008 3:06 am

"Hi. I'm Timmy. I have a short attention span and..." (he walks away) - Timmy Turner.

Ray: "Listen! You smell something?" (Ghostbusters uh..one er two..can't remember..crap.)

Post by **Esynthia** » Wed Apr 30, 2008 3:27 am

Originally posted by Elfdame
On "Get Smart," there was a running joke where one of them would say, "Don't tell me [whatever bad situation existed,]" and the other would say, [confirms bad situation] and Don Adams (Maxwell Smart) would say, "I asked you not to tell me that."

DUDE! I *LOVE* Get Smart! that used to be one of my fav tv shows!!! you know they're making a movie of it right?

also... I say that Cosmo thing when I find nickles too... or just randomly sometimes

Ult_Sm86 · Post by **Ult_Sm86** » Wed Jun 04, 2008 6:07 pm

Best Chapter in Any Book Ever:

The Total Perspective Vortex derives its picture of the whole Universe on the principle of extrapolated matter analyses.
To explain - since every piece of matter in the Universe is in some way affected by every other piece of matter in the Universe, it is in theory possible to extrapolate the whole of creation - every sun, every planet, their orbits, their composition and their economic and social history from, say, one small piece of fairy cake.
The man who invented the Total Perspective Vortex did so basically in order to annoy his wife.
Trin Tragula - for that was his name - was a dreamer, a thinker, a speculative philosopher or, as his wife would have it, an idiot.
And she would nag him incessantly about the utterly inordinate amount of time he spent staring out into space, or mulling over the mechanics of safety pins, or doing spectrographic analyses of pieces of fairy cake.
"Have some sense of proportion!" she would say, sometimes as often as thirty-eight times in a single day.
And so he built the Total Perspective Vortex - just to show her.
And into one end he plugged the whole of reality as extrapolated from a piece of fairy cake, and into the other end he plugged his wife: so that when he turned it on she saw in one instant the whole infinity of creation and herself in relation to it.
To Trin Tragula's horror, the shock completely annihilated her brain; but to his satisfaction he realized that he had proved conclusively that if life is going to exist in a Universe of this size, then the one thing it cannot afford to have is a sense of proportion.
The door of the Vortex swung open.
From his disembodied mind Gargravarr watched dejectedly. He had rather liked Zaphod Beeblebrox in a strange sort of way. He was clearly a man of many qualities, even if they were mostly bad ones.
He waited for him to flop forwards out of the box, as they all did.
Instead, he stepped out.
"Hi!" he said.
"Beeblebrox ..." gasped Gargravarr's mind in amazement.
"Could I have a drink please?" said Zaphod.
"You ... you ... have been in the Vortex?" stammered Gargravarr.
"You saw me, kid."
"And it was working?"
"Sure was."
"And you saw the whole infinity of creation?"
"Sure. Really neat place, you know that?"
Gargravarr's mind was reeling in astonishment. Had his body been with him it would have sat down heavily with its mouth hanging open.
"And you saw yourself," said Gargravarr, "in relation to it all?"
"Oh, yeah, yeah."
"But ... what did you experience?"
Zaphod shrugged smugly.
"It just told me what I knew all the time. I'm a really terrific and great guy. Didn't I tell you, baby, I'm Zaphod Beeblebrox!"
His gaze passed over the machinery which powered the vortex and suddenly stopped, startled.
He breathed heavily.
"Hey," he said, "is that really a piece of fairy cake?"
He ripped the small piece of confectionery from the sensors with which it was surrounded.
"If I told you how much I needed this," he said ravenously, "I wouldn't have time to eat it."
He ate it.

Elfdame · Post by **Elfdame** » Wed Jun 04, 2008 11:36 pm

A "Get Smart" movie? Details! They did one or two when the original cast were alive, but I am out of touch with modern culture so I have no idea who'd be cast.

Although I think Drew Barrymore would make a yummy "99."

But, so's I can keep this relatively on topic, great quote from Terry Pratchett [Discworld Series, _Witches Abroad_ p. 236 of the HarperCollins paperback]:
"It is a universal fact that any innocent comment made by any recently married young member of any work-force is and instant trigger for coarse merriment among his or her older and more cynical colleagues. This happens even if everyone concerned has nine legs and lives at the bottom of an ocean of ammonia on a huge cold planet. It's just one of those things."

or [from p. 108 of the same]:"The horrible dumpy one whose stomach had the resiliance and capacity of a galvanized water tank..." (I swear he doesn't know me, but it's a perfect description of yours truly.)