Summer 2007: Wagner

[NachtcGleiskette]

Post yoru summer fun here!!

[Edited on 21/2/07 by NachtcGleiskette]

[Saint Kurt]

This is probably premature, but... it actually exists now so I'm posting it.

Wagner has just never seemed like the mySpace type, but I always intended him to have a blog at some point. Blogger has changed their software so that it is even more difficult to go in and edit the HTML. (Which means that it would be probably more "Kurt-friendly" now but is less "me-friendly". Let's have 3 cheers for realism. )

So with much actual cursing and using of their obtuse interface, I have created this:

http://fatherkurtw.blogspot.com/

Yay.

-e

[Saint Kurt]

The Palmer Residence in Arizona

[Christine] Christine took another look out the window for an approaching car. Nothing as of yet. Ok.

[Christine] This was so...awkward. She'd never expect Kurt to come to her home like this, but she couldn't turn him away. She understood he needed help...and, well, it wasn't as if she couldn't help him. In ways, she owed him.

[Christine] Though, thank God she'd gotten TJ and John out of the house. They'd have never been able to have a peaceful conversation with either of them around, John especially.

[Christine] It was lucky her brother had needed help so she could send John off there, and it wasn;t terribly difficult getting TJ out of the house...it was more difficult keeping her in. Hopefully she'd be with Mel for the next few hours.

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt got out of the cab and brushed his hair back. God it was hot. And dry. Was this "dry heat"? It was just as hot as regular heat.

[Fr.Wagner] He pulled the tabs from his collar so he could open it and then unbuttoned his cuff links and rolled up his sleeves as he looked around. He'd always considered Los Angeles to be a desert, but this... This was the desert for real.

[Fr.Wagner] And it was also where Christine lived. And where Talia had grown up. He paid the taxi driver and stood across from the low desert style ranch house. Weird. He'd had a ranch house too...

[Fr.Wagner] It was too late to back out now. Kurt went to the door and knocked.

[Christine] Christine pulled the door open, giving a smile to the man standing on her stoop. "Kurt, it's good to see you!" she gave him a hug then backed off. "Please, come in."

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt returned the hug with his eyes shut. After a month of Hazelden, was just nice to be outside again, even if he was melting. He hesitated a moment before stepping into the living room so Christine could close the door.

[Fr.Wagner] As much as there was to see in the cramped room, Kurt noticed the temperature first. It was cool in here. Arizona was not a good place to have to wear all black. Finally he opened his eyes again. So many photos! Where those all of TJ?

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt looked back at Christine. "Wow," he said. "I... Thanks so much for having me. This is amazing."

[Christine] "Of course, don't even worry about it," she told him with a smile. "Amazing? I don't know about that. Comfortable yes.."

[Fr.Wagner] "True, I don't know how you do it out here. I don't know if I could ever get used to this heat..." Kurt looked around again.

[Fr.Wagner] "I swear I had almost the same house when I lived in Los Angeles... Except it wasn't quite this nicely decorated," Kurt admitted. He gave Christine a small smile. "And I see were the only one's here. Smart..."

[Christine] She laughed. "Yeah, well...you wanted to talk and I figured the best way todo that was without any..distractions."

[Christine] "And as much as I love them, John and Talia like to make themselves distractions."

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt had to laugh. "Yeah. I guess I know all about distractions," he said.

[Fr.Wagner] "Christine... Liebe... I just... The more I thought about it, the more I realized I owed you an apology." Kurt said. "And I didn't want to put it on the phone or in a letter. So, I was..." he ran his hand through his hair, " on the way to Germany and I thought I'd stop here."

[Fr.Wagner] He smiled hopefully - that that didn't sound too ridiculous since Germany was in the exact opposite direction as Arizona. This little trip would cost him two more stop overs and nearly seven extra hours of flying. But it didn't matter. This was more important.

[Christine] She paused a second. "Well, I didn't think Arizona was exactly on the way to Germany..."

[Christine] She moved to the kitchen. "Do you want anything to eat? Or drink? Are you hungry?"

[Fr.Wagner] "It's on the way if United Airlines and Lufthansa say it is," Kurt said, chancing another smile.

[Fr.Wagner] "I wouldn't mind a glass of water," Kurt said.

[Christine] She filled a glass for him and one for herself before sitting at the kitchen table, and placing his glass at the seat across from her.

[Christine] "Come sit down," she invited, when he didn't move from his spot.

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt followed her in to the Palmer's tiny but well lived in Kitchen. It smelled like they actually cooked in here. Kurt sat down and hesitated before downing half the glass. The ride in the cab down, with the windows open, had been nice, but it had also been like being sandblasted alive.

[Fr.Wagner] "Thanks," he said. "So... I... There's so much to say I don't even know where to start."

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt traced the ring of water left by the glass with his finger to avoid looking at Christine or at this amazing place she'd created for Talia to grow up. All the things he couldn't have done.

[Christine] "I'm not exactly sure if there's anything I can say to make it easier...Maybe, start with why you've come all this way to apologise to me?"

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt looked up. Everything seemed so intense since he'd left Hazelden - sounds, smells, colors, people... He felt almost swallowed up by this place. It was such a home. And he so didn't belong in it.

[Fr.Wagner] "Well, I guess I could go backwards," Kurt said. Maybe that would be easiest. He took a deep breath. "When you first came to the school, last fall, I told you I would always look after TJ. That I'd keep her safe."

[Fr.Wagner] "And," Kurt said, shaking his head, "I didn't. I tried, but I couldn't. So I broke my promise to you."

[Christine] She sat up giving him an odd look. "Why would you say that? TJ's fine...do you mean her arm? She fell, you couldn't have prevented that."

[Christine] "Kids get hurt, it's what happens. Don't blame yourself for that, Kurt."

[Fr.Wagner] Fell? Kurt was silent a moment and stared into his glass of water. Christine didn't know what happened... With Jono, or Remy. Or with the other students. But that was okay, because to be honest, neither did he really.

[Fr.Wagner] "Oh, I know..." Kurt said, "It's more complicated, because I also promised TJ things. Stupid things like ... don't tell my mother I stayed out late on a school night or... that there was a boy she liked." Kurt flicked his eyes down at the table and then looked back at Christine.

[Fr.Wagner] "So, in the end I was ... stuck, hiding things from the both of you about each other, when I probably shouldn't have. And for selfish reasons... I'm sorry."

[Christine] She scoffed. "Kurt, please, it's nothing to apologise for."

[Christine] She raised a brow at him. "You think I don't know whats going on with my daughter? I'm alot wiser to her than she thinks. I know what goes on when she's at her friends house, I know about the smoking. I know about what's going on between her and Remy."

[Christine] "And I'm not so naive to think she's not skipping classes here and there, or drinking or smoking while at school. I trust and hope to God she's being safe about it...but I know it's happening. I also know she's in a safe place though."

[Christine] She placed her hand over Kurt's. "So don't feel bad for not telling me. Trust me, I know what's happening. And you are trying to win her trust. I understand that."

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt turned his hands around so he was gently holding Christine's and shook his head. "No," Kurt said. "I lied to both of you so that I could drink at the school without anyone knowing."

[Fr.Wagner] "I didn't want you to know and so it was easier to just say everything was fine than to actually talk about what was happening. I should have told you. And I shouldn't have hidden things about your daughter from you - because that's not what you asked me to do."

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt squeezed Christine's hands before letting go. "So I do feel bad. It's apology number one."

[Christine] She smiled at him, squeezing his hand back. She wasn't aware he'd taken up drinking again. "Apology accepted then."

[Christine] "Have you..sought any help with the drinking?"

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt nodded. "I don't know if I sought help or if help sought me... But yeah. I'm okay now. I always thought it was just because I was young and stupid... I guess I'm wrong."

[Fr.Wagner] "I should have told you, but I just didn't want to hear 'not again!' from another person... When we parted I was supposed to go off and be ... good." Kurt said.

[Christine] "You wouldn't hear that from me," she took a sip of water. "You've done fine. You had a relapse, it's not the end of the world. And you seem to be doing well now. Which I'm very happy for."

[Christine] "So, that's apology number one? What else is there then?"

[Fr.Wagner] "I've only been out of rehab for ..." Kurt looked at his watch, " six hours, give or take. I can never do the time zones. I haven't had much time or opportunity to mess things up yet."

[Fr.Wagner] "But I..." This was the hard part. "I've always felt bad about the way I left for Germany and the way you left to come here. We... we should have talked. I should have told you where I was going. I can't believe how stubborn I was..."

[Christine] "Its.." she trailed off. "We should have talked, we should have done something. But, we were both young and thought we were doing the best thing for each other..."

[Christine] She laid her forhead on her palm. "Or...at least, I did...it was stupid. But...it was..I don't know. It worked out in the end I suppose.."

[Christine] "You do have a stubborn streak in you...only can be rivaled by TJs..."

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt laughed. "I realized that... In... In Hazelden, where I was, before I came here. I'd only be there a few days and someone asked me to do something and I got so unbelievably mad. I wanted to throw chairs across the room..."

[Fr.Wagner] "And then I thought this is the kind Scheisse that TJ used to pull at school! And for a second I was even more angry and then I started laughing ... And probably that's when people thought "the priest is insane"."

[Fr.Wagner] "But... That's exactly... I should have been here for both of you. I feel terrible about it," Kurt said.

[Christine] Christine raised a brow at Kurt's swear, but squeezed his hand again. "You can still be there for us. It's about moving forward now, you made a mistake and you regret it and I can see that. So, let's move forward."

[Christine] Sitting back she gave him another smile. "It's been a while since Talia's thrown anything...but you can't imagine the tantrums she threw when she was a kid."

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt shut his eyes. "Actually, I can... Like with protest signs and everything." He said. "And of course there was me as a kid, but I could never really get seriously wound up before I'd find myself in church in front of a priest. My mother was sure I'd be possessed at any second I think."

[Fr.Wagner] "I did get very very good at the passive aggressive tail swipe to the crockery though," Kurt smiled. "That's a "rehab word" I learned: Passive-aggressive. They don't teach it to you in seminary..."

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt paused, wondering if he was being too silly, or too personal, or too silly about his personal life.

[Fr.Wagner] Then again Christine was the one person he'd always felt comfortable talking to, about anything. She'd never judged him or made fun of him when he screwed up and said things in German by accident. She'd been his best friend and his lover as strange as it was to imagine now.

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt looked around again, still taking in Christine Palmer and her family crammed into every available inch of this house. It was wonderful. "I wish... I wish I could just sit here and you could tell me about everything I missed. Even the tantrums..." Kurt said.

[Christine] Christine sighed, and put a smile on. "You'd regret that if I even started," she joked a bit awkwardly. "Is there...anything you want to know? Specifically? I wouldn't mind sharing anything."

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt shook his head. "No. I wouldn't. I mean..." Kurt looked down at the table for a moment. "God, Christine... I can't explain it to you how it was that I felt when I saw TJ walk through those doors."

[Fr.Wagner] "I always thought I was ... You know, ugly," Kurt said, pointing to his chest. "But TJ... She looked like you and like me and ... she wasn't ugly. She's beautiful. Is that ... Is that what you thought too? When you first saw her? Not... Not that she looked like me?"

[Christine] "That she was beautiful?? God, Kurt, the first time I saw her..she was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.."

[Christine] "She looked a lot like you, all the obvious things. But none of that mattered in the least. She was the most gorgeous baby...I felt so lucky," she bit her lip a bit. "And...I really have you to thank for that."

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt nodded. "I wrote you letters, from when I was in seminary. I didn't think I could have children because..." He paused chewing his lip. "Because I was like this. So I wrote you, about how that was a good thing. I was wrong. I was so wrong."

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt smoothed his hair back with his hands. "I saved them, and all the pictures of us, and... That map to our "time capsule" thing in the tree! Remember that? But they were burned up in the fire in Italy. Maybe it's just as well..."

[Fr.Wagner] "I wrote letters to you all through seminary," Kurt laughed. "I don't know whether to apologise for writing them or for never sending them."

[Christine] Christine laughed at him. "Do you really think that time capsule is still there?" Jesus, she was so young...she hadn't thought about most of this in years.

[Christine] She sobered and looked to him. "Don't apologise. None of that's important now, Kurt. We're both at different stages in our lives now than we were then...we've grown up. We don't need to dwell on mistakes we've made in the past, just look to making it better in the future."

[Fr.Wagner] "I don't know. I hope it still is," Kurt said. He laughed. "Remember how I couldn't figure it out what you were talking about at first? Like how I thought you were going launch it into space or something?"

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt put his hands over his face, still laughing. "I was so dumb..."

[Fr.Wagner] He straightened and looked around again. "It wasn't a mistake for TJ to grow up here," he said.

[Christine] She laughed again. "I couldn't understand what was so hard for you to understanc about it! Oh, that was a frustrating conversation..."

[Christine] "No...this was the right decision for Talia.." she told him. "It's why I made it...but I should have told you."

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt got up and looked around the kitchen, at the family pictures tacked to the wall by the phone, out into the living room where there were even more pictures. He rested his head against the wall. "If you'd told me I would have come," Kurt said.

[Fr.Wagner] "And if I'd come? Then what?"

[Christine] She shrugged, a bit off put by the turn in conversation. "I suppose, we'd have gotten married? Or at the very least lived together...raised Talia together.."

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt shook his head and then stopped. "I mean yes. I would have wanted to get married and we would have had a daughter, but..."

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt sat back down and took up Christine's hands as she had done with his before. "I would not have been a good man. For either of you."

[Christine] "Kurt, I don't know about that.."

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt closed his eyes and nodded his head. "I didn't know anything about being a husband or a father. And isolated like this... I... Chistine - Leibe, it would have been a disaster."

[Fr.Wagner] "Remember how you met me? Reading all the time in that bookstore that I never seemed to leave? It was only because the bookstore was down the street from the bar and as it was I had to go around the block to get there so I didn't walk past the bar."

[Fr.Wagner] "I wasn't really good with ... temptations. And out here, what else is there?" Kurt wiped his eyes. He'd promised himself he wouldn't cry. Grown men were not supposed to cry this much.

[Christine] She wasn't sure what to say to him. Part of her wanted to be defensive. Was a wife and daughter not enough? But she stopped herself. He had no idea what being a husband or father even meant. And here, he had come all this way.

[Christine] She sighed. "Then it worked out, didn't it? I met John, he wanted to be a father and he's been a wonderful father to Talia. And a wonderful husband."

[Fr.Wagner] "It's not about you or TJ," Kurt implored, "I wouldn't have known what to do. There is no 'around the block' in the desert and you and TJ would have had work and school... "

[Fr.Wagner] He could see the look on Christine's face and knew what it meant. "I would have given everything to you and to her and then... There would have been times where it was just me, and I was alone and ..." Kurt shut his eyes. "And I would have made the wrong choices," he said looking up.

[Fr.Wagner] "I would have hurt you and TJ, because I have a problem that doesn't go away. God... If I'd done that... I could never forgive myself. Do you understand?"

[Christine] She nodded, looking away from him for a moment. "Being a parent...it changes you Kurt. The first time you see your child, you just..fall in love. And..your priorities change. Things that were so important aren't anymore.."

[Christine] "And watching this little person that you created grow and learn and see everything for the first time...it's amazing."

[Christine] She sighed. "I don't know what kind of father or husband you would have been Kurt. And I'm not sure any of that matters at this point. Because everything worked out well, didn't it?"

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt shut his eyes and smiled, picturing Christine's words. Then he opened them and looked straight into hers.

[Fr.Wagner] "It's more than things 'working out' I believe. It's more like we all got exactly what we needed, even if we didn't know it at the time. You needed a man who could give you his heart completely and unconditionally and you found him."

[Fr.Wagner] "You had a daughter, a most special child who needed a father and that man gave his heart to her too. If I'd stood in the way, none of that would have happened and it's so important that they did."

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt paused. "And I fell in love too. Just in a different way. Because that's what I needed. If I had been here that wouldn't have happened either. I regret that I didn't see TJ grow up, but it's a sacrifice I would make again because it meant that you were both loved and cared for."

[Fr.Wagner] "That's what really matters to me," Kurt said.

[Christine] Christine smiled at Kurt. "Talia had a wonderful life. And so did I. I love my family very much, and I care a lot about you too Kurt."

[Christine] "You're right though. It turns out our 'mistakes' really were for the best then."

[Fr.Wagner] "Maybe we should stop calling them mistakes then," Kurt said.

[Fr.Wagner] "I've had a good life too. And now you and TJ are in it, even just a little bit and that's ... amazing." Kurt leaned down and dug into his briefcase a moment to pull out one of his business cards.

[Fr.Wagner] "I'm going to be re-assigned so this is all going to change, but the main number to the Vatican switchboard will still find me. If you or TJ ever needs anything - just call."

[Christine] She took the card, looking it over before returning her gaze to him. "Thank you Kurt. I'll be sure to keep in touch."

[Fr.Wagner] "I have the opportunity to be there for you. I want to do it right this time," Kurt said smiling.

[Fr.Wagner] He looked up at the clock. "I have to find a way back to the airport at some point. I have a plane to catch in a few hours. I might be kind of hard to reach for the next month or so. I'm going to be living at a monastery they tell me."

[Talia] TJ pushed a bit hard on the front door, slamming it open as she stumbled into the house. She could see her mother sitting at the table with someone.. "Hey Mom, who.." Wagner?! What on the fucking planet was Wagner doing in her house? Jesus Christ!

[Christine] Christine sat up at the slam and watched her daughter make her way in rather aggressively. "Talia! Be careful, watch your arm!"

[Talia] She ignored her Mom's statement, staring at Wagner. "Why's he here??"

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt stood up and turned around the commotion. Talia was standing in the doorway glaring daggers at him.

[Fr.Wagner] "It's okay, he's leaving," Kurt said.

[Christine] "He just came out for a visit sweetie," Christine told her.

[Talia] TJ moved past him to the refrigerator, pulling out a carton of ice cream. "Where's Dad??"

[Fr.Wagner] "I ... uh... I just wanted to talk to you mom for a little while. I'm on my way back to Germany," Kurt said. He had no idea what to do. He still needed to call a taxi to get back to the airport.

[Fr.Wagner] "So, um... Are there taxis out here or... A bus?" Kurt asked.

[Christine] "Oh, yes, Kurt, I'll call you a cab. It'll be a little bit though," she grabbed the phone off the wall and dialed.

[Talia] TJ rolled her eyes, grasping her bowl of ice cream and a handful of cookies and settled onto the couch, turning the TV on.

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt leaned against the counter, looking into the livingroom. "I guess it will make you happy to know then that I won't be teaching any classes next year at your school..." Kurt said to TJ's back.

[Fr.Wagner] He turned back to Christine. "I can wait outside if you want," he said. He was a dark guy wearing black clothes. He'd melt out there, but he was already starting to melt in here.

[Fr.Wagner] The room smelled completely like marijuana smoke now. Christine was right, how could she not notice? Kurt frowned.

[Christine] "Don't be silly Kurt. Have a seat. The cab'll be here in a a little less than an hour."

[Talia] TJ shrugged at him. He won't be back? Awesome.

[Talia] "K"

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt retreated back to the kitchen. A cab in a little less than an hour? Where the hell were they?

[Fr.Wagner] "Okay," he sat down, folding his hands on the table. That was a long time...

[Fr.Wagner] He could have talked to Christine about silly things like their time capsule and the book store and how he used to come get her at the hospital after her shift when it was raining so he could teleport her to her car... Now they couldn't.

[Fr.Wagner] "Thanks for having me," he said. "This was really nice. You should visit Rome sometime. I mean... the whole family should..."

[Christine] "That would be really nice. I've never been to Italy. Maybe one day.."
[Talia] "Mom, what's for dinner??"

[Christine] Christine sighed looking at the clock. "It's barely one o'clock Talia. I haven't really thought about it."

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt looked at the clock too. He had plenty of time, but once he did board his plane, he was going to be flying for 17 hours.

[Fr.Wagner] Finally he took out his fountain pen and a piece of paper and wrote: "This is really awkward. What should I do?" and slid it across the table at Christine.

[Christine] Christine read his note and closed her eyes. How the hell did she know? She bit her lip. "Talia, turn off the TV and come sit with us. We have company."

[Talia] TJ gave her mother a look. "I really wanna watch this."

[Christine] "And I really want you to turn it off. Kurt came a long way, please just come sit."

[Talia] She could recognise her mothers tone, and was ready to storm out. Like hell she's going to sit with Wagner and make nice.

[Talia] However...she DID want her parents to let her go to see Remy in New Orleans this summer. Could she bite the bullet and spend an hour with Wagner for the chance to spend a week with Remy?

[Talia] Sighing, she flicked the TV off and moved to the table, collapsing angrily into a chair with a huff. She crossed her arms.

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt frowned. That wasn't what he wanted. He had been hoping Christine would whisper something like "Quickly! Teleport to the moon and await your cab there. I'll phone in the directions." That would have been a little easier.

[Fr.Wagner] Then again... He had had audiences with the Pope. So surely he could sit in the same room as Talia Palmer.

[Fr.Wagner] Of course there were all sorts of diplomatic protocols with the Pope that prevented him from screwing those audiences up. If TJ had her own personal diplomatic protocols... Kurt had never been able to figure them out.

[Fr.Wagner] Unless... No, he just couldn't see himself slouching in a chair. speaking in a drawl, and asking if she wanted to share a cigarette. He'd have to go with plan B.

[Fr.Wagner] "Are you having a good summer," Kurt asked cautiously.

[Talia] TJ shrugged. "It's ok."

[Christine] Christine cleared her throat. "Sweetie, why not tell him a bit about it? You're birthday passed just a few weeks ago and all that."

[Talia] She glared at her mother, but relented. "Yeah, and Remy came to visit. It was fun."

[Fr.Wagner] "Oh, that's good. I'm glad Remy could come out and visit," Kurt said. "Where's he staying this summer? I kind of lost track of where everyone was when I went into rehab."

[Talia] Rehab? Wagner was a druggie now?? Weird...

[Talia] "He's in New Orleans with his Uncle. Doing school stuff," she told him.

[Christine] "It was nice of him to come visit for her birthday. It's just so hard to believe she's 19 already!"

[Talia] TJ rolled her eyes. "Mom!"

[Fr.Wagner] Seriously? Well, that was good. Remy didn't have a highschool diploma and without it, in the US, he wouldn't have been eligible to receive anything from the college without it. If he was working on that, that would be something indeed.

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt shrugged. "Nineteen is good. I had," he thought for a moment, "I didn't have very many worries at all when I was 19. It's a good year."

[Fr.Wagner] "I didn't get you anything," he added.

[Talia] TJ shrugged and sunk lower in her seat.

[Christine] "Well, that's not a big deal. You came to visit, and that's more than enough." She checked the clock. Ok, they had a half hour.

[Fr.Wagner] "Maybe you could give me the nickel tour?" Kurt asked, "I mean I've never been to a reservation like this. I just saw a little bit as we drove in."

[Fr.Wagner] "I'd like to see where you guys live. This is my first time to a real desert."

[Christine] Christine stood. "Of course! Talia, would you like to come??"

[Talia] She shook her head, standing to grab more cookies and moving back to the couch.

[Talia] "Well, I guess it's just us then. I'll show you around," she gestured for Kurt to follow her out the door.

[Christine] "Well, I guess it's just us then. I'll show you around," she gestured for Kurt to follow her out the door.

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt got up quickly and followed Christine and stopped on the threshold to look back into the cool dark interior one last time. The television was already on and TJ was again a black head of hair with her back to him. He could only just see the two tips of her ears that were his legacy.

[Fr.Wagner] "Bye TJ. Have a good year next year," he said. "Say 'bonjour' to Remy for me."

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt stepped back out into the heat and sunlight.

[Talia] TJ lethargically lifted a hand in response to the goodbye, and sighed as he left. Finally.

[Talia] She chowed on some cookies, trying to get comfortable, but it was so weird. Why had he come here? Why can't he just leave her alone? He doesn't even like her.

[Talia] She shifted again, digging her cell phone out of her pocket. She hoped Jean Luc wasn't keeping Remy TOO busy. maybe he'd have a second to talk to her about this crap.

[Saint Kurt]

Well here we go again. You've found yourself a friend that knows you well.
But no matter what you do. You'll always feel as though you tripped and fell.

So steady as she goes ?
Steady as she goes

Rome: Vatican Offices – Basement

Kurt turned around in his chair at the sound of a rap on the side of his doorframe.

"Guten Tag! Benedict!" He hadn't seen Benedict since they'd parted company in the U.S.

"I heard you were back," Benedict said.

"Yeah, I came to visit when I got back, but you were gone," Kurt said.

Benedict leaned against Kurt's doorframe and nodded. "It's ironic, because I was in Germany," he said.

"I heard," Kurt said. "Assistant to the Papal Nuncio of Germany. That sounds important."

Benedict laughed. "God, I hope not," he said. He glanced at Kurt's computer screen. "What are you doing?"

Kurt backed up against it. "I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you," he said.

"I gave all that cloak and dagger crap when I entered the priesthood," Benedict said with a grin. "Seriously. What do they have you doing?"

"Archivist," Kurt said gesturing around his office, which Benedict had just realized was stacked with numbered document boxes. "For the Vatican Secret Archives."

"No. Really?" Benedict asked, looking slightly astonished.

Kurt shrugged. "Really. There's a whole floor of us down here."

"You get all the cool jobs. What is that you are doing? Or is it really … secret?"

Kurt shook his head. "It's not," he said. "Last year, when the pope released all the Pius XI archives regarding World War II, they weren't fully cataloged. Now they're racing to catch up with the demand. None of this is secret actually."

"Hmmm." Benedict looked around again. "So what's all this?"

"They're the documents," Kurt said. "The catalog is just numbered boxes which is useless to anyone outside the Vatican. It's useless to anyone inside the Vatican too I think. And most of the documents are in German, so I read them, write abstracts in Italian, English, French, and German and then send them on to be scanned and entered into the database." Kurt opened one of the boxes and handed a sheet of yellowing paper with faded typing and a few scrawled signatures on it to Benedict. "See," he said.

Benedict looked at it; it seemed so fragile; a piece of history he could hold in his hands. "Wow. Big job," he said.

"That piece of paper is older than I am," Kurt said.

"That means it still might be younger than me," Benedict said as he handed it back.

"And it's not really that big," Kurt admitted. "You must not have read it." Kurt held the document up for Benedict up to see again and watched his friend lean in to squint at the faded print.

"Please be advised that the Papal Nuncio will return to Munich on Thursday to discuss the aforementioned matter. Thank you. Monsignor Ernesto Angeli. October 7, 1939." Benedict recited. He paused thoughtfully. "Hey, I write things like that now all the time," he said cheerfully. "What was the 'aforementioned matter'?"

"I have no idea," Kurt said. "And more importantly, how do you summarize something like that?"

"I'll have to take the tip from Monsignor Angeli there and try not to be so cryptic," Benedict said, "just in case I become important."

"And some poor bastard has to summarize all your past documents?" Kurt finished.

"That's not quite how I meant it," Benedict said.

"But it's true," Kurt said, gesturing at all the boxes. "At last, they've finally figured out a way to insure that I'll never see daylight."

"I don't know about that, Kurt. With your skills it seems like the perfect job. And think about the service you're doing to the church by disambiguating its involvement in the Holocaust and World War II. It sounds like a great position for you," Benedict said.

"I guess," Kurt said. "Sometimes I get something interesting. What about you?"

"I like it," Benedict said. "It's a lot of diplomatic work. It's much different from what we were doing before but… what wouldn't be? Oh, before I forget, this found its way to my desk." Benedict pulled an envelope out of the inside pocket of his black suit jacket and handed it to Kurt.

"Apparently it made the rounds for a bit," Benedict said, "But it eventually ended up with me."

The envelope was already opened so Kurt slid the letter out and unfolded it curiously. It was a letter to his Bishop from the Church of the Immaculate Conception, one of the churches in New York where he had occasionally assisted by celebrating weekday masses so their priests could go on retreat at various times. He'd had permission to celebrate masses in English at a few of the local Catholic churches there and he'd enjoyed going in and being a substitute parish priest, even if it had made his busy schedule even more hectic.

"What is this?" Kurt asked without reading.

"Read it," Benedict said.

Kurt looked down at the letter and frowned at first, then a small smile twitched at the corners of his lips. "Can churches do this?" he asked.

"They can ask" Benedict said. "It's up to the Diocese to make the assignments. It would be pretty irregular."

Kurt read the letter again. The Church of the Immaculate Conception was going to lose one of their priests to a year long sabbatical and retreat next year. They were wondering if Rev. Kurt Wagner would be remaining in New York and if he was, was it possible for him to hold a part time position in their parish as an Assistant Pastor. They had received many favorable responses from daily mass goers and would enjoy having him as a more regular contributor to their parish community.

"It's in New York," Kurt said.

"Yeah. I thought you'd like to see it though," Benedict said.

Kurt nodded, still looking at the letter. "What if I'd gone back to teach? What then? Could I have?" He asked. Kurt had been tracked out of the possibility of parish priesthood while he was still in seminary. Even he had understood at the time that a priest with his appearance would have been way too radical, but what about now? His life as a secretary and diplomat had been in service and he had been happy, but it was a compromise. The priests he had known growing up, they had been parish priests. That was what he had wanted to be. Now that the idea that it was possible existed, Kurt couldn't just leave it alone.

"Well… I don't know," Benedict said. "It would have all depended I guess. Why?"

"I don't know. I…"

Benedict shook his head. "This is a good assignment Kurt. You'll do really well at this and you can …" All of a sudden the fact that they hadn't spoken since the insane shouting match they'd had when Benedict had brought Kurt to Hazelden seemed a poor foundation for this conversation. He hadn't anticipated that Kurt would want to drink again after what he'd just been through, but once he'd been discharged, Kurt had insisted he was afraid to fly without stopping in the airport's bar first. Realizing that there was no way he was going to stop Kurt from going anywhere he wanted Benedict hadn't even bothered, no matter how ridiculous it seemed. By the time they had arrived in Minnesota, nothing Kurt was saying really made sense anymore. Some of the things he had said… Benedict had just prayed nobody there spoke German.

Kurt nodded as he handed the letter back. "I suppose you're right," he said. He looked around at his boxes. "I'm better off down here," he said.

Benedict looked from the letter to Kurt and was silent for a long time. "If you're serious…" He began and then stopped, waiting for Kurt's reaction. Something in the way Kurt's whole posture changed, the way his eyes seemed almost to glow brighter told him to continue. "If you're serious Kurt, I can find out…" Benedict began.

"No, Benedict, it's… You've done so much…"

Benedict stopped him. "If this is something you want, if this is what you seriously want, I can see what I can do," Benedict said. He frowned. "But… But make sure Kurt because… Because if it's not, I don't know if I can come back for you again. That was…" Benedict didn't finish.

"I'm sorry," Kurt said quickly.

"No, you don't have to apologize Kurt."

"Yes, I do."

Benedict shook his head. "No. It's my shortcoming to say that if it happens again, I can't go back. I can't see my friend like that again."

Kurt shut his eyes and was silent for a long time. "I understand," he said at last. "Write them back. Thank them for considering me. Thank you for showing that to me. You're right. This is a good assignment."

"I don't even know if it's possible Kurt," Benedict said.

"It's alright," Kurt said.

"No, wait. If you're really serious about it, I can try and talk to your Bishop, because all your paperwork was done for the U.S. wasn't it?" Benedict said.

Kurt nodded. "In order to teach," he said.

Benedict sighed. "I can't promise anything."

"I know," Kurt said.

"I don't even know if it's a good idea," Benedict added.

"I… I always wanted to be a parish priest," Kurt said at last. "But…"

Benedict held up his hand. "Right now it's just an idea Kurt. I'll see what I can do. Okay?"

Kurt looked around at his boxes of documents, most of which hadn't been opened in over forty years. "Okay," he said and for the first time since he'd been sent down to that musty basement full of crumbling pages and ancient secrets, he smiled.

[Edited on 26/12/0606 by Saint Kurt]

[JSherlock]

Damnit why does KURT get MY dream job?! You couldn't get me out of that room unless I was dead and even then I'd cling to the doorframe with my cold hand.

Well done Em! Dangle that bone in front of him.

Afterthought: Not that I want to neccesarily work for the Vatican going through WWII documents but more like handling the old papers and stuff and archiving/restoring/filing them away in a museum or old library.

[littlebamf]

Lizzie emails Wagner

Dear Padre,

I hope this email address still works, as I have no idea how else I’d be able to write to you else, and I felt I should, really, after everything.

I’m spending the summer with my elder brother and Warren. He’s getting better, now, he’s finally going to give up drinking and I believe him this time, he promised me he would, so that’s good and I know you’ll be glad to hear it as well after all the help you tried to give us back in school.

I heard about how you went into rehab, and I just wanted to say I’m sorry for how things worked out, but I’m glad to hear things seemed to turn out alright and that you’re better than you were before.

I’m also sorry for the way I behaved before you left, but there was a lot happening at the time and there was little I could do for myself, let alone my teacher. I was worried about my friends and I had a lot to sort out in my own life, and in many ways I still do, but things are better than they have been.

Also, I wanted to thank you for being a good teacher, because you were.

Lizzie

[Edited on 26-12-06 by littlebamf]

[Saint Kurt]

Father Wagner's Apartment: Rome, Italy

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt's hands were shaking as he dialed his phone. He couldn't believe what he'd just done. Was he seriously this stupid? He listened to it ringing and and hung it up. He'd dialed it wrong, he must have.

[Fr.Wagner] Father Patrick, who'd come all the way from Vancouver to Minnesota to meet him at Hazelden was his sponsor now. Kurt frowned and dialed the phone again. This was what he was supposed to do.

[Fr.Wagner] He'd screwed up. He was supposed to call his sponsor even though he had no idea what time it was in Canada. And Patrick (why did priests go by their first names in America?)... Patrick was supposed to talk to him; tell him he wasn't a hopeless idiot even though it was obvious he was.

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt shut his eyes and listened to the phone ringing half hoping no one would answer.

[Fr.Patrick] * Fr.Patrick nodded as the phone rang again. Good; there was only one person that could have been, and he needed someone to talk to.

[Fr.Patrick] He glanced at the caller ID for confirmation, then picked up the receiver. "Kurt?"

[Fr.Wagner] "It's... It's Kurt." Kurt had blurted it out before he realized that Patrick had said his name already.

[Fr.Wagner] "I… Ich habe… Or, I…" Kurt suddenly realized he hadn't spoken English in almost a week. He should have at least thought through was he was going to say before he called.

[Fr.Patrick] "Are you okay, Kurt?" Patrick got up and closed the door of his office, then glanced at the clock. It was kind of early in Italy, wasn't it? "What's up?"

[Fr.Wagner] "Ich habe mich…" Kurt shut his eyes. Why did he always do the exact same things in the exact same ways? It was like he never learned even when he knew the answers.

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt took a deep breath and spoke a little more carefully. "I made a mistake," he said.

[Fr.Patrick] * Fr.Patrick nodded, then realized Kurt couldn't see that over the phone. "OK. Do you want to tell me about it?"

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt sat up slightly straighter. He was sitting in the dark, with a cell phone, in the corner of his new Vatican assigned apartment. He knew he probably looked ridiculous.

[Fr.Wagner] "Ice habe meine Neuzuordung angefangen," Kurt blurted out and then was silent. How many times was he going to do that? "I'm sorry," he said.

[Fr.Wagner] "I started my new assignment," he began again, trying not to let his voice shake. "And... And I don't... It's a good job for me, but I... Benedict came and showed me a letter." Kurt stopped. This wasn't working out at all.

[Fr.Patrick] "Good, so you enjoy your job? What did the letter say?"

[Fr.Patrick] Patrick wandered back to his chair and sat back down. He propped his feet on the desk by instinct then dropped them to the floor. It didn't seem appropriate.

[Fr.Wagner] Enjoy it? Did he? No, he was good at it maybe, but it wasn't really a very enjoyable job. Kurt wasn't sure it would ever be.

[Fr.Wagner] "No," Kurt corrected, "No, I don't enjoy it. I... I'm good at it. That's not the same. But, the letter... I... I could be a parish priest. I was requested."

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt wiped his eyes on his sleeve and blinked, realizing he was wearing his jacket still. He hadn't even taken it off. He'd just woken up fully dressed. Who did that?

[Fr.Patrick] * Fr.Patrick tapped his desk. "Well, how do you feel about that? Do you want to be a parish priest?" Where did the mistake come in?

[Fr.Wagner] "Yes!" Kurt said so quickly it surprised him.

[Fr.Wagner] "But. But, it's in New York...And that's... I can't..." Kurt said, trailing off and biting his lip.

[Fr.Wagner] "And I got another letter, or well, an email from... Liz... from one of my students. And so... Then ..." Kurt realized he was doing a terrible job of actually saying why he had called.

[Fr.Wagner] "So... I could have to think about... about what to do about all this. So, I thought I ... I thought I could have one drink while I thought about it. I'd pour the rest out," Kurt said.

[Fr.Patrick] Patrick nodded and put the pen down. "OK. So let's focus on that last point first."

[Fr.Patrick] "You had a drink; you thought you needed it. Why?"

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt thought for a moment. He had no idea why really. All he could remember was that it had just hit him while shopping for dinner things that it would be nice. Could he say that? It would be nice. It sounded ridiculous.

[Fr.Wagner] Maybe he could explain himself a little bit better. "I just... I like the way it tastes. I thought if I poured the rest out and if it was with dinner... then it would be okay."

[Fr.Patrick] * Fr.Patrick nodded. "Well. The problem is, Kurt, you know what your first step was when you took it. You admitted you were powerless over alcohol."

[Fr.Patrick] "Once you've admitted that, you have to deal with the knowledge. Since you're powerless, we're all powerless, we can't let ourselves give in to temptation. Even a little bit, or just once."

[Fr.Patrick] * Fr.Patrick looked around for the tumbler of water that used to be on his desk. "It's hard, I know. But if you want to get better, it's all or nothing."

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt rubbed his eyes again. "I woke up on my floor," he said disgustedly. "Why am I like this?"

[Fr.Wagner] Patrick had just given him the answer that question a moment ago of course. The answer and the solution. But still...

[Fr.Wagner] "How can I go to New York?" Kurt asked, "If I do things like this when I'm in Rome?"

[Fr.Patrick] "Well, it's not the location, you know. You're powerless no matter what or where. And that's OK."

[Fr.Patrick] "I think it's not..." Patrick found the water and poured himself a glass. "It's not New York that causes you to drink. It's just that you're used to drinking in New York. That's the heart of your memories, the site of all your old temptations."

[Fr.Patrick] "Does that make sense?" Patrick took a gulp of the water.

[Fr.Wagner] Was locking himself in a hotel room a "temptation"? Kurt wasn't sure. It had stopped being fun by then. "Maybe not just New York. Maybe all of America," Kurt said.

[Fr.Wagner] "But I... I never had problems here before. And... I'm going to meetings here and ... and now I do this. It's... I'm..." Kurt stopped. He wasn't sure what to say or do anymore. What did one do? Did they give up at this point or pick themselves up and start again?

[Fr.Patrick] * Fr.Patrick smiled. "Hey, Kurt? It's okay. These things happen. Especially in the beginning; you didn't expect to give it up cold turkey and stay clean forever, did you?"

[Fr.Patrick] "It'd be nice if that could happen. But... it doesn't. It certainly didn't for me. Staying clean is hard work. That's why you need a higher power to help you through it. God helps those who help themselves, Kurt. And you are helping yourself; going to meetings is great."

[Fr.Patrick] "But sometimes you're going to make a mistake and that mistake teaches you how you can better help yourself. It's all part of the process."

[Fr.Patrick] "So, the question is, where do you go from here? What do you want to do?"

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt bit his lip again, thinking about how months ago he'd dropped his Breviary on the floor, mixed up the ribbons, and rather than figure out where they went, had simply stopped praying his daily office. He didn't want to be like that again.

[Fr.Wagner] He'd been sitting in this corner ever since he'd come to on the floor. He stood up and stretched before making his way into his darkened kitchen to look at the meeting schedule he'd pinned to his bulletin board. Kurt squinted at it and then realized - he was wearing his jacket!

[Fr.Wagner] Still holding the phone in one hand, he fished his glasses out of his pocket and put them on.

[Fr.Wagner] "It's 4:30 now and... there's a meeting at 7. I could go after 6am mass," Kurt said. He ran his hand through his hair. "That will be a long day at work but... I could do it. I think."

[Fr.Wagner] "Then I have a few days to think about New York. Benedict said I have some time. I don't want to go see him like this anyway," he added thinking about their conversation a few days ago.

[Fr.Patrick] Patrick nodded again, then rolled his eyes at himself. Phone. "See? Now you're thinking. A meeting is a great idea, especially now. And there's no real rush on the other. You shouldn't feel stressed about it."

[Fr.Patrick] "One day at a time, eh? So today wasn't the greatest. But you're trying to help yourself, and that's what's important. Tomorrow will be better because of that."

[Fr.Wagner] For a moment Kurt was confused. It was a different time where Patrick was. He was always so horrible with the time zone thing. Was it later or earlier for him?

[Fr.Wagner] "So, does that mean that for me it is tomorrow? Or is it already tomorrow for you?" Kurt asked.

[Fr.Patrick] * Fr.Patrick blinked. What? How could it be tomorrow... oh.

[Fr.Patrick] He chuckled. "Take your days one step at a time, Kurt, don't worry about mine." That'd certainly make things less complicated, at any rate.

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt laughed. He did feel better actually. "Okay. I will. I should start getting ready actually I ... I kind of look like I slept on my floor," he said.

[Fr.Patrick] Patrick grinned. "Heh. Well, better you than me; I imagine you're more flexible than I am -- that'd just kill my back."

[Fr.Patrick] Sensing Kurt wanted to wrap up the call, he added, "So. Try to make the best you can of the rest of this day, have a good sleep (preferably not on the floor) and tackle tomorrow with a new understanding and a new will to resist."

[Fr.Patrick] "Sound like a plan?"

[Fr.Wagner] "No, my back's okay," Kurt said. "The only thing that's hurt is my pride I think. And my suit. It's wrinkled."

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt nodded and then realized that couldn't be seen on the other end of the phone. It really had been easier at Hazelden when he could talk to Patrick in person.

[Fr.Wagner] "I will," Kurt said. "And if I go to New York," Kurt counted quickly on his fingers and realized it was hopeless again, "the time difference won't be so bad."

[Fr.Wagner] "So, goodnight or goodmorning or... well... Thank you," he added.

[Fr.Patrick] * Fr.Patrick chucked, having finally swung over to his computer and pulled up a world clock. "Good evening for me, good morning for you."

[Fr.Patrick] "And natürlich, Kurt." He only mildly mauled the umlaut. "That's what I'm here for."

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt smiled. "Well then guten Abend," he said. "I'll call again when I make a decision. Auf Wiedershen." He hung up the phone.

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt took his glasses off and for a moment rested his head against the wall. He had no idea why everything was so much more difficult this time, but it was.

[Fr.Wagner] No. That wasn't true. Kurt did know. He was good at hiding, at separating. He had been Kurt Wagner, the circus acrobat, Kurt Wagner, the actor, and then Kurt Wagner, the drunk, and finally Kurt Wagner, the priest.

[Fr.Wagner] Now he was trying to be all those people at the same time. It was a lot more difficult, but he had a feeling that in the end, it would pay off. God loved him as he was. Not a fractured Kurt Wagner, but a whole one.

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt took a deep breath and straightened up. He had to get ready. He had a lot of things to do. It was going to be a long day, but he could tell already that it was going to be a good one.

[Saint Kurt]

Bette –

It 's so nice to hear from you. I'm so happy to hear that you are with your brother and that things are going well for you and with Warren.

Please, do not apologize for the way you behaved. You took care of yourself and that was absolutely the right thing to do. You should not be sorry at all. You did the absolutely right thing and I'm proud of you for it.

I did go into an alcohol rehabilitation program and maybe one day when I'm ready I can tell you about it. I learned a lot and I'm trying to follow the things they told me. I am sober now and working very hard to stay that way.

Thank you so much for the compliment. I am working at my new assignment now, which is very different from what I used to do. I know that I will miss teaching and seeing all of you.

Thank you so much for writing Lizzie. You were a bright spot in my day.

Yours truly,
Fr Wagner

[Saint Kurt]

Kurt nearly ran across the courtyard that separated the buildings that held the Vatican Archives where he worked to the Palace of St. Gregory XIII, where the Secretariat of State's offices and departments were contained. A flock of grey pigeons scattered at his approach and resettled on the ancient cobblestones behind him like a wake.

Kurt knew the building well, and once inside he found Benedict's office with only a few wrong turns. It was in the first section of the Department of Extraordinary Ecclesiastical Affairs, a lateral office of the Vatican Secretariat where he had worked for a brief period after his graduation from the Vatican School for Diplomatics and Archives Administration so many years ago.

Benedict's new office was much larger and quite prominently placed within the Vatican interior's winding architecture compared to the tiny closet Kurt had once occupied as a diplomatic intern. And then after that, the priests of the "Eximius Hominis Project"* had kept their offices within their presbytery in Rome, just outside the gates of Vatican City. Being back in the actual Vatican buildings again gave Kurt a strange mix of nostalgia and sadness.

They had deliberately given him an easy assignment, the kind he had done when he'd just gotten out of school. It was like they expected him to freak out and fall to pieces at any moment. Twenty years of exemplary service and now… He was a glorified librarian. Still, it could have been worst. He might have never gotten help at all, and then where would he be?

Kurt was surprised to find Benedict actually sitting inside. The man seemed to travel now, more than they ever had. He was seated not at his desk, but at a small side couch and reading a document and frowning. He looked up.

"Do you know the Reichskonkordat still creates church and state debates within German Parliament?" Benedict asked Kurt while he was still in the doorway.

Kurt was about to answer, but Benedict continued, "well of course you do, you're over their looking at the document in the making."

"Yeah, but it's not that interesting. I mean, everything is out of order so there's no continuity when I see it," Kurt said. This wasn't what he'd come there to talk about at all.

"I suppose that's true," Benedict said. "That did look like quite a mess."

"It is, but…" Kurt paused. How was he supposed to say this? In the middle of small talk about Vatican/German politics no less? Kurt took a deep breath and dropped to his knees, clasping his hands together.

"Benedict, I love God more than anything else," he announced.

Benedict looked slightly startled. "Is this about the…." He started to say, but Kurt held up his hand.

"No, please listen," Kurt said. Benedict nodded.

"Our Lord and his message are more important to me than anything," Kurt continued, "And if I have to somehow spread that message and that love I have from a basement, translating documents, I will. But… But if there lies the opportunity for me to say it, to truly be an…" Kurt struggled a moment for the right word, "an apostle of his Word then… Then I can't let that opportunity pass me by. No matter what the dangers may be, I'll face them.

"I want to go to New York."

Benedict stood up with a slightly bemused look on his face. "Kurt, you could have just asked," he said.

"I am asking," Kurt said.

Now Benedict was laughing. Kurt looked confused. "I mean you have could just, you know, asked," He shook his head, still chuckling. "Always such the "dramatique". Well then get off your knees because your prayers have been answered." Benedict picked several folded letters off of desk.

Kurt started to rise, but Benedict had already handed him the first and so he sat down on the floor to read.

"That's from your Archbishop, giving you permission to transfer to the Archdiocese of New York for one year." Kurt started to read, but Benedict was already handing him another.

"And this is the Archdiocese of New York confirming that your paperwork remains in order and that you may, provisionally, again work as a parish priest in their diocese." No sooner had Kurt started to read that one, when another letter was dropped in its place.

"This is the letter from Cardinal Jean-Louis Tauran Archivist-Librarian of the Archivum Secretum Apostolicum Vaticanum, as well as your direct superior stating that though your work is exemplary, they agree to release you from your current assignment to pursue diplomatic and missionary work in the United States."

"Diplomatic and missionary?" Kurt asked.

"Even as a parish priest you will still be a representative of the Vatican and the Vatican's diplomatic corps as an Extension of the Department of Extraordinary Ecclesiastical Affairs. It is a missionary role," Benedict said.

"Oh." Kurt nodded.

"And finally, this is from the Parish of The Immaculate Conception. They await your decision," Benedict said.

Now that he had everything in his hands Kurt read them through several times. He couldn't believe it. It was actually happening; possibility only for a year, but even a year was more than he thought he'd ever get.

"I can convey your decision and then put you both in touch," Benedict said. "If that's what you want."

Kurt nodded, still looking at the papers in his hands. It almost seemed unreal to him. Just a few months ago he wasn't sure if he was going to be allowed to remain a priest at all and now… this. It was almost impossible to imagine yet here it was – happening.

"I… I can't thank you enough," Kurt said looking up with shining eyes.

"It wasn't me," Benedict said, "You did this. This is based on your reputation and service, Kurt. All I did was make a few phone calls." Benedict laughed. "Now get up, you look ridiculous on the floor."

Kurt wiped his eyes and stood up. "You didn't have to make those phone calls," Kurt said, "you could have told me the right thing to do was to stay here."

Benedict shook his head. "Then I would have been lying. I think you'll do fine. I just wanted to make sure you thought you would do find as well."

"I will," Kurt said, shutting out the memory of two nights ago. "I'll do more than fine if I can," he said with a smile.

Benedict laughed. "That's the spirit. And… you better start packing because you'll be leaving in two weeks." Kurt sighed. He'd just finally unpacked his last box from storage. It was a small price to pay, but it was just so… typical.

"Oh, and don't forget this," Benedict handed Kurt a black document box like the ones that were filling is current, but soon to be vacant office.

Kurt furrowed his brow as he looked at it. "What is it?" He asked.

"This is the sum total of the work of Eximius Hominis, cataloged, numbered, and archived. The project is officially shut down. You always said you wanted to put it in the hands of the proper authorities, now you can."

Kurt took the box and opened it. Inside was what looked like a single large book, but when Kurt opened it, he saw that it contained several hundred DVD-ROMs, each in a numbered sleeve. No wonder it was so heavy.

"Every photograph, lab test, sample, all your written reports, everything, on every single extraordinary we encountered; they're all in there, Kurt. The Vatican will keep a copy of course, but it's not classified. It's time for the rest of the world to benefit from what we know," Benedict said.

Kurt held the box tightly to his chest. "I'll make sure the right people see it," he said. "Thank you for this, Benedict."

"We should never have hidden it for as long as we did," Benedict said.

Kurt nodded. "I know. But everybody deserves a second chance."

{finis}









*Latin for "extraordinary being": the Vatican's official name for Wagner's project of which Msgr Benedict Dietrich was the director.

[Saint Kurt]

For those that care about this kind of thing: This story is out of timeline order. It actually took place in the beginning of the summer while Wagner was still living in Germany.


Author's note: I wrote this a while ago and wasn't sure if I could post it since it simply had too much Catholic rites and theology for an average reader to understand. I've been spending this whole time editing it.

It takes place in a traditional Catholic church – they don't make them like this anymore and most of them have been altered according to the changes made by the Vatican II documents. For images of what these churches used to look like, here is a virtual tour of the Church of St. John Cantius in Chicago.

I've included one for your viewing pleasure, but I'd check out the whole thing. It's gorgeous!



The title is the text of Step 7 of the Alcoholics Anonymous 12 steps.


Kurt had gotten used to being there. He wasn't sure how it had happened, but it had. He'd arrived exhausted and empty, not sure how a month spent in a cloister with a bunch of German monks who still celebrated the Tridentine or Traditional Latin Rite Mass of Pope Pius V were going to change that. Somehow they had.

Kurt had gotten used to the routine, the waking up at dawn and throwing his cassock on over a dark shirt and pants to pray each morning. He hadn't worn a cassock for a liturgical function in years, but priests in Germany still occasionally wore them so he'd brought one. The monks' habits were dark and though they hadn't specified any particular dress for Kurt while he was on retreat there, he'd chosen for himself the cassock without his white roman collar as his own sort of habit to wear.

He'd started to enjoy each day with its routines of prayer, work, and study, spent mostly in silence except during specific hours during which they were permitted to socialize freely. No one expected anything of him. He wasn't there to be a priest, but simply to heal and remember why he'd committed his life to God in the first place.

Now though, Kurt was wearing his collar for the first time since he'd arrived and carrying his stole and alb folded over one arm as he walked into the familiar cathedral. Kurt looked up at the majestic high altar at the very center, with its two low altars on either side. Kurt had been born just a year before the landmark Vatican II talks began and this was how churches had looked when he was growing up. They had been dark, the air dense with incense and their corners packed with statues and flickering with candles, the sanctuary* cut off to the congregation by the linen covered communion rail where he'd knelt with his mother.

Kurt knelt at one of the pews for a few minutes. Even though he was a priest, he'd never opened the gates to the rail to cross into the sanctuary where tabernacle stood as the gleaming centerpiece of the carved wooden High Altar. Finally Kurt stood up and reciting the vesting prayer** in Latin under his breath, slid his alb over his head. Kurt kissed his stole and placed it around his shoulders. Then he genuflected and crossed the floor to the center of the communion rail.

"…although I am unworthy to approach your sacred mysteries, grant me nevertheless…" Kurt said as he slowly unhooked the latch and opened the gate. He entered the sanctuary in silence, carefully shutting the gate behind him.

As Kurt approached the tabernacle he slowly knelt down onto his knees before it and then stretched out on the floor in front of the altar with his forehead resting on the backs of his hands. It was the way he, and his fellow students from the Herzogliches Georgianum, the theological seminary of the University of Munich***, had laid prostrate on the floor of the Dom zu unserer lieben Frau, the largest cathedral in Munich during their ordination as priests. Kurt remembered going in beforehand and stepping into the cathedral's famed "Devil's Footprint" and being relieved that his foot didn't match.

Lying on the floor, slowly relaxing his muscles, Kurt took a breath as though waiting for something to happen, but he was alone.

No.

Not really alone. The Divine Presence was just above him.

Kurt remembered lying this way, waiting for the Archbishop to anoint his hands. He had waited so long for it and worked so hard. He had so much hope. There was so much he had wanted to do; imagined himself doing.

Something in the back of Kurt's mind stirred, an idea he had had, the idea that by becoming a priest he was shedding the mistakes of his past, becoming a new person of sorts, one who would never make those kinds of mistakes again. And yet he had. He'd made the exact same mistakes. Kurt had told the students he kept his old scrapbooks of embarrassing photos to remind himself of who he was. But those pictures, they weren't just of who he was, they were of him. It wasn't just who he was then, it was who he was now.

Kurt shut his eyes tighter. That… That version of himself, the actor with the sports car and a house in Hollywood; he'd forgotten all about God. He wasn't sure how, but he had. But maybe God could accept that, could accept those mistakes he had made. It would be such a relief to just … stop fearing that he would turn into that person again. If he could finally just admit to the fact that he was that person and had always been that person, maybe then it would be easier to simply … ask God for help.

It was the same thing when Kurt thought about his childhood self. He'd been so carefully sheltered his entire life. He understood why people had done it, but now that he could look back and see that damage that that had wrought it was hard not to be angry. Then again, was there any point in staying angry? He'd made the choice to say goodbye to his own over-protective mother (stupidly maybe, Kurt still wasn't sure) and had paid that price. He'd eventually grown up though … even if it had been too many years later. Could he keep shutting that part of himself out as well? He'd kept his acrobatic skills as a quaint reminder of "what he used to do", but what if it was more than just the skills and he truly embraced all of it? It would mean allowing the part of himself that had never seen an airplane or eaten in a restaurant to take residence in the same body that had been to over 30 different countries and knew the diplomatic protocols for each. That was the Kurt Wagner that had been taught to be afraid, but it was also the part of himself that was comfortable in front of an audience and liked to perform. Would that be so bad?

Kurt sighed. It was like he had been in pieces all these years. He'd acknowledged that he'd done all these things, but that was as far as he'd gone. There had been Kurt Wagner the acrobat, Kurt Wagner (always pronounced incorrectly) the actor, and then finally Kurt Wagner the hopeless drunk. He was Kurt Wagner the priest now and all those other Kurt Wagners weren't welcome anymore. No wonder he'd been so frightened. He was afraid of being himself all this time.

And so what if he just asked – asked God to accept him as he was? He'd tried so hard to be good, to be perfect in the eyes of God, his mother, his audience… He tried to be a model priest, ever obedient to God and to the Magisterium. He'd tried so hard and for so long and it was exhausting; a race that would never end and that he could never win. But what if God were to simply accept him as he was because then, only then would he have the courage and the humility to truly ask God for help. And he needed help. It seemed like such a simple thing and yet it was so difficult.

Kurt started to pray, in Latin at first, The Our Father, but slowly the words changed.

"Please take this away, these pieces of me that threaten to tear me apart at any moment. Please let me be whole and by being so let me serve you in all your glory as I was meant to. As I've always wanted to. Please…" Kurt repeated them over and over, sometimes making changes, but the message was always the same. If he was ever going to truly change, only God had the power to change him.

Kurt was surprised by the feeling of wetness on his hands and raised his head. During his priestly ordination, Kurt's hands had been anointed with fragrant oil of catechumens, now they were wet with his own tears.

Rising back to his knees Kurt looked up at the long suffering and patient face of his Lord crucified.

"Thank you."







*Note : In Traditional Latin Mass churches, an altar rail stands between the congregation and the Sanctuary. In modern churches the rail is no longer used.

**English Translation: "Purify me, O Lord, from all stain and cleanse my heart, that, washed in the blood of the Lamb, I may enjoy eternal delights."

Note: Priests who are about to celebrate Mass put on a number of garments and each one of these represents something and has a prayer to go with it. In the case of the alb, it represents integrity which is why Kurt chose it.


***It's where Pope Benedict XVI went to seminary. Ooo. There really is a thing called "The Devil's Footprint" at that Cathedral.

Here's what a Catholic priest's ordination looks like:

{fixed broken img tags --SK}

[Edited on 3/1/0707 by Saint Kurt]

[Saint Kurt]

Xavier's Office

[Fr.Wagner] With a feeling that everything had gone slightly surreal Kurt walked through the empty school towards Charles Xavier's office. He'd never expected to see this place again.

[Fr.Wagner] He shifted the heavy document case under one arm and reached up to knock on the door.

[Dr.Xavier] Charles looked up, a bit surprised to have a visitor. He hadn't made any appointments, and the students and professor's weren't due back for weeks yet. Doing a quick scan he smiled. "Please come in, Kurt."

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt opened the door and peeked around it. Charles was at his desk, which had it's inevitable paper work set in neat stacks before him.

[Fr.Wagner] He was immediate at a loss for words. What did you say when you showed unannounced in a place where you'd utterly and totally lost it. Kurt shrugged. "Hi," Kurt said, "I'm back."

[Dr.Xavier] "This I can see. How was your summer in Rome? And your time out west...Hank had mentioned he visited you."

[Fr.Wagner] "Actually, I was in Germany for most of the summer," Kurt said. He smiled. "And thank you for being discreet, but things went well in rehab as well."

[Fr.Wagner] "I thought I'd drop by because I... I've got a new assignment, at that big stone church down the road. I've been here for about a week." Kurt shifted the box of documents again.

[Fr.Wagner] "And I also wanted to say I'm sorry. I really messed up." Kurt shut his eyes. "It was... inexcusable."

[Dr.Xavier] He nodded. "It was. But I am very happy to see you getting back on track, and working so close! I was worried we wouldn't see you again."

[Fr.Wagner] "I didn't think I'd be back either, but... Eximius Hominis is no more and I was reassigned to a new position working in Rome and then," Kurt smiled. "I got a last minute transfer."

[Fr.Wagner] "Apparently, there are people here who think I'm a good priest."

[Fr.Wagner] "I'm a pastor." Kurt couldn't help smiling even wider. He'd been there only a week and a half and he still couldn't believe it was actually happening.

[Dr.Xavier] Xavier looked over Kurt. "I can't say much for what kind of priest you are, but I will agree that you are a good man. And I'm very happy you got this position! It sounds like everything has worked out for the best."

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt nodded. "It was never an option for me before, but... things are changing. Apparently a priest that looks like me isn't such a big deal anymore. You are making a difference."

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt shifted the document case one last time. "Oh. And this is for you," he said seriously. "In this box are all of the Eximius Hominis archives - reports on extraodinaries all over the globe over the last nine years. Some of your students are in here, many are not."

[Fr.Wagner] He held it out towards Charles. "Last year Benedict... I mean Monsignor Dietrich refused to let me release information to the school, but with the project closed we had the choice to classify them or not.

[Fr.Wagner] "We chose not to, but instead to hand them over to the proper authority. I believe that authority is you."

[Dr.Xavier] He smiled, accepting the box. "Thank you Kurt. The work you have done was very important, and I am sure that we will get alot out of your research."

[Dr.Xavier] "I truly appreciate this. And it's not just me making the difference. We all are. So don't just thank me, or give me the credit.

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt nodded. "You had a good idea Charles. It wasn't always easy, but it was a good idea. I'm glad you decided to keep the school open."

[Dr.Xavier] "The school has become a very important place to most of these kids. For some, it's their home. I'm proud we all worked to provide it."

[Dr.Xavier] "And, I want you to know that your position as a professor here is still available, if you choose to take it."

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt had been standing the whole time and he was so shocked by this statement, he had to sit down.

[Fr.Wagner] "You want me to teach here?" He asked gesturing at himself for emphasis. "Seriously?"

[Fr.Wagner] "Or what I mean to say is, why?"

[Dr.Xavier] "I've always been a firm believer in second chances. You seemed to be able to reach some of the more troubled students before you're unfortunate...relapse."

[Dr.Xavier] "The choice is yours 100%. I am merely letting you know the offer stands, if you choose to accept."

[Fr.Wagner] "I go to A.A. meetings now," Kurt said. "It used to never make sense to me because I thought 'how can it be anonymous, I'm the only one who looks like this, everyone knows who I am.' But that was stupid."

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt paused for a moment thinking. "Teaching my old subjects?" He asked.

[Dr.Xavier] "Well, we'd like you to teach the old subjects to the first years, but we are trying to give some variety to the second years. Come up with two classes you'd find interesting or important and we will let them choose their schedules."

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt knew he should think about it. He should go back to the rectory and think about it and then come back and tell Charles what he decided. But, he'd liked teaching. And as a "junior assistant pastor" he did have a lot of gaps in his schedule.

[Fr.Wagner] He nodded. "I could do it," he said. Kurt almost felt like he was watching himself saying it. He was in New York, he had the kind of ministry he'd always wanted, and he could teach again?

[Fr.Wagner] He was going to wake up at any moment, he was sure of it.

[Dr.Xavier] Charles smiled. "Wonderful. Everyone will be happy to see you back I'm sure."

[Dr.Xavier] "We want to draft a letter to the students very soon to choose their classes, so if you can get your's to me as soon as possible I would appreciate it."

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt stood up to shake Charles' hand. "I will," he said "And... Thank you."

[Fr.Wagner] Afterwards, as Kurt retreated through the silent halls of the big mansion that was Xavier University he was reminded once again that God truly was looking after him and that prayers really did get answered after all.

[Saint Kurt]

I wanted Wagner to look a little less severe and be more approachable this year so he's stopped wearing his hair in such a short clerical cut and now wears it a little longer. He's also generally happier as well.



So there you have it. (sorry for the very large pic - it can be reduced but it looks best at that size)

Also - What's Fr. Kurt's Blog for?

Never mind I'll write a new one.

{edited --SK}

-e

[Edited on 5/1/0707 by Saint Kurt]

[NachtcGleiskette]

I think there was some confusion, and just to avoid more, the first game is actually on August 21st as stated in this thread

(paws adds her two bits - Yeah...I know I said in between the 15th and 20th when we were talking in chat about it and then you mentioned the 15th is a holy day of obligation and then we got talking about the whole 'would kurt be able to come then'...but I hadn't looked at the calendar or anything my that time with Nacht. Sorry for the confusion! - Paws)


[Edited on 5/1/07 by fourpawsonthefloor]

[Saint Kurt]

I've fixed the time thing. Now they work according to the dates for the games. Sorry about that.

http://fatherkurtw.blogspot.com/

There is one posted in anticipation of tomorrow's game. As the story moves on I will try to use more and more from the game as examples etc. so that these act kind of as Wagner's summary/commentary of what's going on in the game.

Not that any of you want to read bible shit anyway... But it's Wagner's bible shit so it's slighly more humorous (I hope) that the sermon's I stole from.

-e

[Saint Kurt]

The Apartment Above the Garage

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt opened the kitchen cupboards and turned away. Dust! It had been easy teleporting most of his books and things (though he still had another trip to go) from his old apartment in the main house, but this apartment hadn't been lived in in decades. Dust was everywhere.

[Fr.Wagner] Of course, its last occupant had been ... him so it was his dust, but still. It needed to be cleaned if he was going to live here comfortably without spending his entire life sneezing.

[Fr.Wagner] Plus, his house in LA (which didn't count), here, and his very brief time in his own apartment in Rome (all four weeks of it), Kurt had never had a kitchen of his own. So this was going to be different.

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt pulled the dishes out and put them in the sink to start running the water. It was too bad they didn't make dishwashing gloves to fit his hands... He shrugged as he watched the sink fill and looked around for more to do.

[Dr.McCoy] Hank climbed the stairs to the small apartment, barely able to see around the huge box containing Kurt's belongings. Kurt could have gotten this last bit himself, of course. But.... the smell. He shuddered. It would take days to air that out.

[Dr.McCoy] In fact, he was sure his hair and the clothes he had already moved into Kurt's old room would smell like sulfur forever. He stopped, unsure of how he was to knock without setting the box down. Then he'd have to pick it back up....

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt opened another cupboard. Hey. He had pots and pans too...

[Fr.Wagner] They were dusty too of course. Kurt pulled them out as well and shut off the tap. He could hear noises. Like they were coming from the living room. Kurt crossed the small apartment and standing amongst his piles of books he listened.

[Fr.Wagner] The door? Kurt opened it. "Henry? Oh, I was going to come get that." He took a box of books from Hank's hands.

[Dr.McCoy] Still deciding what to do with the box, Hank jumped a bit when Kurt opened the door. "Oh, Kurt...thank you." He happily handed off the box. "Er, well, I thought I'd be neighborly and bring this last bit over!" He slid his glasses back up his nose and smiled.

[Fr.Wagner] "Well, I'm far from moved in," Kurt said, gesturing around. "It's kind of a huge mess actually. I think I'm going to stay at the rectory for another week. But come in!" He backed away from the door.

[Fr.Wagner] "I think when I get this all organized it's going to be great. I'm so thankful to Charles. That rectory is way too small. My room literally IS under the stairs. I feel like Harry Potter. How are you getting on with your move?"

[Dr.McCoy] Hank stepped inside and looked around. He hadn't been up here for ages... not since Kurt had lived there. How long ago was that again?

[Dr.McCoy] "I think so too. I'd forgotten how... charming it was up here." He stopped inpecting the room and looked at Kurt. With his hair grown out and curly again he almost looked like the young man Hank'd met all those years ago. Except for the grey.

[Dr.McCoy] But that happened to the best of us, he thought, running a hand through his own grey.

[Dr.McCoy] "Well, by all means, this is more Hogwarts than the rectory," he chuckled. "Good! I have most of my clothes and books moved in. He winked. Now I can get them on the shelf." After I air the place out.

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt smiled. "It's a nice apartment," he said. "I liked it. And sorry it was such a..." he bit his lip, "such a mess."

[Fr.Wagner] He looked around. He still needed to wash all the grime off the built in bookshelves before he put his books in. "It seems like I've always been better at moving in than at moving out, I guess." Kurt dropped his last box of books which the rest.

[Fr.Wagner] "I don't know why I seem to need my own library," he said, almost to himself.

[Dr.McCoy] "Oh, it's fine, Kurt," Hank said. "Just needs a bit of spit and polish. I think it will be good for me -- to live here with the students. Ensure no one is alone in dealing with them."

[Dr.McCoy] He frowned for a moment as Kurt seemed to talk to himself. "Well, I brought quite the library myself. My books are just more in English than yours. For the most part. Books are good companions."

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt shrugged and laughed. "It's just all stacked up in this little apartment ... it looks like... a lot of books."

[Fr.Wagner] "I keep finding like ... old half empty vodka bottles too in here," Kurt admitted embarrassedly, "but I've been keeping the books and throwing those out."

[Dr.McCoy] "Well, it is a lot of books," Hank admitted. "And frankly, I'm glad you took them -- they're not really my desired reading material." He grinned.

[Dr.McCoy] "Ah, yes." This was another of those times Hank could kick himself for not seeing the signs in Kurt sooner. "How are you doing, Kurt?"

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt smiled, but kept his eyes closed. He was still so ashamed of what had happened and still so surprised they'd asked him back. "I'm good," he said, opening his eyes.

[Fr.Wagner] "I mean, I'm really good. I've been realizing so many things that I just..." Kurt frowned. "I guess I thought it was something I was going to grow out of and that just made it worst when I ..."

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt ran his hand through his hair. "I just didn't realize what was going to happen. Thanks for visiting me though. Sorry I was so cranky. I don't know if I was quite ready to be a human being again yet."

[Dr.McCoy] "Wonderful! You don't know how happy I am for you."

[Dr.McCoy] He waved away the thanks. "That's what friends are for, yes? And, in fact, I recall you being quite friendly. There was a hug involved." He gave Kurt a mischeivious smile.

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt laughed. "You don't know the kind of week I was having. I ... I don't know why but I'm told I attacked Benedict when we got there. I think I thought he was supposed to be taking me to Italy, but I'm not sure."

[Fr.Wagner] "Then I spent two days in their detox unit which I vaguely remember as being horrible." Kurt smiled. "I was just so happy to see someone familiar who wasn't going to hurt me or do something I was frightened of..."

[Fr.Wagner] "It was just really great to see you even if you didn't take me out of there, which is what I was secretly hoping you'd come to do." Kurt said with a laugh. "After awhile I got used to it though."

[Dr.McCoy] "Ah, I warned him about that," Hank said softly.

[Dr.McCoy] "And it was wonderful to see you," he said. To see him not in a coma. Good Lord, they'd come close to losing him. But, that was behind them now. It was time to move forward and be mindful.

[Dr.McCoy] "So, how are you enjoying your new assignment?"

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt grinned. "I really like it. They... They asked for me. And it's a big parish so there are all kinds of people and ... a school. So I celebrate masses there and once a week I go talk in their classrooms. It's really different."

[Fr.Wagner] "Their classes haven't started yet so I don't know quite how that's going to work," Kurt admitted. "You know, little kids sometimes..." he held up his hands, "I guess I'll work something out."

[Fr.Wagner] "But all the other priests are very nice, and the other people who work there."

[Dr.McCoy] "That sounds interesting! And a definite island of normalcy -- I imagine it will be quite the madhouse around here when the students come back. We have quite a few new freshmen."

[Dr.McCoy] "And I'm sure the children will love you -- they can always tell a good heart in the end."

[Fr.Wagner] "Yeah," Kurt said, sitting down on one of his piles of books. "Twice as many of them here. And I still don't know why Charles asked me back."

[Dr.McCoy] "Because you made a difference -- you're a good teacher, Kurt. And a good mentor for many of them, because you've been through what they're going through."

[Fr.Wagner] "Been through? Or went through right in front of them?" Kurt asked, rubbing his eye. It was probably just the dust...

[Fr.Wagner] "I'll always feel terrible that I wasn't there for them when they needed me most," Kurt said. "I suppose I should be glad I'm getting a second chance. Except that I hope this year... I just get to teach."

[Fr.Wagner] "We learned a lot of lessons last year didn't we?"

[Dr.McCoy] "Oh, a multitude of them! Yes, Charles has much more complete plans in place for this year. I'm looking forward to being a part of it." Maybe they can break into my room as well as my office, he didn't say.

[Dr.McCoy] He gestured to a pile of....what was that junk? "Do you need help cleaning this out? It's been empty for so long, it appears to have been used for storage."

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt scratched his head as he looked around. "I know," he said. "It's like, some of my old stuff, random car parts, and ... I don't know what all those things are."

[Fr.Wagner] "But, I can move stuff out of here really quickly. I was going to offer you some help with you place. If you need stuff moved out? Or in?" Kurt said.

[Dr.McCoy] "Oh..." Hell no. "No, thank you, Kurt. I don't have much left to move." He chuckled, deciding to tell Kurt the foul truth. "And to be honest, I'm airing out the sulfur from your book relocation."

[Fr.Wagner] "Oh yeah..." Kurt said, chewing his lip a moment, "I guess there is that. I don't even notice it anymore."

[Fr.Wagner] "Oh! I have these great scented candles!" Kurt looked around and then looked sheepish. "Except they're in Rome." He said with a laugh. "I'm sorry, I totally didn't think about that at all..."

[Fr.Wagner] "Well," Kurt said, "One of the benefits of this place is that I get to live above my car. And it's new. This one doesn't look like a reject from World War II anymore. You can come look at that while your apartment airs out and get out of all this dust."

[Dr.McCoy] "Oh, no, it's not a big deal...I've always thought about developing a counter agent to it," he grinned. "This just gives me an excuse."

[Dr.McCoy] "Oh? The WagnerWagon is no more? Let's see this new car then? What kind is it?"

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt laughed. Christine had said that what? Once? And his car had never lived it down. Even after he'd abandoned it for nearly two decades. Hell, he'd been shocked it even started at all let alone that it had kept its nickname.

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt opened the door. "I'm afraid it's just going to be another WagnerWagon again. I really wanted a car that wasn't blue. And that was fast. And that wasn't a Volkswagon, but... I don't know..."

[Fr.Wagner] "It just seemed right, you know?"

[Dr.McCoy] "You got another VW!" Hank laughed aloud and clapped Kurt on the back, following him through the door. "Good man! I think it seems right indeed!"

[Fr.Wagner] Kurt shrugged. "There are worse things to be addicted to I suppose. This one has a flower vase."


Note: Slarti once told me the WagnerWagon was like its own character. Here at last is the story of the old WagnerWagon and the new one - with pictures!