I was thinkin that it would be fun to see what jokes people have! Since I haven't seen a funny joke thread around I thought I'd be the first to put it up here. Ok, here's one:
A man was wandering around a fairground and he happened to see a fortune-teller's tent. Thinking it would be good for a laugh, he went inside and sat down.
"Ah..." said the woman, as she gazed into her crystal ball. "I see you are the father of two children."
"That's what you think," said the man scornfully. "I'm the father of THREE children."
The woman grinned and said, "That's what YOU think."
Jokes
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NightPoofer
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Blue_Demon94
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Jokes
Some of my jokes aren't for people with a weak stomach.. here's oneWhat's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies? [spoiler]I don't have a Corvette in my garage[/spoiler]
Here's one my uncle told me a few years back..
Two guys are waiting at a bus stop and are getting bored. One man turns to the other and says
"I bet you a thousand bucks my penis is bigger than yours"
The other man looks at him and thinks for a moment, then agrees. The second pulls down his pants and shows the other man. The firstman laughs as he pulls down his pants and his thing stretches across the street. The second man begins to laugh hysterically as he looks at the man.
"What's so funny," The first man asks, "You just lost a thousand dollars!?"
The second man, still laughing looks at the first man and says, "The bus is here"
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fourpawsonthefloor
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Jokes
Four Catholic ladies are having coffee together.
The first one tells her friends, "My son is a Priest.
When he walks into a room, everyone says Father."
The second one chirps up, "My son is a Bishop. Whenever
he walks into a room, everyone says 'Your Grace'."
The third Catholic lady says smugly, "My son is a Cardinal.
When he walks into a room, everyone says 'Your eminence'."
The fourth Catholic lady sips her coffee in silence.
The first three ladies all ask, Well...?"
She replies, "My son is a 6' 2", hard-bodied stripper, and hung like a rhino. When he walks into in a room everyone says, "Oh, my God....."
The first one tells her friends, "My son is a Priest.
When he walks into a room, everyone says Father."
The second one chirps up, "My son is a Bishop. Whenever
he walks into a room, everyone says 'Your Grace'."
The third Catholic lady says smugly, "My son is a Cardinal.
When he walks into a room, everyone says 'Your eminence'."
The fourth Catholic lady sips her coffee in silence.
The first three ladies all ask, Well...?"
She replies, "My son is a 6' 2", hard-bodied stripper, and hung like a rhino. When he walks into in a room everyone says, "Oh, my God....."
I'm actually quite pleasant until I'm awake.