4/17 Instance: Seeing Double

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4/17 Instance: Seeing Double

Post by Svartfreja » Fri Apr 17, 2015 5:02 am

After [fic]The Word on the Bird.

<CaptMarvel> "Woooow you really weren't kidding...." Carol stared up at the building, "Looks better than I remember."

<Carol> "Well I'd hope so, it's cost SHIELD a fortune to fix this place up... there didn't used to be a hole in the roof - even before. Then a robot went crazy..."

<CaptMarvel> "Yeah, crazy robots.... I've been there." She eyed the scaffolding, "So... is it haunted?"

<Carol> Carol shrugged, "Not that I've seen... but everyone else still seems to think it is. It's been a year though and the only ghost was a student so... it's probably fine...."

<Bobby> Since the doggie needed to go walkies Bobby decided he could go walkies too, giving Yoda a much-needed lap around the building. When he reached the front of the main building, however, he stopped and blinked. Were there... two of them?

<CaptMarvel> "Probably?" she raised an eyebrow at her other self then looked around her at the new arrival, "We have company."

<Carol> Carol turned, "Oh that's Bobby..." she waved and gestured him over.

<Bobby> He knew he wasn't seeing things when Yoda backed up and started barking at the colorfully-costumed other-Carol. "Um, hey," he said, shushing the dog and warily approaching. He debated playing this cool. "I didn't know you had... a sister?"

<Carol> She laughed, "Cute. I brought her home with me from an other version of reality. Other me, Bobby Drake; Bobby, Captain Marvel."

<CaptMarvel> She raised a gloved hand and waved, then looked down at the dog, "I think your dog knows I'm a cat person."

<Bobby> "Yeah..." Bobby looked at Carol - well, Carol Number One. He looked at Carol Number Two. He looked back. "Um. The fuckity fuck?"

<Carol> "I saw where she worked, I figured it was only fair... also she confirmed the raccoon's diagnosis."

<CaptMarvel> "I totally did. With my spaceship."

<Bobby> Bobby felt a headache coming on and pinched the bridge of his nose, ignoring Yoda winding the leash around his legs. "Yeaaah..."

<Carol> "You're not seeing things and you're not asleep... I can smack you if you think it'll help?"

<CaptMarvel> "She's half-Kree like me... but I wasn't born that way. There was an incident with the afore mentioned spaceship." She cocked her head at the dog, "Man... Chewie would eat you alive."

<Bobby> "....Chewie?" If Chewbacca was involved, Bobby knew he'd bought a one-way ticket to a padded cell somewhere between their apartment and the shrubbery. "Kree?"

<CaptMarvel> "Chewie is my cat," she looked at him again, "And, yes, Kree. They're an alien race native to Hala in the Large Magellanic Cloud."

<Bobby> "Of course they are..." He started trying to unwind Yoda's leash. "Okay, I think I'm going to go call Paige and just... lie down..."

<Carol> Carol laughed, "I know it sounds crazy and you thought I was crazy before.... but obviously this is an actual thing now... and I told Fury."

<Bobby> "You told Fury you're crazy? It's apparently fucking contagious!" It came out before he could stop it.

<Carol> Carol rolled her eyes, "No. I told him what Rocket told me... and I told him I was bringing this version of me home with me to show her around."

<CaptMarvel> "We're really not crazy. I've actually been to Hala. I know it sounds insane and, if I could show you the ship that did this to me, I'd do it but she tells me Rocket might try to sell it for parts so... no. I earned that sucker."

<Bobby> Bobby closed his eyes and screwed up his face. "Okay!" he let out in a burst. "Let's just... pretend I'm following, like, any of this... not at all crazy." Why not! Let's play along. "Let's start at the beginning of where the hell you came from?" he pointed at Carol Number Two, waving his finger at her costume and her... her in general.

<CaptMarvel> "The portal in the basement your pet Brood opened up." She cocked her head on one side, eyebrow raised, mirroring her other self eerily.

<Bobby> "He's not a pet - he's a student!" Bobby sighed. "Unfortunately, that does make more sense, and that makes me just as fucking crazy as you... two. I'm just gonna owe Paige a twenty for this and call it good."

<CaptMarvel> "Well whatever you want to call it. It lives in the basement." She shrugged, "I've done the reality hopping thing before... not voluntarily. This is much nicer."

<Bobby> "He. He. And he's my friend's brother, so... no it, okay?" He frowned. "Okay, so you're from another reality. I saw that portal, and all that came out of it were little smelly blue things that stole booze and underwear."

<Carol> "The portal goes other places... Broo's been studying it and now he can target it... he's started numbering the realities... and I guess I should be worried that he's in the thousands...."

<CaptMarvel> It was so weird to her that there was a Brood that spoke good english that they let roam around the place unsupervised so she just offered a shrug.

<Bobby> "Oh, because targeting it is a great idea... especially when apparently we fucking just plain lost two students in it a while back and - thousands?" He'd think about that later, maybe with a beer or six.

<Carol> "Don't think about it... maybe I should have just not said that part... but now you can have that and I'll worry about all the other stuff. Enjoy!"

<CaptMarvel> She laughed, "Getting lost in other realities? I've been there... I liked one reality because there was a hobo Norman Osborn... who was crazy... I wanted to swap him for ours who is a douchebag... but still crazy... and in prison... for being a crazy douchebag."

<Bobby> "Ours is a crazy douchebag too, but not in prison, unfortunately." He narrowed his eyes and took a step toward Carol Number Two. "So... you're in an alternate reality kind of close to ours... sorta." That costume wasn't quite like theirs. "Do you have a me?"

<CaptMarvel> "Probably?" She eyed him, "I could look you up maybe... You're not an Avenger though."

<Bobby> "Noooo, I had a turn at avenging, but not so much." He eyed her right back. "Nobody with wicked cool ice powers?"

<CaptMarvel> "There's Crystal but... she does other stuff too.... and she's one of those experiment descendents I mentioned before," she glanced at her other self.

<Bobby> "Damn..." He was a bit crestfallen, but it was probably for the best. He had Harvey, after all. "Okay, right... get back to that bit," he said, scratching his nose and then waving the hand in their general direction. "Experiment descendents of... aliens? Like, ancient astronauts?"

<CaptMarvel> She glanced at her other self again, "Yeah... the Kree I mentioned before. They pissed off some sort of cosmic god thing and as punishment it halted their evolution so they've been trying ways to work around it ever since... by screwing over the 'lesser' races." Yes she was using air quotes.

<Bobby> "Fox Mulder was right all along... son of a bitch." He really should call home and have mom ship him his X-Files DVDs... "Does this at all involve anal probes?"

<CaptMarvel> "Uh... I didn't hang around and ask questions of their Supreme Intelligence because, at the time, I was sort of breaking my friend out of their prison and getting shot at... but, if I go back, I guess I can ask for you?"

<Bobby> "That's okay, it was more rhetorical... they're aliens. Of course there're anal probes involved..." He just nodded sagely.

<CaptMarvel> "I feel like I should be offended..." she looked down at the dog again.

<Bobby> "He's not an alien," Bobby pointed out. "Even though he's named after one."

<CaptMarvel> "He doesn't seem to like me very much."

<Carol> "I think he's just confused... Yoda's obviously not as chilled out as Chewie."

<CaptMarvel> "Yoda? Seriously?" She laughed, "We're on the same side!"

<Bobby> Bobby's eyes widened. "Waaait, so Chewie is short foooor?"

<CaptMarvel> "Chewbacca... obviously... and she lives in a house with three aliens, I'm pretty sure nothing shocks her anymore."

<Bobby> "Ha!" Bobby didn't even bother to stop himself from doing a short victory dance. "I knew it! Lucas is universal!"

<CaptMarvel> Carol laughed, "If there is a universe out there that doesn't have Star Wars, I think I need to make it my mission to fix it."

<Bobby> He moved closer to her and gave her a friendly smack on the arm. "Hey, I think I like you!" He turned to Carol Number One. "Can we keep her?"

<Carol> "... Uh she might want to go home sooner or later?"

<CaptMarvel> "I can visit... I offered some help with information on various alien races but I will have to go home every day because I have a kid and a job... and a cat."

<Carol> "And a yard full of chickens."

<CaptMarvel> "That too."

<Bobby> "Hmm... How about we swap then." He made a criss-crossing motion with his hands between the two women.

<Carol> "Nope!" She was so not doing that. "I'm not wearing that... and I don't do kids."

<CaptMarvel> "Yeah... I think some people might notice the difference too... but that's very sweet." She patted Bobby.

<Carol> "Yeah I'm a bit offended."

<Bobby> "Ah, well, it was worth a shot." He pretended a long-suffering sigh and eyeballed Carol Number One. "Yeah, Cess might notice you're not cranky."

<Carol> "I'm not cranky!"

<CaptMarvel> "Crankiness happens. We have stressful jobs." She shrugged, "I don't think I could do this job... not enough punching allowed." Though now she was curious who this Cess person was.

<Bobby> "Yeah, but..." He moved closer to Carol Number Two and dropped his voice to a mock-whisper, stabbing a thumb in their Carol's direction. "That's permanent..."

<CaptMarvel> She dropped her own voice, "You know if you keep insulting her I'm gonna smack you out of loyalty, right?"

<Bobby> "Or maybe it's a cross-dimensional trait," he said with a nod, taking a step away.

<CaptMarvel> "It's probably genetics," she laughed, giving him a small shove, "Some things just bring it out faster." She glanced at her other self, "Who's Cess?"

<Bobby> "Who's Cess?" Bobby turned his attention back to Carol Number One. "Oh, babe, you gotta let Cess meet her... she'd be all over this!"

<Carol> "Cess is my girlfriend... and she's not for sharing." Carol folded her arms.

<CaptMarvel> "Which is fine with me because Phyla doesn't share well - Phyla is my girlfriend."

<Bobby> "It is cross-dimensional!" Bobby cackled.

<CaptMarvel> "You wanna shove him this time or shall I get him again?"

<Bobby> "I should start shoving back." He cocked his head. "You know, I bet people would pay good money to have the two of you abuse them. You should ask Sharky about that."

<Carol> "Sebastian Shaw," Carol supplied to the questioning look, "Bobby calls him 'Sharky'."

<CaptMarvel> "Oh..." she wrinkled her nose, "I think I'll pass on making deals with versions of Sebastian Shaw."

<Bobby> "See! I like her!" Bobby nodded approvingly.

<CaptMarvel> "Everyone likes me, I'm awesome."

<Bobby> "All that and modesty too," he laughed.

<CaptMarvel> "Modesty is for people that aren't awesome," she assured him.

<Bobby> "I couldn't agree more." Yoda yipped, finally getting up the courage to sniff around the bright boots of Carol Number Two.

<CaptMarvel> She looked down at the dog again, "Awesome, I've been accepted by the dog."

<Bobby> "That is awesome, and proves your very awesomeness. Say hi to Yoda." He grinned at both women.

<Carol> Carol shook her head and laughed, "I prefer Yoda to the kid."

<CaptMarvel> She crouched to give the dog a fuss, "You really don't like kids, huh? Though I guess I'm not a fan of other peoples' kids... most other peoples' kids. There's two I'll make an exception for."

<Bobby> "So... how old is your kid? My daughter just turned two." He cocked his head, trying to imagine a Carol with a spawn.

<CaptMarvel> "She's six... but she doesn't look it... it's sort of complicated..."

<Bobby> "I would imagine... alien and all." His nose twitched as he considered this. "So... if you have aliens... do you have mutants? 'Cause... that's most of what we have around here..." Bobby pointed at himself in example.

<CaptMarvel> She looked up from the dog, "Yeah we have mutants, couple of the Avengers are mutants even. But we also have augmented humans on the team like Jess, who you met." She glanced at her other self.

<Bobby> "Augmented humans... sounds sketchy." He shot their Carol a glance. "Like something Essex would have tried." Wait. "Jess?"

<Carol> "They call her Spider-Woman there - she picked me up when I arrived there, gave me a tour of their base." Carol tossed in, "She looks the same."

<CaptMarvel> "In our reality her dad worked for Hydra and experimented on her when she was a kid with spider DNA. There was a whole thing..." She straightened up again, brushing her hair out of her face.

<Bobby> Eyes narrowed, he considered this. "So is our Jess an alien too?" Considering Broo...

<Carol> "I don't know why she would be," Carol blinked at Bobby.

<Bobby> "Mmmm, then you don't know her very well." He nodded to himself. Okay, maybe not alien, but that Viper crazy could have totally made her all spidery.

<CaptMarvel> "I know my Jess really well and... she's weird, granted, but she's not an alien. It's unlikely your Jess would be... but if you wanted to be sure you could talk her through the portal and we'll scan her too."

<Bobby> "Eeeeh, that's okay. I doubt she'd go for that, and while I like riling her shark up... I don't really want to actively piss him off since I gotta spend waaay more time with him than I really wanna."

<Bobby> Realizing she probably needed more info, he flapped a hand. "Our Jess? Jessica Shaw. She married mister shady himself."

<CaptMarvel> She wrinkled her nose, "Wow... Do I want to ask how that happened?"

<Bobby> Now he was enjoying this, and wriggled his fingers as if he was telling ghost stories around the campfire. "They even have a kid."

<CaptMarvel> "Oh! That sounds familiar." She now remembered the three floating heads, "Yeah Jess was pretty upset about the kid thing..."

<Bobby> His head cocked in confusion.

<CaptMarvel> "Don't get me wrong... my Jess has a kid, she's great... but they adopted her." But she felt a bit bad discussing personal stuff with someone who was essentially a stranger, regardless of how well he knew their version of her best friend.

<Bobby> "Yeaokay." He nodded, then realized what it probably meant. Ah, okay. Their Jess, not an alien then. Or a lab rat. Whatever. "They? So she's married too?" The curiosity was too much for him.

<CaptMarvel> "Yeah she got married when they were off pretending to be dead in China.... that was a weird year." She shook it off, "She married a SHIELD agent, who is also a mutant. So see? We totally have mutants."

<Bobby> "A SHIELD agent, huh?" He bit his lip, trying to think of mutant agents, but who knew? "A mutant Nick Fury? Actually, that'd be scary as fuck..."

<CaptMarvel> "There are days where I wonder if he's human but then I remember the LMDs and figure it doesn't matter... a Fury with super powers is a scary thought though." She frowned, "I don't know how many SHIELD agents you know... You might not even know who he is."

<Bobby> Bobby grinned. "Babe, I'm a SHIELD agent. Try me."

<CaptMarvel> "You know David Sum?"

<Carol> Carol blinked. "That David? Seriously?"

<Bobby> "Bwahahahaaaaaa!" He couldn't help it. Bobby doubled over, cackling like a loon. David! This... this was too good. Holy shit too good. "Oh... I'm gonna pass out!" He could not stop laughing.

<CaptMarvel> She watched Bobby for a moment, then leaned to mutter to her other self, "What did I do?"

<Carol> "David is... just... no..." Her brain had also stalled. "Weird. It's weird."

<Bobby> He wiped the tears from his face, and attempted to straighten up, though his shoulders still shook. "Wow... just..." Looking at their Carol, he shook his head. "Yeah, see! She knows what I mean. Just... no. Oh shit, this... this is golden."

<CaptMarvel> "I guess your David is all work and no play? Ours was like that... well he still is... somehow Jess distracted him long enough that he fell for her." She gave a shrug, "Must be all that tea."

<Bobby> "All work and no play and David is a really dull boy." He was still giggling. "But you might be onto something with the tea..."

<CaptMarvel> "No, really, she's just likeable and I guess he was impressed with the way she is in the field. All that spying practice she had with Hydra, probably." She gave a shrug.

<Bobby> It was real reassuring that the Hydra thing was apparently universal too. Bobby just nodded, still amused. "Sharky better watch his back."

<Carol> "Oh come on, he's not going to hit on a married woman... flirt with maybe." She knew he was a terrible flirt.

<CaptMarvel> "Good job he heals then..."

<Bobby> "Yeah, I'm just kidding," he chuckled, distracted when Yoda tugged the leash. "But that's still funny as hell... I don't know that he knows how to flirt. He's kinda..." Bobby searched for a word. "Stiff."

<Carol> Carol laughed, "Yeah... you've only seen him on duty. Whereas I used to hang out with him on base sometimes when we weren't doing anything. Work-mode David is really boring."

<Bobby> "I'll take your word for it, yeah." He whistled for the dog. "I get a kick out of it when he puts Hope in her place and kicks the junior shark's ass, but yeah... guess I don't know him that well." Now he'd totally have to watch.

<Carol> "I think you'd get along," Carol offered then turned to her other self, "We still have touring to do... wanna see our jet? It's nothing like the Quinjets you guys have but it's still pretty awesome."

<CaptMarvel> "I'm never going to pass up an opportunity to look at an experimental plane.... fly one, maybe. Last time I did that there was an incident... dinosaurs were involved."

<Bobby> "Okay, well, I'll let you two be... weird clones. Imma finish walking my dog, before he drags me off into the underbrush." He gave the colorful Carol a half salute. "Nice to meet you and all, stay cool!"

<CaptMarvel> "Nice to meet you," she raised a hand in a wave, deciding to look him up on the SHIELD database when she got home because now she was curious. "Alright, let's go see that jet."
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Re: 4/17 Instance: Seeing Double

Post by Starfish » Fri Apr 17, 2015 4:56 pm

This is some hilarious crack. :cracked

Meanwhile, Cessily tries and fails not to think of a Carol sandwich.

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Re: 4/17 Instance: Seeing Double

Post by Slarti » Fri Apr 17, 2015 7:06 pm

See, Bobby said Cess would be aaaaall over that!



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Re: 4/17 Instance: Seeing Double

Post by steyn » Fri Apr 17, 2015 7:17 pm

Also, yes, Rocket would probably sell the parts.

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