'Starter' Marriages.

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fourpawsonthefloor
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'Starter' Marriages.

Post by fourpawsonthefloor » Mon Sep 17, 2007 3:19 am

All I have to say is WTF

I don't consider myself a fuddy duddy, but this whole flippant way of viewing things really steams my noodles. People don't want to have to stick ANYTHING out anymore. Want something? Get a loan! Saving? What is that?? Husband? Think marriage out carefully and work through problems? Pffft. I'll just get a divorce and move on.

Arrgh.

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[Edited on 16/9/07 by fourpawsonthefloor]
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Post by Angelique » Mon Sep 17, 2007 4:49 am

While this is nothing new, I must join in the chorus of WTF about comparing spouses to hairstyles.
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Post by Feuerstein » Mon Sep 17, 2007 5:06 am

Desensualization. It's the new "in" thing. If nothing has any real worth, it won't pain you to lose it. That's the perspective of the Modern Day American.

Some people put very little value on marriage, or devotion to just one partner, anymore. And it seems to me that people have adopted a bit of a fatalist perspective. They go into a relationship, or anything, braced for its failure, because they're being "realistic". But sometimes a little faith is all it takes to get through the bad stuff. A lot of divorces have very little basis other than pride or unwillingness to compromise. People are selfish dammit.

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Post by Slarti » Mon Sep 17, 2007 4:53 pm

After starting to write a reply to this three times and deleting each one, I’m just gonna say I think Feuerstein hit it on the head, so I have nothing intelligent to add other than a resounding ARGH!

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Post by Saint Kurt » Tue Sep 18, 2007 12:47 am

I thought this was The Onion at first...

I think this pretty much sums it up:

[quote]It's easy to write these women off as callous or self-absorbed. And yet on some level, they just might be pioneers...[/quote]

Well, let's see...

[quote]"Oh, my God, it was so easy. I realized, I can get out of this, and he can get out of this, and we can get on with our lives.... I think marriage is the new dating and having kids is the new marriage," [/quote]

[quote]"...I'm watching Sex and the City and going, OK, so should I spend the next 20 years getting my heart broken and pretending that it's all in good fun? Or should I marry this dude I'm dating, have a gorgeous party, and make my parents really, really happy?"[/quote]

[quote]"You work toward this giant event, have an enormous party, then an hour after you get married, reality sets in. I was like, Oh, sh** — that didn't really solve anything."[/quote]

[quote]"It's like, if I thought I had to have my hair the same way for the rest of my life, I'd freak out."[/quote]


Hmmm. I'm going to go with callous and self-absorbed. I'm all for improving on old things, but I don't think I want this kind of pioneering.

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Post by wingyding » Tue Sep 18, 2007 1:03 am

Well hell people, if you don't want the commitment of marriage, what's the sensible option? don't get married yet. And as for making your parents happy, that ought to be their deal, not yours.
Post note: If you're worried about spending the next 20 years getting your heart broken, pick better men. hint: avoid those who cling to the floors of bars like a static cloth.
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Post by Esynthia » Tue Sep 18, 2007 2:13 am

tbh, I liked marriage.. until my husband started being a complete ass 24/7 and told me he cheated.
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fourpawsonthefloor
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Post by fourpawsonthefloor » Tue Sep 18, 2007 3:35 am

Well totes. I'm not saying divorce is bad, like...kick that ass to the curb. But the flippant view of it sets me on edge.

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Post by Garble » Wed Sep 19, 2007 1:56 am

See I always thought practice marriages were called "engagements".

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Post by Esynthia » Wed Sep 19, 2007 4:26 am

Originally posted by fourpawsonthefloor
kick that ass to the curb. But the flippant view of it sets me on edge.
I SO DID TOO! LOL

and totes, me too. And Garble is so right, engagements are practice marriages. In a way. Like, unless you live with that person, you can't get the whole effect, but it's pretty damn close.
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Post by Angelique » Wed Sep 19, 2007 6:10 am

Well, even if you live with a person, you may not get the full effect. I'd known of quite a lot of couples who lived together for years before getting married, then got divorced in months, because, as they said, "marriage changes people."
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Post by sovietxzion » Fri Dec 21, 2007 8:20 pm

I have to agree.. Marriage isn't for everbody and I learnt that the hard way. Got married after dating for six months and then i asked for a divorce on his birthday. Nice present eh? :yech

I've made a promise to myself that the next man i marry.. i will date him at least for 2 years before committing to anything like marriage.
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