Is ear-piercing child abuse?

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Slarti
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Is ear-piercing child abuse?

Post by Slarti »

A woman sees a young child in distress and calls the police, and she’s the one who gets in trouble. Here’s the original story and a blog on the KC Star site.

This one is kind of a toughie either way, because yeah, that woman did butt in but she wasn’t actively trying to cause trouble. On one hand, I know culturally a lot of folks pierce ears young, and who’s to legislate how a person raises their own children and interprets their own culture? On the other, I think police and Wal-Mart may have gone overboard by banning this woman who thought she was doing the right thing and trying to save a child pain… even if she was acting a little over her boundaries.
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Is ear-piercing child abuse?

Post by Saint Kurt »

My mother had my ears pierced when I was 4 years old. I vaguely remember it. I remember it hurt, but I also remember I was then taken out for ice-cream and to the "earring store", a little store called "Jade Palace" that sold asian jewelry (I have been fascintated with Japan all my life) to pick out my first ever "real earrings" to replace the starter studs when the time came.

To me it was a big day. I felt like a little adult picking out my very own pair of "real pierced earrings".

So I don't know...

It just shows you how important context is when judging any situation.

My mom had my ears pierced on the same day she had hers pierced. Why? Because when she was a kid she'd always wanted it, but because of her lousy upbringing she'd had to wait until she was in her thirties with a child of her own. She wasn't going to deny me that which she had so craved as a girl even though I had never actually asked for earrings myself.

Now, in retrospect, I'm glad my mom did it. Because I wore earrings at such a young age, now as an adult, I can go for years without them and the holes are still there in case of: fancy nights out, job interviews, and days I feel like putting earrings on.

That said, I'd hope however, if I'd kicked up that much fuss ... at least someone would have listened, even if it was a stranger. Luckily, I didn't and I'm pretty happy with my pierced ears. :)

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Is ear-piercing child abuse?

Post by Freak »

Well, question is: if a stranger would pierce a childs ear, it would be child abuse, if the parents do it it's fine.

Ok, I know there are differences :P But I'm biased. My mom dragged me to the store and my left ear pierced bc she thought it would look cool, so I'm walking around with a pierced ear for the rest of my life (the hole might have vanished, but you can still see where it was). Luckily enough I lost that darn thing a little bit later :shifty

So, to come back to issue: Butting in was right I think, overreacting wasn't, although the punishment is a bit harsh.

PS: I think I looked like a gay pirate with the earring, so call me Jack :sparrow
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Is ear-piercing child abuse?

Post by fourpawsonthefloor »

Well that is a slippery slope indeed.

I don't personally think if a child is reacting that badly, that you should go ahead and peirce. It just seems very traumatizing to me. Now that said I was a part of a party of people that went with my friends daughter who had one ear done at the age of 6 and then flipped out and went into full on panic mode which we then spent an hour talking her down from to get the other done. She was VERY happy with them afterwards though.

But if a child is that paniced, don't be forcing it on them. I can understand why the woman stepped forward. I hate that she's been villianized this much.

I don't think that all peircings should be in the same boat, though. Ie banning peircings under the age of 15 or whatever. My daughter, at 3 (she is such a strong willed child) nagged me for a solid 6 months about earrings, cause several of her friends had them from infancy. I told her flat out it was gonna hurt like the dickens several times, even right outside the store. She was quiet as a mouse, until she actually got them (they did both at the same time) and then she cried only for as long as it took them to lift the mirror up so she could see them.

So yeah. I think it needs to be a case by case issue. And be honest and prepare your kids, and listen to them.

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Is ear-piercing child abuse?

Post by Elwing »

in many southern european countries- Italy, Spain- it is customary for hospitals to pierce the ears of newborn girls. Part to save the parents the trouble later on, and part to make it easier to tell boys and girls apart. So it's a very cultural thing...
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Is ear-piercing child abuse?

Post by Slarti »

Yeah, it’s really all across the board on piercings. My grandmother never got hers done, and thought it was “trashy” even though her own mother had pierced ears. My mom didn’t pierce hers until she was 60 years old and then *I* had to hold her hand. For myself, I had to nag her for two years to get mine done the first time at 17, then I got seconds done at 19, more at 21… and then more at 25. ;)

My mom and grandma had worked it up into such a big deal and told me it was going to hurt sooooo bad, and it’d get infected, and my ears would stretch out, and blah, blah, blah including some fun racist comments, that I didn’t get the nerve until 17 to tell mom to shut up and sign the consent form. Even at 17, the family had scared me so much about it I about freaked out on the poor girl doing the piercing. So, I suppose one case could be made that the kid’s extreme freak-out could have been caused by other factors and after it was over with she’d be fine.

Honestly, I kind of like the idea of doing it really young – that way it’s over with and they’ll never really remember it clearly. And if they don’t want it as they get older… the holes do just tend to fill in. I don’t even have scars from the cartilage piercing I took out just two years ago.
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Is ear-piercing child abuse?

Post by littlebamf »

Yeah, I wasn't allowed my ears pierced until I was 15. Six years later, well, most of you know my piercing track record :P

I'm in agreement with the general opinion. The woman was right to get involved if the kid was freaking so much, but it just got really out of hand. But you an't just watch a kid crying like that, which is probably what caused the overreaction.

My friend is a piercer and she wont pierc the ears of small children and babies, generally anyone younger than about eleven, but I used to work in a section of this store that had a jewellry section that would pierce kids ears and some of the wails I heard were enough to make me reach for my headphones and plug into some nice distracting music.
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Is ear-piercing child abuse?

Post by fourpawsonthefloor »

Well...most people's do fill in. I had mind done at 13 yrs old, and though I can no longer wear earrings, and haven't (aside from a couple of 3 hour attempts) for the past 10 yrs, they are still there.

But yeah. Of all things, ear peircings are generally pretty tame.

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Is ear-piercing child abuse?

Post by The Drastic Spastic »

I'm very happy my parents didn't pierce my ears when I was a baby. I've never wanted any piercings and I probably never will. (Not a big jewellry fan. Even less of a body mod fan.) If they had though, I could just take the stupid things out. I do think the scar hole is sort of gross-looking, but not a huge deal.

So, not into piercing at all, but the lady who called the police was way out of line. Doesn't she know that the proper thing to do when someone's kid throws a megatantrum in public is to politely avert your gaze and move on? It's embarrassing enough to have your kid screeching her head off without getting the cops involved. Sure she was having a fit, but kids have fits all the time. I don't think you can judge the horror of an action by how a child reacts to it. I've seen red-faced brats flail around and pound their fists on the filthy store tiles because Mom won't buy them a pack of Pokemon cards. Like the police quoted in the article said, there's so much you don't know about what is happening. Maybe this kid was BEGGING to get earrings, Mom finally gives in, then the kid chickened out. But she knows that the whining to get earrings will start up again as soon as they are away from the scary piercing gun, so the kid is getting the damned earrings right now, no matter how much of a fuss she makes.
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Is ear-piercing child abuse?

Post by Slarti »

Originally posted by The Drastic Spastic
Maybe this kid was BEGGING to get earrings, Mom finally gives in, then the kid chickened out. But she knows that the whining to get earrings will start up again as soon as they are away from the scary piercing gun, so the kid is getting the damned earrings right now, no matter how much of a fuss she makes.
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Is ear-piercing child abuse?

Post by NachtcGleiskette »

I got my ears pierced before I was 1. My grandfather on my mother's side was Cuban and he insisted. Both me and my cousin had them done at that age. He had died by the time my sister was born and she begged and begged and begged to have them done until my mother relented when she was about 5. I never cared about earrings until about 5 years ago, but I'm rarely eithout a pair now :)
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Is ear-piercing child abuse?

Post by Amamelina »

I hope I"m not too late to add my two cents on this. I've got a bit of a story that might help out.

I got my ears pierced when I was 11. Now, that's old enough to say no and know what I'm getting in to. However, I also suffer from a pain disorder (which we didn't know about at that time) and some things hurt a lot worse then they should. I could barely stand to be hugged, so what made me think having holes poked in my body would be ok is beyond me.

Anyway, I was asked and i said ok. I wanted my ears pierced. That was a grown-up thing. My mom wore real earrings, so I wanted to.

My sister went first (she's younger then me). Then my cousin (also younger). Then it was my turn. And it hurt like heck! My pain disorder decided it didn't like earrings. My face turned red from teh pain, on both sides. I started to get hot and was screaming and even bled a tad.

At 11. now, i can sympathize with how painful it can be to get the ears pierced. I'm all for "Get it done early before they can remember pain". At the age of five, that's fine. Teh kid was probably scared. Yes, I would have stopped and said, "Next time" if taht was my kid. However, my kid will probably also have my disorder, so I'm probably piercing when the kid is like a few weeks old.

I don't think it's abuse. It's not going to damage teh kid and it's a one time thing. Most, if not all, parents go in with an idea that this will be something the kid will like. Very few, if all, go in with, "this will teach that little brat. I hope it hurts". Abuse isn't the idea that the kid will enjoy it in the long run. It's about power, control and pain. And punishment. Things that most normal people don't view piercing as.

Just my two cents.
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