Trolling people you know

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The Drastic Spastic
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Post by The Drastic Spastic » Thu Jun 12, 2008 9:59 pm

I don't know if it's trolling exactly but this lady that works for the same company (same job different location) emailed me to ask how work was going. I was like "not good! really not good!" and she sent back this loooooong email about how I should welcome Jesus into my life as my Lord and Savior. I sent back "I'm happy with my religion, do you know a good doctor in town?"

I imagine you can guess what came next. Another pile of words, basically "talk to me about Jesus, and I'll tell you about this great doctor".

Should I drop it, or is it okay to send back a big list of symptoms (I can't really wait I need to go today oh well I'll take my chances) and then ask how her job is going?

I am actually sick, and genuinely curious about her job.
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Post by fourpawsonthefloor » Thu Jun 12, 2008 10:04 pm

Oh damn Spaz, sorry that you are sick and sorry about this 'help' to boot. I would personally politely ignore the parts of her e-mail that you aren't intested in. If she's got any sort of compassion she'll still offer you a hand without demand that you talk religion to her first. That's a perversion of it in my humble opinion anyways.
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Post by Ult_Sm86 » Thu Jun 12, 2008 10:24 pm

okay here's how I would reply.


Dear Jesus Lover/co-worker/Affiliate from separate building/person who pushes her religion onto other people,

Jesus was a prophet and and soothsayer as well as an incredibly wise individual. He was a philosopher, a timid spirit, and a decent man. However, one of his most prominent teachings was to accept anyone or everyone, regardless of how they felt towards you or him, or his father for that matter. Now just because someone doesn't necessarily agree with your views in religion, this does not mean they should be any less loved by yourself, your "savior", and your employer.

Due unto others as you would like done to you. That said, would you appreciate it if someone of Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, or Satanist beliefs tried to ask you if you would please accept their religion first? Or asked you to believe in their God's/deity's,/golden calves first and foremost?

No. You would not. So why would you put the pressure of that statement onto me when all I really need is a decent doctor. If finding Jesus (where he's got to) would seriously be the only way to find me an affordable doctor who can help me out, I might consider it. However; this is not the only way.

There's also the phone book. Jesus didn't write that book, and I get far more answers out of it than I would the Bible.

Thank you anyways,

__________


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Post by The Drastic Spastic » Thu Jun 12, 2008 10:24 pm

It's not like she's the only lifeboat on the Titanic, which is why it feels like trolling to me. I don't really need her to help me with a doctor.

Just completely ignore the parts I don't like? Hmm.
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Post by fourpawsonthefloor » Thu Jun 12, 2008 10:28 pm

Well, the point is that the more you argue with her, the more compelled she is going to be to 'save' you or the more affirmation that you are giving her the feeling of richeousness. In other words, the more you feed the fire, the bigger it will get.

Ignore it and it invalidates it.
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Post by The Drastic Spastic » Thu Jun 12, 2008 10:29 pm

Originally posted by Ult_Sm86


That's how i'd do it. :toothy
Aren't you still in high school?

The reason I would ask her about a doctor is we are expats and if you just pick a random doctor, you are probably not going to get one who speaks much English. Also I've heard some bad stories about doctors here. One guy went in with pink eye and the doctor gouged a little piece out of his eyeball. Reasons unknown. Sore eyes is one of my symptoms, so you know, I'm scared.
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Post by The Drastic Spastic » Thu Jun 12, 2008 10:33 pm

Originally posted by fourpawsonthefloor
Well, the point is that the more you argue with her, the more compelled she is going to be to 'save' you or the more affirmation that you are giving her the feeling of richeousness. In other words, the more you feed the fire, the bigger it will get.

Ignore it and it invalidates it.
I wasn't planning on arguing, but just ignoring it completely hadn't occurred to me.
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Post by Ult_Sm86 » Fri Jun 13, 2008 12:06 am

Actually Spaz, i'm 21 and I've been in college for three years.


????

We each handle ourselves in our own unique ways. Personally, anytime anyone engages me in religion talk, especially in the work place, I make a point to get upset about it.

It's unconstitutional and also, it's not very tactful.
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Post by The Drastic Spastic » Fri Jun 13, 2008 9:27 am

Originally posted by Ult_Sm86
We each handle ourselves in our own unique ways. Personally, anytime anyone engages me in religion talk, especially in the work place, I make a point to get upset about it.

It's unconstitutional and also, it's not very tactful.
I'm Canadian and she is South African. Not sure what the constitution has to do with it. ;)
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Post by Slarti » Fri Jun 13, 2008 1:44 pm

Plus it's a Canadian and and a South African in South Korea, so extra special bonus points on 'pick your constitution' I imagine.

People like that drive me bonkers. I'd totally ignore her 'helpful' religious assistance too. If you don't really need her help on the doc, just asking again can't hurt and if she doesn't tell you, then oh well.

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Post by steyn » Fri Jun 13, 2008 2:03 pm

...err...you know not all South Africans are like that...right? I mean, some of us can be a bit....religious....but really, we're not like that. Frankly I think she thinks she's some kind of missionary in another country.

addon:
Oh, and bman, I don't think being like that towards someone like this would be very helpful. I mean, that's quite harsh really. Just say thanks, but you would really like to know if there's an affordable doctor around, and if she does it again, then you won't be getting anything else out of her. If you go on like bman says, then it would almost sound like you dislike all faiths, and she'll either think you're very rude for no reason, or you're a perfect soul to save.

[Edited on 13/6/2008 by steyn]

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Post by The Drastic Spastic » Fri Jun 13, 2008 4:12 pm

Originally posted by steyn
...err...you know not all South Africans are like that...right? I mean, some of us can be a bit....religious....but really, we're not like that. Frankly I think she thinks she's some kind of missionary in another country.
I've met several South Africans here, and most of them have been awesome.

I did kind of have an advance warning on her, one of the girls in town is leaving to join the ministry and when she talked about this lady being "church people" she seemed kind of uncomfortable, though when I pried into it for some dirt she wouldn't actually admit to anything. When even religious people are nervous, watch out!

Also, I haven't bothered to reply and found my own doctor. And then I found another one, because the first one felt my forehead with his hand and told me I was fine. Eesh.
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Post by steyn » Fri Jun 13, 2008 4:15 pm

Eesh. And good that you know that we are mostly awesome. :smug we are.

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Post by fourpawsonthefloor » Fri Jun 13, 2008 4:17 pm

Glad to hear that Spaz - I hope that you get some answers from the new doc and feel better soon :)
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Post by Ult_Sm86 » Fri Jun 13, 2008 11:41 pm

You hit the nail on the head Steyn ;)

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Post by steyn » Fri Jun 13, 2008 11:47 pm

Thanks, I try to please :D

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Post by The Drastic Spastic » Sat Jun 14, 2008 3:54 am

Originally posted by Ult_Sm86
You hit the nail on the head Steyn ;)

Religion + Bman = :lockheed
I was like that in high school too. :whistle ;)
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Post by Ult_Sm86 » Sat Jun 14, 2008 4:18 am

Har. Har.

Look the long & short of this is simply:

Bamfman doesn't appreciate people pushing religion onto other people. Ever. Not in any situation or any instance or at any point in time. Nor does he appreciate the spectacle of pushing one's "lack" of religion onto others either.
That said, if you fire at me, I fire back. Does it catch bees? Does it make friends? Do I put all my ducks in a row and count them, get to the goose, and run around screaming like a child? No probably not.

But it works for me. So far I've had little/few problems. Most people tend to avoid a long topic about religion and why they believe in it, or in anything really, and back their theories/beliefs/etc up, and would rather instead spend hours on end picking apart the person who said anything they don't believe in. Especially on forums. Especially on the internet. I wish someone would do a case study on behavior in forums vs behavior in the work place/homes/schools. I bet you see a lot more resilient strong willed people online then in class or parked in an office chair somewhere. And most likely they're the same person.

However; I always propose a question to someone who tries to talk God with me. So you're right Dras, what I said was not only immature but most likely not what I would say. After thinking about it, and having had this conversation in the time since I read this first post, I would indeed say this instead:

"You're right. Let's talk God. Why do you believe in him?"
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Post by The Drastic Spastic » Sat Jun 14, 2008 6:30 am

But I don't care why she believes in God. I just want to know about local doctors who aren't quacks and how many days vacation she's getting and whether she is allowed to use the regular book because I am not allowed to use the regular book and it's really stressful and I need as much evidence as possible that when I get another job it will not be the same not-allowed-to-use-the-regular-book shit all over again. It's just them! They suck! Not everyone!

You know, useful things.
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Post by fourpawsonthefloor » Sat Jun 14, 2008 5:41 pm

Some of the time, being the bigger person and smiling and nodding while they go on about something that they are so passionate about is the biggest gift of all, even if you don't believe a fricken word of it. If they are questioning something that strikes your core or talking about doing wrong to others...then yeah, step up. Other than that? Sometimes it's just better to leave it be. That's knowing the grace of the situation.

For some people it seems that nothing strikes their core and for others questioning the brand of toilet paper they use strikes their core. I think a happy medium is where you wanna be.
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Post by Saint Kurt » Sat Jun 14, 2008 9:14 pm

Here's the deal. I don't have any opinion on Spaz and her South African fellow ex-pat as far as what's appropriate and what's not. You have to work within the guidelines of the situation in order to do what's right. I do tend to go with an approach more like paws' in these kinds of situations, I don't go on the defensive unless I need to.

Here's why I don't think I would have needed to:

I have a theory on religious people who try to engage others in conversations about their faith that I call the "dessert theory". It's not a new theory of mine so if you've heard it, feel free to skip the rest of this post.

Still here? Okay, the dessert theory. The dessert theory has to do with thinking about why someone would chose to openly attempt to strike up a conversation about Jesus (or Buddha, or Mohammed or Zenu or whomever). I think about it like having a really really really good dessert you are eating.

Now, if you are the selfish sort, you'd be like "Damn! This dessert is AWESOME! And it's MINE!! HA!" and eat it all. But, if you're the sharing sort, you might turn to a friend and say "Damn! This dessert is AWESOME! Try some." Because for most of us, sharing things we like with our friends is enjoyable.

But then, let's say your friend's response was: "You total asshat! How dare you offer me chocolate! Don't you know I was raised with chocolate and I hate it? My father used to make me each chocolate every Sunday and my mom kept putting it in my lunches at school! I can't believe you are so insensitive! What if I gave you vanilla, huh? How would YOU feel?" And then they bludgeoned you with the U.S. constitution.

The point is, people share stuff that they enjoy because they like it and they hope you will too. That's it. For some reason it seems that people often assign a devious ulterior motive to anyone who brings up God in conversation. Sometimes maybe there is one, I don't know, but I think most of the time, there isn't; someone is just trying to share their dessert with you.

Religion is only a sensitive topic because we made it one. What about just: "No thanks, I don't like chocolate. Want to try my cheesecake? It's yummy. No? Well, that's cool too." We'd probably have a lot less wars if people stopped taking offense to the beliefs of others.

Oh, and back to Spaz's situation. I'm glad the doctor thing worked out.

-e
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Post by The Drastic Spastic » Sat Jun 14, 2008 9:30 pm

She wasn't offering me chocolate though. She was like, eat this chocolate that you've already told me you're not into, and I'll help you out with your medical problems. I'd call it blackmail before I'd call it dessert.
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Post by Angelique » Sun Jun 15, 2008 1:03 am

Originally posted by fourpawsonthefloor
Well, the point is that the more you argue with her, the more compelled she is going to be to 'save' you or the more affirmation that you are giving her the feeling of righteousness. In other words, the more you feed the fire, the bigger it will get.

Ignore it and it invalidates it.
Furthermore, call Jesus a "soothsayer," and she might take it as an insult. Proselytizing on the job can get an employee into trouble under some circumstances, but responding to that with an argumentative tone can ensure you'll get in trouble as well, for the fundamental reason that coworkers should be at least polite toward each other.

Spaz, I'm glad to hear you got a good doctor. I, for one, would be curious if your coworker was the sort who would let a person who'd just lost a leg bleed while trying to save their souls. "Ask me about Jesus. Then I'll call an ambulance and tourniquet your leg."

She reminds me of why St. Francis said, "Preach the Gospel at all times. Use words if necessary." She would have done a much better job just giving you the medical referral.

That being said, I do like SK's dessert analogy.
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