Kurt's New Girlfriend (Feb/March Writting Challenge Entry)

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BlueVelvet14
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Kurt's New Girlfriend (Feb/March Writting Challenge Entry)

Post by BlueVelvet14 »

Kurt's New Girlfriend

Tiarah Ishtara was new to Xavier's school. She was raised by her mother, Vertigo of The Mauraders. Vertigo's stone cold heart lead to Tiarah's belief that she could never find love. She thought about this evey year, on Valentine's Day. She thought about how alone she was and how she could never seem to keep her ex-boyfriend's spirits alive within her.
As she walked down the hallway to her room, she bumped into Nightcrawler, her recent crush.
"Kurt! Im so sorry. I- I-"
"It's okay. Where were you heading?"
"My bedroom, I-"
At that moment, Kurt teleported her into her bedroom.
"Hand me my air freshener, please."
She pointed to a small can of Lysol on her dresser. He grabbed it and asked her,
"What's that for?"
"Ever smelt your teleports?"
He smiled and sat on the bed. His prehensiled tail waved form side to side slowly. His hands were behind his back in a very suspicious manner. Tiarah moved toward her mirror and grabbed a rag that she dipped into a bowl of water, which she dabbed on her face. She noticed Kurt looking at her with relaxed eyes.
"What's up, fuzzy?"
He looked up and asked her to come over to him. As she did, she stopped.
"Kurt, why are you acting so -"
Before she could finish, he held a large bouquet of roses in her face. She noticed the residue from the price tag adhesive stuck to her chin when he pushed it in her face, which was now content.
"Oh, Kurt! There beautiful!"
"I have something else for you, mein liebe."
He pulled out a small bag of freshly baked cookies. She immediatly smelled the intense aroma of dark chocolate as it struck her senses.
"Thank you!"
Attached to the bag was a card with hand drawn art. It wasn't great art, but she made out the shape of an angel in the center of a heart. When she opened it, a small poem was written in it:
Roses are red;
My skin is blue:
I've got nothing else to say
Except I love you.
You have to admit, it was sweet. She read his mind and found out it was his only solution since he forgot to buy an actual card for her.
"Kurt, you didn't have to do this for me."
"You know you can't hide it. I know youlove me, and you know I love you. Let's seal the deal."
He held her so close, it felt like she was clutching one of her stuffed animals. He held her tight in his casket of eternal affection. Finally, they leaned into each other...

... and kissed.




I hope you have enjoyed my story. Thank you for reading.

[Edited on 2/18/08 by BlueVelvet14]

[Edited on 2/21/08 by BlueVelvet14]

[Edited on 2/21/08 by BlueVelvet14]
Rowena
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Kurt's New Girlfriend (Feb/March Writting Challenge Entry)

Post by Rowena »

All in all, I did enjoy it. Short and sweet, very nice. Thank you very much! :D

Just a few notes: If you're planning to enter this in the writing challenge, please note that the rules state you have to indicate that in the title. For example: Kurt's New Girlfriend (My Valentine's Story) Feb/March Writing Challenge Entry. Doing that makes it official, see? :D Before you do that, though, there were a few spelling errors you may want to fix (prehensile, stuck, they're, mein Liebchen, each other...). Also, the word love should be in bold, since it's on the Word List, and you're missing the word casket. All these are very minor little edits, but you'll be surprised at the cosmetic effect they'll have on your story. You want your readers to see the cuteness of your story, not the stumbles.

Great story, BlueVelvet14! I really hope you enter it in the contest! :D
"There are worlds out there where the sky is burning, where the sea's asleep and the rivers dream, people made of smoke and cities made of song. Somewhere there's danger, somewhere there's injustice and somewhere else the tea is getting cold. Come on, Ace, we've got work to do."
~The Doctor, Survival

"There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes."
~The Doctor, Robot

"If this isn't civilization, why am I standing in a bomb crater?"
~Hawkeye Pierce, M.A.S.H.

Rowena Zahnrei's Stories: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/526713/Rowena_Zahnrei
BlueVelvet14
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Kurt's New Girlfriend (Feb/March Writting Challenge Entry)

Post by BlueVelvet14 »

Well, I'm no expert on German or anything, but the saying "ich libiche dich" is German for "I love you", right?
Kurt is basically calling Tiarah "My love". I did not intend for him to say "Liebchen".

But, thank you for the corrections. I'll edit it as soon as I can. Auf Weidersien!:wave
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Kurt's New Girlfriend (Feb/March Writting Challenge Entry)

Post by Rowena »

The edits look good! Thanks for putting in the effort! :D

Actually, the German for "I love you" is "Ich liebe dich." Liebe is the first person singular of the verb lieben, which means "to love."

If you want Kurt to say "My love," you could use meine Liebe. The classic movie-loving Kurt also often uses the rather old fashioned mein Liebchen, meaning "sweetheart" or "my little love" (-chen is a diminutive suffix). A more modern expression would be mein Schatz, or simply Schatz, which means "treasure" and can be the equivalent of "honey" or "darling" as a term of endearment.

Also, if you're ever unsure of what German words to use, or whether you're using them correctly, the best thing to do, really, is not to use them. Use the English. If you really, really want to use German, don't be afraid to ask around, do a bit of research, and find out how to use it correctly. No one will think any less of you for asking. Quite the contrary, people will really appreciate that you care enough to get it right. :)

I hope this was helpful! Again, this is a very nice story and I really do hope you enter it in the contest. Auf Wiedersehen!

:bamf
"There are worlds out there where the sky is burning, where the sea's asleep and the rivers dream, people made of smoke and cities made of song. Somewhere there's danger, somewhere there's injustice and somewhere else the tea is getting cold. Come on, Ace, we've got work to do."
~The Doctor, Survival

"There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes."
~The Doctor, Robot

"If this isn't civilization, why am I standing in a bomb crater?"
~Hawkeye Pierce, M.A.S.H.

Rowena Zahnrei's Stories: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/526713/Rowena_Zahnrei
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