~Uh new fic. Im not the best wrighter but the DEVIL TOLD ME TO lol. but ya here it is.~
The Brimstone Of The Devil
For decades man has told tales of the Ruler of the Demons. Called many things for all the different societies on Earth. Semihazah, Duma, Keriel, Mastema, Beliar, Gadreel, Beelzebub, Satan... But he likes to be called: Azazel….
Salem Center, New York.
Xavier’s Institute For Higher Learning, Kurt Wagner’s Room.
Kurt sat there, yet again, T.V. switched on and a large tub of chocolate ice cream held up between his feet. He had two spoons, one in each three-fingered hand, and the T.V. remote in his tail.
Channel surfing, again..
“Boring… Lame…”
Another ad sounded up, “For this limited time get this Hair Begone! In two simple steps your hair could be gone and it will last up to seven weeks!”
"Hmmm…”
Click.
“AHH! NO MORE DISCOVERY CHANNEL!”
Click.
The T.V. shut off onto a black screen. Standing up, Kurt put the chocolate ice cream back in his freezer. Walking over to the mirror he stared deeply into it.
The image in the mirror changed in front of Kurt’s eyes, his reflection no longer blue but red. He staggered back and the man in the mirror walked out, his voice cold and stern.
"What’s wrong child… did you miss me?”
((now ill finish it like huhy))
Ryo
The Brimstone Of The Devil
The Brimstone Of The Devil
"There are things that go bump in the night. We are the ones who bump back." ~Professor Broom~
"When you see red: Stop. When you see blue: Bamf. And when you see the ground.. Well, I told you to stop."
~Ryo and Hushy~
"When you see red: Stop. When you see blue: Bamf. And when you see the ground.. Well, I told you to stop."
~Ryo and Hushy~
The Brimstone Of The Devil
Hey, I dig this beginning. There were a few things wrong with it, though, other than the rather sporadic punctuation and spacing. First of all, "did you miss me?" is not a very novel line for the bad dude to say. It's a classic, yes, but it would be cool to think of something else there.
My second thought is that you got the plot going too quickly. Most stories develop the setting of the character, the character's personality, and the general gist of their normal life before jumping into the plot. Now, it can be argued that we all already know all that, but everyone has a different take on the X-world. Is Kurt in love with anyone? Who? Who's alive and who's not- some people have Jean dead before it gets going, some don't. And/or: hint at Kurt's awareness of this problem before it arises. Does he know the devil is coming after him?
Not a bad beginning, but leaves some necessary questions unanswered. Keep at it, though.
In return, I would love you forever if you'd reply to my piece "The Bloodmetal Candidate". It's not a long read right now, so if you pick it up it won't take you a year to get to the present.
PS, after reading again, carefully: That's awesome that Kurt has his own fridge!
My second thought is that you got the plot going too quickly. Most stories develop the setting of the character, the character's personality, and the general gist of their normal life before jumping into the plot. Now, it can be argued that we all already know all that, but everyone has a different take on the X-world. Is Kurt in love with anyone? Who? Who's alive and who's not- some people have Jean dead before it gets going, some don't. And/or: hint at Kurt's awareness of this problem before it arises. Does he know the devil is coming after him?
Not a bad beginning, but leaves some necessary questions unanswered. Keep at it, though.
In return, I would love you forever if you'd reply to my piece "The Bloodmetal Candidate". It's not a long read right now, so if you pick it up it won't take you a year to get to the present.
PS, after reading again, carefully: That's awesome that Kurt has his own fridge!
The Brimstone Of The Devil
uh thanks for the advice. The plot will develop as seen in the next part it was just a dream.
I do not own marvel or any of there charcters... Nothing here is mine.... I OWN NOTHING **crys**
Kurt woke up. Huffing and puffing. The covers that used to lay on top of his have since then been kicked off. Hurrying out of his bed he hurried down the hallway. Stopping at Scott’s and Emma’s room he started knocking extremely fast. Opining the door was a half asleep un clean shaven only in boxer shorts Scott.
”Kurt…” He yawned, “Do you know what time it is?”
“Of cause I know what time it is I do own a clock I need to speak to Emma” Kurt said in a harsh tone not like his usually cheery one.
Emma staggered to the door. Surprisingly wearing more than he has ever seen her in! “Emma I need you to do a search for my father I had this dream and…”
”Kurt your are not a psychic it was just a dream I am insulted that you would even consider waking me and Scott up at this hour. Do you know what time it is”
”I KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS!”
“There is no need to shout I will use cerebra to locate your father. On one condition”
”Yes sure anything!”
”You put some cloths on. This is a school”
Ryo
I do not own marvel or any of there charcters... Nothing here is mine.... I OWN NOTHING **crys**
Kurt woke up. Huffing and puffing. The covers that used to lay on top of his have since then been kicked off. Hurrying out of his bed he hurried down the hallway. Stopping at Scott’s and Emma’s room he started knocking extremely fast. Opining the door was a half asleep un clean shaven only in boxer shorts Scott.
”Kurt…” He yawned, “Do you know what time it is?”
“Of cause I know what time it is I do own a clock I need to speak to Emma” Kurt said in a harsh tone not like his usually cheery one.
Emma staggered to the door. Surprisingly wearing more than he has ever seen her in! “Emma I need you to do a search for my father I had this dream and…”
”Kurt your are not a psychic it was just a dream I am insulted that you would even consider waking me and Scott up at this hour. Do you know what time it is”
”I KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS!”
“There is no need to shout I will use cerebra to locate your father. On one condition”
”Yes sure anything!”
”You put some cloths on. This is a school”
Ryo
"There are things that go bump in the night. We are the ones who bump back." ~Professor Broom~
"When you see red: Stop. When you see blue: Bamf. And when you see the ground.. Well, I told you to stop."
~Ryo and Hushy~
"When you see red: Stop. When you see blue: Bamf. And when you see the ground.. Well, I told you to stop."
~Ryo and Hushy~
The Brimstone Of The Devil
Now I'm intrigued. So this has to do with his father? Niiice. I'll be around to see this one...good job so far. The one question I had is- who's Emma? A made-up character, I assume?
Can you check out my piece?
Can you check out my piece?