Prelude: A Nightcrawler Graphic Play (2 scenes)
Posted: Wed Feb 19, 2014 10:30 pm
i edited this play and posted it in this thread down below. Thanks.
creators • friends • nightcrawler
https://nightscrawlers.com/forum/
I understand completely. I struggled with whether I should write accents phonetically or mention their existence, sometimes with a note from the POV character, and use syntax to convey speaking styles. After reading various takes on it, I ended up going mostly with the latter. I sprinkle Kurt's speech with the occasional German word or phrase because that's how he's been established as speaking and will have him think in German, but the accent is left to the imagination of the reader.sungila wrote:Finding Kurt's voice has been difficult and I consider it perhaps the most crucial part of writing his story, so your criticism is valued and important.
I married a German and live in Germany, so I'm learning the language and get to hear Germans speak English on a regular basis. If I've learned nothing else, it's that the Hollywood version of the accent we Americans usually get to hear is almost always comically overdone. Just keep in mind that Kurt's been living in a situation where English is the dominant language for the better part of a decade. He's had a lot of practice speaking English, so any mistakes he makes will likely be intentional.I've checked this post too much, hoping to hear anything from anybody...I put a lot of care and heart into writing that piece and even have gone over it with a few writer friends of mine that actually 'encouraged' me to use MORE dialect and MORE of Kurt's accent... and i do want to do that...but I German isn't my language and I certainly don't want to sacrifice any meaning for a nuance.
I can tell you like to play with themes and poetic imagery. That even I can follow it must mean you're doing it with a good level of clarity. The stream-of-consciousness style sits well on a guy thinking aloud. You're looking to give him somewhat of a fresh start, yes? He could definitely use one, so I think it works so far.Forgive me for asking - but do you have any feelings about the content...the writing, the ideas of the piece thus far.
Is the meaning you're aiming for "that's right"? If so, "das stimmt" would be better.It was a long night, es stimmt.
This reads a little funny because "es" is "it" in German and "is" in Spanish. Perhaps go full German?ja, das es true
*meinmien poor family
This is EXACTLY right Wahnsinn! X-Men comics have been multi-lingual, multicultural and progressively diverse ever since Claremont and Cockrum brought us the 'new' tribe...and it has been an evolution in making their ethnic and gender identities less stereotypical and more individual expressions of singular selves. Writing Kurt now, I feel like there's a certain responsibility to further this progression.Wahnsinn wrote:I sprinkle Kurt's speech with the occasional German word or phrase because that's how he's been established as speaking and will have him think in German, but the accent is left to the imagination of the reader.
Ah ha! Well, that's incredible and explains some of your expertise in this are...but your insights come from a deeper emotional intelligence that i greatly appreciate. I could've easily fallen prey to writing Kurt all wrong - and i can't believe how easily I fell into that 'overdone' tendency us Americans have when it comes to Hollywood accents. Even if Kurt might sometimes enjoy accenting his accent for flare...like you say - he knows who he is and his typical voice should reflect his sensitivity, intellect, experience and natural confidence.Wahnsinn wrote:I married a German and live in Germany, so I'm learning the language and get to hear Germans speak English on a regular basis. If I've learned nothing else, it's that the Hollywood version of the accent we Americans usually get to hear is almost always comically overdone. Just keep in mind that Kurt's been living in a situation where English is the dominant language for the better part of a decade. He's had a lot of practice speaking English, so any mistakes he makes will likely be intentional.
Wahnsinn wrote:I can tell you like to play with themes and poetic imagery. That even I can follow it must mean you're doing it with a good level of clarity. The stream-of-consciousness style sits well on a guy thinking aloud. You're looking to give him somewhat of a fresh start, yes? He could definitely use one, so I think it works so far
It really did become the Everybody team after Giant Size #1, didn't it? My first exposure to the X-Men was the pilot cartoon "Pryde of the X-Men." Despite the horrible accents and cheesiness, it's somehow endearing. There's a strength to what Claremont and his collaborators built. Or maybe it's just that I, as an outsider with a varied heritage, found it easy to connect with that setup. They're a team not defined by their backgrounds but by their connection--individuals who come together to work as a unit, and even as a family. The loss of that family element in recent years really stole something from the X-line.sungila wrote:This is EXACTLY right Wahnsinn! X-Men comics have been multi-lingual, multicultural and progressively diverse ever since Claremont and Cockrum brought us the 'new' tribe...and it has been an evolution in making their ethnic and gender identities less stereotypical and more individual expressions of singular selves. Writing Kurt now, I feel like there's a certain responsibility to further this progression.
You flatter me! Thank you.Ah ha! Well, that's incredible and explains some of your expertise in this are...but your insights come from a deeper emotional intelligence that i greatly appreciate. I could've easily fallen prey to writing Kurt all wrong - and i can't believe how easily I fell into that 'overdone' tendency us Americans have when it comes to Hollywood accents. Even if Kurt might sometimes enjoy accenting his accent for flare...like you say - he knows who he is and his typical voice should reflect his sensitivity, intellect, experience and natural confidence.
It's easy to swing the pendulum too far, so don't be hard on yourself. It takes a little time to find that happy middle, and it sounds like you're getting there quickly. Stay true to who Kurt is in your head, and you'll be fine.Thanks for helping me with the German that i felt I should keep. I'll definitely take heed and make the changes you suggest.
And yes! i will keep that Hail Mary in German... (this is about who i am intending this audience to be) i guess i fell for that other Hollywood trap of aiming my message too the ever broad adolescent reader rather than the individuals, like yourself...and the other nightscrawlers... folks that wouldn't mind scrolling to a footnote and may appreciate the 'feel' of Kurt offering his prayer as he learned it and as he has carried it with himself over the decades.
I would have been all over a Kurt GN. I was just starting to get into comics in the mid-'90s, and the first thing I did was collect the entire Excalibur run.What do you think? i just wish Cockrum was around to grandfather the idea...or anybody's idea...sigh
Ha! Yes, you do have an accent.And yes, you caught me... i thought i was a poet for a long time... i studied poetry, wrote poetry, published poetry, lived poetry...but thanks or blames to Shakespeare, Claremont and Bendis...i never really ever stopped being a comics guy...and eventually there was a reckoning and BAMF... i stopped being 'that' kind of poet ;-) but i guess i still have an accent...
You're gonna give me a big head! I'm happy to keep providing whatever help I can. Working with other writers helps me learn, too. As you learn from me, I learn from you!Sincerely, Wahnsinn you're amazing!
Your help and super insights have been a great help already and I hope we can continue this.
Outside of his mopey period and serious moments, I imagine a playfulness in his tone. He wants to bring joy, and he has a mischievous streak. He is rarely cold and often thoughtful. He has a man's voice, but it's not overly deep and has that charming, gentle German accent. It's an appealing voice, one a girl could wrap herself up in like a blanket.When you 'hear' Kurt's voice - what's it say, sound like - how do you 'know' it's him?