April / May challenge Entry: Skipping parts

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April / May challenge Entry: Skipping parts

Post by Scumfish » Wed Apr 30, 2008 8:02 pm

Dude. Awesome. I like.

Okay. Need to go work on mine now. :shifty
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April / May challenge Entry: Skipping parts

Post by steyn » Wed May 07, 2008 10:11 pm

Itsy bitsy, teeny weeny, update on the story.....orry. Err...yeah, anyway, small update, because I can't seem to think that well lately.

______________________


Sufficed it to say everyone had a slight shock seeing Steyn materialize right in the middle of the meeting they had on the latest animations everyone had done the day before. Jaws had dropped and breaths were gasped, but the silence had to break sometime.

“I….I have to go,” Steyn said, grabbing his bag next to his computer and ran down the stairs and out of the front door.

“Open you stupid thing!” He yelled at the car, repeatedly pressing the unlock button on the key. He fell more then climbed in the drivers seat , hand shaking as he tried to push the key in the ignition.

“Fffffffffuck!” he yelled when the key went in but didn’t want to turn. It always did that. The trick was that you had to push it in and then turn, unfortunately he had other things on his mind to remember that small piece of information.

He let go of the keys and grabbed the steering wheel, griping tight and screamed through clenched teeth, eyes tight shut. Something was really wrong with him. He just wanted to go home. He didn’t want to drive, he didn’t want to go to the doctors, or talk to his parents. He just wanted to go home.

After the scream he felt a little relaxed. A little disoriented too. And incredibly sleepy. He opened his eyes, and everything seemed blurry. He wiped his palms against his eyes, and took a look around again. He was parked in front of his home.

That wasn’t right. And what’s worse was that his lower back felt like something as poking against him. His hand reached behind him, and the small knob wasn’t as small as he could remember.

He fumbled in his bag for his cellphone, and then in his wallet for the doctor’s number.

The conversation that followed were made out of random sputterings of the words ‘help’, ‘appointment’, ‘now’ and the sentence ‘I don’t care which doctor, I need to know what the hell is wrong with me’. The conversation also had more exclamation marks then period marks.

After he pressed the red end call button, Steyn had an appointment with a doctor that practiced medicine in the same building as the one he called for. This other doctor usually took in the first doctor’s patients when he was himself off sick or away from the office.

The appointment was for one o’clock, and it was around twelve already. He needed something to calm the nerves.

Steyn sat down on the couch with his tea. Shifting to get comfortable with that thing growing on his lower back, and spilling a couple of drops on the floor. He decided to take care of those later after his tea.

Half way through he placed the cup on the small table in front of him, and laid back, his eyelids feeling heavy. He was just taking a break, nothing big like a nap.

That was what he thought a minute before falling asleep.

An hour later he woke up startled and checked his watch while swearing. It was five past one. He was so insistent on getting an early appointment and now he was going to miss it too.

The swearing commenced as he grabbed his keys and headed out of the door, and kept on thinking of going to the doctors office. The one doctor’s office was almost next door to the one he usually goes to. Actually it was two doors down. He always wondered what was in that room between the two doctors when he walked past it.

Steyn opened the car door, still thinking about his doctors office, and sat down in the car seat, only to fall further landing on his behind on the carpeted floor of the hallway in which the two doctors and the mystery door were situated.

“er…ow?”

[Edited on 7/5/2008 by steyn]

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April / May challenge Entry: Skipping parts

Post by Scumfish » Wed May 07, 2008 10:20 pm

Hee!! I love this fic. Am amused and want to hug Steyn.

*really must start work on his fic too....*
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April / May challenge Entry: Skipping parts

Post by Elfdame » Fri May 09, 2008 4:14 pm

The conversation with his dad reminds me of Abbot & Costello's "Who's On First." It has a nice, snappy rhythm to it. Well done.

And the naked in the hospital routine was priceless. Kinda like when Nightcrawler's uniform disappeared in NC #2. I was waiting for the nurse to call the psych unit or something! But her response was realistic.

"No clothes to cover up that blush." What a GREAT line. Kudos.
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April / May challenge Entry: Skipping parts

Post by steyn » Sat May 10, 2008 9:01 pm

Decent update today. There might be some problems here in the story, either because I don't know that much about doctors, only from what I have had at first hand experience, and toher problems might be because the fact I haven't had a decent proofread through the story. >< eyes was starting to burn.

so anyway.

___________________________


At least he was at the right place, he thought. And only a couple minutes late, but that didn’t mean much to the receptionist when Steyn told her he was there for his appointment.

“It would be preferred that you came half an hour earlier, you still have forms to fill in.” It was clear to Steyn that she wasn’t having such a great day.

He took the form on the clipboard and filled in everything he could remember and then had to pull out his wallet to fill in the insurance parts. When he finished he walked up to the receptionist and it was almost fifteen minutes. He was horrible at filling out forms.

“The doctor will be with you in a minute,” she said forcing a smile.

Steyn just forced his own smile and nodded, turning back to the chair he was sitting at. He sat in silence for almost five minutes before he reached out for a magazine on the small table next to him. He stopped when the doctor’s door opened, a child with his mom walking out, followed by the doctor.

The doctor walked over to the receptionist, taking the three packs of papers on the desk, looking through them and asked, “Mr. De Kock?”

Steyn smiled at him and stood up.

“Hello, this way please,” he gestured to his office.

The office looked what all doctor’s offices looked like. Desk, pictures, diplomas and certificates. At the back was another door that stood open. Steyn could see a hospital bed with other hospital tidbits.

The doctor sat behind his desk, making a quick note in what appeared to be Steyn’s file. He finally looked up from the papers.

“Sorry about that, been a bit slow on the office side of my job. Right what seems to be the problem?” he asked, glancing up at Steyn’s forehead from every now and again.

“This morning I found a lump on my back… er... lower back. I was worried that it might be cancer... and… do I have something on my face?” Steyn asked feeling for his head.

He didn’t find anything on top of his head, but when his hand slid lower he could feel small hard things sticking out of his forehead. The skin around them was very sensitive. They were at the same place he thought two zits was starting. They weren’t the blemishes he thought they were.

“What the hell?” he asked.

The doctor got up and walked around the desk, “Look up to me, hold still for a moment,” he said, his hand holding lightly at Steyn’s head, eyes going from one of the bumps to the other.

“I think it would be better if I take a look at them in better light. This way please,” he said.

“Hop on the bed and lie down,” and Steyn did as he was told, lying back on the bed.

The doctor put on a pair of glasses that hanged on his shirt’s pocket and examined Steyn’s head, asking things such as “How does it feel?”, “Does this hurt?”, “When did you first notice the bumps?” and so forth.

“This is rather unusual…seems like abnormal growths from the skull…protruding the skin…they’re almost like…” the doctor didn’t say anything else.

“Like what?” Steyn asked, a bit nervous.

“Nothing... nothing to worry about for the moment. You said you found something on you back?”

“Yeah, err..” he looked around.

“Very well then, just roll on your stomach and lift your shirt to where it is.”

Steyn winced slightly and he shifted, accidentally putting pressure on the thing behind him. He turned and lifted his shirt a bit, and then put his arms under his head, and laid like that.

“Hmm…”

That sound from the doctor wasn’t very reassuring. Steyn felt a hand on the nub and a slight shiver ran up his spine.

“Do you mind pulling your jeans down slightly?”

Steyn pulled at his jeans a little then had to sit up, feeling a little embarrassed as he had to loosen the belt, and then laid down again, and pulled the jeans lower. He wanted to kick himself for not wearing underwear that day.

“And you said it was a bump this morning?”

“Yeah...why? How big is it?” Steyn asked.

The doctor turned to look through a drawer, pulling out a small measuring tape, and showed Steyn the length he measured, thumb holding it a little above ten centimeter.

“Ten centimeter’s, almost eleven. This is…unusual. It looks like an extension of you spine, but…can you feel this?” he asked, lightly holding the tip.

“Yeah.”

He moved his hold more to the middle. “And this, where do you feel my fingers now?”

The feeling tingled over his skin. “About halfway down I think.”

“Heh,” escaped the sound from the doctor. “And here?”

“At the beginning...” it felt really weird. It tickled a lot actually as the doctor was pulling it from side to side. Steyn shuffled against the bed slightly.

The doctor took a step back, his hand suddenly pulled back. Steyn looked up at him.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“It moved.”

That was a slight shocker to Steyn.

“I can’t tell you much about this…this is the first time in my life I’ve seen something like this.” He held his arms in front of his chest deep in thought, still staring at Steyn’s lower back.

“So it’s not cancer?”

“I doubt that very much. No cancer I know of grows that fast….besides…there’s bone in that.” The doctor didn’t want to use the only name for it that came to mind. It can’t be a tail. It can not be a tail. he kept thinking.

“So what is it?”

“A tail.” He said cursing himself for saying that.

“What?”

“Like I said, it looks like an extension of the spine…but…when something like that happens, it’s only found in new born babies….and it doesn’t have muscles like yours have.”

“What do you mean muscles like mine have?”

“I mean your tail wagged.” He was biting his tongue, holding back laughter.

Steyn could clearly see the doctor was highly amused by that. “It’s not funny.” He said sitting up on the bed.

The doctor nodded, a tear starting at his eye. “I’m sorry, this is just so…surreal.”

The humour in the doctor’s voice was infectious and Steyn’s own mouth cracked a grin.

They both started snorting and that quickly turned to laughter. After a small while the laughter died.

“Oh I haven’t laughed like that in months.” The doctor said wiping away the tears from his eyes. “Lie back on your stomach, I need to look at your… err… the… err…”

“Tail. Just say it.”

“Yes, I need to see your tail again.” And Steyn was back on his stomach.

The doctor adjusted his glasses, and took a close look at the…tail.

“Absolutely remarkable.”

The attention the doctor was giving the tail made Steyn blush, glad that his face was buried in his arms. It was really embarrassing.

“Steyn, you can sit up and get dressed. There’s nothing much I can do now. Unfortunately I have quite a couple appointments still waiting for me, but I would like you to make another appointment if you don’t mind.”

The two moved back to the office area, both sitting back down at the desk. Steyn rubbed at the things at his head.

“Like I said, make another appointment with the receptionist, I really want to see you again. This is… yeah, well, something really new to me.” He looked at the small protrusions on Steyn’s head.

“I’m expecting those to grow more, and I think that the skin might be very sensitive,” he took out his little book and scribbled something on it. He checked Steyn’s forms again, “Not allergic to anything, are you?” he asked to make sure.

“Nope,” Steyn answered.

The doctor nodded, ripped out the sheet he wrote on and gave it to Steyn, “Pick this up at the pharmacy, it’ll help soothe irritation. Just take a drop for each and rub it in lightly.”

Steyn nodded. “You said something about them…when you were checking them out..”

“Hmm?”

“You said they looked like something…are they you know…”

“Oh, yes. Yes, they do like them don’t they. Not many people come into my office growing a tail and horns.”

Steyn blushed yet again.

“There doesn’t seem to be anything wrong from what I can see, except for the itching at your…um... forehead. We’ll need to do more tests though.”

“Okay.”

The doctor went on, talking with Steyn about his new additions to his body, the word mutation even dropped in the conversation.

Outside in the waiting room the receptionist was trying to explain to an old couple where everything needed to be written in the forms.

Steyn and the doctor finally came out of the office, and the amount of people that waited had grown.

“Melissa, Mr. De Kock will need to see me again,” he said while looking at the new forms on th counter, and shifted to the one that needed looking at.

“Mrs. Meyer? Would you please follow me?” The doctor asked, gesturing the door to his office, disappearing with Mrs. Meyer behind the door.

Steyn turned his attention back to the receptionist.

“How is next week Thursday, is that okay?” she asked. She seemed to have gotten a lighter mood since he was in the office.

“Yeah, sounds good.” He said, taking the small doctor’s card from her with the appointment’s date and time on it.

“Thanks” he said and turned for the door and walked out, hands going over his pockets in search for his keys, then remembering how he got there, cringing. Atleast he didn’t live that far from the doctor’s building.

Half an hour into walking his way home, he tripped over and fell on his soft bed. He started laughing, knowing the last thing he thought of was how nice it is to just lie on his bed.

Man he needed to tell someone about that. His hand went to his…tail. He pulled back a little when the thing actually did move at his touch. He made it move.

Only bad thing now was waiting until later the day when people was in the chatroom he usually visited.

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April / May challenge Entry: Skipping parts

Post by Scumfish » Sat May 10, 2008 9:09 pm

Woo!! Fantasic read, Steyn :D
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April / May challenge Entry: Skipping parts

Post by steyn » Sat May 10, 2008 9:10 pm

Steyn: Hey, *nudge nudge*

Scumfish: hey mate, you good?

Steyn: Dude, weird frikken day.

Scumfish: yeah? good weird or......

Steyn: Weird weird. Maybe good. not sure yet.

Scumfish: oh? sounds kinda like mine >...< end up filing them off like Hellboy

Scumfish: nooo dont do that. horns are sexy.

Scumfish: go to bed, mate. i'm thinking of heading off anyway, flying's knackered me out and my shoulders hurt.

Steyn: Last night I dreamt of being at another place and woke up at that place.

Steyn: god I hope it doesn't happen again

Steyn: anyway, night

Scumfish: well, if you wake up with a wing covering you, you know where you are.

Scumfish: lol. night mate.

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April / May challenge Entry: Skipping parts

Post by steyn » Fri May 23, 2008 8:48 pm

There was only three things that really bothered Steyn about his newly added features.

1. His reveal to his family.
2. His reveal to his co-workers
And finally
3. His reveal to his neighbours and fellow suburbanites. In other words, how the rest of the people outside of Steyn’s bubble of existence would react.

His first item on the list, with his parents on the phone, went a little like the following.

“Pa, I have a tail and horns.”

“So no cancer?”

“No. No cancer.”

“That’s good news….your mom is relieved… and wants me to tell you not to scare her like that again.”

“Pa…dad…did you hear me?”

“Yeah, no cancer.”

“No, I meant the other stuff.”

“What other stuff?

“The tail and horns.”

“What do you want a tail and horns for? Is this for your art stuff? Your mom wants to talk to you.”

Shuffling.

“Hi Steyn! Steyn? Hello? Toby, I can’t hear a thing on this, what did you do with the phone?!”

“Ma, I can hear you, mom, mom, ma…ma!”

“What?! Don’t yell! I’m your mother, not some stranger! Now what’s wrong? Your dad said something about you art stuff for university, I thought you didn’t take those practical courses this year. ”

“I didn’t take them this year, this isn’t about the art stuff.”

“Then why did you tell your dad it was?”

“I didn’t tell him that, I told...”

“Toby, why did you tell me it was his art stuff?”

in the background he could barely hear “He said something about horns and tails, I thought it was his art stuff like that giant doll and the stuffed sheep doll.

“What did you tell your dad?”

“I told him I have a tail and horns.”

“For what? What do you need tails and horns? Is this for your art things?”

“No, mom, I have a tail and horns, I grew a tail and horns!”

“I don’t understand…”

“I have horns sticking out of my head and a tail out of my back!”

“What did I say? Don’t yell at me I’m your mother.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Why are you wearing horns and tails?”

“I’m not wearing them, they grew out of me.”

“What do you mean grew out? Toby, I can’t understand what he’s talking about. I think it’s something to do with his computer or his work, you talk to him.”

More shuffling.

“Steyn, what’s wrong with your computer? Did it break again?”

“No it didn’t break…”

“Then what’s wrong with your computer? Virus? Is it too slow for your work?”

“No..wait, yes, but that’s not the problem, there’s no problem. Listen to me please.”

“……..”

“Dad?”

“I’m listening…”

“Oh…okay, well, that knob thing I told you about this morning?”

“……”

“Dad?”

“Yes, I’m listening. That thing that you found and called us. It’s not cancer right?”

“No it’s not cancer, it grew larger and is now around…err..thirty centimeters long. A little longer then the ruler.”

“I don’t understand…can you take a photo of it and email?”

Steyn gave a long outdrawn heavy sigh and then went on with his effort.

“Yes, yes, I’ll take a photo. I’ll take a photo of my new tail and of my horns. Gimme some time, the camera isn’t working right.”

“The camera is fine, it’s the batteries. You didn’t recharge the batteries.”

“The batteries are recharged…”

“They aren’t the right batteries..”

And so forth the discussion went on. From batteries to hi parent’s internet connection to his sister’s ballroom dancing. Steyn was a little confused on how they had gotten to the topic of his sister’s ballroom dancing classes, but he was certain it was around the time his parents kept asking if he or his sister had paid the water bill.

After a while later his cellphone rang.

“Hi? Mom?”

“Steyn, what’s those things on your head?”

“They’re horns dad.”

Steyn wasn’t sure if he was relieved that they finally received the email with the pictures, but they had it and he had to wait for what they had to say.

“Are you sure it’s not a skin problem? Have you been to the doctor?”

“Yes, I have.”

For convenience purposes the lengthy conversation that followed were cut short to two sentences.

“Yes, grew them, mine, my tail, my horns, me, mine.”

“So you don’t need money, right?”


The reveal to his sister went another course.

She stopped her car in front of the house. She played with the dog for a couple minutes. She took the mail out from the postbox. She opened the door. She screamed when she saw Steyn appear, and then hit him with the mail. He just laughed.

“What are you doing, take those things off! I hate it when you sneak up on me like that!”

Steyn usually were unnaturally quiet in the past, and he never actually meant to sneak up on people. He just figured it was their own faults that they couldn’t hear him walk up to them.

“I can’t take them off.”

“What do you mean?”

Thankfully Steyn hadn’t worry about telling her via a telephone. That would have broken him after his ordeal telling his parents.

“Look, they’re real.” He said keeping his hair back from the small horns, and poking at one with his other hand.

His sister came closer, staring intently at them, then even lifted her own hand to poke at them too. Steyn lifted his head and made a loud biting noise. She got a fright and he got another postal thwack.

She took it well. She was a little worried of what other people might say if they went to the shops together, but other then that she could help just laughing at him. Not with him. At him.

He never showed his added little talent of mobility.

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April / May challenge Entry: Skipping parts

Post by steyn » Sun Jun 01, 2008 12:00 pm

unfortuantely I couldn't get this to an end, but this is still up for the competition. I might want to add more to this story when the fic bug bites

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April / May challenge Entry: Skipping parts

Post by Rowena » Sun Jun 01, 2008 12:18 pm

Hi! Actually, you can have until midnight tonight to finish this story if you think you can get to the end. If not, you can leave it as is, it just might affect your chances when the voting starts. It's up to you, but either way, best of luck! :D

[Edited on 1/6/2008 by Rowena]
"There are worlds out there where the sky is burning, where the sea's asleep and the rivers dream, people made of smoke and cities made of song. Somewhere there's danger, somewhere there's injustice and somewhere else the tea is getting cold. Come on, Ace, we've got work to do."
~The Doctor, Survival

"There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes."
~The Doctor, Robot

"If this isn't civilization, why am I standing in a bomb crater?"
~Hawkeye Pierce, M.A.S.H.

Rowena Zahnrei's Stories: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/526713/Rowena_Zahnrei

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April / May challenge Entry: Skipping parts

Post by steyn » Sun Jun 01, 2008 12:28 pm

pfft, I doubt if it'll affect the votes. Good stories have good endings, great stories however are never done!

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