A Wave of Changes (April/May Writing Challenge Entry)

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A Wave of Changes (April/May Writing Challenge Entry)

Postby BlueVelvet14 » Sat Apr 12, 2008 8:42 pm

I'm going to use Scenario B for this one. So...

A Wave of Changes

"Uuunnhh...."
"Mary! Wake Up!"
I lifted my head and turned it to Linda's. She nudged her head toward our teacher, Mrs. Cranshaw.
"Ms. Watkins, please pay attention. Now we just multiply 2 by the power of..."
I couldn't concentrate on the stupid math problem, my head was throbbing way to hard. My eyes dozed off again as my head crashed into my textbook.
"MARY!!"
"Huh, what? I'm up!"
Mrs. Cranshaw stood above me, hands on her hips, tapping her foot. An innocent smile grew on my face as she handed me a hall pass.
"Go to the nurse. You can come back for your make-up work after-school."
I took the pass and walked out of the room. I felt so lightheaded and tired. I didn't understand it, I went to bed early, I ate breakfast this morning. Why was I this groggy?
I soon approached the nurse's office half-asleep. I've never been in there, nor did I want to be in there. My mind wrapped around a fantasy of needles and syringes lined up on the wall, a bloody operation table, and organs floating in jars. Despite my mental vision of Hell, a small room with a scale and some cabinets came into view. A small, old woman was at one of the desks, writing a note. She looked up at me with beedy eyes and thick, bug-eyed glasses.
"Can I help you?"
"Unnhh... yes. My teacher suggested that I come here."
"What's your name, sweety?"
"Mary Watkins. Frankly, I agree that I come here. I've felt extremly tired and groggy these past few days, but there has been no change in my daily routine, miss."
"You have no explanation of your condition?"
"Yes ma'am."
She stood up and told me to sit down. As I did, she took a popscicle stick and told me to stick out my tongue. I did, and the stick made me gag. She took it off my tongue put a stethoscope on my chest. She took it off and asked me,
"Have you taken any medicines lately? Asprin, presciptions, allergy medication?"
"No."
She pondered over this and asked a question I did not expect.
"Are you a mutant?"
I stared at her. Me, a mutant? That was the dumbest thing my mind ever comprehended.
"Is that a retorical question?"
"No, I'm serious. Have you ever gone through a mutation?"
"No! I can't even imagine it. Ha! Me, a freak of nature!"
The old woman looked at me like a cow staring at an oncoming train. I'm not sure if I offended her or suprised her, so I apologised any way.
Later, the nurse called my mother to pick me up and take me home. My head was hurting worse than before and asprin wouldn't help. My mother was getting really concerned. She suggested a doctor, but immediatly declined as the doctor's office from Hell image came into my mind. So, she made me lay in bed and fed me ice cream as I watched my "Fantastic Four" DVD. As I was watching, I cranked up the air conditioner and tried to relax. When all of my urges to relax failed, I noticed I was sweating excessively from my forehead and back. It was making my sheets soggy and uncomforable. I got up and tried to figure out how to get the moisture out.
"Let's see... I could get paper towels. No,no, to messy. What about..."
My thoughts were interupted by my eyes as the water from the sheets spiralled upward, like a DNA sculpture, in a vortex manner. I was shocked, was I doing this? Was I making the water levitate? I thought about it falling back onto my bed, and the unbelivable, unthinkable, and freaky happend. It fell! I controlled the water! It was unimagineable! I was obviously shocked, but my mind pondered on what I said in the nurse's office about mutants, and the fact she was right about me manefesting powers. What would happen next?


Sorry guys, this is all I've got so far. I'll write more later.

[Edited on 4/13/08 by BlueVelvet14]
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A Wave of Changes (April/May Writing Challenge Entry)

Postby steyn » Sat Apr 12, 2008 9:53 pm

Hmm, really straight to the point, eh?

I'm not a great writer, so you don't have to take any notice of my comments, but I was wondering, maybe flesh this out a bit. Add more details to everything. At the moment it looks like you're rushing to the end. Remember, you stil got a bit of time before the deadline for the competition

Other then that, well done on being the first contestant :D
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A Wave of Changes (April/May Writing Challenge Entry)

Postby Rowena » Sun Apr 13, 2008 1:57 am

Wow, you're quick! :D Water manipulation--what a fantastic power!!! Please don't feel like you have to rush, the deadline's not until June 1. But this is a great start. Looking forward to more! :D

P.S. You might want to put spaces between the paragraphs to make it a bit easier for us to read.

Thanks so much for entering!

[Edited on 13/4/2008 by Rowena]
"There are worlds out there where the sky is burning, where the sea's asleep and the rivers dream, people made of smoke and cities made of song. Somewhere there's danger, somewhere there's injustice and somewhere else the tea is getting cold. Come on, Ace, we've got work to do."
~The Doctor, Survival

"There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes."
~The Doctor, Robot

"If this isn't civilization, why am I standing in a bomb crater?"
~Hawkeye Pierce, M.A.S.H.

Rowena Zahnrei's Stories: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/526713/Rowena_Zahnrei
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A Wave of Changes (April/May Writing Challenge Entry)

Postby BlueVelvet14 » Sun Apr 13, 2008 6:55 pm

I'm sorry about the wait, guys. Here's the rest:


I thought about everything I heard about mutants on the news. Many were locked away, some killed, many others dying and bloodied from beetings and fights. What if I ended up like that?! No, I can't let that happen, I won't let it. No one can find out, not even Linda, my best friend in the entire universe, nor my mom.
I tried to levitate the water again, which I did, and carried it to the sink to dump it. With that being done, I said to myself,
"If I can manipulate water, can I also create it?"
The thought was as random as any of my other thoughts, but it was something that was possible. With that notion, I concentrated. Water immediately came to my hand, but then I realized the water was coming from the leaking shower head in the tub. Then it occured to me that a bathroom was not the best place to try and create water, knowing it could spew from the pipes or rise from the toilet. Lovely thought. I had to find some place dry and free from humidity. I knew outside was not going to help me, since I live in one of the most humid states ever, Florida. My bedroom could work, but my little sister could barge in at any time. Then, I had it, the garage!
I quickly ran into the empty, concrete-coated wasteland. I thank the Lord that mom keeps her car outside, or else it would be jammed in here. Now, for the topic at hand. I did the same as before and concentrated. Nothing. I waited for another minute or so, zilch. I anticipated for one more minute, not a single drop. Well, that settles it, I can only control the water.

* * *


I've noticed I'm sweating more often over the past week. I think it's because my body is absorbing a lot of the humid air around me and it's trying to compensate. My mother has gotten a bit to protective of my health (she bought me five cans of deoderant). In gym, I'm the first one to be on the ground, panting and grunting like a constipated wiener dog. This stupid mutation is worse than puberty! I can't take it. Somedays it gets so bad I have thoughts of suicide. Yes, it's that bad.
"All right, everyone. The SAT's are next week. Be sure that you are fully prepared."
That was the last thing Mrs. Cranshaw said before the weekend. God, I can't wait to be out of high school! Then I'll be able to live a life where I don't have to worry about a stupid test AND a mutation that's going out of wack at the same time.
" Hey, Mary!"
Linda was running up to meet me.
"What's up?"
"You know Aaron Wright from German class?"
"Yeah. Gorgeous, ain't he?"
"He wants us to tutor him!"
"Really? In what?"
"German. He knows we're the top students in the class, and he's at the bottom. He told me that is he gets another failing grade, his mom won't let him play on the JV soccer team!"
I was of course suprised. One of the things I liked about him was the fact that he's on the school soccer team, not to mention the fact that he's drop-dead sexy!
"Where do we meet him?"
"At the Starbucks near the town square." (In case you didn't know, this is where all the hotties hang out.)
"I'm there!"
I started running when Linda held me back.
"What! Don't you wanna go?"
"Yeah, but first you need to get home."
"Why?"
"You have sweat stains on your shirt."
I looked down and sighed.

* * *


Linda and I didn't have our driver's permits yet, so we had to walk. Town square is pretty far from my house and I estimated that it would take about thirty minutes to get there. Yay for me, since I'd probably look like someone caught in the rain when I got there, but it's not my fault I can't control it. Anyway, we were walking toward the square when Linda stopped suddenly.
"What's wrong Linda?"
"I have an idea."
Uh-oh, Linda had an idea. She's a smart girl, but can be sort of troublesome when it came to her ideas.
"We can take the alley to the square. It's quicker and you won't look like someone just pushed you into the pool when you get there."
It was a good idea, but there were rumors that bands of crack-snorting gangs that lived in there and made a living off of dealing drugs.
"Linda..."
"Great! I knew you would agree! C'mon before it gets to late."
Damn you, Linda! I wanted to stay out of trouble, not get into it! But I can't let her go alone, so I followed her into the dark, strange ally. It was full of trash and metal pipes that had fungus and other crap on it. The entire thing smelled like cat pee mixed with cigarette smoke.
"Are you sure you know where we're going?"
"Yeah, I saw the end of the alley last time I went shopping at the square."
"Are you sure it was this one?"
"Trust me. What other alleys do you know that smell like marijuana?"
I had to agree, but I would have rather go the long way to the square than trek through this metal jungle.
About halfway through the alley(yes, it's a very, very long alley), we ran into someone. He looked like a homeless version of Vanilla Ice.
"Well na, lookie wha' we 'ave ahselves here. Where ya two ladies headin'?"
I hesitated to answer, but Linda stepped in.
"Um... ah... that way."
She pointed to the way out of the alley. She sounded intimmidated.
"Na why would'ja want ta leave this pretta place?"
"Ah... We, uh..."
"We were taking a short cut to the square!"
Linda looked at me with an evil snare, as if I hit her or something.
" I don' think ya gonna be leavin', ladies"
He grabbed Linda's shoulder and pulled her toward himself, as if he was hugging her. I didn't know what to do, so I did the only thing I could do. I summoned some water that was in the moist, humid air, and some of the sweat running down my skin and flowed them into a high-powered jetstream. The blow knocked Linda out of his grasp and he was sent flying into the brick wall of the building next to him. Lindsa stared at me and the crazed man picked up a metal pipe and lunged toward me. To my greatist suprise, one of which is the most incredible thing my eyes have everlayed upon, Linda was levitating the pipe and the man! She threw him back into the wall, grabbed me hand, and we ran the heck out of there!
When we reached the end, we were out of breath, but we both managed to say at the same time,
"You're a mutant?!"
We just stared at each other, then we bursted out into laughter. After our period of comedy we made our way to Starbucks, for some relaxation and a really hot guy.


That's the end I hope you've enjoyed my entire story.
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A Wave of Changes (April/May Writing Challenge Entry)

Postby Elfdame » Thu Apr 17, 2008 1:47 pm

Fun! I am glad she learned to use her powers. I wonder what happens if she joins the swim team?
"Humanity is a parade of fools, and I am at the front of it, twirling a baton." From Chapter 9 of _Brother Odd_ by Dean Koontz / from Chapter 10: "Life you can evade; death you cannot."

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A Wave of Changes (April/May Writing Challenge Entry)

Postby Rowena » Sat Apr 19, 2008 1:06 pm

Great twist, I like the ending! Thanks again for entering, and good luck! :D
"There are worlds out there where the sky is burning, where the sea's asleep and the rivers dream, people made of smoke and cities made of song. Somewhere there's danger, somewhere there's injustice and somewhere else the tea is getting cold. Come on, Ace, we've got work to do."
~The Doctor, Survival

"There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes."
~The Doctor, Robot

"If this isn't civilization, why am I standing in a bomb crater?"
~Hawkeye Pierce, M.A.S.H.

Rowena Zahnrei's Stories: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/526713/Rowena_Zahnrei
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A Wave of Changes (April/May Writing Challenge Entry)

Postby steyn » Sat Apr 19, 2008 1:23 pm

Woo, always nice to have friends that's the same
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A Wave of Changes (April/May Writing Challenge Entry)

Postby BlueVelvet14 » Sun Jun 15, 2008 7:48 pm

Hooray! I'm loved!:bounce:bounce:bounce
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A Wave of Changes (April/May Writing Challenge Entry)

Postby Elfdame » Mon Jun 16, 2008 2:49 pm

Hey, your story got TWICE as many hits (around 200 views) as mine ... good going!

You had better enter the next challenge, whatever it is, with that wonderful imagination of yours!
"Humanity is a parade of fools, and I am at the front of it, twirling a baton." From Chapter 9 of _Brother Odd_ by Dean Koontz / from Chapter 10: "Life you can evade; death you cannot."

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A Wave of Changes (April/May Writing Challenge Entry)

Postby BlueVelvet14 » Wed Jun 18, 2008 1:09 am

Hopefully this time, I'll conquer all MWAH HA HA! *crickets* oh poo...
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