Stupid things you should know...

Post by **Slarti** » Tue Aug 29, 2006 4:48 am

Originally posted by fourpawsonthefloor
Always close the toilet seat before opening up your over the toilet cabinet. Such is the wisdom of the paws. Combined with a distaste for dunking her items in toilet water.

Paws

Yup, I just did that like 10 minutes ago. Now I'll have to use Hubby's deodorant in the morning.

Never close your head in a sliding glass door. A skull will bounce back and forth surprisingly well.

Nightwind · Post by **Nightwind** » Wed Aug 30, 2006 5:32 pm

Don't deside to be stupid and send your friend skittles via snail mail just to be annoying... they melt and get the mail all sticky...
(not that I've actually done that, but my friend and I we're gonna bug another friend by doing that... must have been high that day... one or two skittles actually made it into an envelope...)

Saffire · Post by **Saffire** » Wed Aug 30, 2006 8:16 pm

Never assume you friend knows that being kicked by a horse is worse then being bitten... I told my friend that horses bite and kick and so not to lead a horse close in front of or close behind my extreamly grumpy. An hour later I almost had a heart attack when I saw her standing...not even rushing past, but standing behind my horse holding another horse. When I went to tell her off about it she said she had figure that the horses bite would hurt more than its kick.

Crocodile Hunter · Post by **Crocodile Hunter** » Thu Aug 31, 2006 3:37 am

Never do jaywalking if you see that there is a car coming.

Post by **JSherlock** » Wed Sep 06, 2006 9:00 pm

NEVER go to work in a restaurant when you're recovering from puking the whole day before!

Saffire · Post by **Saffire** » Wed Sep 06, 2006 11:16 pm

Never canter without stirups on an excited horse...

Post by **JSherlock** » Mon Sep 11, 2006 11:21 pm

People, don't put half-full paint cans up high - put them on the GROUND so others won't open a door and knock it to the floor and spill it everywhere.

Post by **HoodedMan** » Tue Sep 12, 2006 12:40 am

On the same note, don't put a bottle of olive oil in front of a cabinet. The cabinet shall be opened and the bottle shall smash.

littlebamf · Post by **littlebamf** » Tue Sep 12, 2006 12:51 am

Never dye or lighten your hair without putting newspaper down.

The excess hair lightener will volcano out of the mixing bottle and leave suspcious looking puddles all over the carpet.

If you do do this, and are tring to get rid of the mess, make sure there is indeed a bin liner in the bin before you throw away the offending bottle. Once it starts blowing it can't stop...

The Drastic Spastic · Post by **The Drastic Spastic** » Tue Sep 12, 2006 3:08 am

Originally posted by littlebamf

The excess hair lightener will volcano out of the mixing bottle...

OMG, I thought all those warnings on the box were a joke! Do you have to leave a lot in the bottle for that to happen or something? I've dyed my hair dozens of times and never had an explosion. (Though I spill dye all over the bathroom every time.)

littlebamf · Post by **littlebamf** » Tue Dec 12, 2006 3:03 pm

*reviving a pretty fun topic*

Don't lick anything on or attached to a lighting rig in a theatre. Especially when the roof might be leaking.

Result: one electric shock and one closed theatre. (And no, it wasn't me.)

Post by **HoodedMan** » Tue Dec 12, 2006 3:35 pm

... yeah, I was about to ask... why in the world... anyhow.

On a related note, never, ever grab a lightbulb to try to dim its glare (we have a small light over the soundboard and lightboard). If it has rubber shielding on one side, that does not in fact mean that it has shielding all around it; thus, you should not enclose your entire hand around it. If you do, especially if it's a small, hot, and really powerful one, you will get burned. And it will then be hard to type. And write. Not that I'd know.

Oh, and if you've done so in the past, try to learn from your mistake and don't do it again.

littlebamf · Post by **littlebamf** » Tue Dec 12, 2006 5:26 pm

Pfft, I'd never be able to do that - we use a piece of gel (colour no. 203) to dim it out

Never paint the underside of a staircase black in the back corner of a blackbox theatre, the stairs being mainly under a black stage, in one go without taking a break.

And don't laugh when the director gets your name wrong and calls you 'Laura'.

puppygirl · Post by **puppygirl** » Wed Dec 13, 2006 12:22 am

Never wear a crop top while opening an oven. Never open an oven without first checking that you're far enough away not to be burt. Never try to pick a plate out of the oven bare handed.

(Yes... my oven hates me)

Scumfish · Post by **Scumfish** » Thu Dec 14, 2006 3:32 pm

When photocopying, never let go of the plate before its reached the point where it wont fall shut.

Because it really hurts when your hand gets caught.

Wheely computer chair (going from one end of the room to the other / laughing hard) + leaning too far forward = laughing stock - dignity. DONT DO IT. (Face falling on the carpet ain't gona do much for the image

)

Post by **Slarti** » Thu Dec 14, 2006 4:01 pm

I’ll second the wheely chair! The first time (yes, first, I obviously don’t learn) I was leaning over to get something behind my desk when the chair went one way and my ass went the other… with the boss standing right there.

And… DON’T lean too far back in a wheely chair when there’s a file cabinet behind you.

Post by **fourpawsonthefloor** » Thu Dec 14, 2006 4:06 pm

Ah...speaking of burns, don't iron in daisy dukes and stand really close to the ironing board (It was the 80's and I was a teen - me in daisy dukes now would be illegal I think. Not a pretty sight). Anyway - took years for that little scar to heal and the top of your thigh is actually way more sensitive than you'd think.

Also, don't hold a match upsidedown, and remember that a simple puff of air, or turning the match upright, will stop the burning.

Post by **Slarti** » Tue Dec 19, 2006 4:04 pm

Check the inside of your clothing for clinging fabric softener sheets before you go to work. I sat in the office for two hours thinking my shirt smelled really particularly good today for some reason. Then somebody said, “hey, what’s that white thing?”

Well, that would be the dryer sheet sticking out of the bottom of my shirt, of course!

Crocodile Hunter · Post by **Crocodile Hunter** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 9:24 am

Never talk to the police man if not asked something.

littlebamf · Post by **littlebamf** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 2:18 pm

Originally posted by Slarti
Check the inside of your clothing for clinging fabric softener sheets before you go to work. I sat in the office for two hours thinking my shirt smelled really particularly good today for some reason. Then somebody said, “hey, what’s that white thing?”

Well, that would be the dryer sheet sticking out of the bottom of my shirt, of course!

On the same note not only should you check for dryer sheets, but for underwear too

Scumfish · Post by **Scumfish** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 6:24 pm

And on the underwear......allways check that it's YOUR underwear you pick up first thing in the mornin when you can't see very well.

Coz its embarresing havin your best mate demand that you give him back his boxers.

Saffire · Post by **Saffire** » Mon Dec 25, 2006 8:33 pm

Don't try to lift pool tables if you have a history of back problems, You will hurt your back even if 5 other people are helping you move it...I learned that one the hard way, I was lying flat on my back for 24 hours after that incident

Marzbunny · Post by **Marzbunny** » Sat Feb 17, 2007 6:15 am

Never forget that the dogs leash is sticking out the car door in close proximity to the wheel whil being wrapped around the dogs leg. (Poor Heidi still has a limp.)

Never touch the back of a metal office lamp.

Never stick your thumb in hot wax. You'll lose part of your thumbprint for at least three weeks.

Never run your fingers on the edge of a rzor blade when tring to get something off of it.

Never let the goat run oat of feed when you're milking it. They kick if they have no food.

Never forget you are using a sewing machine while sewing. (My great-grandma did. she got her thumbnail pierced.)

Never get your foot stuck in the pedal of a cycling machine. (that bruised)

littlebamf · Post by **littlebamf** » Sat Feb 17, 2007 10:54 am

Don't trust actors to put fake blood on themselves - they'll drop it on you. And don't kneel on the floor backstage if fake blood has been used, especially if there is no light (as lighting techs are by my experience msotly lazy and never fix anythign for us) and if the floor is black.

Never take the pipe out of the front of a smoke machine and let your finger slip to where the pipe has just been inside the front of the machine - it fecking hurts. Again, damned lighting techs are useless here and we haven't had a working light backstage for a whole performance.

Don't go from never wearing heels to wearing 4 inch heeled boots two nights running. Owwie.

kamizzi · Post by **kamizzi** » Sat Feb 17, 2007 12:31 pm

never touch your radiator by one hand while touching your computer

(I'm not sure if it happens everywhere or just in my case, biut I always got an electric shock

)