Teenager struggled with bullying before taking his life

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Teenager struggled with bullying before taking his life

Postby HoodedMan » Thu Sep 22, 2011 3:29 am

14-year-old Jamey Rodemeyer, a victim of relentless anti-gay bullying, was found dead earlier this week of an apparent suicide.

"I always say how bullied I am, but no one listens," Jamey wrote on his Tumblr blog in a post dated September 9th. "What do I have to do so people will listen to me?"

The bullying got particularly intense about twelve months ago, when classmates started leaving homophobic remarks on Jamey's Formspring page. "JAMIE [sic] IS STUPID, GAY, FAT ANND UGLY. HE MUST DIE!," read one of the many vicious comments. Another read, "I wouldn't care if you died. No one would. So just do it :) It would make everyone WAY more happier!"

Friends were always there to defend him, however, and Jamey himself even appeared to be taking the abuse in stride, contributing a video to Dan Savage's "It Gets Better" project, in which he echoed the words of Lady Gaga, telling other bullying victims to "love yourself and you're set. I promise you, it will get better."

Sadly, despite assuring his parents multiple times that everything was fine, all was not as it seemed. On Sunday, Jamey posted two messages to his blog: the first said he really wanted to see his great-grandmother, who had recently died, and the second said, "Thank you, Lady Gaga." That was his last entry.

"He touched so many hearts, so many people," said his mother, Tracy Rodemeyer, who met with some of his grief-stricken friends at Williamsville North on Monday. "I didn't realize how many people he touched. He was the sweetest, kindest kid you'd ever know. He would give all his heart to you before he gave any to himself."

As American servicemen and women across the globe celebrate the long-overdue demise of the military's discriminatory "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy, Jamey's untimely death offers a stark reminder that the struggle for tolerance is far from over.

The Buffalo News

[Edited on 9/22/11 by HoodedMan]
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Teenager struggled with bullying before taking his life

Postby Angelique » Thu Sep 22, 2011 4:48 am

Gut wrenching, heart-breaking, and eye-opening. This is tragic proof that feel-good songs and videos and even the moral support of friends only go so far. Bullies need to be confronted directly and persistently.
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Teenager struggled with bullying before taking his life

Postby Ult_Sm86 » Thu Sep 22, 2011 6:49 am

This is flat out unacceptable.

It's disastrous. I cannot stress enough as to how badly we need a movement in this country to undo the damage inflicted by these bullies.

This harassing, this ignorance, has to stop. And it starts at home, and it continues in the class room.

Grade School kids aren't learning tolerance, they're learning how to shut their mouths. There's a big flippin' difference.

[Edited on 22/9/11 by Ult_Sm86]
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Teenager struggled with bullying before taking his life

Postby Ferguson » Thu Sep 22, 2011 1:51 pm

And it starts at home


All too glaringly true, unfortunately. It might not always be the parents that are instilling these wrong ideas into their children's heads that leads towards this kind of bullying but too often it would seem to either outright be the case or at laest be a symptom of something else at home. It's a disgusting lack of respect for other people actually being other people that seems to just keep getting passed down.
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Teenager struggled with bullying before taking his life

Postby fourpawsonthefloor » Thu Sep 22, 2011 3:48 pm

I saw this yesterday and was really upset about it. As others have said, so long as speaking badly or making fun of LGBT people is deemed acceptable or even desirable by a large amount of society then we're going to have this problem. It is great that some schools are taking measures about bullying, but you still see other schools expelling students for things like a girl wearing a tux or two guys wanting to go to prom together. Teens at this age sometimes reflect the nastyness of society and it's inability to cope with people who step beyond the 'sheep' mentality.

It's more than wrong. I hope that they're going to throw the book at the kids who participated in this. This is also why we should take stands and speak up more often. It isn't going to stop until enough people do.
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Teenager struggled with bullying before taking his life

Postby Angelique » Thu Sep 22, 2011 6:19 pm

Hold up, though. There is a difference between believing a certain behavior is wrong and being a bully about it. Bullies are bullies not because of what they believe may be right or wrong, but because they push people around, talk smack about people, and are allowed to get away with it. Speaking badly of someone, poking malicious fun, defamation, harrassment, intimidation, assault, really any behavior on the bullying spectrum is unacceptable regardless of the target's real or perceived sexual orientation, their beliefs, race, or anything else the bully might offer as a lame excuse. And in some cases, in my opinion anyway, it's tantamount to murder.

I was pleased to see that Lady Gaga was outraged by this latest bully-cide. I hope this prompts her to do more about it.
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Teenager struggled with bullying before taking his life

Postby HoodedMan » Thu Sep 22, 2011 6:33 pm

I'm not sure what your point is, Angelique; no one above argued you can't believe homosexuality is wrong. What's being argued is that there's a certain ignorance regarding other people and how to treat them that's being passed down. I don't think tolerance is too much to ask for; you can believe homosexuality is wrong but still tolerate homosexuals' existence, as these children clearly did not.

Thank you for reminding me:

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Also, by my reading, bully-cide would be the murder of bullies, would it not?
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Teenager struggled with bullying before taking his life

Postby Angelique » Thu Sep 22, 2011 7:51 pm

It was kind of a preemptive strike, as I'd too often seen discussions on this degenerate into anti-religious bullying in the name of preventing anti-gay bullying. And having contended with both (as well as being bullied for pretty much every other aspect- real or fabricated- about me off and on, mostly on, for most of my life), my feelings on the matter are more than a little raw. Vague references to attitudes being handed down could be interpreted to refer to religious beliefs, particularly since most bullies do not learn their behavior at home, but from their peers.

Oh, and bully-cide has recently been adopted as a clumsy term for suicides prompted by bullying.
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Teenager struggled with bullying before taking his life

Postby fourpawsonthefloor » Thu Sep 22, 2011 10:42 pm

My point isn't that people don't have the right to their religion, certainly not. My point is that people have to stop making gross untrue sweeping statements about it (that do not target individuals as bullying does, but precipitates an unhealthy and untrue belief system about GLBT people) and that people stop forcing their belief systems on others.

I guess I have to totally admit I'm also caught on it a bit though. I mean - some people still to this day use their religious beliefs to justify slavery or racism but churches that once widely supported those views do not do so any longer today. The bible verses that they were interpreting (or that straight out read it) are no longer used to support those beliefs or they're disregarded. I don't know how religious institutions choose which scriputures to obey and which ones to toss out, but I'm certainly up for being educated on that.

My end game is that I don't like seeing people being hurt. And to me, if you as an adult do not support that belief, then that's your choice for yourself. But I certainly don't like hearing that others are using it to make people feel not included, evil, etc or that they're encouraging others to do this harm. That isn't love. That's not kindness. And to me, that is not what God is about. I totally believe you have the right to think otherwise. I just don't believe that people have the right to take that to harm others, mentally or physically.

Anyways, I'm sorry that I brought this to be about religion, because it's really about many things in general society. It's not only people of certain religions that are saying hateful and harmful things - in fact there are many people of religion that support and are very kind towards gay people. It's about uglyness when things need to be gracious.

In general society? Things have got to change.

((Ack - sorry, I was replying at the same time you were. I certainly don't want anyone to feel attacked or singled out here. I don't think there is one cookie cutter representation of anyone out there that you can tar evenly with any brush. People are individuals. People make their own choices. I don't take offence with religion as a whole - just when it (or anything else really) is used to harm.))

[Edited on 22/9/11 by fourpawsonthefloor]
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Teenager struggled with bullying before taking his life

Postby Ferguson » Fri Sep 23, 2011 12:07 am

Oh no, bullying about any topic is absolutely out of line whether it be orientation, religion, or anything in between because it can all lead down the same path.
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Teenager struggled with bullying before taking his life

Postby Angelique » Sat Sep 24, 2011 2:12 am

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Teenager struggled with bullying before taking his life

Postby fourpawsonthefloor » Sat Sep 24, 2011 3:35 am

Cool article in a lot of ways. Important to point out as well that bullying, while traditionally thought as an action done and taken up by children or teens, is a behavior that is taken up by adults at times too. And by all means any form of bullying anyone should be frowned on by society regardless of race, gender or sexual orientation.
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Teenager struggled with bullying before taking his life

Postby HoodedMan » Sat Oct 01, 2011 10:04 pm

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Teenager struggled with bullying before taking his life

Postby fourpawsonthefloor » Sun Oct 02, 2011 4:39 am

Yes, well, I suppose I'm glad that I believe in Karma or getting what you put out in the universe or whatever label you want to throw at it. Put out hate, you're only going to be wading in it yourself.
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Postby Angelique » Sun Oct 02, 2011 5:59 am

This is just another kick in the gut of someone who's already down- and hard enough that anyone with any sensitivity can feel it. Seriously, does anybody in the world have the minimal decency to just leave other people alone?
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Teenager struggled with bullying before taking his life

Postby Ult_Sm86 » Sun Dec 04, 2011 3:38 am

George Takei posted this on his Facebook page today.

A lot of people are saying this boy is an attention seeker, I think the attention he's seeking is help.
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Teenager struggled with bullying before taking his life

Postby Bamfing_Bob » Sun Dec 04, 2011 4:09 am

Takes serious guts to do that... no one seeks that kind of attention unless they need it...
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Teenager struggled with bullying before taking his life

Postby Angelique » Sun Dec 04, 2011 8:13 am

Ult_Sm86 wrote:George Takei posted this on his Facebook page today.

A lot of people are saying this boy is an attention seeker, I think the attention he's seeking is help.


Yeah. I saw no evidence that he was trying to draw any attention to himself, but to his situation- which needs a great deal of unflinching attention. I sometimes think it would help if we all recorded what's happened to us and got the word out, but the sad truth is that the people who need to hear the truth the most are some of the least willing to listen, and we can't really make anyone want to hear.
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Teenager struggled with bullying before taking his life

Postby Indigo_Lady » Sun Dec 04, 2011 9:14 pm

I don't think that young man is looking for attention either. He's looking for answers. People, and especially teens, can be so cruel. Why it so hard to put yourself in another's place? I was bullied in middle school, but I had a very best friend and ignored it. By high school, nobody bothered me because they knew they couldn't get to me. My sister wasn't so lucky. At one point it was hard for my parents to get her to go to school.

Parents, teach your children to respect other people, each and every one, regardless of their ANY of their differences.
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Teenager struggled with bullying before taking his life

Postby sovietxzion » Mon Dec 05, 2011 11:27 pm

Did he lie about the whole thing? You be the one to decide..

here's the link below.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pl ... t5gvl5s2q4
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Teenager struggled with bullying before taking his life

Postby Ult_Sm86 » Tue Dec 06, 2011 12:09 am

Pretty hard to fake those tears...


Like I commented on the video though, either he's an amazing actor or he's seriously messed up.

Or... he actually moved on/grew up/ realized it was a bunch of pointless nonsense/high school drama.

Either way, the internet will be the end of his rep.

(Until he discovers www.reputation.com )


===EDIT===

Just found this:
[quote]
Controversy has swirled around the videos this week, with some posting online their suspicions that the boy is a “fraud,
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Teenager struggled with bullying before taking his life

Postby Angelique » Tue Dec 06, 2011 2:17 am

Well, a common tactic among bullies and other types of abusers is to attack the credibility of their victims when they speak out. "He's lying." "She's making it up." "What are you going to do? Call the cops? They won't believe you." Or they'll try to turn the tables and accuse their victims of being bullies. This is in attempt to make victims even more afraid of speaking out.
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Teenager struggled with bullying before taking his life

Postby Ult_Sm86 » Fri Jan 06, 2012 3:01 pm

Amanda Cummings Commits Suicide After Facebook/Text Bullying...

This is just silly. How are people missing this?? How are parents/teachers/adults in general, not calling this out?
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Teenager struggled with bullying before taking his life

Postby fourpawsonthefloor » Sat Jan 07, 2012 1:33 am

Because some will always insist it's their right to treat others like shit.

All we can do is keep working on it and make a difference for people in our lives. It's not enough for glbt people to stand up for themselves, everyone who will needs to make a stand.
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Postby fourpawsonthefloor » Sun Jan 08, 2012 2:30 am

Sorry to double post, but this is something that is beyond my understanding - the laws in Tennessee that they are trying to amend to insure that kids can treat gay kids like crap.

I mean, don't get me wrong. I don't think that people have to believe that being gay is fine. They can totally believe that they are going to hell or whatever they wish. But I believe that it is heinous to hurt another person like this. It is not moral. It is not ok to treat GLBT people as second class citizens. To harm another like this...I don't understand why it would be viewed as allowable or positive in any way or fashion.

Ironically, this law would also allow children of one religion to persecute others of a differing one. I can't understand how that is ok at all either. Or it could even allow targeting of other races or women. I mean...if it's your philosophical belief...it's a horrible slippery slope based on one thing. Hate. How is hate good at all????

It makes me sad and discouraged and fricken glad that I don't live there, because I'd hate my bi-racial kids to be exposed to allowable bullying.
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