a funny joke

If it's not comics, tv, or movies, this is the place! Talk about anything and everything else right here!
Post Reply
sovietxzion
Bilge Rat
Bilge Rat
Posts: 74
Joined: Tue Jun 12, 2007 2:03 am
Title: Boy Cereal
Location: The Planet Cybertron

a funny joke

Post by sovietxzion »

THE HAIRCUT.

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked
about his bill and the barber replied, "I cannot accept money from you, I'm
doing community service this week."

The florist was pleased and left the shop.
When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you'
card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber
again replied, "I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this
week." The cop was happy and left the shop.

The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card
and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his
bill, the barber again replied, "I can not accept money from you. I'm doing
community service this week."

The M.P. was very happy and left the shop.
The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen M.P.s
lined up waiting for a free haircut.

And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens
of our country and the politicians who run it.
"Itchy, Rusty, Wretched, my ARSE!"- Jetfire

"I'm not gonna stick it in freja and make her see god, i leave that to the Pros... AKA freak"

"If sex is evil, I comitted a whole lot of evil last night."
Elwing
Global Moderator
Global Moderator
Posts: 986
Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2002 4:35 pm
Title: Loquacious Llama
Location: Yurop

a funny joke

Post by Elwing »

Hey, that's funny, I read a different version of this joke yesterday which was in Wikipedia under "Jewish humor"...

A Buddhist monk goes to a barber to have his head shaved. "What should I pay you?" the monk asks. "No price, for a holy man such as yourself," the barber replies. And what do you know, the next day the barber comes to open his shop, and finds on his doorstep a dozen gemstones.
That day, a priest comes in to have his hair cut. "What shall I pay you, my son?" "No price, for a man of the cloth such as yourself." And what do you know, the next day the barber comes to open his shop, and finds on his doorstep a dozen roses.
That day, Rabbi Finklestein comes in to get his payoss [sideburns] trimmed. "What do you want I should pay you?" "Nothing, for a man of God such as yourself." And the next morning, what do you know? The barber finds on his doorstep — a dozen rabbis!
“You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy a bike and that’s pretty close”
puppygirl
Swashbuckler
Swashbuckler
Posts: 1819
Joined: Thu Aug 10, 2006 3:31 pm
Title: Pigeon Fancier
Nightscrawlearth Character: :blink :warlock :morph :deadgirl
Contact:

a funny joke

Post by puppygirl »

HA! It's funny 'cos it's true ><
Image NightscrawlearthImage
Image

Pup's Blog -- Pup's Tumblr
"Why can’t people appreciate how much effort I put in to not becoming a serial killer?"
Elwing
Global Moderator
Global Moderator
Posts: 986
Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2002 4:35 pm
Title: Loquacious Llama
Location: Yurop

a funny joke

Post by Elwing »

One more from that page 'specially for Mikey:


"Sarah, how's that boy of yours?"
"David? Ach, don't ask - he's living in Miami with a man named Miguel"
"That's terrible!"
"I know - why couldn't he find a nice Jewish boy?
“You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy a bike and that’s pretty close”
sovietxzion
Bilge Rat
Bilge Rat
Posts: 74
Joined: Tue Jun 12, 2007 2:03 am
Title: Boy Cereal
Location: The Planet Cybertron

a funny joke

Post by sovietxzion »

ha! elwing, i love that one!
"Itchy, Rusty, Wretched, my ARSE!"- Jetfire

"I'm not gonna stick it in freja and make her see god, i leave that to the Pros... AKA freak"

"If sex is evil, I comitted a whole lot of evil last night."
User avatar
kladyelf
Deck Swabber
Deck Swabber
Posts: 581
Joined: Mon Jul 22, 2002 2:46 am
Location: Australia

a funny joke

Post by kladyelf »

the only one i can think of right now is a lightbulb joke:

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Well first the lightbulb must want to change....
meddle not in the affairs of ficcers for you are malleable and easily .... O_o *stares* ooh is that a cookie?

Love your enemies - It will drive them nuts!

Crazy.... but in the nicest possible way....

To Stupidityyyyy - and beyond!

*after reading the latest gory/depressing "mainstream" comic* ....*sigh* that's it, I'm packin' up and moving back to the Eighties...
CarterM
Lubber
Lubber
Posts: 4
Joined: Mon Nov 01, 2010 1:07 pm

a funny joke

Post by CarterM »

Hahaha its funny but i have read it anywhere but with different version you know but i didnt remind where i have read this anyway a nice one

[Edited on 13/11/10 by CarterM]
Elwing
Global Moderator
Global Moderator
Posts: 986
Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2002 4:35 pm
Title: Loquacious Llama
Location: Yurop

a funny joke

Post by Elwing »

okay, one more...

Three guys die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven...don't step on the ducks."

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first guy accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest woman he ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly woman!"

The next day, the second guy steps accidentally on a duck, and along comes St. Peter , who doesn't miss a thing, and with him is another extremely ugly woman. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first guy.

The third guy has observed all this and not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly woman, is very, VERY careful where he steps. He manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to him with the most gorgeous woman he has ever laid eyes on...a very tall, tan, curvaceous, sexy blonde. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word. The guy remarks, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?"
The woman replies, "I don't know about you but I stepped on a duck"
“You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy a bike and that’s pretty close”
Angelique
Dread Pirate
Dread Pirate
Posts: 2882
Joined: Mon Aug 22, 2005 7:27 am
Location: sailing under the Jolly Wagner

a funny joke

Post by Angelique »

A belated Halloween joke:

Zombie kid: But Mom, Billy's my friend!

Zombie mom: I don't care. Stop playing with your food.
Meddle not with the heartstrings of fans, for we are powerful and hold your pursestrings.

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=6 ... &ref=share

www.heroesfallenstudiosinc.webs.com

http://hubpages.com/hub/characterdriven
Post Reply