Nightscrawlers

I kind of know what a vampire victim feels like. My shoulder feels as if someone has chewed it to bits. Ouch.

I hate my body.

But at least the feeling's mutual.

I'm slowly running out of moneys...

And losing it faster than I can make it...


Thankfully, I has plan.

Lil, at least you're not sparkly?

Though, really, that could be said as an upside to anything I suppose. I might have to start doing that.

Woo, baby mama drama.

Ferguson wrote:Lil, at least you're not sparkly?

Though, really, that could be said as an upside to anything I suppose. I might have to start doing that.

Thank heavens for small mercies Really it wouldnt be so bad if my pain medication wasn't making me 'funny' on top...

Seems like the apparent ear infection that started two days ago isn't one, after all, but rather an infection deep in the skin right in front of it, which causes the swelling to push down onto the ear canal. Aside from that, it feels like some large dude with spikes on the heels of his boots standing on the side of your face. Naturally, I called in sick for tomorrow.

Boss's son is cute...but.

But he just peed by the door.

My sticky rice isn't sticky enough.

Saggy sushi one day, saggy boobs the next. And time doth marches on.

The problem with having a lot of chronic conditions is that occasionally they all combine to make the perfect storm of doom.

I've had tummy pain of moderate to severe pain since Friday, straight through, no breaks. I've had it worked up and my dr can't figure it out, though he's very quick to reassure that it's real...just as with many things with me, I prefer to remain all mysterious.

That then means that I've had about six hours of pretty crappy sleep in the past three days. And I don't think so far that I'll be able to sleep in the near future. Which then flares up my fibro and my iritis may be flaring up too. I'm also going through perimenopause early and that's always fun. Everything then brings me to my current state of either having a tummy bug on top of things or my body just is REALLY deciding to be an asshole.

Bleh. However i have to say that I'm very grateful that this was this weekend and not last when it was my daughters birthday party.

I know that I'll eventually bob back to my version of normal, so it's just a matter of hunkering down and weathering it all out. I know that there are a ton of people that share similar states too, it's just good to bitch once and a while. Or I'd go postal.

To the police officers of the world- know that I love you and I am infinitely grateful for your help keeping me and my brothers and sisters safe on the scene, but...

...if someone with an obvious medical alert of any kind is acting off, listen to them or the responding EMS personel. There is a very good chance they belong in the hospital, not in a holding cell. And if, say, a person with epilepsy has a seizure and is injured or killed in your custody because you disregarded all obvious clues (like the medic-alert, the complaints of headache, the demands for medical attention), there is a very good chance that this will look very, very bad for your department, you will hear from lawyers, and you won't get any sympathy from me.

Thank you.

*gives Paws many hugs*

Oh my, that sounds incredibly sucky. Hang in here, hun.

On a much sadder note than my "Astounding" post,

animal abuse in RI is not going down. It's really disgusting how much of it occurs...

Just today two kittens were shot with a b.b. gun, targeted directly into their heads, and left in a car wash in westerly. Male kittens have been named "Tilt" and "Whirl" have a single b.b. lodged into their skulls now. They are awaiting adoption after they recover, in the Westerly Animal Shelter.

A month ago, during an Exeter Animal Shelter fundraiser event, something so awful happened it made my best friends' mom (a second mother to me), retire her job as the Exeter Animal Control Officer and representative of the shelter.

A dog was thrown from the back of a truck towards the direction of the shelter. Unfortunately, they were traveling north, not south, and this means they were on the right side of the road, not the left. The left being the side the shelter is actually on. The dog hit the road, middle of the road, hard, and they kept driving.

There is reason to believe that this is someone who has done this at least twice before, but they have never thrown a dog out a car. They usually leave the dog tied up outside the shelter door, over night (often in the winter or dead-heat of July). This is obviously not the correct way to go about things. The theory is that the dog-tosser panicked when he saw an event being held (a car wash of some sort) and stupidly threw the poor animal from the car.


The dog is now recovering and doing well, but it's still unacceptable treatment.

Thankfully these are two stories where the animals lives were preserved. There are probably dozens more in RI where this is not the case.



[Edited on 27/9/11 by Ult_Sm86]

Having one of my bad days. To be fair, it's probably made worse by the sheer amount of pain I'm in and having to be laid up in bed for two days in a row - as well as being ill over the weekend (it looks like IBS is about ready to be added to my long list of physical issues, blah) so...eh. So long as I keep taking the tablets...

It's also not helped by the fact I've lost way too much weight recently because I'm not eating (and I mean I'm maybe having a meal every three-four days to a week) and am still not sleeping. Tried telling the psychobabblists about this and they're still telling me to 'give it time'. Someone's going to get yelled at, and not necessarily by me.

On the subject of psychobabbles, I'm going to the doctors tomorrow to start a heavy course of psychological treatment, tests and further mental probing. While this is sorta yay because...yeah, I need help if I'm slashing up my wrists and can barely get above a 'meh' attitude at pretty much everything and am suffering horrific repeat-nightmares and flashbacks...it's also 'shit' because woo for dredging up the reasons behind all of that. Add that to the fact I'm going to be an outpatient for a mental ward and under the Sectioned banner makes me feel real happy.

On the subject of doctors, I'm also going to be talked to tomorrow about possible referral surgery for my Chiari (or Chairi, can never remember how to spell the damn thing. While I'd be all for this, because chronic pain/'ghost' conditions (everything from ME right the way to 'strokes' can be imitated by this) is not fun, it involves putting an inch-inch and a half stent in the base of my skull after cutting some of the bone surrounding the extra brain away. Serious stuff, because it's the base of the friggin' skull, right where the nervous bundle comes out. That on top of the fact I'll have to continue going into surgery every 6-12 months to have the stent cleared out for the rest of my life makes it pretty serious stuff. And, if it doesn't work, I may have to have my spine fused to create a false 'channel'.

Oh, did I mention that if they do this surgery, they may find spinal cysts caused by incorrectly-draining spinal fluid? And that will require even more complicated surgery and a severe loss of feeling and grip and other chewy things...

TL;DR - Feel like shit, not eating, not sleeping, in pain. Seeing doctor tomorrow about psychological treatment and being referred for an operation that might actually cause more issues than original problem. Maybe. Also contributing to the feeling-shit thing.

Don't mind me, I'll be sitting in the corner feeling sorry for myself.

Good luck, Scumfish; at least you're getting treatment! I hope all goes well. Myself, I'm trying to get treatment; I've left messages with three offices requesting an appointment as a new patient and just have not heard back (what am I doing wrong? how is this professional?). I think I'm going to have to see a GP and try to get a referral in order to get an appointment, which is weird and annoying.

Anywho, yesterday I called an e-mail service provider about a ticket we'd had open for almost two weeks; they weren't doing anything about it and this was due to cause us legal problems. Demanded to speak to a supervisor, actually got really great service. But my switching things over caused almost two hours of e-mail interruption to some of our users because I misconfigured something.

Whenever there's any unplanned downtime, especially when I get paged because something's down and I didn't it was down, it just makes me so sick to my stomach. I feel like I've failed my users. Anyhow, spent almost four hours on the phone with my supervisor getting things sorted out. I haven't gotten good sleep in quite a while; my eyes are so dark I look like a raccoon (a raccoon with bloodshot eyes, given the amount of caffeine required to keep me awake during the day).

Oy vey.

[Edited on 9/27/11 by HoodedMan]

Boyfriend's mother makes me want to stab things... generally on a daily basis, seeing as I live with her. However, today especially.

There was a reason I told Tiffany (who called and woke me up this morning) I'd have to talk to Matt about keeping Matthew tonight. That doesn't mean when Tiffany calls you whining about how mean and unreasonable Matt and I are that you get to make the decision about whether we take the child or not, mainly because it's not your fucking decision to make especially when you won't be the fucking person watching him... And, you know, it's generally not your fucking decision to make, as he's not your child.

Matt has a job interview and a scout meeting tonight, meaning I had to discuss with him whether I should watch him or not because he's obviously not going to be home. We decided on not. ...Though, that decision may have been more based on the fact that Tiffany is a selfish bitch that threatened to take Matt to court, so we don't really feel any motivation to do her any favors.

There's also the fact that this happens at least once every week, and I'm not a fucking babysitter.

More weird coffee than ass, but I'm the old lady of the office now apparently.

I just bickered for like 10 minutes with the two mid-20s people in the office about who sang the song on the radio. It was Interstate Love Song by Stone Temple Pilots. They didn't know it. Before their time, they say.



At least I earned back cool points because I could also identify the Mumford & Sons song that came on after it.

Nevermind! Boss just tried to flash some gang signs. I'm the cool one again.

[Edited on 28-9-2011 by Slarti]

Whaaa? Stone Temple Pilots wouldn't be before their time, no excuse.

Bad side of doctors: I got weighed today after the doctor lady found out I haven't been eating. When I was weighed at the beginning of August, I was 11st 6lb - a little overweight, but pretty healthy. Weight today? 10st. Yeah, I've lost over a stone and a half from not eating in just over a month. Upshot is, I'm now on two weeks of banana-flavoured fortified blargh in liquid form and eating exercises.

Maybe if I just pretend I'm under doctor's orders to drink banana milkshake every day...?

Kiley did a Linda Blair on me. It required a shower.

Why the fuck am I in pizza three days in the week?

Some would argue "Well at least it's not dishroom".

You'd be incorrect if this is your argument.

Dishroom > Pizza.

Pizza = Chaos/Mayhem/Stress/Hostility

>:{

Right now, every minute seems to stretch into eternity. I don't know why. The end of the minute has dissolved. It could cross the threshold into an hour, or a day. I feel suspended in space even though I'm sitting down. Every minute is its own eternal unit of time.

What do you do when hope is all that's kept you going. When that's your last thought before going into surgery, and through the long recovery. It's the hope you've had for a long, long time. Years.

When that hope stretched through being born to living hell...

Where do dreams go when they die..?

My mind still hasn't caught up with it. Hope, for ten years and trying to make a difference. One small difference. Which it would have changed my life.

And then it stretched out that this lasts a lifetime.

Then the stillness turns jagged as it all hits home. Then back to the endless minutes.

What happens now? What happens? It's easy to tell someone to pick up and move on, but what happens now in a life like this.. how do I ask someone something without feeling and looking like a beggar and feeling worse and knowing no one cares and it's scary too.

I know this doesn't make any sense, but I can't be more specific in public.

I wish Kurt was real, so I could cuddle him. need a hug..




[Edited on 30/9/11 by Threetoe]

Siiiiiiick.

Threetoe, there's a lot of us here that have chonic issues that can limit in pain and ability. While I cannot say that any of us can know exactly what you're going through at least a lot of us can totally empathise. Hang in there.