nightcrawler quotes

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Post by CuteLittleBamf »

I’m looking for funny nightcrawler quotes to put up on my profile so I was wondering if everyone could but there favorite funny nighty quote up from the comics. I’ve looked around and there hard to find, heres what I got so far:

"If I had a normal life Id quite cheerfully go mad and fall over right now" (excalibur #103) (a classic I know)

Cyclops: Looks like its open season on mutants again. How do you feel, Nightcrawler?
N: Black and blue all over. But Im that, anyway.
(uncanny X-men 130)

"How I do my job Wolverine is my business,as long as that job is properly done,if I choose to do it with a little style,a lot of fun,wheres the harm?" (so very him)
Classic X-Men#4

There was another one two I remember I loved from Excalibur something like Who needs a coat when your covered in blue fuzz? I was wondering if someone could give me the exact quote and the issue number. That would make me very happy. Thank you
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Post by Shadow_Dancer »

There are some pretty good quotes in the original Nightcrawler Mini Series

#1 - "When you're born with a tail, you learn to go through doors fast."

"Lockheed, if you don't get your tail out of my face, I'm going to bite it off."

#3 - And the unforgettable: "I am not a Boggie!!" :surprise
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines, Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream." Mark Twain

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Post by Nik »

Nightcrawler: “Peter, mein freund --”
Colossus: “Da?”
Nightcrawler: “Your foot.”
Colossus: “Da?”
Nightcrawler: “Remove it from my spleen.”
Uncanny X-Men #367

Red King: "Im rich... And powerful... And in love.....And I will destroy you..!"
Nightcrawler: "Love makes you want to stab people? That isnt love. Thats brain damage. Though I do understand your confusion between the two, some days." (I love this one!) Excalibur #100

Nightcrawler: “Never, Dear Lady. Your presence is always welcome.”
Storm: “Flatterer.”
Nightcrawler: “That’s me, the silver tongued, blue-furred devil.” Uncanny X-Men #167

Kurt (swiping Remy‘s sandwich): “Turkey? Good.”
Remy: “Got my coodies.”
Kurt: “Had worse.”~ Gambit #1

Rogue: “No fair! Cutitout you’re tickling!”
Nightcrawler: “And you are ticklish!”
Rogue: “I’ll bash you buster! Stopstopstop! Ah mean it!”
Nightcrawler: “Talk is cheap.” Uncanny X-Men #192

Kurt: “I’m wet! I hate wet!” Uncanny X-Men #192

Nightcrawler: “Men of steel, jaws of glass. My kind of foe.” Uncanny X-Men #157

Nightcrawler: “I know you have my Bamf doll to keep you company and protect you, but I thought---this being Christmas and all-- you might, for a change….prefer the real thing.”
Amanda Sefton: “Yum!” Uncanny X-Men #168 (Yo go Fuzzy!:naughty)

Amanda: “You, Mr. Wagner, are one sweet, sexy guy.”
Kurt: “If so, Ms. Sefton, why stop?”
Amanda: “We came to see the ballet, not get arrested for public naughtiness.” Uncanny X-Men #178

Kurt: "If there is anyone present who can think of a reason why we should not have our heads examined for trusting Spiral, may you speak now or forever hold your peace. Then by the power vested in me as Excaliburs team leader, I pronounce this mission a Go!"
Kitty: "*sniff* I always cry at weddings." Excalibur #109

Kurt: "I want property damage from you, Pete, and lots of it. Make a mess, get them running around in a panic. Oh, and try not to get shot."
Pete Wisdom: "Oh, cheers...." Excalibur #98

"Logan will probably take to gnawing on a photo of you for a few days." -- Kurt, Excalibur #92

Kurt: "If you ever --"
Brian: "Ever--"
Kurt: "Hurt Kitty--"
Brian: "I will, without hesitation, tear off your head."
Kurt: "And I will spend days mocking it and drawing pictures on it before teleporting it into the North Sea!" Kurt and Brian being overprotective of Kitty.

Ive got more, I just have to find them! :oops
Aragorn: "I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of Men fail... when we forsake our friends, and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day. This day, we fight!"
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Post by Lauren »

:*D:*D:*D roflol! That last one was just priceless! *snorts up milk from nose* ugh! I made a mess!
"I am known as Valentinez Alkalinella Xifax Sicidabohertz Gombigobilla Blue Stradivari Talentrent Pierre Andri Charton-Haymoss Ivanovici Baldeus George Doitzel Kaiser III. Don't hesitate to call." -Vash the Stampede


"No, you see I'm blind in my right eye now... So boring. You know what really makes me pissy? Grunge, Heroine chic, and dying are over. I so hate being behind the curve. Tourism's up." Brett(Alan Cumming) from Urbania
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Post by Gambit »

Kitty: Professer! Kurt's getting fur in the pool!
Kurt: I am not!
Evo quote:offtopic
~Remy :remy
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Post by Nik »

Wolverine: "Yeah, Mr. X-- I know its corny, but what else do ya call a guy that changes names an' identities like I change my underwear?"
Nightcrawler: "Well, now that you mention it..."
Wolverine: "Don't screw with me Elf--I ain't in the mood." - Wolverine #161

"Did I put my tail in my mouth?" Kurt, obviously ^_^

Nightcrawler has been hurt in the Blackbird's crash, and is being pulled on a makeshift stretcher by his teammates.
Nightcrawler: Katzchen... are you okay...?
Wolverine: Fresh as a daisy, bub... but if you call me Kitty again, I'm gonna break my rule about slappin' around furry invalids.
X-MEN #80 (Okay, so this one is more @ Kurt that from him but it was funny!)

There's also this one about Kurt wanting to see Star Wars, and Colossus joking about his relation to Chewbacca. I can't remember the exact one now. I'll post some more when I remember.
Aragorn: "I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of Men fail... when we forsake our friends, and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day. This day, we fight!"
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Post by scheherazade »

Originally posted by Nik

There's also this one about Kurt wanting to see Star Wars, and Colossus joking about his relation to Chewbacca. I can't remember the exact one now. I'll post some more when I remember.
That one's

Kurt: "We're going to see "Star Wars." It's one of my favorite films, y'know-- half the cast look like my relations."
Piotr: "Especialy the wookiee, eh?"
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Post by Nandireya »

Kurt really loved Star Wars...

When seeing two young fellows exiting said movie he said to them...

"You young gentlemen like this film? I, also. Chewbacca's my favourite character...I have a friend...who's much shorter...but almost as hairy. And I always let him win too."
:read The Librarian ~ Keeper of Elfin Facts :read

:bamf I'm sick of my subconscious...it's like it's got a mind of its own... :bamf

:D A Touch Of Velvet :D
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Post by Sussi »

Kurt is introduceing himself and the gang to the readers:

"Me. Kurt Wagner. A.K.A Nightcrawler, teleporting Elf, and to certain females in my past, "Blueberry-Muffin"... But I don't want that getting around" -Uncanny Xmen #423
I want a Blueberry-Muffin!!!:lick (Read Uncanny Xmen Nr 423...).

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Post by Tracker »

*After surviving a crash in the Xjet:

"Aye carumba. Bet you thought I was going to say something cute in German, didn't you?" (Uncanny X-men #410)

Gods that one cracked me up.:LOL
Sail away where no ball and chain
Can keep us from the roarin' waves
Together undivided, but forever we'll be free.
So sail away aboard our rig
The moon is full and so are we,
We're seven drunken pirates
We're the seven deadly sins.
~Flogging Molly

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Post by Nik »

That's the SW one! It was drivin me mad for a bit!

Originally posted by Tracker
*After surviving a crash in the Xjet:

"Aye carumba. Bet you thought I was going to say something cute in German, didn't you?" (Uncanny X-men #410)

Gods that one cracked me up.:LOL
*falls off the chair laughing* Oh man, I'm gonna be laughing to myself all day now! Ahh, Kurt so funny ^_^

EDIT!!

More quotes

Nightcrawler: "Katherine. You don't want to do that. Why not give me the sword, eh?"
Shadowcat: "Oh, JOY. It's the Monkey." Excalibur #84

Colossus: "After so long in the gray light of Scotland, cruising aboard the 'Titania' is a welcome surprise."
Nightcrawler: "So long as we don't hit any icebergs!" UXM #360

Kitty: "Rogue has some ribbon in her room, but she's snoring up a storm, and I wouldn't want to wake her."
Nightcrawler: "I could teleport in and out quickly without her noticing."
Kitty: "And stink up the joint? Subtle. But I think she'd notice." Uncanny X-Men #365

Nightcrawler: "...I'm fine ...why are the gypsies dancing the lambada --?" #UXM 366

Nightcrawler: "Ach... I may be accustomed to third-class travel... but this is ridiculous. Antonio Banderas would never work under these conditions." X-Men #80

Nightcrawler: "Please return your tray tables to the upright position and prepare for takeoff --"
Marrow: "What?! No! I hate that! I will not -- BAMF!" :bamf X-Men #85

Wolverine: "You gonna 'port us again, or what?"
Nightcrawler: "And risk appearing inside the wreakage -- or a fellow X-Man's body?"
Wolverine: "Hmm, some interestin' possibilities there, huh?"
Nightcrawler: "Is this really the time for jokes?" X-Men #86

Nightcrawler: (whistles) "That Darn paper boy. It is nearly six and still no paper. (gasp) Acolytes! What ever is a defenseless fuzzy elf like moi to do?"
Voght: "Sarcasm, Nightcrawler? Somehow I expected the leader of Excaliber to be a bit more mature... obsessed with proving himself. I am Voght........ Katu is inuin..... Unuscione (etc) "
Nightcrawler: "You are thinking of X-Factor. But you are the last people to go casting stones in the glass house of interchanging personalities. I have studied the files on the Acolytes -- And I still have trouble telling you people apart. Danke."
Voght: "Thank you for what?"
Nightcrawler: "I always find things go much better... when I know exactly who it is I am beating into submission."
Aragorn: "I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of Men fail... when we forsake our friends, and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day. This day, we fight!"
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Post by Nightstalker »

what about this one?
"I am known as Nightcrawler the famous" said Nightcrawler but is cutted off by Jean Grey

"he's a teleporter" said Jean Grey

in X2 movie
~ :bamf out
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Post by theindigojester »

Originally posted by Nightstalker
"I am known as Nightcrawler the famous" said Nightcrawler but is cutted off by Jean Grey

"he's a teleporter" said Jean Grey

in X2 movie
Actually, the quote is:

Nightcrawler (answering Scott): Kurt Wagner, but in the Munich Circus I was known as the Incredible-
Storm: He's a teleporter.
"A face only a mother could hurl into a river."
:):evokurt:moviecrawler:ultimate;)
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Post by Nik »

All of these are from X-Men Unlimited #49

(Kurt attacks the guards)
Guard: "Intruder! Some sort of demon!"
Kurt: *while kicking their collective butts* "What a horrible thing to say! Words hurt, fella. Try to show a little compassion!"

--------------------------------

Another Subterreanean (sp?) guy: "What is it you want, evil creature?"
Kurt: "Name calling already? What is it with you people?"

--------------------------------

*A while later, fighting begins*
Random Guy: "Kill the beast!"
Kurt: "You'll find killing me not easily done, mein Herr. As you can see! I do have to take issue with what you called me, though. I'm not the Beast. Though it's an understandable mistake, which many make. After all, we're both covered in silky blue fur that drives the frauleins wild! But I'm considerably slimmer, less shaggy and at the risk of blowing my own horn...:bamf I'm at least 37% more dashing on that all-important Errol Flynn sort of way!"

--------------------------------

*Nightcrawler has to duel to save the little girl*
Guy: "Are you ready sir?"
Kurt: "Sure. Hook me up. Oops, almost forgot one thing."
*Kurt kisses the Head of the Clan's daughter...for quite a bit actually ;)*
Kurt: "You are some kind of cutie. Be sure to look me up if you ever visit us upstairs."
Head of Clan: "How dare you take such libterties with my daughter?! I'm going to kill you for that!"
Kurt: "As opposed to all the reasons you were gonna kill me a few seconds ago?"

--------------------------------

Kurt: "Have you ever heard the saying 'All's fair in love and war and rescuing little girls from butt-ugly subterranean whack-jobs?"

--------------------------------

*Kurt is being interviewed by Miss Trinidad*

Trinidad: "Are you a superhero?"
Kurt: "Sure."
Trinidad: "But you're a mutant."
Kurt: "That too."
Trinidad: "You're not ashamed of that?"
Kurt: "Why would I be? Are you ashamed of being born blond and blue eyed? Okay, you may not have been born blond but you know what I'm getting at."
Trinidad: "Well, you look like some kind of devil. Are you a devil?"
Kurt: "Only to pretty girls on our third date."
Trinidad: "I'm trying to be serious here sir."
Kurt: *makes a mock shock face* But, Miss Trinidad, we only just met! It's too soon to get serious yet!"
Aragorn: "I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of Men fail... when we forsake our friends, and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day. This day, we fight!"
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Post by Nightcrawless »

here's some from the legacy quest trilogy books.

"Hey, whats the fun in fighting for a world that hates and fears you if you can't make a stupidly heroic gesture once in awhile?" then he passes out.

"Please, no applause, just---throw flowers!!"
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Post by Shadow_Dancer »

Here’s a couple of good ones I’d almost forgotten about from Excal #31. Written by Scott Lobdell, this basically solo issue is full of witty quotables.

Kurt piloting a private plane about to crash:
“How embarrassing. Every other x-mutant gets to die in battle...from saving the universe from one cosmic evil or another. Everyone except me, Kurt Wagner...the oft-amazing Nightcrawler...dies on vacation.”

After he teleports out of the plane and can’t slow his speed, skipping across the water like a thrown pebble, he crashes into a palm tree:
“Funny, I didn’t think being dead would hurt so much”

In this issue, he is fighting the son of Krakoa, the living island. It keeps replicating forms of different X-men in vegetable matter until it decides to produce replicas of Kurt himself.

As he throws the replica over his shoulder, Kurt quips. “You may have gotten the appearance down pat, but not the moves. Unless of course you’re trying to perfect the way I slam into trees.”

The replica: “You will pay for this.”

Kurt: “I’m afraid my American Express Traveler’s Checks went down with the plane. Maybe I can work off the debt with a little gardening. Is it me or are you melting.”

The replica: “I believe the term is ‘teleporting’.” **Bumph** “I’ve never tried this before, how am I doing?”

Kurt (as he creams the replicate): “Here’s a little piece of advise I’ve learned over the years...Never try-out new powers in the middle of a fight. And for the record, the sound is ‘Bamf’ not ‘Bumph’!”
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines, Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream." Mark Twain

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Post by chicory »

I knew there had to be a quotes section somewhere!

Anyway, could this thread be pinned so that it's easier to find? Or maybe be moved to the FAQ's section?
Contribution: Unlimited #49

Sammy the Fishboy: "How can you be that way Mr. Wagner?"

Nightcrawler: "What way is that?"

STF: "That woman was being so mean to you, and saying all these bad things about us. About mutants... But, you kept laughing it off. How can you act so cool in public? I couldn't do that... not when so many of them hate us."

NC: "The world at large won't come to accept us until they get used to us. And they can't do that if we hide from them. And believe me, I know all about hiding. It's almost like I was designed to do it. I'm made for lurking in the shadows -- even disappearing into them. And if that doesn't work, with my teleportation, I have the ultimate getaway power.

It was a big step when I decided to live my life out of the shadows.

STF: "And you're not scared?"

NC: "All the time. But I'm not about to let my fears choose the course of my life, and maybe someday, that will help show the world how not to let their fears rule them."

STF: "But--"

NC: "Yes?"

STF: "You did run away. You didn't fight that underground guy like you promised."

NC: "Of course. It was the only honorable thing I could do. Long ago, my first fencing instructor warned me, 'Never let scoundrels dictate the terms of honor to you. They'll always use it to manipulate good men into doing stupid things.' Understand?"

STF: "I'm not sure."

NC: "My one duty down there was to rescue Sally White. And risking my life to fight a duel first would have been a betrayal of that duty. I'm free to risk my life, when it's all that's at stake, but I wasn't free to risk hers.

But now that she's safe, I may indeed go back someday and give that fellow his fencing lesson-- personally teach him not to kidnap surface girls. No hurry though. Let him stew a bit."

STF: "Cool. Want to watch your interview again?"

NC: "Sure. You rewind the tape and I'll round up more popcorn."
ETA: Oh, whoops! The reason I was looking for quotes was because I wanted the one of Nightcrawler and Wolverine discussing religion during the brood arc - so if anyone has it and wants to post, I'd appreciate it.

[Edited on 3/7/06 by chicory]

[Edited on 17/7/06 by chicory]
For those who believe, no explanation is neccessary. For those who do not, no explanation is possible. ~Gino Dalpiaz
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Post by chicory »

Haha - I found that quote I was looking for on this rather informativesite. Which - btw - quotes a lot of posts from scrawlers.
From The Uncanny X-Men #165:
Logan: "What's doin', bub?"
Kurt: "What does it look like?"

Logan: "Incongruous. I guess I never figured you for the religious type."

Kurt: "Why, don't I look the part? I admit I'm rarely seen in a church - but I draw comfort from my beliefs and from prayer. Such comfort is dearly needed now - by us all. You should try it, Logan. Who knows, you might like it."

Logan: "I did, in the army. A mistake. I believe in nothin' - never have, never will. What matters is what I can see, hear, smell, taste, thouch - tangible things, physical things. Reality. The rest is imagination."

Nightcrawler: "And you have no use for that?"

Wolverine: "Nope."

Nightcrawler: "I am sorry, my friend. I never realized how utterly, inescapably alone you must be - with nothing to hold onto but yourself. More alone than I - despite my outre appearance - could ever be."

Wolverine: "I ain't alone, bub - I got you. C'mon, lessee if they got any brew on this bucket."
This is one I like a lot too.

Nightcrawler walks into the bar, where Wolverine is already sitting. Nightcrawler is using his image inducer to appear as a Catholic priest, complete with white collar and black shirt.

BARTENDER: Can I help you, father?

KURT WAGNER: A beer, please

LOGAN: Make it a pitcher and three glasses. Put it on my tab.

KURT WAGNER: Thank you, my son.

LOGAN: Knock it off.

[Kurt moves to place his hand on Logan's shoulder in either a consoling or greeting gesture.]

LOGAN: And don't think about touching me unless you're gonna look like you when you do it, Elf.

KURT WAGNER: I'm not certain that's the best idea, my friend. You know how people reat to my appearance.

LOGAN: Jo!

BARTENDER: Show the "Father" your right hand.

LOGAN: Your hand, Jo.

BARTENDER: Always wanted to play show and tell with a priest.

KURT WAGNER: Ah, you don't--

BARTENDER: It's all right, Father . . . I won't lead you into temptation. [The bartender shows her right hand, which is clearly the hand of a mutant. She has a squid-like or octopus-like suction surface on the palm of her right hand, and her fingers are shaped somewhat like tentacles.] I'll have Brady get you boys some peanuts. [She walks away, to give Kurt and Logan some privacy.]

LOGAN: There you go, Elf. No more excuses. [Logan is letting Kurt know that he does not need to use his image inducer to mask his mutant appearance.]

[Kurt touches a device concealed in his belt, and drops the hologram mask that made him look like a normal human priest. Now he appears as his regular furry blue self. He is not wearing a priest's vestments, but is wearing simply a regular shirt and blue jeans.]

KURT WAGNER: Better?

LOGAN: Better is you not having to hide yourself. But it's a start.

KURT WAGNER: You're in a mood.

LOGAN: Has nothing to do with it.

KURT WAGNER: No. Of course not.

[After some small talk, not excerpted here...]

KURT WAGNER: What happened?

LOGAN: Nothing happened.

KURT WAGNER: Certainly something did. You're even more unpleasant than normal. And you could use a shower, I might add.

LOGAN: You think I don't know how I smell? You think I don't know?

KURT WAGNER: Self-loathinig does not become you, Logan.

LOGAN: This from a guy who hides his face?

BARTENDER: You want me to just run a tube from the keg for you?

LOGAN: Can you do that?

BARTENDER: I'll look into it.

LOGAN: What?

KURT WAGNER: She likes you.

LOGAN: That's her mistake.

KURT WAGNER: [Long pause.] What was her name?

LOGAN: What?

KURT WAGNER: The girl who died. The one you couldn't save. What was her name?

LOGAN: Lucy. Lucy Braddock. She was seventeen, Kurt.

KURT WAGNER: Is it working? The beer? Must be hard to punish yourself when your healing factor fights you every inch of the way.

LOGAN: You have no idea.

KURT WAGNER: Yet here you are, doing your best impression of a fish. We have both seen innocents suffer before, my friend. We have both seen the inhumanity of man to his fellow man. Why is Lucy Braddock so different that you drive across the country for three days without rest to meet me here, and to engage in this vain attempt to torture your liver?

[Logan says nothing.]

KURT WAGNER: Seventeen is too young, I agree. Seventy, some would say, is too young as well. We have both seen too much death, lost too many we have cared for. But as trite as it is to say, Logan, death is part of life. Even unnatural death, even, perhaps, murder.

LOGAN: Not murder.

KURT WAGNER: You think? I do not advocate it, of course, but I would point out that every Judeo-Christian religion has murder in the basic text. Cain slew Abel, and thus the world knew murder. One could argue that murder is as natural as dying of old age.

LOGAN: You don't really believe that.

KURT WAGNER: I am no longer sure what I believe, my friend. My grasp of ethical and theological theory is slipping, to say the least. As a result, I am forced more often than not to rely on the facts as I know them. Actions always speak louder than words. You know this better than anyone. Your actions have always mrked you, to me, as a good man. As an honorable man.

[Long pause.]

LOGAN: Three days ago I killed twenty-seven men.

[Kurt stares, speechless.]

LOGAN: Not much to say to that, huh, Elf?

KURT WAGNER: You were enraged?

LOGAN: All the way to the bone.

KURT WAGNER: And these men, they had earned this rage?

LOGAN: You're looking for an excuse.

KURT WAGNER: No, my friend, I'm straining to understand. Because if you tell me that these twenty-seven men were innocents all, then you are everything you have always feared yourself to be. And you would have to be stopped.

LOGAN: And you'd stop me?

KURT WAGNER: No. But I would die trying.

[A long pause as they stare at each other grimly.]

LOGAN: They were a cult. They'd broken a town. Made it afraid. They kidnapped women. Girls. And they used them up.

KURT WAGNER: Then you are describing evil, my friend. And evil begets evil.

LOGAN: Me.

KURT WAGNER: Ah, I see. If that is your question, Logan, I cannot help you.

LOGAN: You were a priest. Absolve me.

KURT WAGNER: Oh, it would be wonderful if it worked like that, wouldn't I? What a world we would have . . . legions of sinners, all committing their crimes with abandon! Safe in the knowledge that absolution was just one quick trip to the church away! They tried it once, you know. During the Middles Ages [sic]. Enough gold, you could be forgiven anything. Would you like that? Such a hollow forgiveness?

LOGAN: Do I need forgiveness?

KURT WAGNER: Isn't that what you're after? Were those men evil? Without question? By killing them in your rage, are you evil? You are unique, Logan. And I do not speak of what has been done to you. Is the wolf evil when it culls the sickness from the herd?

[The bartender flips a sign on the door to show the bar is closed. Logan puts cash on the bar to pay his tab. Kurt and Logan walk out of the bar and stand in pouring rain.]

LOGAN: That thing about wolves . . . I'm not an animal. I'm not.

KURT WAGNER: I know, my friend. I know you aren't.

LOGAN: . . . I'm not . . .

[End of this issue]
And lastly, BamfCentral has a bunch more...somewhere. I couldn't find that section again.
For those who believe, no explanation is neccessary. For those who do not, no explanation is possible. ~Gino Dalpiaz
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