9/3 Issue: Alicats and Angst

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Slarti
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9/3 Issue: Alicats and Angst

Post by Slarti »

Timelined after Portal Puss

Jamie: Jamie adjusted his shoulders in his trench coat while he leaned over the blueprint of the hotel. He had been distracted too much today, so he had to make sure he wouldn't accidentally dupe. Focus on the job. Get the photos of the affair. Why couldn't he ever get hired to take pictures of attractive people? And why were people as ugly as this woman in multiple relationships? No, not why... How?!

Jeannie: Talking to a not-cat had been a great distraction for the afternoon, but on the drive home Jean felt herself getting twitchy again. This suuuuucked. She was trying not to bleed over into Jamie, but it was hard to tell if she was succeeding.

Jamie: Jamie's nose twitched and he rolled his shoulders again. Stooop. He had been fine ten minutes ago. Ten minutes was a long time. He couldn't even hold his breath for ten minutes. Jamie looked up at nothing, then pulled out a notepad. Learn... he started writing, how to hold breath... Was ten minutes enough? Gotta start somewhere. for ten minutes. Good.

Jeannie: The light changed, but Jean didn't notice until the asshole behind her honked. She blinked and hit the gas, realizing she'd been holding her breath. Weird. The car behind her accelerated and she brake checked him for the hell of it, then grinned when the jerk passed her and flipped her off.

Jamie: Breathless trotted into Jamie's office and he looked up at her, tongue lolling out the side of her toothy grin. "What? I fed you." Did you? "Did I? Listen, I don't have time right now to check. I'm busy. Just... wait another thirty seconds, okay?" He looked back down at the blueprint and Breathless yipped at him, startling him. "What?!" He screwed his face up, "Sorry, pup. C'mere."

Jeannie: Jean parked her car just behind Baby, sitting there for a moment to try to sort out her emotions before she went inside. Fuck! She should have picked up something for them for dinner on the way home. Yeah, she was doing great so far with official wife practice. Shit.

Jamie: Worst. Dog dad. Ever. He sat down in his chair and let the dog come hop in his lap. Jamie laughed when she attacked his face with kisses. "Okay, okay. I'm sorry. I love you, too. What's for dinner? Kibble, kibble, orrr... kibble! Right!" He stood and held her under his arm like a football. This won't last much longer after all. "Oh! Mommy's home!" Jamie headed to the front door but Breathless barked when he just stood there. Food. Yep. Kitchen.

Jeannie: She got out of her car and paused to brush off her face. Was it raining? Jean looked up, then around, then gave up with a shrug and locked the door. Jamie knew she was home and he knew she knew he knew she was home. Yep. She grinned when she heard barking and got an image of... puppy chow? The baby's hungry! she giggled.

Jamie: Baby! He grinned at her voice in his head and set the bowl down for Breathless who was dancing under his feet. "Alright! Here! Vacuum." Jamie left her in the kitchen and trotted to the door, opening it instead of just staring at it this time. "Baby!"

Jeannie: "Baby!" Jean noted the coat in place and happily hug attacked him. "You fed the other baby?"

Jamie: "Oof!" Jamie wrapped his arms around her and went with the flow of the movement. Physics. "Yeah, she's eating now." Once they had spun enough to slow to a stop, he grinned down at her. "How was the asylum today? Crazy people still locked in cages?" Or exploded into smithereens and goo and gore... Euargh, whyyyy... Jamie gave her a kiss before she could answer.

Jeannie: Ooo, kiss. That was always an excellent distraction. Jean sneaked a hand down to pinch his ass just when she got a really unwelcome image in her head. Ew! Nope! She broke the liplock, giving him a long look. Then, she shook it off. Good news first! OH. "I talked to an alien cat!" she enthused.

Jamie: Jamie jumped at the pinch, glad for the distraction. "Hey now," he growled playfully. OH! Alien...what? "I thought cats hated water?"

Jeannie: Jean's neck craned back a bit more to better look at him. Her nose scrunched. "Huuuuh?" She blinked. "First of all, some cats like water, second... whaaat?"

Jamie: "Because... to be an alien... it would have to swim..." He shook his head in question. She wasn't getting any of this. "Rio Grande?"

Jamie: OH!

Jamie: "Did it come through Canada?"

Jeannie: Her mental whaaaat continued for a moment. Aha! "Not... that kind of alien, babe..." Jean started to frown, then exploded into giggles. "Canada!"

Jamie: "What's so funny? People can be aliens from Canada, too! Alien just means foreign, dammit." He pouted at her. Waitaminute. "Alien alien?!"

Jeannie: That pout was always her undoing and she returned it, leaning forward to kiss him again when he got it. "Yup! Alien alien!" Jean's eyes rolled up to look at the sky, if it was there. It was not, since it was a water-stained old ceiling, but hey!

Jamie: "...they make those in 'cat' now? Wasn't raccoon and tree enough?" Jamie grinned and kissed her again, then scooped her up and headed for the kitchen. "Breathless, stop being a Hoover and say hi to Mommy."

Jeannie: "You'd think! But nope, cat! Carol has an alien cat! And it talks!" Sort of. Jean squeaked at the sudden lift and wrapped her arms around his neck on the way. "She's a growing girl!"

Jamie: Breathless barely looked up at them, trying to eat around the ball they had to put in to slow her down. "It talks? Like the raccoon and the tree. Nice." He set her down and gave her ass a pat on his way to get a drink from the fridge. "What does it have to say? 'More catnip, meow'?"

Jeannie: Jean wriggled that ass and went for the puppy, ruffling her fur as she nommed. Her tail was wagging! So cute! "Not like the raccoon... it was telepathic. Carol wanted me to interrogate a stray cat that was following her around. So I did!"

Jamie: "And it said more than the smartest puppy in the world? Hmph." He looked over at her, fridge still open, "Want a drink, babe?" Of course she did. He pulled out a fizzy water for her.

Jeannie: "She did!" Jean was using her squeaky voice now, watching the fluff on Breathless' tail swish. "She said lots! It wasn't really words - feelings, images... but I knoooow who the smaaaartest puppy iiiiis. It's my girl!" She looked up to see him fetch her favorite water and grinned. Thank you!

Jamie: Jamie grinned and went over to sit on a stool, handing her the water. "Welcome, babe. Soo... this... cat. Alien. Catalien? Alicat? HA! Alicat. Alley cat." Moving on... "Where's it from? What's it want? I don't have time for another invasion right now."

Jeannie: Opening her water and settling on the floor beside the puppy, she laughed. "Nice! She might be an alicat, or, like, from another dimensional plane? Like... the portal." Jean's cheer wore off a little at that thought. Anyway! "Nooo, she's got good intentions, wherever she's from. She has some crazy memories in that little cat-shaped head.”

Jamie: "The... portal." His shoulders adjusted in his coat and he shifted on his stool. "Send her back."

Jeannie: "I knooow, but no, she's sweet. I don't think she's from that world..." Jean fidgeted, then took a drink, her eyes on the new tile floor.

Jamie: Half of his beer was gone by the time Jean finished talking. It's a trap. "What world is she from then? Meowrs?"

Jeannie: It took a moment to sink in, but when it did Jean snorted, then sat upright, her hand flying to her nose. "OMG."

Jamie: "Ha!" Jamie was proud of himself for making her snort-laugh and beamed down at her. "I'm punny."

Jeannie: She could tell her face matched her hair and she looked up, finally, still giggling. You are! Jean met his eyes and just enjoyed the moment and his bright grin. Fuck knows they hadn't had a lot of happy ones lately.

Jamie: Jamie slid down to be next to her on the floor, then pulled her to sit in his lap. "Just... Make sure Carol keeps her away from us until she's certain of its intentions. No more world hopping, mmkay?"

Jeannie: "I didn't sense anything bad," she said, settling herself with a sigh and draping her arms around his neck. After a moment, she started again. "But... Carol was the one who accidentally led Arcade to our world..."

Jamie: Jamie stuck his pinky in his ear and gave it a wiggle. "Sorry, try again. What'd you say?"

Jeannie: "Um. She wanted us to know, to apologize." He was way too calm, so she knew what was coming. "It was an accident with the stupid basement portal and she already feels terrible about it..."

Jamie: "Yeaaah... That's what I thought you said. Carol... X-Man extraordinaire... SHIELD prodigy... got our baby killed." His hand on his beer bottle was crinkling the label because he was holding it so tight. Jamie's jaw clenched shut and he very carefully slid Jean back to the floor and stood up. "CAROL. That portal was supposed to be destroyed!" He threw his bottle into the sink then gripped the edge of it and stared down at nothing.

Jeannie: Jean hopped up, fighting her own temper. Her hand hovered over her stomach and she fought the urge to touch it. "I know! I know! But... she doesn't... I felt all the guilt, just rolling off of her, and... I didn't tell her."

Jeannie: She watched him for a moment, feeling his turmoil, too. Jean wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her cheek against his back. "I know..."

Jamie: Jamie closed his eyes and forced himself to breathe when he felt Jean holding him. That whole shitshow was Carol's fault. But it was an accident. A stupid accident that could have been avoided. Maybe it was another addiction for Carol? Screwing shit up or the portal? Who knows. Both probably. Shut up, Madrox. "Why didn't you tell her," was all he could get out when he felt like his voice wouldn't be full of rage.

Jeannie: "I didn't want to talk about it..." Jean closed her eyes. "Also, she already felt terrible about it and thought I was going to hate her." Jean drew in a deep breath and tried to keep her voice level. "She was checking out that world... through the portal. Arcade had mutants in a coliseum and made them fight to the death. She couldn't just leave them that way..."

Jamie: "Don't you? Doesn't at least some part of you?" Jamie let his head fall forward further, not making any effort to hold it up at all anymore. "If she hadn't gone, she wouldn't have known. But, since she did... Yeah." The X-Men. Always mucking shit up. This was why he didn't sign up for the team.

Jeannie: "No." She frowned. "Yes?" Jean felt him move, heard the change in his voice. She gave him a squeeze. "I hate that it happened, that we suffered, that our-" Jean's voice cracked and she paused, biting down on her lip. That he killed our baby... but she's suffering too...

Jamie: "Well, it's a suffering of her own making, don't you think?" Fucking hell, man. Be nice. "I don't want to be nice about this. I don't." He growled low in frustration. "But I will. Because you want me to."

Jeannie: Jean stiffened and straightened up, looking at his back. Fuck. The growl made her eyebrows rise. "Being pissed at her won't undo any of it," she said quietly.

Jamie: "I know. I know that." He sighed and picked up a hand to put over hers. "But I want to anyway. If that whole thing hadn't happened, you would still be having our baby and I wouldn't have exploded someone." Euargh. Whyyyy. Jamie's eyes squeezed tight, trying to force them to erase the memory. Not working. No shit! UGH.

Jeannie: "I know." She let her forehead drop against his back. His memories were bleeding into her head, too. Ugh. At her feet, Breathless finally had finished her dinner and was snuffling around her shoes. She sensed the tension, too.

Jamie: "I'm sorry," he said after a long moment. "You're the one who had to go through it, not me. If you can forgive her, I can too." Jamie turned in her arms and pulled her in, holding her close. He smiled down at their pup and breathed in the smell of Jean's hair. "She would have liked to have someone younger than her in the house to take care of."

Jeannie: "You went through a lot too, I know, but I just... can't hate her for it." Jean moved, sliding her arms inside his coat and listening to his heart. "We're... supposed to be the good guys, right?" She looked down at their puppy. "Someday, she'll get a little sister or brother."

Jamie: "Then I won't either. I just... need to process. It'll be fine. I'll be fine." He kissed the top of her head. Good guys. "At what cost, though? When is enough enough?" He winced. "I'm sorry. I know it means a lot to you. I didn't mean it." Did so. Not really. Kinda did. A bit. Not a lot, though. Jamie sighed again. "Maybe we'll get to do it in the traditional order this time. So your parents won't hate me and mine won't roll over in their graves."

Jeannie: Jean now knew that 'need to process' didn't mean 'gtfo' so she didn't panic. Good job, Jean. Also, his internal monologue was loud. "Do... you want me to quit?" His last words made her laugh a little. "You gotta meet my parents first."

Jamie: "No," he said definitively. "I don't want you to quit. You love it and it's important to you. I'm not going to control you." Jamie laughed, but it was wry and humorless. "I already asked you to stop seeing your therapist because she calls a terrorist her 'mom'." Full circle with the parents thing. Can't avoid it forever. He whimpered, "Do I have to?"

Jeannie: "Love is a strong word..." She laughed a little, with more humor than he had about the situation. "I... might want to quit, someday, but... we haven't even gotten started really. Which, I totes know means it could get worse." Jean nibbled her lip and looked up at him. "I kind of really do want to talk to Jess..."

Jeannie: That lip popped out into a pout at the whimper. "Yeeees. Unless you plan to, like, never meet them and let Sarah win that bet that you aren't real and I'm married to a figment of my imagination."

Jamie: "You love it enough to stick with it. And I'm not going to take that from you. It's good for you." He smiled at her and then Jamie's jaw dropped open in mock-shock. "Not real? Not real? I'll show you not real." He growled playfully and tickled her ribs.

Jeannie: "Jamie!" She giggled and flailed, which made Breathless bounce up on her hind legs to paw both of them. Helpful! In her own puppy way. She barked, her baby voice still squeaky.

Jamie: Jamie laughed and ruffled Breathless' ears, giving Jean a minute to breathe. "See? Totally real." He grinned at both of his girls and kissed his favorite redhead. "I have to go on a stake out tonight. Another adultery claim. Wanna come with me? Or are you better with being alone now that you've had some time with an alicat?"

Jeannie: Jean freed an arm so she could pet Breathless, too. She scrunched her nose as she thought about this. "The alicat was cool and all, but I think I still prefer your company." Sometimes watching him be a detective was boring af. But, sometimes, it was pretty interesting. Interesting, and/or hot. Also, quality time with that car. Bonus!

Jeannie: Mostly, though... she didn't want to be alone. Nope. Not better with that. At all. "I'm gonna meet Carol's parents tomorrow."

Jamie: "Kick ass," he grinned. Having her come along was always fun. Sometimes distracting, but he could always make up for the distractions later. "Carol's parents?" That was absolutely not what he was expecting. No segue or anything. "...Because of her new alicat? Orrr... Because she has a portal problem? Intervention type of thing, maybe?"

Jeannie: Jean returned the grin, glad she wasn't annoying him with her clinging yet. "She wanted backup to talk to her mom about being an alien... although the alicat is going, too."

Jamie: "...she's an alien?" He frowned and shifted so he could look at her face. "Did I know that already?"

Jeannie: "I thought so..." Jean blink-blinked at him. "It's not really a secret. She found out from the raccoon..."

Jamie: "I guess it makes sense, if you think about it. She's kinda...woowoo." Jamie grinned at her.

Jeannie: She giggled. "Yeah, but so am I..."

Jamie: It was Jamie's turn to blink-blink at her. "You're... part alien?!"

Jeannie: "No? I mean, I don't think so? But Carol didn't think so either..." Jean thought about this. It had totally crossed her mind before... "I meant the woowoo part..." She frowned. "But she did mention space birds."

Jamie: "You're not that woowoo. I would be surprised if you were an alien, babe." Jamie gave her a kiss on the forehead. "Fire can't survive in space. No oxygen. So, you're safe."

Jeannie: Jean decided now wasn't the time to tell her Carol had offered to go with her to space. "Well, I'd be surprised too, and my dad would have lots to explain." The kiss made her smile and she grinned up at him. "But my fire isn't real fire, sooo..."

Jamie: "Your dad? How's that work? Now I'm really nervous about meeting your parents." He shrugged one shoulder, "It's real enough."

Jeannie: "Me and Rachel have the same powers... so it has to come from his side of the family." She laughed and floated up to slide her arms around his neck. "Stoooop. Don't be nervous."

Jamie: "Oh. Yeah, I guess that part makes sense. I was thinking he had an affair, not your mom, but that wouldn't make sense. Guess I've not fully turned off my work brain for the stake out tonight." His arms slipped around her waist and he grinned at her. "The only thing I'm nervous about now is tripping over the end of my coat when we get bored and move to the backseat tonight."

Jeannie: Coat. Right! She wriggled in his arms and bounced a bit. "I miiight have a solution for that, although it won't help for tonight, but maybe later this week?"

Jamie: "I miiight have a solution, too! It's called getting my project done." He enjoyed the wriggling and the bouncing. More of that, please. Jamie squeezed her gently and leaned in to kiss her. They had about an hour before they had to leave, right? Right!

Jeannie: Ooo, kiss. Jean let herself be distracted for a moment, then broke the kiss to boop his nose with her own. "That too, but I'm getting one of those SHIELD inhibitor bracelet things."

Jamie: "...why? You don't need one." He frowned at her then his eyes suddenly lit up, "For me to examine?! Babe! That's so nice! Thanks!"

Jeannie: "Examine?" She laughed at his expression. So cute. "Sure, but also... you could, I dunno, use it..." Jean brushed her mouth against his. "Naked."

Jamie: Ohhh. Except... "I dunno, babe." He was enjoying the closeness and the lips and the jiggling, though. "It might not work. Part of the reason my dad made mine into a shirt was because it put blockers on specific things, preventing the x-gene, although we didn't know that was what it was for a long time, from multiplying into another version of me. But, not preventing it from letting my brain do its thing." Naked... "I would need to test it first. Away from you."

Jeannie: Jean shrugged a shoulder. "It worked on me, so it should definitely work on you. It works on Carol even... mostly."

Jamie: "Yeah, but it completely shut off your brain from mine. So that means that it might not work the way it's intended on me." He arched an eyebrow, "And especially if it only 'mostly' works on Carol."

Jeannie: "Well, alien, remember?" Jean's nose wrinkled. Did he not want to be able to get naked? "That's because it was on me, not you."

Jamie: "Well, nobody really understands my power, remember?" He blinked at her, "Right. But that means that it'll shut off the part of my power that lets me use my brain the way it works. Ya know, with the all the parts of me chiming in with their take on things?"

Jamie: Of course he wanted to get naked! But there was no guarantee it would work. Maybe if it gets taken apart, then put back together? But then it wouldn't hit the core spots on the torso. Maybe it would give ideas, then. That could work. "I'll take it apart and put it to good use. Promise."

Jeannie: She was going to be sleeping with a coat for the rest of their lives, wasn't she? "Take it apart?" Jean hoped she didn't have tone, but she prolly did. Shit.

Jamie: "Well... Yeah? How else am I going to figure out how to make it work for me? I don't know what they put in their inhibitor things. I have to figure out the inner workings of it before it will stop the inner workings of me. Safely. Where I can still use my brain."

Jeannie: Jean closed her eyes and gave up. They didn't even have it yet, so there was no point fighting over it. "Okay. Just... test it out before you take it apart?"

Jamie: "I can do that. How else will I know what to fix?" He grinned and gave her another kiss. "Oh, c'mon. Lighten up, Jeannie. I'm excited to see how it works!"

Jeannie: She smiled a little into the kiss. Sorry... I guess I just want things to be... normal again.

Jamie: Normal is relative. Also, it was kind of blown into smithereens along with Arcade, sooo... Jamie held her tight. "We can do this, babe. We can make anything work. Promise."

Jeannie: Jean let her teke go, forcing Jamie to hold her up when she wrapped her legs around him. "Yeah, we can." She tried to sound more sure than she felt.

Jamie: Jamie frowned at her and shifted his hands to her thighs, holding her up as he walked her towards his office, puppy following close behind. "We can! One step at a time! Step one, get photos of the cheating whore."

Jeannie: "Hey! I'm not- oh... the job..." Jean felt herself turn red and let her head thunk to his shoulder.

Jamie: He laughed and jostled her around on purpose until he got to his desk, plopping her onto it, next to the blueprints. "I would never call you that. Just so you know. Never did, either." Jamie tapped the room on the blueprints they were going to be scoping out. "If you're going to be my assistant tonight, you need to know where to look, right?"

Jeannie: "Well, that's a relief," she said with a faint laugh. "I'm definitely not now, although it's still kind of debatable about before, too, since I totally didn't even know I was supposed to be your girlfriend yet..." Jean cut herself off with a wince. Babbling. Great. "Um, right!" She leaned to look at the blueprints next to her ass.

Jamie: When she was distracted, he pushed her down to the desk (carefully) and gave her a sound kiss. "I'm better than pink mohawk and you know it, so I'm fine." He nibbled his way down her neck. "I'm betting that the adulteress won't be having as much fun as you do with me. She's hideous. I don't get it."

Jeannie: "Sooo much better, OMG." Jean found herself on her back, with Jamie kissing her throat. Better in every way, yep. She stroked his hair with the fingers of one hand and slid the other under that stupid coat. "Maybe she has an attractive personality?" she giggled.

Jamie: "Uh huh... sure." This shirt. So confusing. Why were there so many sections that looked like where you should take it off from? He growled a bit but didn't let it deter him, suckling on her skin through the thin material.

Jeannie: She knew he wasn't worried about the cheating woman or Quire right now, since through the fog of her growing horny - and his - he was totally diagramming her shirt and how to remove it. Jean giggled and gave him a one-armed hug, wrapping her legs around his waist. "You are so perfect."

Jamie: That was not the reaction he expected and it gave him pause. Jamie lifted his head to look at Jean in confusion. "Thanks! But...I've not done anything yet." Can't do anything yet. Stupid shirt.

Jeannie: He was lost. Lost and horny. Jean craned her neck to look at him. She smiled, threading her fingers through his hair and smoothing it back from his face. "Yeah, you have."

Jamie: He gave Jean a grin, knowing she was trying to be sweet, so he was trying to temper his desire. It wasn't working. "Give me permission to wreck your clothes and I'll have something done lickety split." Lickety split? Brain isn't firing on all cylinders, okay!

Jeannie: Awww, he got it. Jean brushed her thumb over his cheekbone. It was a whole moment, and she loved it. Then he asked to ruin her dress! Of course he did! She laughed "Do you know how much this cost?! A lot, that's how much."

Jeannie: She bit her lip for a second as she studied his face, still fighting giggles. "Let's get it done, babe!"

Jamie: His face lit up like a kid on Christmas morning and he gripped bits of the fabric, tearing it open to reveal her skin. Much better. Jamie shoved the clothing down enough to set his mouth to her ribs, kissing just under her bra line. "Best. Day. Ever."
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