Things We'd Never Hear the X-Men Say

The X-Men! Spider-Man, Iron Man, the Hulk, the Fantastic Four, Thor, Captain America, and more!
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Things We'd Never Hear the X-Men Say

Post by Cibo »

Storm: Emma, would you give please me the number of your plastic surgeon? I think my boobs are getting sacky...

Emma: You know, I started wearing long trousers to cover my cellulitis.

Cyclops: My powers suck so I've finally decided to poke out my eyes. Anyone got a toothpick?
Havok: Great idea! And I'll chop off my hands with a razorblade.

Xavier: From now on, you all will be wearing these "I'm with stupid --->" t-shirts over your uniforms and those false moustaches. With this new comical and likeable appearence humans will look at us in a whole different way and finally abandon all fear and hatred they hold against us.

Northstar: I'm cured! I'm not gay anymore!

Lilandra: I just loooooove watching Star Trek.
And now there's life/ And a chance to make up for all those mistakes/ But please don't get me wrong/ Cos everything was honest/ True and from the heart/ There's still the same old hang ups so don't fret/ It's not safe yet/ And who knows there's always time to screw up again
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Post by Angelique »

Wolverine: It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day for a neighbor...

Iceman: Me so excited, me cannot hide it. Me so hot! Hot! Hot!

Storm: I can't stop the rain against my window...
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Post by steyn »

cerebro / cerebra : "I'm sorry Xavier, I can't let you do that."

You get it?!? Cerebro speaking, but like HAL 9000?!? It's funny!
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Post by wsg »

Xavier: Please MTV, pimp my ride!!!
"It's one o'clock bub! Time ta get yer face ripped off!"--Logan
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Post by TemperDarkholme »

Wolverine: I've always wanted to be Michael Jackson!

Kurt: I know this may be shocking...but I got a sex change. See?

Xavier: I am an agent of Magneto's and I shall betray you all with your secrets!

Scott: Don't mind me. I'm just a stalker.

Mystique: This is the song that never ends...yes it goes on and on my friends...

Wolverine: I love you, you love me, we're a happy family...

Wolverine: I'm ditching the cigars and cigarettes to fulfill my lifelong dream of becoming THE NUTCRACKER PRINCE!!!!!!!!

Xavier: Will you being wearing a tutu?
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Post by Crocodile Hunter »

Wolverine: cheerio
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Post by Bluefuzz »

Nightcrawler :worship oh great master Mephisto!

[Edited on 9/1/07 by Bluefuzz]
Enter witty banter here
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Post by BlueVelvet14 »

Kurt: Hi Sage!
Sage: Hi.
Kurt: Aren't you coming?
Sage: To what?
Kurt: You told me you were gonna help me with Kitty's birthday decorations.
Sage: Whoops! I totally forgot about that!


News Reporter to Kurt: You look like the devil. Are you?
Kurt: Only to pretty girls on our third date.
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Post by BlueVelvet14 »

Shadowcat: Kurt, what happened to you!?!
Nightcrawler: I got stuck in the Mojoverse.
Shadowcat: So...your a girl?
Nightcrawler: Yes.
Shadowcat: OMG!!! Beast was right! I AM lesbian!
Nightcrawler: Who is he to say you are?

(Nightie chages back to normal)

Shadowcat: Hooray! Do you know what that means?
Nightcrawler: That Beast is a deuche bag?
Shadowcat: No. I'm straight!!!!
Nightcrawler: (thinking) maybe I should tell her I'm gay.
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Post by Ult_Sm86 »

Scott: "DUDE I JUST FARTED!" *bwahahaha

Blob: "You know what...maybe I don't need this last Big Mac."

Charles Xavier: "I think I'd rather hit the wheels today instead of walk, thank you though."

Magneto: "You know what...maybe Humans are okay. I'm gonna go play frisbee with one."
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Post by BlueVelvet14 »

Azazel: You know, I just love these great family moments.

Nightie: Smoke if you got'em!
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Post by Angelique »

Kurt: Look, Squirrel Girl! A bird feeder! Let's raid it!
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Things We'd Never Hear the X-Men Say

Post by Bobj1 »

Juggernaut to Logan: Lets be PALS!

Logan: YAY!

Nightcrawler to Mephisto: YOUR MY IDOL!!:worship

Xavier: GUESS WHAT? X:Men: What? Xavier: CHICKEN BUTT!

Apocalypse to Sinister: Nathaniel? Sinister: Yes Apocalypse: I think its time I revealed my true feelings for you Sinister Whats going on? Apocalypse: I LOVE YOU!!! Sinister: ME TOO!

Magneto: I'm a Barbie girl in a barbie world!

Magneto to a human: I LOVE YOU!
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Post by Bamfing_Bob »

lol, Chicken Butt.

Angel: Sorry. I can't. I'm afraid of heights.

Colossus: You know, the whole "metal skin" thig is overrated...

Nighty: Does this tail look my but look big?
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Post by Elfdame »

Wolverine: I'll have the chablis and an egg-white omelette.
"Humanity is a parade of fools, and I am at the front of it, twirling a baton." From Chapter 9 of _Brother Odd_ by Dean Koontz / from Chapter 10: "Life you can evade; death you cannot."

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Post by steyn »

Xavier while hooked up to Cerebro and talking to the team while they're on a mission.

"We need more dots! Where ar the dots? Hit them like you need it. When you get to 40% stop throwing dots.....watch the tail." *someone else comes in to cerebro goes away* "WHO THE F#@K WAS THAT!?!"

if you don't get that, watch this, warning, language. : Link
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Post by Bobj1 »

How about this

Any Character dies but doesn't come back!
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Post by Elfdame »

NO kidding, Bobj1!!! Truth!!!!

Hubby came up with this (he doesn't read X-men but, having me as Wifey, gets inundated with unwanted tidbits of X-lore): Professor Xavier: "I didn't really need to track anyone. I just like coming into the Cerebro room to get away from those annoying muties!"
"Humanity is a parade of fools, and I am at the front of it, twirling a baton." From Chapter 9 of _Brother Odd_ by Dean Koontz / from Chapter 10: "Life you can evade; death you cannot."

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Post by Esynthia »

Originally posted by Bobj1
How about this

Any Character dies but doesn't come back!
What, you mean like Sabretooth??? :toothy
*ducks a smack from Scummy*

[Edited on 6/9/2008 by Esynthia]
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Post by Elfdame »

Give them time. Didn't Thunderbird even come back? I mean, really Marvel people. This willing suspension of disbelief gives one a mental hernia after twenty years or so. *snicker*
"Humanity is a parade of fools, and I am at the front of it, twirling a baton." From Chapter 9 of _Brother Odd_ by Dean Koontz / from Chapter 10: "Life you can evade; death you cannot."

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Post by Esynthia »

Shhhhh. Don't tell Scummy that, it might give him a false sense of hope. *ducks again*

[Edited on 6/9/2008 by Esynthia]
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Remy: he feels lust for everyone
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Post by Elfdame »

Go set something unimportant on fire and quit being mean to the dear boy.
"Humanity is a parade of fools, and I am at the front of it, twirling a baton." From Chapter 9 of _Brother Odd_ by Dean Koontz / from Chapter 10: "Life you can evade; death you cannot."

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Post by steyn »

Well, Maggott died, the only real South African X-Man, and they went and killed him off....and he's STILL dead. Which is a major shame.
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Post by Ult_Sm86 »

:sammy :"I'm back and I'm going to wreak pointless and ineffective vengeance on all of you with my Squid army!!"
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Post by Angelique »

This one is for the musical theater geeks.

Wolvie: Oh, what a beautiful MOR-ning...

Oh wait. We kind of did hear that, didn't we?

[Edited on 9/6/2008 by Angelique]
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