3/1 Instance: #Cooking is Evil

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Slarti
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Title: Damn Not Given
Nightscrawlearth Character: :icey :phoenix

3/1 Instance: #Cooking is Evil

Post by Slarti »

Timelined right after Daddy/Daughter Bonding

<Shaw> After a diaper change, Miriam was happily installed in her bouncer in the kitchen while her father rummaged around in the back of the refrigerator. Jessica kept it somewhere back there, carefully hidden, yet labeled.

<Hope> While the child had gotten her diaper changed, Hope had set about scavenging for food. "I can totally cook right? It can't be that hard."

<Shaw> "We do have cold cuts, I suppose... and take-out menus." He found his prize and set the jar on the counter, locating the bottles they kept for these occasions. Now, hopefully he could put the thing together. "Check the cabinets? See of there's anything you'd like to attempt?"

<Hope> "Cold cuts? What are you, 80?" Old man Shaw... she gave him a look before pulling out a box from the back of the cabinet. "Macaroni and cheese! Score! You must have snuck that in."

<Shaw> "What? They don't require actual cooking and sometimes Jimmy Johns is closed." He returned the look, going back to his bottle assembly. Where did the nipple go? "Ah, a step up from ramen - Jessica will be delighted with our progress."

<Hope> "Or never leave us alone for meal times again," she reasoned. Challenge accepted. She set the box down on the counter and poked it. "How do you cook this stuff?"

<Shaw> "It has instructions, I believe." He smirked, then made a sound of triumph when the bottle clicked together.

<Hope> She paused what she was doing long enough to look over at him. She didn't know a whole lot about babies, but she knew enough to know that wasn't formula. Which meant... "Eeeewwwwww! Do you seriously keep that in the fridge?!"

<Shaw> "Well, where else would we keep it?" He was highly amused now, and picked up the jar, carrying it toward her on the way to the sink, giving it a little slosh.

<Hope> The box of mac and cheese when flying as Hope whacked it in her flailing escape.

<Shaw> Sebastian's laughter echoed in the kitchen while he fetched a pan to fill with water.

<Hope> "So not funny. So, so not funny." She smoothed out her hair and clothes as she stood back up. She snatched up the box and looked for directions. "You actually read directions?"

<Shaw> "Well, occasionally." Only when absolutely necessary. He took out another pan to hand it over to her. "You'll need this."

<Hope> She accepted the pan, turning it over in her hands. "I guess so..." She eyed the microwave, but moved to the sink and filled the pan with water.

<Shaw> "Like you, I wasn't born with a silver spoon, as you well know, and so I do have some experience." At least she knew enough to put water in the pan, he observed, turning on the stove to reheat the milk. Jess had instructed him well enough on that count. Miriam was still kicking away in her bouncer, thankfully waiting patiently.

<Hope> "I lived on my own you know. For awhile. I was a waitress." She set the pan on the stove, turning it on. That felt like a lifetime ago. It was a lifetime ago. She pulled out her phone and took a picture of the pan, sending it to Shinobi [#I can cook!].

<Shaw> Sebastian watched her with her phone, eyebrow raised in amusement. "I know." He leaned on the counter, watching Miriam reach for her toys. "You must have been an incredibly sassy waitress."

<Hope> "I got the best tips... usually from the lumberjacks and pipeliners." She smirked and read the directions on the box. "So.... boil... then add some pasta. That doesn't sound too hard."

<Shaw> "I would imagine." He smirked. "The tricky part is getting the pasta back out, which is rather vital to the... powdered cheese element."

<Hope> She looked over at him quickly. "Why haven't you hired a chef?"

<Shaw> "Because I have Jessica," he pointed out with a grin.

<Hope> "Who isn't here, and doesn't always make what you want her to make," she pointed out. When she finally moved out again, she was so getting a chef and a maid. She hopped up on the counter to wait for the water to boil.

<Shaw> "No, but she enjoys cooking. It relaxes her. Moreover, I like her cooking." Sebastian checked the milk. "Water takes an infuriating amount of time to boil, and Miriam is getting restless." He eyed Jess' electric kettle.

<Hope> Hope rolled her eyes. Of course he liked her cooking. Stupid husband thing. "The point of a chef is that they cook what you want them to cook."

<Shaw> He checked the kettle and flicked it on. "A watched pot never boils, unless we give it a little assistance. And who said she doesn't cook what I want her to cook? With a few notable exceptions, which I'm happy to purchase elsewhere."

<Hope> "I said doesn't always," she pointed out. "And you're all married and stuff. It's different." She couldn't order Jess about and it was just awkward to ask. Nope. She could do this on her own. "It will boil regardless when the temperature reaches 212 degrees. Watching it has no impact on the temperature."

<Shaw> Sebastian gave her a flat stare. "Irregardless, we're going to give it a bit of a push, yes?" He went to the fridge and fetched milk and butter, dropping them onto the counter beside her. "Unless you'd rather use Miriam's milk, of course," he added with a sly smirk.

<Hope> "Nobody wants that. That's just gross." She wrinkled her nose at him and texted Shinobi again. "Yeah sure, give it a push. I'm hungry."

<Shaw> "Miriam wants that." He laughed, checking on the kettle, which was almost ready.

<Hope> "She wants a boob. Not that bottle," Hope pointed out, laughing and swinging her legs slightly.

<Shaw> "Yes, well, don't we all." The kettle was finished so he carefully poured the water into both pans.

<Hope> "Ummmm no?" She laughed again. "I can safely say that I've never wanted a boob. Okay, that's kind of a lie. I did want boobs." She looked down at her own chest.

<Shaw> Sebastian's eyebrows shot up, but he decided not to comment. For once. Instead, he swirled the jar of milk around in the pan, willing it to heat faster.

<Hope> Sighing, she glanced over at the pan on the stove. "Do we have a thermometer?"

<Shaw> "Likely, somewhere. I'm certain Jessica would use one. I find the recommendations that you not microwave breastmilk... odd."

<Hope> "I microwave everything, so I don't know why you can't." She shrugged and hopped down to dig through drawers for a thermometer.

<Shaw> "Agreed. It may well be some sort of old wive's tale, but I'll follow the instruction..." Lifting the jar from the water, he gave it another swirl while wiping it down with a towel. Carefully, he unscrewed the lid and raised an eyebrow at the contents. "You're right that it doesn't bear thinking about too closely."

<Hope> She smirked at him. "Well... it's your wife..." She wrinkled her nose again. Gross. So gross.

<Shaw> "Indeed it is..." Fascinating. He reached across to the bottle and filled it halfway, giving it another swirl before replacing the nipple and testing the milk on inside of his wrist. It felt... wet.

<Hope> Hope watched him curiously. "Did you ever think you'd be doing this?"

<Shaw> "Once upon a time, I expected to have a family, just like my parents." He considered this, testing it again and then giving his wrist a sniff. "Then, for a very long time, I assumed it would never happen. Or, later, I believed if it did, through some abstract machinations, it would be as a means to an end."

<Hope> She looked back down at the drawer, resuming her search. "I get that."

<Shaw> Wiping his wrist, he went to Miriam, picking her up and sitting on the bench beside the bouncer. "But now... it's worth it." He settled his daughter against his chest and offered her the bottle.

<Hope> She found the thermometer and placed it into the water before hopping back up onto the counter. She looked over at Sebastian, smiling a bit as she watched him and twirled a piece of her own red hair. "Seems like you are suited for this... family life... thing."

<Shaw> "I'm as shocked by this as anyone." He looked up at her with a smirk, pleased Miriam seemed to be happy enough with the bottle.

<Hope> "I don't think you are," she smirked back. "You always wanted this. Just didn't think you'd have it."

<Shaw> "That is true enough." He checked Miriam, who already had her eyes closed. "Never say never."

<Hope> She snorted. "You heard my boyfriend's answer to that. Nope."

<Shaw> "Boyfriends may change, Hope, and I'm not even - for once - saying that as a deterrent to your relationship." He sighed, recalling the flat, accusing stare he'd received from his faux son that day.

<Hope> "I know that. But I'm saying it doesn't look like I'm in an immediate danger of having... that." She nodded at him and the baby. Course, Chris hadn't wanted babies either. She quickly looked back at her cooking.

<Shaw> "No, certainly no immediate danger." Sebastian considered this and cleared his throat. "From my research on Essex's other... work... his clones were generally sterile. There was less chance of furthering any genetic degradation in the population by creating... further copies." He shifted, uncomfortable now that he'd thought about it, and the implications for her and Shinobi.

<Hope> More secrets. She swallowed and stared into the flame on the gas stove. "Good thing we don't want to further the genetic degrading then."

<Shaw> "Indeed." He shifted, watching the tense line of her back. "Hope... once he knows... there is additional testing that can be done, to ensure he's healthy."

<Hope> "Good idea," she consented, looking down at her shoes. "Still want to tell me you don't believe in curses?" She asked, turning to look at him and unknowingly, nudging the macaroni and cheese box into the flame.

<Shaw> "I don't." He gave her a reassuring smile. "All his preliminary test results are good, and he's unusual in that he's not a one-source clone, love. He's a hybrid, so there was more... genetic material at play in his creation, just like a normal child." Miriam snuffled, nearing the last of the milk in her bottle, and he looked down at her. "So, while I don't want to say we're certain everything is fine, his chances are quite good."

<Hope> Hope sighed and moved to sit on the bench beside Sebastian, resting her head on his shoulder. "I hope he's fine."

<Shaw> "So do I, love." Miriam was fast asleep and he eased the bottle from her grasp and shifted to burp the child. Ah, the necessary evils. A strange scent wafted through his perception, but he ignored it. "He deserves an opportunity, as do you."

<Hope> She smiled at that, staying where she was. "He definitely deserves a shot at being happy. He saved my life."

<Shaw> "Much to Tony's- Hope, love?" He looked up at the same time he realized that scent was more than just a bit of smoke from the stove. "That's... a problem." On the stove, the box of mac and cheese was shooting flames a good two feet upward, and he was helpless with Miriam in his arms.

<Hope> Hope shot to her feet, but she was fascinated by this. How in the world did she catch a pot on fire? She moved in closer, going to turn off the stove when the fire spit at her. She screamed.

<Shaw> The fire alarm blared and Miriam awoke with a wail when he tried to put her in her bouncer. "Hope, there's a fire extinguisher, or you can take Miriam."

<Hope> "The fire is attacking me! It wants revenge! She quickly moved to him, taking the screaming child over the attacking fire any day.

<Shaw> With Miriam safe, more or less, Sebastian moved to the stove and had to reach through the flames to flick off the burner, swearing at the singe.

<Hope> Hope covered the baby with the blanket, moving her out of the smoke filled kitchen and headed for fresh air... somewhere. To David! That's where! She saw him running and grinned. "Hey! We need fresh air for the baby."

<David> "What the hell happened?"

<Shaw> He tipped the pan of water from the milk onto the fire, then moved for the extinguisher, still swearing.

<Hope> "I might have caught the kitchen on fire cooking?" she told David, wincing a bit.

<David> David just stared at her. "What were you cooking?"

<Hope> She coughed a little. "Macaroni and cheese."

<Shaw> The fire was out, and he poked the scorched pot with the nozzle, raising his arm to glare at the burn there as well. Widget arrived, chirping in excitement, and he ordered the alarm silenced.

<David> David was speechless. "Just... go downstairs. Open a window.” He moved around her to go check on the kitchen, slightly surprised to see Sebastian in there.

<Hope> Hope shrugged and headed down to the first floor. It was easier to escape from there anyway.

<Shaw> "The fire is out," he told Sum when he arrived, plonking the extinguisher onto the counter and picking up the soggy box. "I'm guessing she left the box too near the flame, or knocked it over. She did that earlier."

<David> "So her obsession with take out is for everyone's sake. Good to know. I sent her to the first floor to get fresh air." David checked the kitchen over just to be safe.

<Shaw> "She still has the baby, yes?" He dragged out a trash can and pitched the box, staring at his arm and turning on the cold water to run over it until his own healing compensated.

<David> "Yes, she has the baby. Why does she have the baby?" This was just as baffling as how she caught macaroni and cheese on fire.

<Shaw> "She was upset - the baby, that is," he smirked, picking up the pan and inspecting the damage. Jess was going to kill him.

<David> Shaking his head again, David sighed. "I'll go check on them. Guess I need to shadow her more closely."

<Shaw> "Well, you can't watch her every moment. There was no real danger, only... smoke damage." Sebastian flicked on the exhaust fan. "I'll be down momentarily."

<David> Not pointing out that he didn't really need to sleep, David just turned and headed back down the many, many... many stairs. He hated this house.

<Hope> Hope glanced up when David came in the room finally. "She just stopped crying," she marveled.

<David> David smirked. "She likes you."

<Shaw> The stove bore a black mark, and he could only hope that it would buff out. It was more than he could say for the pot, so he trashed it as well. Turning to open a window, Sebastian glanced at his arm. It was healing, finally, so he cleaned up Miriam's bottle and poured out the remainder of the milk.

<Hope> Hope wrinkled her nose a bit, but secretly, she was glad. "I guess she does. I mean, what's not to like right?"

<David> Rolling his eyes, David opened a couple more windows.

<Shaw> There was little else he could do at the moment, so Sebastian started down the stairs to join the others.

<Hope> "Look, look, your daddy is coming. Yay for your... our... I don't know the correct pronoun here." Hope considered that for a moment. "Our..." So weird.

<Shaw> "My girls indeed," he said with a smirk, moving over to them and giving them a careful hug. "One of you may be a tad more trouble than the other."

<Hope> "Hey... at least I can wipe my own ass." She grumbled, resting her head against him.

<Shaw> "Thank God." Sebastian kissed the top of her head and gently petted Miriam's hair.

<Hope> Laughing, Hope relaxed a little and David slid off to return to his lurking ways. She sighed. "I am a lot more trouble."

<Shaw> "Yes, but it's Jessica who shall seek vengeance for damages to her beloved kitchen."

<Hope> She cringed. "I'm going to go into Witness Protection."

<Shaw> "That might be a good plan," he admitted with a laugh.

<Hope> Hope shuddered. "Should I get a hotel room for tonight? Run and hide?"

<Shaw> "I don't think any of that will be necessary." He was still laughing, now uncaring about the kitchen, or his arm.

<Hope> "You think that! I just burned her kitchen. Are you kidding me?! She is going to want blood."

<Shaw> "It was only a small fire..." Miriam was asleep again, and he stroked her hair and cheek.

<Hope> Hope just gave Sebastian a look, but softened and offered him the baby again. "Yeah. Only a small one. That totally attacked me. Speaking of..."

<Shaw> "It didn't attack you," he scoffed, taking his daughter back and closing the windows. "Let's go back upstairs, we should start the fireplace... the smoke smell will help cover our tracks, yes?"

<Hope> "It did. It totally did. The coat rack fell on me the other day too. Is your house haunted?" Or was she haunted?

<Shaw> "I don't believe so," he laughed, then realized she was serious. "Because the coat rack fell on you?" Gesturing for the stairs, he started up.

<Hope> "Yes! Two things attacked me. Fire and coat rack. Shinobi was the closest person and he was halfway down the stairs when it happened." She followed him, pulling out her phone to text Shinobi. [So I loved being your girlfriend. I have to go into Witness Protection now. #I can't cook.]

<Shaw> "Perhaps the coat rack was simply overbalanced?" He built a little pillow fort for Miriam and placed her inside, then went to start the fire.

<Hope> Hope gave him a doubtful look. "Don't you try to engineer a way out of this." She moved to sit by the kid, peering in awkwardly.

<Shaw> "I don't believe the house is haunted, love." He stacked logs and located the tinder. "I would say that's just coincidence. After all, the saying goes that once is happenstance, twice coincidence, but three times... that's enemy action."

<Hope> "Does the door slamming and I don't remember slamming it count?"

<Shaw> He paused, mid match-strike, to give her a dubious glance. "No."

<Hope> She pouted a bit, texting Shinobi again. [And nobody believes me that the house is trying to kill me.]

<Shaw> "So, if the house isn't haunted, what are the alternatives?" The fire was now crackling merrily and he stood. There. Now he would just need to clean... extensively. Or, order Widget to do it.

<Hope> "Johnny is haunting me specifically...." she blurted out.

<Shaw> "Pardon?" he turned and stared at her in shock.

<Hope> Since she was on the floor already, Hope brought her knees to her chest. "He controlled fire."

<Shaw> "I'm aware of that, but why would you believe he's haunting you?" He moved over to her and levered himself down onto the floor beside her.

<Hope> "For all the reasons you just dismissed." She raised her toes, tapping them down again on the floor.

<Shaw> "Yes, but why? Why would he?"

<Hope> "I don't know! Because I maybe love Shinobi more and he's jealous from beyond the grave?"

<Shaw> Sebastian blinked in surprise. "Do you now?”

<Hope> "I said maybe...." she answered quickly. "I don't know! Why would those things happen if it isn't him?"

<Shaw> "Well, let's just assume it isn't him for a moment," he said. Since that was obviously insane. "Perhaps it's your abilities?"

<Hope> She rolled her eyes and raised her toes off the floor again, digging her heels in. "Nobody in range has a power that would get that effect."

<Shaw> "Perhaps you do." He gave her a bland smile.

<Hope> "I was really, really mad when that happened. I thought Shinobi and Yukio... anyway it was dumb. But I was pissed. I thought about slamming the door, and it slammed behind me. The coat rack just fell a few minutes later."

<Shaw> He blinked, since that was an obvious answer.

<Hope> She had just kind of realized it too. She looked up at him, shocked as her toes tapped the ground again. "How many more powers am I going to get?!"

<Shaw> "It's impossible to tell, but if it's telekinesis, that's quite closely related to the telepathy you've already manifested." He looked at the fire, considering this. "Perhaps you should try to affect a change of some sort. To move something small."

<Hope> She looked around the room for something small and light that wouldn't break. She settled for a throw pillow and stared at it. She knew how telekinesis worked. She'd used it somewhat frequently at the school. But that was when she knew she was in full control of a power. She chewed her lip, fingers going to her hair and twirling a bit of it.

<Shaw> Sebastian shifted to watch her concentrate, extending his arm along the seat of the sofa behind her and catching Miriam's tiny foot in the process.

<Hope> She thought about the pillow slowly moving across the room to her, and her eyes widened as it zoomed into her hands. She blinked.

<Shaw> "Well," he laughed. "I do believe that answers that question."

<Hope> She whacked him with the pillow. "You think?"

<Shaw> That just made him laugh harder, not bothering to fend off the pillow.

<Hope> She ran a shaky hand through her hair, sighing. "Guess I have something else to practice now."

<Shaw> "It certainly seems so. You are acquiring quite the collection of abilities. Now, let's hope the incident with the fire was related to the telekinesis and not another ability. Say, pyrokinesis.

<Hope> She shuddered. "I don't want that power. At all. I hope it's just telekinesis too." She hugged the pillow to her chest.

<Shaw> "Well, I'm afraid I can't offer you any personal assistance on telekinesis, but you can certainly practice. Again, at least it doesn't seem terribly powerful. Perhaps you can practice on Shinobi." That idea amused him more than it should.

<Hope> The idea amused her far more than it should too. She smirked, then giggled. "Maybe I will."
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