3/21 Instance: We're Off to See the Cannibals

[tears~fall~like~glass]

timeline: current


Jamie: Jamie adjusted his night-vision monocle as he knelt carefully by the roots of a tree, using the magnifying glass to try and look at what he thought might be a clue. But it just looked like a giant green blob. He frowned and flipped the night-vision off, turning on the light on his forehead, and looking down again. Ah ha! ...A leaf. He sighed and got up again, tip toeing through the woods to try and find something the police missed.

Johnny: Unlike Jamie, Johnny lacked the necessary tools for snooping about a crime scene. He hadn't even thought to bring a flashlight, so he'd resorted to using his phone as one. As he made his way through the darkened woods, he vaguely wondered if he was even going in the right direction and paused look around, going completely still when he thought he heard something.

Jamie: Jamie froze, legs wide, and arms outstretched in a T-shape, head staring to where he thought he'd seen a light. His head jerked from that side to the other, then back again. It was gone now. Hmm. He picked his right foot up really high, knee to his chest, turned his torso, and set his foot down far away from him. Then, he repeated with his left foot, making his way slowly to the light area.

Johnny: He breathed a curse under his breath when the screen of his phone blackened for the thousandth time and clicked a button to make it light up again, shining it around. He squinted into the darkness, attempting to locate the source of the sound. However, he wasn't able to see anything past a few low-hanging branches. With a sigh, he continued on his way.

Jamie: There it was again! Jamie turned his light back off and the night-vision back on. I'll get you my pretty! And your little cannibal too! He stopped and frowned at his thoughts, shaking his head at himself. Where did that stuff come from? He shook it off and continued sneaking towards the light, aiming his nerf gun around a tree. "Ah ha!" ...Raccoon. Darn.

Johnny: At the shout, Johnny turned sharply, holding his breath. Shitshitshit... There was someone else out here with him, and they were likely going to eat him. He was too awesome to be chewed on! He started toward the nearest tree, deciding it was as good a hiding spot as any, and found himself rolling across the forest floor instead, echoing his thoughts, "Shitshitshit!"

Jamie: Jamie was suddenly frightened beyond belief. There really was someone out here! What was he going to do now?! He cautiously moved towards the yelling and flipped his light on quickly with one hand while firing the nerf gun with the other. "Freeze!"

Johnny: He shielded his eyes at the bright light, squeezing them shut as he shouted, "Please don't eat me!"

Jamie: "Only if you don't eat me!" ...Something wasn't right about this... He shrugged and shot more nerf pellets. "Die, evil cannibal!"

Johnny: Wait... It wasn't a cannibal? Cautiously peering out from behind his arm, Johnny protested at being shot in the cheek, "Hey, I'm n-- Ow! Quit it!"

Jamie: "Never!" Jamie actually had to quit it though. He was out of ammo. He frowned hard at his gun then threw that at the man on the ground. "Take that! Ha!"

Johnny: After having the plastic gun bounce off his shoulder, Johnny decided he'd taken enough abuse and pushed up off the cold ground to throw himself at Jamie, tackling him around the waist. "Yeah, well... Take this!"

Jamie: Jamie produced two dupes, one for the impact of the tackle, another for the impact at the ground. They both then proceeded to dogpile on top of Johnny and the original Jamie. And then Jamie flailed underneath them. "Can't... Breaaaathe!"

Johnny: "Gah!" Johnny wasn't having much luck breathing either with the added weight and found himself struggling for freedom from the multiplying cannibal party, "Let me go!"

Jamie: "Me... First..." Jamie wheezed out while the two dupes were high-fiving each other and making up a secret handshake.

Johnny: Johnny finally managed to twist around and shove the other two off, rolling off Jamie. He simply stared up at tree limbs for a few moments, trying to catch his breath. Then, he realized he didn't have time for that because there were cannibals! He scrambled to get to his feet.

Jamie: Jamie could breathe! He sucked in the dupes and took a second to enjoy the air then jerked his head to the side as the cannibal scrambled to his feet. "Oh no you don't!" Jamie started to throw his magnifying glass then thought better of it. He didn't have another one after all! "I'm going to call the school!"

Johnny: "No, you're not because I'm going to call the school!" It was then he realized that he had no idea which direction the school was in, so he grudgingly added, "...Once I find it." Oh, yeah, he had his phone! Oh... No, he did not. He must've dropped it when he tripped over the tree roots. "I mean, once I find my phone..."

Jamie: "Not if I find it first!" Jamie scrambled to his feet and ran in the direction that Johnny had rolled in the grass and fell to his knees with his night-vision on, scrambling about with his hands to move leaves. "Don't eat me while I search!"

Johnny: Johnny dived for where he thought the mobile device was located, blowing out a mouthful of leaves with a disgusted face. Then, he blinked, "Why would I eat you?"

Jamie: "Because! You're a cannibal! Duh!" Jamie thought that one was obvious. He rolled his eyes and threw leaves and sticks over his shoulders to deter Johnny while he searched. "Have you found it yet?!"

Johnny: "No," he answered as he patted the ground around him, adding, "And I can't be the cannibal! You're the cannibal!"

Jamie: "I'm not a cannibal! I'm Jamie!" He held up the phone in triumph, "Found it!" He tried to turn it on, but it was passcoded. "Oh. Here," he handed it over, "I don't know your password."

Johnny: "Oh..." Johnny took his phone and swiped his finger across the screen, unlocking it. Then, he passed it back, stating, "Well, I'm Johnny." Shit. Why had he just handed his phone over!?

Jamie: "Thanks!" He searched through the contacts for Xavier's office phone. Nothing. He dialed a number he remembered at random and put it to his ear. "Now we'll see what's what!"

Johnny: He leaned over to press his ear to the other side of the phone, brow furrowed as he listened to it ring, "We will, and it'll prove I'm not the cannibal!"

Jamie: "It'll prove I'm not the cannibal!" He tapped his toe in wait, holding the phone at an angle so Johnny could hear better. <You have reached the voicemail of Namor. I am unavailable currently as I am saving the school from littering! Namor shall prevail! *BEEEEEP*>

Johnny: "How is Captain Ankle Wings going to prove you aren't the cannibal?" Johnny skeptically asked, glancing over to Jamie.

Jamie: "It's not my fault you don't have Xavier's office number programmed into your phone!" He realized he'd not hung up yet and sheepishly talked into the phone, "Hi, Mr. Namor, sorry to bother you! Enjoy your day! Oh, this is Jamie by the way! Bye!"

Johnny: "It's also Johnny, and I didn't mean anything by the ankle wings thing! They are totally cool!" Johnny quickly added from the background, rolling his eyes as he reached for the phone to hang it up. Scrolling through his contacts, he held it up for Jamie to see, "I do too... It's not my fault you didn't realize he's in it as Sir Snooze-a-lot."

Jamie: Jamie rolled his eyes at Johnny, "It's not my fault you make fun of our teachers! Call him then!"

Johnny: "No, I'm so not waking him up! ...Plus, neither of us can be the cannibal if he's our teacher," Johnny pointed out.

Jamie: Ohhh... He was right... Jamie frowned at him, "Then why are you out here where the cannibals live?"

Johnny: "To find them and stop them from eating more people?" Johnny answered as if it should be the most obvious thing in the world.

Jamie: "...With just your cell phone? Yeah right!"

Johnny: "Not everyone can be a super spy!"

Jamie: "Then..." Jamie stopped in his accusations and grinned, "You know what? You're right. I'm the only one I know of. Besides Dick Tracy, of course, but he's not real, so he doesn't count."

Johnny: "What about James Bond?" Johnny suggested before peering around and adding, "Have you actually found anything?"

Jamie: "He's not a spy! He's..." Dangit! He's a spy. "He's... a womanizer!" Yes! "...No. Have you?"

Johnny: "He is too! And... What's wrong with being a womanizer?" In response to Jamie's question, he shook his head, "Nope."

Jamie: "It's mean! That's what!" He frowned and looked around, "Shoot. Oh! What if?! What! If?! We teamed up. Whaddya say, non-cannibal buddy?"

Johnny: Johnny glanced around the forest once more and quickly nodded. It was a lot less creepy out here with someone else. "I say I approve of this plan."

Jamie: Awesome. He wouldn't get eaten if he had someone else to throw to them! "Cool. So.. Um... Wanna start tomorrow? I need a fizzy pop."

Johnny: Considering that, he gave a shrug, "When it's light out?"

Jamie: "I like that plan a lot better than this one... I got attacked tonight. Not fun."

Johnny: "Agreed. Being attacked is never fun," Johnny sagely nodded. "So... Do you which way the school is?"

Jamie: "Um..." Jamie spun in a slow circle, making sure his night vision monocle was on. "Nope. Pick a direction?"

Johnny: Spinning in the opposite direction of Jamie, Johnny froze when he decided one way felt right and pointed, declaring, "Back to the school!"

Jamie: "Maybe," he cried triumphantly and started in the direction Johnny picked. "If we get eaten, I'm haunting you."

[Ferguson]

This is the most dynamic of duos. I request more of these shenanigans!

[Slarti]

Wow, they have the secondary mutation of making each other even dumber!

[Chaos]

MFW this instance:



The future of mutantkind rests on the shoulders of people like this. o__o

Mother of EBIN. :DDD

[steyn]

LOL, funny!

[PanicSwitch]

Dumb and Dumberer

I approve of this crack!