3/12 Instance: How to Save a Life

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tears~fall~like~glass
Dread Pirate
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3/12 Instance: How to Save a Life

Post by tears~fall~like~glass »

timeline: current


<Cecilia> Cecilia wandered along the hall towards the medlab, hoping to find one of the three doctors and convince them to let her learn another simple medical procedure. It was a small hobby of hers, coming down here and watching them work and pestering them to teach her and occasionally her work even paid off.
 
<Cecilia> She smiled wryly at Jason's comatose- or was it brain dead? No-one seemed able to agree which it was- form, giving him a mock salute as she passed like she so often did. "Afternoon, Jason."
 
<Cecilia> She paused though at the sight of Hisako. "...Hi," she said awkwardly, tilting her head. She hadn't known Hisako was down here...not that she paid the other girl much thought recently.
 
<Hisako> Cringing, Hisako turned, "....Reyes-san.", she nodded back, turning away and cupping her hands. She sat on the edge of one of the beds, eagerly awaiting Doctor McCoy's return with her blood-work. Conversation was not on her agenda - the things that could change in a moment....
 
<Cecilia> Cecilia smirked a little meanly. "Lemme guess- the condom broke and you're waiting on the test results?" She laughed a little harshly and flopped down on the opposite bed. "Ooorrr you gotta rash in a really embarrassing place?"
 
<Cecilia> "No, no, wait! I know. You're finally seeking help for your IBS!"
 
<Hisako> Hisako clenched her teeth, resisting the urge to just run away. She turned back to look down at her hands, nails grinding into her own skin, "...I used Kick to make myself more powerful. I almost died because of it from a brain hemorrhage.", she looked to Cecilia again, eyes darkened, "Thank you for the concern."
 
<Cecilia> Cecilia's laughter withered and died almost instantaneously- the words turning to ash in her mouth. "...What?!" She exclaimed, eyes widening. She had heard Hisako...but she felt so thrown by the statement it felt like she hadn't. "How much of it did you take? For how long?"
 
<Cecilia> Her expression darkened. "To make yourself more powerful? Oh for fuck's sake. Is this about that stupid fight you had with Clarice again? 'Cause I gotta tell you, Hisako. You took that far too hard at begin with and at this point it's downright irrational. I explained to you why you didn't win, Fabian even warned you what would happen but you didn't listen and took it all way out of proportion and look where it's gotten you."
 
<Hisako> "....I already have a councillor.", Hisako responded, "More also: you never give me the 'concerned friend' vibe so much as the triumphant bitch.", she turned to Cecilia, eyes scowling, but appearing more hurt than anything, "You wanted to offend me? You did. You wanted to kick me when I'm down? You have! And now you want to be right?", she couldn't help the tears falling from her eyes.
 
<Hisako> "Well, you were! Ok!? I was weak and I was desperate, and now you have your victory!", she sniffed, wiping her eyes on her sleeve, "So why don't you laugh, Cecilia!? Laugh at me! You laughed before, why won't you laugh now!?"
 
<Cecilia> "…Because it doesn't make me happy!?" Cecilia said, laughing despite herself in an incredulous and pained tone. It was a terrible thing, she thought, that she always laughed at the wrong things. "What you think I take some sorta sick joy in seeing you hurt?"
 
<Cecilia> "You think I enjoyed watching you dig yourself into a deeper hole and isolate yourself even further everyday? You think it didn't hurt to lose you as a friend?! Well I didn't and it did!"
 
<Cecilia> "I never claimed to be a good person," Cecilia continued, eyes going shiny and voice getting hoarser the more she spoke. "I'm not forgiving or kind or selfless. I can be petty and occasionally even cruel, but for fuck's sake, I'm not a complete monster! I was angry at you, but I didn't want you to die! I never wanted that!"
 
<Hisako> Turning away, Hisako found no words to respond. She felt hollow, her heart sinking deeper than she thought it could. In a way, she felt it would be simpler if Cecilia had just laughed at her; now she wasn't sure what to say.
 
<Cecilia> Cecilia shook her head and scrubbed roughly at her eyes. "...Y'know what the worst part was? Watching you do that to yourself was like watching a tiny Japanese version of myself. Similar problems with the same damn people only in this case the moment of clarity came too late."
 
<Cecilia> "I wish to Christ you didn't have to learn like this..." Cecilia shook her head and was silent for a long moment. "...I'm sorry I made fun of you when I came in. I didn't think and I was an asshole...and I'm really sorry now."
 
<Hisako> "....forget it.", Hisako breathed quietly.
 
<Cecilia> Cecilia sighed and got up, sitting down next to the other girl. "For fuck's sake, Hisako. What the hell have you done? And how the fuck do we fix it?" That was the better question there.
 
<Hisako> Hisako shrugged, "I already told you. Also, I am fixing it. W-with....Laura-chan's help."
 
<Cecilia> "That was a rhetorical question and I meant social damage not physical damage," Cecilia clarified. "Or is Laura helping you out with that as well?"
 
<Cecilia> "Unless you'd rather remain enemies with Fabian, that's also an option, I almost did." She smiled and shook her head at that. God, things changed.
 
<Hisako> "All I wanted was to deal with my issues. To be left alone when I needed it.", Hisako explained, back still turned, "But I didn't get that. I got scrutiny and insulted by 'friends'.", she offered air quotations for that, "Then, when I thought I had conquered it all, become better, I fell down. And I was weaker than before. Shameful..."
 
<Hisako> She laughed dryly, "Then you come here and tell me you want to help me...after insulting me again. As if all you wanted was for us to be friends, yet you pushed insults day in, day out. All the time. Never offering anything more than hurtful words.", she looked over her shoulder, "Fabian was the same. I tried to distance myself, but he kept on coming to me."
 
<Hisako> Hisako shook her head, turning away again, "All I wanted was to help myself. And not be judged, but you both couldn't do that, could you? You couldn't leave me alone. Turning it around to be me who is the bad person."
 
<Cecilia> "We...were trying to help," Cecilia said carefully, a little stung. "Trying being the key word here. Him with his usual practical pig attitude and me ever so subtlety," she said a bit self-deprecatingly. "Because we saw someone else struggling and wanted to help."
 
<Cecilia> "In the end though I guess we both got frustrated- neither one of us is particularly patient- and just...responded in different ways. I got angry and he got patronizing and...I dunno. Perhaps we did more damage than by trying to help than we would've done doing nothing."
 
<Cecilia> "I wasn't the calibre of person I needed to be to help you," Cecilia said. "For that I'm sorry. I fucked up more than once...but to be fair, I was facing an incredible amount of resistance for reasons I'm still unclear about. I'm not saying I'm not at fault here, but you also made it very hard to help you, Hisako."
 
<Hisako> Turning to Cecilia, Hisako sighed, "How can you help someone who doesn't want help? I didn't want your help - you said it yourself it wasn't good help. I knew this, why could you not accept that?", she pointed at the other girl, "You said it yourself: 'I remind you of you'. Maybe you just assumed wrongly that you could fix my life..."
 
<Hisako> "I should know when I need help.", she nodded, "That is true, but you and Fabian....you don't get to tell people what is right and what is wrong. And how dare you try, Reyes-san. Arrogance is a trait we share, at least..."
 
<Cecilia> "That and fucking pig-headedness," Cecilia said a tad bitterly. "And I shouldn't have tried. I shouldn't have 'cause it wasn't just me and Fabian you didn't want help from- you thought you didn't need help at all. I was deliberately beating my head against a brick wall, but I did it anyways 'cause I wanted to help."
 
<Cecilia> "And you did need help!" Cecilia said, eyes narrowed. "It's not in my nature to sit on the sidelines and watch my friends struggle and suffer. And I didn't claim to want to fix your life. I just wanted you to get along better with some people and not take a loss so hard. Believe or not, I thought you'd be more like me. Stubborn...but not willing to lose everything in favour of being right."
 
<Cecilia> "Pride is also a trait we share," Cecilia said, pointing a finger. "But the difference there was I wasn't willing to lose everything just to keep mine intact."
 
<Hisako> Shaking her head, Hisako turned her back, "I've never been close to anyone, so I don't understand why you think we are so close as friends. I don't understand you. I didn't want to be right, I wanted you to accept I think differently than you.", she sighed, "I see that you are so understanding(!)", she stood, lifting her bag.
 
<Hisako> "We're different people, Cecilia. That's all. I only wanted you to understand that.", she stepped past the other girl, "I didn't mean to argue with you or Fabian. I just wanted you to let me figure myself out. Instead you tried to make me into someone I couldn't be."
 
<Cecilia> Cecilia couldn't help but think it would've felt far better if Hisako had just stabbed her with her sword. "Right... of course we're not," Cecilia said flatly. "My mistake..." Clearly.
 
<Cecilia> "I didn't know what you wanted," Cecilia said, standing up and walking past Hisako. "But now I do and things are suddenly so much clearer. So thank you for clarifying that. It would've been nice to know from the beginning and not have to go through all that but fine. It's all over and done now. I won't be bothering you anymore."
 
<Hisako> Hisako nudged Cecilia's back in response.
 
<Cecilia> She sighed irritably. "What?" She asked, turning. Her face the impassive mask she most often wore in the Hellfire club.
 
<Hisako> "......I'm sorry.", Hisako said, face straight and looking into her eyes, "You....meant well. And I didn't care. But now I see....so thank you."
 
<Hisako> She smirked wryly, looking away, "Not that I was wrong or anything....", she joked.
 
<Cecilia> Cecilia bristled. "If you're playing with me..." She felt her anger surge. "You...no, you can't just do that. You can't just tell me that we were never friends and then just...pull this shit!" Her eyes snapped away. "And you say you don't understand me! I don't understand you."
 
<Cecilia> She shook her head. "I've been put through the wringer too many times with you. I dunno what you're doing now but I'm not sticking around to find out. Goodbye, Hisako. I'm sorry it had to end like this."
 
<Hisako> Opening her mouth to say something, Hisako paused. Now wasn't the time. If she and Cecilia were anything alike - as she'd claimed they were - then space was necessary for now, "If you say so.", she nodded somewhat solemnly.
 
<Cecilia> "I do say so," Cecilia said, slamming the door with enough force that it just might've woken up Jason- if there was anything to wake up. What the fuck was up with his chick?! She had no idea and didn't think she ever would. The only thing she did know was she was going to wash her hands of this whole ordeal.
 
<Cecilia> For the millionth time Cecilia wondered why she had bothered to make friends when she'd gone most of her life without them. Some reward they brought.
 
<Hisako> Hisako frowned, looking down at her hand, "...Tousa...", she whispered to herself, unsure as to why. She looked up at the door, "...I...did try, didn't I...."
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