1/21 Instance: Cards Against Humanity

[Ferguson]

Current Timeline


<Fabian> Fabian thumbed through a few unfamilar boxes in the bookshelf of the rec room. "Bored...bookshelf, entertain me." He frowned and pulled one of the boxes at random, coming over to the sofa to have a look and see what the game was.

<Fabian> "...I've found a game where Keanu Reeves is a possible answer. This must happen."

<Pym> Pym was eating an apple and walked in to see Fabian begging for relief from boredom to a bookshelf. "You know there's a tv right there. And a lot of books in this thing called the Library."

<Fabian> "Read my fill and I'm not a big fan of television. Ths looks much better." He leafed through more of the cards, snorting and went for the rules.

<@Cecilia> "Hey, I like 'The Matrix.' Morpheus was great in that," said Cecilia, sitting up from where she was lying on the couch. "What game is that?"

<Fabian> "Cards of Humanity, sit down people, we're doing this." Fabian snorted as he looked over more of the cards, shuffing the decks and dealing hands out.

<@Cecilia> Cecilia looked at the cards and balked. "What the hell? Fabian!" She cried, frowning. "This is so dirty!"

<David> David popped his head around the doorframe. "I hear card games happening. I am down for hustling all of you out of your money." He walked over, snagging a chair on his way.

<@Cecilia> "No money involved," said Cecilia to David. "If there was I'd never play, I don't have any to spare." She passed him the rules. "Take a look."

<Pym> He fumbled with somewhere to put the apple core and then decided he'd shrink it and eat it. He promptly did so. Sitting "indian-style" he began to go through the cards. "So what is this like? Go-Fish?"

<Fabian> "Basically, we each get ten of these cards here with 'answers' and we take turns plopping down the question cards and fill in the blanks. The person with the funniest answer wins and the person who put the question card down chooses the best answer." Fabian finished dealing everyone in and plopped down the first question card. "What would grandma find disturbing, yet oddly charming?"

<Pym> "... My grandma used to be upset about Starlight Express but I don't think that's an option I have."

<Fabian> "So you guys plop down a card and I judge, then next round starts and you put the question card down and judge, Hank."

<@Cecilia> Cecilia frowned. "Alright...I guess I could try playing this." After all she did promise to be less of a prude. Gingerly she picked out a card. "Chutzpah." And placed it down in front of Fabian.

<David> "Face up, or do you turn 'em over at the end?" David gleefully singled out his answer, dropping it into the middle face down.

<Pym> Hank placed his card down with an uneasy smile. "Face down I'd think, right? For the surprise?"

<Fabian> "Every Grandma should like Chutzpah, what've you guys got for me?"

<Pym> Pym flipped his over. "Jews."

<Fabian> "Nice! We have a theme going!"

<David> David flipped over his card, revealing Lance Armstrong's missing testicle.

<@Cecilia> Cecilia hoped chutzpah was a good enough answer, though frankly, she had no idea what it was. She just hoped it wasn't something terribly sexual because if it was she was definitely going to hell. But then she was already...hm.

<David> "It was a lot of work getting that."

<Fabian> "...okay, I've got to give it to David...while your answer did show balls, Cee, his showed a specific ball."

<@Cecilia> "...Thank you?" said Cecilia, a little nervously. Fuck! She was going to hell. It was probably another name for a vibrator or something. Shit...

<Pym> "Wait were we supposed to be honest? Because one of my grandmothers really has a thing against Jews. Both my moms are constantly telling me to not bring it up when we go over for holidays."

<@Cecilia> "Your grandmother is my worst nightmare," said Cecilia, raising an eyebrow. "This is why my parents always warned me against dating white guys."

<Fabian> "You just pick the funniest one in your hand...we don't need to know about your anti-semetic gran." Fabian chuckled, passing the question deck over to Hank. "Hey, my grandmother is dead. Does that make me safe?"

<Pym> "Ouch. Actually I'm pretty open-minded individual, I think. I'd even be so bold as to say a comment like that professes genuine close-mindedness. I would never not date someone because of their race, sexuality, religious belief, and maybe even gender."

<Pym> "And yeah... that should make you safe. Okay what do we have?" He pulled the card. "Oh jeez."

<@Cecilia> "I don't care if your grandmother tried to burn a cross on my lawn. No amount of prejudice will affect who I date or don't date," laughed Cecilia to Fabian. "I do what I want."

<David> "Draw a card already. You're making a game with pictures of boobs as an answer boring."

<Fabian> "She was more about hating Franco than anyone else apparently so we're okay on that front."

<Pym> "Okay, 'Coming to Broadway this season, ____ the Musical.' "

<@Cecilia> Cecilia pushed her card. "Sexual Tension." Over to Pym. If that wasn't funny she didn't know what was.

<Fabian> "Well, to continue this theme." Fabian made a great show of pulling out his card and put on his grandest voice. "Coming to Broadway this season, Dead Babies the Musical!"

<Fabian> "They're on puppet strings, the tap number has an option of pulling limbs off a few nights after opening night...they get a bit stringy."

<@Cecilia> "That's horrible!" Said Cecilia, frowning. "Children are a gift..."

<David> David flipped his card up in the middle. "Not my best work, but MechaHitler."

<Fabian> He mimed making all the dead babies dance on the table. "Dance for your salvation, unbaptized hordes!"

<@Cecilia> Cecilia rolled her eyes at 'MechaHitler.' Remembering her freakout at Fabian in the first week of school...she'd changed a lot in that time.

<Pym> He laughed at them all. "Okay... well I love Sexual Tension the musical, but I'm pretty sure it already exists and it's called 'RENT'. I like MecaHitler but, honestly Dead-Babies is the most ridiculous and that seems to be the goal of the game."

<Pym> "Dead babies the musical is the winner." He admitted with a grin.

<@Cecilia> ...She just prayed this didn't result in a similar argument as she watched Fabian's Dead Babies card win. God...

<Fabian> "Deaaaaad babies, aren't much fun. You can't leave them in the sun! The cops will see and you will run. Deaaaad babies, aren't much fun."

<@Cecilia> "You laugh now, but when you're a parent you won't find it so funny," said Cecilia confidently. At least she hoped not.

<Pym> "Nah, it could potentially still be funny." He admitted.

<David> "I wonder how frequently you'd have to change up the performers. Seems like it might run up the costs."

<Fabian> "Just have an abortion clinic sponsor the show."

<@Cecilia> "Right, moving on," said Cecilia, getting more and more annoyed, drawing a card and blushing furiously. "How did I lose my virginity?" She practically squeaked.

<Pym> Pym scrunched up his face. "I don't think they have enough funds to waste on that."

<Pym> Pym eyed Fabian. "... I dunno, should we ask Fabian?"

<@Cecilia> "Shut up!" She snapped at Pym.

<Pym> Pym snorted and covered his smile. "Sorry!"

<Fabian> "I'm working on it." Fabian smirked and looked through the cards. "So, so many possibilities."

<Pym> Pym went through his own deck and pulled out just the right card. "Wamm-o." He placed it face-down.

<Fabian> Oh god, he couldn't use the raping and pillaging card for this. "Whipping it out!"

<David> David slid his "The Devil himself" card over facedown.

<@Cecilia> Cecilia spluttered, actually gripping the chair arms to avoid flailing. Yes, she promised but dammit it was so hard to not flail right now!

<Pym> Pym flipped his over. "I chose... 'Finger Painting'. That's how you lost your virginity. Finger painting."

<Fabian> "...that sounds like fun, actually."

<David> "Well, I guess we know what the paint container was."

<@Cecilia> "...Actually, that was not as bad as I was expecting," said Cecilia, cringing a little less. "Hmm...Well, you're pretty terrible, Fab. So I'll go with David's answer. 'The Devil himself.'"

<Fabian> Fabian snorted hard into his cards. Oh, if this didn't get him in trouble he would be so lucky. "I can be a Devil in that situation, yes."

<David> "Woo! Winning on judge bias is the sweetest victory!" David gave a little fistpump.

<Fabian> He gave Cecilia an extra eyebrow wriggle just for shits and giggles.

<Pym> "Aw, boo." He shrugged.

<Fabian> "...seriously though, the finger painting?" He looked to her for a reaction on if that was a good idea or not.

<@Cecilia> She blushed even worse at that. "Well, just being honest," she said boldly, teasing.

<@Cecilia> She gave Fabian an odd look. "I have no idea what that even means!" She exclaimed.

<Pym> "Okay, I don't need to know this stuff." He said, covering his ears and closing his eyes tight. "Next card."

<Fabian> "It means...finger painting."

<@Cecilia> "If that's a euphemism for something I don't even wanna know."

<David> "Well, looks like if we don't hurry this along, we're going to have an intermission while these two have a "learning experience'", he exaggerated the air quotes.

<Pym> "Oh, christ... David." He couldn't help but smirk at that.

<@Cecilia> "I hate you all," she said, sinking down in her chair.

<Fabian> Fabian was absolutely going to have to buy some body paint after this just to show her...maybe he'd try and paint a horrible new tattoo on to scare her before. My Little Pony might have to happen after all. "I'll make it better."

<David> "Question time," he drew the card, "While the United States raced the Soviet Union to the moon, the Mexican government funneled millions of pesos into research on ____."

<Fabian> "An erection lasting for more than four hours!"

<@Cecilia> Cecilia facepalmed and put down her card. 'Heart Warming Orphans.' "If yours last that long you need to stop taking viagra and go to the ER," she said, redfaced. "That's dangerous."

<Pym> Pym put his next card out. "I think this one is actually pretty truthful and accurate. 'Being Marginalized' is my card."

<David> "I think the Americans perfected that for them."

<Fabian> "Oh yeah, that's an ER trip...I just want to know what the waiting room would be like."

<@Cecilia> "Awkward."

<Pym> "Impressed?"

<Fabian> "Is there a special place for those this happens to to go to? Is there a jousting tourney?"

<Pym> "Sir Lance-A-Lot."

<Fabian> "Imagine the urinals in this place!"

<@Cecilia> "NO! And if that happens you can go yourself!" She said, laughing. "And if I'm working there don't you dare show your face there!"

<Fabian> "Hey now, if I was having this problem you'd be there with me, wouldn't you? Are you going to abandon me to my fate?"

<Pym> "The horrid fate of a long cold shower?" he wondered.

<@Cecilia> "...Fair point," she said. If she ever wanted to get laid again she'd have to.

<David> "I'm going to have to go with the erection lasting more than four hours. I admire the can do attitude."

<Pym> "Aw, hell." Pym couldn't catch a break.

<Fabian> "Yes we can." Fabian punched the air and drew the next question card. "What don't you want to find in your Chinese food?"

<@Cecilia> Cecilia cringed as she gave her card. 'A stray pube.' "I'm going to hell, I just know it, not for missing confirmation or being a bad Catholic or blaming the Lord. For that card and that card alone."

<Pym> Pym put out his card. 'Blood of Christ'. "I don't know how that can't win."

<Fabian> "He does compel me...but if it was Christ's pube that would be even better."

<David> "Look at the bright side, Cecilia. If it's all downhill from here, you may as well enjoy the ride." David tossed Dick Cheney over.

<Fabian> "...this is an impossible choice, I want none of this in my Chinese!"

<@Cecilia> "You don't care for Chinese much anyways," remarked Cecilia. "You always frown whenever I mention it."

<Fabian> "That's because the Chinese here is a lie, a damnedable lie. I'm going to go with the Blood of Christ just because American Chinese makes me depressed now."

<Pym> "Huzzah!" He cheered. "I win one!"

<Fabian> Of course, his Chinese also got frozen here but that wasn't something he was going to bring up during game time...just in case Bobby was somewhere in the air.

<@Cecilia> "...I like sweet and sour sauce," mumbled Cecilia.

<Pym> "Me too, Cecilia. And lo mein."

<Fabian> "Well, it's sort of been ruined for me, maybe one day."

<@Cecilia> Cecilia raised an eyebrow. She could guess what the problem was based on a few comments he'd made in the past...but not now. "Right who's next?"

<Pym> "Moi." he pulled a black card. "Okay _______ : Kid tested, mother approved." He snerked at that.

<Fabian> "...can I have my erection lasting longer than four hours back?"

<@Cecilia> "FABIAN!"

<Fabian> "Whaaaat?"

<David> "I think I've got this one in the bag." David set his card aside.

<@Cecilia> Cecilia slapped her card. 'Skeletor.' Down on the table. "Don't be gross!"

<Pym> "It depends on if you guys can do it that long..." He suggested to Fabian.

<Fabian> Fabian frowned, waffling between three of the cards. "The point of the game is to be gross, isn't it? Fine, the entire Mormon Tabernacle Choir."

<@Cecilia> Cecilia gave Pym a dirty look. "It's against the rules anyway..."

<Fabian> "I will gladly try."

<David> "I think I've got the gross front covered, then." He revealed his card. "Pedophiles. Aww yeah."

<@Cecilia> Cecilia facepalmed again. "Kill me now."

<Fabian> "My hat is off to you, my good man, but do your pedophiles sing while they do their thing?"

<Fabian> "And is it through sacred underwear?"

<David> "Come with me. And you'll be. In a wooooorld of pure imagination."

<Pym> Pym laughed hard at David's card. "Okay... Fabian, yours is great, Cecilia yours is funny. Albeit safe. Sorry for picking the same player's card twice but seriously -- this guy knows how to tickle my funny-bone. David wins again."

<@Cecilia> "Fabian, I swear to Christ," said Cecilia, frowning. "I am trying to rise above this but I am about to hit the fucking roof."

<Fabian> Fabian pouted a little bit. "But it's just the game..."

<@Cecilia> "That's why I haven't left!" She said. "I just want you to appreciate the fact that I am trying."

<Pym> Pym leaned over to David and whispered "You know how they say 'opposites attract'?"

<Fabian> "Do you want to stop?" He just looked confused.

<@Cecilia> "No, I've already been scarred for life," she admitted. "It won't make much difference now. But for the record? This is the most fucked up card game I've ever played!"

<David> He whispered back, "As long as they don't bounce off and head back the other way."

<Fabian> "Good, because there's no way I'm leaving without playing this card." He waved his favourite from his hand. "Right, your go, Cee."

<@Cecilia> Cecilia took a black card and read it: "White people like ______."

<Fabian> "Passable transvestites."

<@Cecilia> "If you say so," snorted Cecilia. "You are friends with a guy who can shapeshift between two genders!"

<David> "I'm going to go with a time-tested favourite. Pictures of boobs."

<Fabian> "And that's how he got my car back, so I like them."

<Pym> "Sarah Palin." Pym said, putting his card down.

<@Cecilia> "...I have to agree with Sarah Palin, no black person would ever vote for her," admitted Cecilia.

<Fabian> "What if Sarah Palin comes out as a man and takes a picture of her boobs?"

<Pym> "Huzzah! That's two!" He reached out to Cee for a high-five.

<@Cecilia> Cecilia raised an eyebrow. "I do not high five being terrible. If I do I really will go to hell!" She laughed.

<Fabian> "I'll give that high-five." Fabian offered, putting his hand up.

<Pym> Pym took it. "H'oh yeah!"

<@Cecilia> "And the day I high-five Sarah Palin is the day I pull the plug," she said, shaking her head.

<David> "Come on, deck. Gimme something good." David pulled a card off the top. "Huh. Why am I sticky?"

<@Cecilia> "...You gotta be kidding me."

<Fabian> Fabian snorted and then cast Cecilia a sideways glance before putting his card down. "The token minority."

<David> "Hey, I'm not the one who chose the game. Don't blame me."

<Fabian> "Don't remind her it's my fault."

<Pym> "Oh man, I got the perfect one for that too." He put his next card down. "The female orgasm." he said proudly.

<@Cecilia> "Hey!" She said, frowing. "Alright just for that..." She placed down. 'My Humps.' "That's right, my humps."

<Pym> "Dumps like a truck!"

<Fabian> "...she's right." Fabian put his hand down and clapped.

<@Cecilia> Cecilia turned beet red. "Jesus Christ...what did I do to deserve this?"

<Fabian> "Being lovely." Fabian patted her back and picked his hand back up.

<David> "I thought you weren't allowed to play things you don't know about? I think that disqualifies Pym, so My Humps wins!"

<@Cecilia> "Suck it," she said to Pym. "Wait...no...shit...!"

<Fabian> "Hahaaaaa." Fabian clapped for her again before getting his card. "What are my parents hiding from me?"

<Pym> Pym frowned. "I ... know about that stuff. Enough about it."

<@Cecilia> "Well, not your parentage that's for certain," snorted Cecilia, a little unsure if that joke was okay.

<Fabian> It was okay and he snorted happily at it. "I'm just imagining Jacinta trying to pass me off as her red-headed biological child."

<Fabian> "I think she'd crack up each time."

<Pym> "I feel like there's an inside-joke here I'm not aware of." He mentioned, eyes darting around.

<@Cecilia> She put down. 'Barack Obama.' "Remember him? God, I miss him. President Kelly's just not the same."

<Fabian> "I'm a bastard." Fabian explaned. "Oh man, if Barack Obama was in my house that'd be awesome."

<Pym> Pym put down "Sexy pillow fights."

<Fabian> "Gaaaaaaaaah!"

<@Cecilia> "Born from an extra-martial affair," corrected Cecilia. "That's outdated. Like calling me 'coloured.'"

<Fabian> "It works on many levels for me though."

<David> "Fewer words to it, too." David plopped down 'Eating all of the cookies before the AIDS bake sale'.

<Fabian> "Okay, Cee has inside knowledge but I have to say my father doing anything with Barack Obama is the funniest."

<Pym> "That's harsh." he said to David. "and yeah, Barack Obama is pretty impressive." he admitted. "My moms were huge fans. Not so big on Kelley."

<@Cecilia> "Don't give me that mental image," said Cecilia, cringing. "I've met your dad."

<@Cecilia> "Moms?" She asked, confused. "Don't you mean mom?"

<Pym> "No. My mothers are in a lesbian relationship. Been married since I was two."

<Fabian> "Very cool." Fabian nodded, passing the deck to Hank. "I wish you had gotten that question and I had your sexy pillow fights card though."

<@Cecilia> "Ohhhh," said Cecilia. "Uh, that's cool, my parents were an interracial relationship. Black and hispanic, though I'm told I don't look interracial..." She shrugged.

<Pym> He groaned. "Lesbians are not any more sexy than any other sexual relationship." He groaned, feeling like it was the millionth time he's had to say that. "Okay, ... card... card... Okay, 'During sex I like to think about...'"

<David> "Yeah, but there's two women instead of one."

<@Cecilia> "Someone else?" Said Cecilia, trying to be funny.

<@Cecilia> She put down her card. 'Genital Piercings.' "Because those are always fun," she deadpanned.

<Pym> Pym rubbed his temples. His mothers would be horrified. He understood the rationale behind it, he was a hormonal boy, sometimes still was.

<Pym> He blinked at the card. "Gosh, I-... I had never thought about them but now they're filling my head. Make it stop!"

<Fabian> "Heeeey. That best not be the case now." Fabian laughed and looked over his cards. "Children on leashes."

<Fabian> "Is that a hint for me to get one? Because I'd do anything for love but I won't do that."

<David> "Here, have The Pope, too. Just a lovely mosaic of all three."

<@Cecilia> "Someone needs to find the creator of this card game and put him away because whoever they are they're one twisted fuck," remarked Cecilia.

<Pym> He half groaned and half chuckled at the three options. "I think Cee wins 'cause right now I'm just imagining all the genitals with all the piercings."

<Fabian> "I like to think Tony Stark made it."

<@Cecilia> "Don't let Hope hear that!" Laughed Cecilia. "She freaked OUT when she thought Jess slept with him!"

<Pym> "... Wait, Jess slept with Tony Stark? The Tony Stark?"

<@Cecilia> "No," said Cecilia. "She almost did, I think. But that's hardly an accomplishment. Tony Stark'll fuck anything with tits and legs."

<Fabian> "...I should have Lukas seduce Tony Stark."

<Pym> Pym was confused. "So she didn't sleep with him. But it's his fault if she had. 'Cause he likes legs and tits?"

<@Cecilia> "I would pay to see Hope's face when she found out!" Laughed Cecilia, having trouble breathing now.

<Pym> "How much? I'll go tell her right now. David, you'd help I'm sure."

<Fabian> "You don't want to know, trust me." Fabian assured him, pulling a face. "Their fight ruined jello wrestling almost."

<David> "As long as I get a cut."

<David> "Wait. Jello wrestling? How was I not aware of this?"

<@Cecilia> "Before your time," said Cecilia.

<Fabian> "Johnny and I filled the pool up with jello and tried to get them to wrestle their differences out. Ended up failing but we had a jello pool party."

<@Cecilia> "Alright. I got 99 Problems but a ________ ain't one," read Cecilia. "Jesus why do I get the ghetto card?"

<Pym> Pym put his card down. "Flying sex snake."

<@Cecilia> "Well I was happy to jump on the jello...and if you'd just saved the stuff for the fight me and Jess had a little later it might've worked out," teased Cecilia.

<David> "Testicular torsion. On account of the lack of proper bits."

<Fabian> Fabian looked as if Christmas, his birthday, an entire summer and sex had just happened all at once. This was the time this card had needed! He needed to do the song as well. "If you having girl problems I feel bad for you son I got 99 problems but a micropenis ain't one!"

<Pym> "Oh... I don't think either of us win, David."

<David> "Well played, good sir. I bow down to your supremacy."

<@Cecilia> "I dunno," snorted Cecilia. "You kept saying shrinkage was a real thing but I dunno...you doth protest too much, mi amor..." she gasped, laughing helplessly. God, what had Fabian done to her?! She was becoming amoral!

<Fabian> "Oh please, the bicycle shorts from Halloween were tight enough you have a pretty good idea what's going on."

<@Cecilia> "You win, Fab. You win! HAHHAAA!" She laughed, falling off the couch and onto the floor, tears streaming down her face. "AAHAHA!"

<Fabian> "You're crazy for this one Rick It's your boy!" Fabian took his victory this round quite happily. "Oh God, I never thought I'd be thankful for Jay-Z."

<Pym> "I'm often thankful for Jay-Z, actually." Pym said pretty confidently.

<David> "Don't know if I can top it, but I'm going to give it the ol' college try." He snagged the deck and drew a card. "Daddy, why is mommy crying?"

<Fabian> "Italians." That left a questionable card in his hand and Fabian wasn't sure it wasn't going to get him in trouble or not. It all depended on how he played it.

<@Cecilia> Cecilia pulled herself up, using the coffee table as leverage. "Hehehe...okay, I think I'm done..." Hmmm. She put down. 'Estrogen.' "What?! It's a real thing!"

<@Cecilia> "Funny, I'd have said 'Spaniards,'" joked Cecilia, smirking.

<Fabian> "Only crying in a good way there."

<@Cecilia> "Oh please," said Cecilia, rolling her eyes.

<David> "Paging Doctor Pym. You spacing out on us?" David tried to draw Hank's attention.

<Pym> "Nope, sorry..." He had spaced out. It was hard not to with all the sex talk.

<Pym> He put down "Auschwitz."

<Fabian> "Oh man."

<@Cecilia> "Dude..." said Cecilia, frowning. "And this reminds me of a bad game of charades I once played..."

<Pym> "Oh my gosh, I didn't even realize the card until I put it down. I am so sorry if anyone here is Jewish."

<Fabian> "You've forgiven me for that, it's best not to speak of it again...but we should absolutely play dirty charades sometime."

<@Cecilia> Cecilia just looked at Pym and laughed, hard. "No, I think you're safe there with me."

<@Cecilia> "One step at a time, Fabian."

<David> "Going with estrogen. Everyone knows women are just a bundle of emotions, hence the crying."

<@Cecilia> "If you even suggest a mood ring..." warned Cecilia, only half-jokingly.

<@Cecilia> Though really Fabian would probably benefit from that. But hell, he was moody too.

<Fabian> "Well, I won't say it isn't an idea." Fabian smirked and put his card down. It was in all capitals so he complied, yelling the card out. "BILLY MAYS HERE FOR ________."

<Pym> "Wait, what? Mood ring?" He fumbled through is own cards. He picked one. "The Boy Scouts of America."

<@Cecilia> "Who the hell is Billy Mays?" Asked Cecilia, putting down. 'Five Dollar Footlongs.'

<Fabian> "Wasn't he that coked up infomercial guy?"

<Pym> "I would kill for a five dollar sub right now."

<David> "Yeah, that sounds like it'd hit the spot right about now." He poked through his last few cards and settled on "Pooping back and forth. Forever."

<@Cecilia> "I'd valk a mile for a camel, dahlink," said Cecilia, putting on a damn good Russian accent. "And gross..."

<Pym> Pym laughed uncontrollably. "What the hell!?"

<Pym> "Pooping back and forth, what?"

<Fabian> "Oh Jesus, I don't want to think about that ever, ever again." Fabian whined and flailed. "Going with the footlongs just because it sounds like exaggerating cheap male prostitutes."

<@Cecilia> "You laugh now but I'm gonna be a doctor and I might have to deal with that shit," said Cecilia, pulling a face. "And hell yes! I am winning!"

<Fabian> "That literal shit."

<@Cecilia> "Wait...how am I WINNING?!" Inconceivable!

<David> "You're winning? What? I forgot to keep track..."

<Fabian> "I don't even care who wins. I had the best moment for a micropenis ever."

<@Cecilia> "Dude, are you spaced out or what?" Said Cecilia. "Keep up..."

<David> "Never thought you'd say that in your life did you, Fabian."

<Fabian> Fabian held up his last card. "Nope, can't say as I did. So, the moment of truth, gentlemen and lady."

<Pym> "You don't win with a micropenis." he pointed out.

<@Cecilia> "It's not the size it's what you do with it," joked Cecilia, patting Fabian. And good God was she actually having fun playing this awful game?! Would wonders never cease?

<David> "That's the most backhanded compliment I've ever heard."

<Pym> "Right?! I've always felt the same thing."

<Fabian> "I've got more than enough real estate and know all sorts of things to do with it." Fabian defended his and his penis' honour, puffing his chest out proudly. "...but if Lukas ever tries to tell you about how I crashed my first car he's speaking lies, damnedable lies."

<@Cecilia> "You should've heard my apology for throwing one of the other students here down the stairs now that was a backhanded apology," she admitted, chuckling a little. "And what's this about the car? Don't tell me you tried to drive and have sex at the same time!"

<Fabian> "The drive part was accidental."

<@Cecilia> "Well now I'm definitely asking him."

<Pym> Pym pulled a black card and read it aloud. "I'm sorry Professor, but I couldn't complete my homework because of _____..." He eyed them all carefully. "Make them good, I may need to use this excuse this semester."

<Fabian> Fabian proudly put down his last card. "Raping and pillaging."

<David> "Well, you've got to work to pull this one off, but it might fly." David turned his last card around. "Being fabulous."

<@Cecilia> Cecilia placed down the card. 'Men.' "And don't you dare say it isn't true, Fabian! You're a terrible distraction."

<@Cecilia> "...What are you Atilla the Hun?" She snorted at Fabian.

<Fabian> "Thatchroofed cottages!" He gave an animated flail. "I may very well be, or Trogdor."

<Pym> He considered them each carefully. "Men is good... but I don't think the professor would appreciate that. David, ... I am fabulous. That's no excuse. Fabian... you take this one."

<Pym> "Raping and pillaging it is."

<Fabian> "You think if I use that on Lehnsherr I'd get an extra bonus?"

<@Cecilia> "Good God...what've I gotten into?" Muttered Cecilia, laughing. "So, I think I have the most cards, guys. And I think since he's teaching the Military History course he might consider it...maybe."

<@Cecilia> "Though be careful who you say that around," she teased, only half-jokingly. "Some people still think you're Satan incarnate."

<Fabian> "I have the best reputation." Fabian admitted, preening somewhat. "Well, it's been fun boys but I think I'm going to have to try and distract this one from her homework."

<Pym> "Alright, good game gang." He said, putting his cards away. "I gotta go call my Ma though, she agreed to send me a cake if I call her. I get no cake if I don't call her. Obviously, I want cake. She's a pro-chef."

<@Cecilia> Cecilia reddened a little. "Well...I won't say no..." There, she was branching out.

<@Cecilia> "Later, guys."

<David> "Wait, which one? Is it the hot one? I'm assuming one of your moms is hot."

<Pym> Pym rolled his eyes as he got up. "No."

<David> "So, the not hot one. Got it."

<Fabian> "You poor bastard." Fabian couldn't help but laugh at poor Pym...but apparently Cecilia wasn't going to be saying no to some distraction so it was time to hurry along. "See you later!"

<@Cecilia> Cecilia laughed and waved as she was pulled out of the room by one hand.

[steyn]

Hilarious!


btw:
<Fabian> "An erection lasting for more than four hours!"
<@Cecilia> Cecilia facepalmed and put down her card. 'Heart Warming Orphans.' "If yours last that long you need to stop taking viagra and go to the ER," she said, redfaced. "That's dangerous."

Poor poor innocent Cee, over 4 hours of erection is not that big of an issue