Current Timeline
<Fabian> Fabian opened the door at the top of the stairs and poked his head in. "Well, it's not as creepy up here as I was hoping but it's fun enough I suppose." He said of the attic, laughing and shrugging as he made his way on in, holding the door for Cecilia.
<@Cecilia> Cecilia had lost most of the zombiesque mannerisms since having a few drinks and although she was a bit more subdued than usual, she was acting a lot more like herself. "And you were hoping to creep me out after a super disturbing mission and an all around shitty few days because...?" She laughed.
<Fabian> "There is such a thing as an enjoyable creepy now." He defended himself, laughing as well. "To tell the truth I was beginning to wonder if we were going to find Xavier's secret wife up here."
<@Cecilia> Cecilia snorted. She'd seen only the film version of Jane Eyre. "Suppose so," she said, wrapping her arms around a mannequin and swaying with it to some unheard music, only to look down at the bust and sigh heavily a second later, pushing it away. "So, you said you've a surprise for me?"
<Fabian> This was especially evil of him but he couldn't help it. "I do indeed. Are you ready for it?"
<@Cecilia> Cecilia looked a bit uneasy. "Should I sit down?" She asked, eyeing him suspciously. She didn't wait for an answer. Knowing Fabian she should probably sit down. She made her way over to an old matress lying on the floor and sat down on the edge. "Alright, go for it."
<@Cecilia> Please God, don't let me die of shock... she prayed in vain.
<Fabian> Fabian promptly unbuttoned his shirt and shared the glorious thunderbird that was the rooster on his chest.
<@Cecilia> Cecilia's eye's went wide. "Is...but...what... why ?!" She exclaimed, mouth gaping like a fish. What the fuck?! A chicken? "That's not..." Shit, was it a tattoo? "Were you DRUNK again?!" She exclaimed.
<@Cecilia> And what kind of shithole tattoo place offered chicken tattoos? "Did you get this in a barn?!" She said, standing up to get a closer look. Holy shit. And then a horrible thought occurred to her. "Who was it this time? Tell me."
<Fabian> "I was 100% sober and Rachel was with me and don't worry, it's fake." He couldn't help but grin though, licking his thumb and wiping a little bit of it off.
<@Cecilia> Cecilia felt extremely dumb. "Oh..." Then she grabbed a nearby cushion and whacked him in the side. "You complete moron!" She half-laughed. "You knew I'd choke at that!"
<@Cecilia> "I thought someone really was playing a prank on you this time! Seriously, a chicken?" Then she thought of another expression and Fabian's tattoo. "Cock AND bull? Really?!" She laughed. "You're a terrible person!" She said, whacking him again with the cushion.
<Fabian> "Can you think of any combination that suits me better?' Fabian laughed as he tried to avoid the assault. "And hey, I think he's pretty damned awesome. It's a work of art."
<Fabian> "Are you saying I shouldn't get him for real?"
<@Cecilia> "NO!" Exclaimed Cecilia. A bit horrified at this idea. "It's a giant chicken! You'll never get laid again. Your partner would die of laughter before anything happened." And shit...that would be her, wouldn't it?
<@Cecilia> Cecilia sat back down on the mattress and frowned. "The trampstamp is bad enough. And if you do get it I'm going to get one that'll piss you off too," she joked.
<Fabian> Fabian was all grins though as he sat down beside her. "Don't worry, there's not going to be any rooster on me permanently. It was just something I couldn't pass up giving a try for the sake of a laugh."
<Fabian> "And my bull is awesome. You know this to be true." He sat up a little bit straighter with pride for his bull. "I'm curious to see what you'd get, though."
<@Cecilia> Cecilia grumbled a bit, but shuffled a little closer to lay her head on his shoulder. "Just like shocking me, hmph. One day I'm gonna get you," she threatened, with no real venom. "Gonna come back with a tattoo of a smoking grim reaper, or Betty Boop..."
<@Cecilia> She thought long and hard. "No! I know what'd piss you off!" She grinned maniacally. "I'll get a tattoo of My Little Pony ."
<Fabian> "...that would be dreadful...and you absolutely wouldn't do that to yourself. You'd have to see that every day."
<@Cecilia> Cecilia raised an eyebrow. "Not if I got it done on my back...or my ass." She gave him an epic trollface. "Then I don't have to look at it. But you'll know it's there. And you'll be maaadddd." She laughed.
<Fabian> "...at least you wouldn't be able to sit properly for a while if it's on your ass." Fabian couldn't help but snort. "You know I wouldn't actually get this now, so we can have a tattoo ceasefire?"
<@Cecilia> "The curvature of said ass makes it so that if you get a tattoo at the top it doesn't hurt that much-" Cecilia began. "Y'know what? Let's change the subject."
<@Cecilia> She reached into her jacket pocket and pulled out a small bottle of rum. "Or get me drunker. Either way," she took a sip and passed it on. "Cheers, mi heroe."
<Fabian> "You're touting rum in your jacket? Be careful or you're going to be stuck talking to that substance abuse counselor that sort of looks like Ke$ha."
<@Cecilia> "Oh please," she snorted. "I don't drink alone, I don't do it when I've got class and I've only been hungover a little bit at worst. There is such a thing as moderation. I just picked this up after the mission because...well, I dunno why. I thought of drinking it. But I figured it'd be best to do it later with company."
<@Cecilia> "I was a bit depressed," she admitted.
<Fabian> "Well, luckily I do count as company." Fabian admitted. "You want to talk about the whole mission incident, though?"
<@Cecilia> Cecilia grinned a bit unnervingly. "Why is it whenever I ask you if you wanna talk about something you always deflect or redirect? But whenever you ask I always tell you?" She crossed her arms. Yes, she could redirect and deflect too. "It's uneven."
<@Cecilia> That and she was still a little sore over the lie of omission regarding Rachel. But hey, she wasn't a perfect person.
<Fabian> "Because you usually do want to talk about it." Fabian pointed out. "I usually don't. You don't need to deflect though, I don't have to know right now."
<@Cecilia> "Well, thanks Fabian, now I feel like a needy chick," Cecilia grumbled, taking a long swig of the rum. "I usually don't talk to anyone else about things either. It's really only you that I give the uncensored version of my thoughts."
<Fabian> "What? You're more open than I am, how is that a bad thing?" He frowned at the grumbling. "And I wouldn't think that you talked about most things with just anyone."
<@Cecilia> Cecilia shrugged. "It's not bad. I just...don't like to feel like I'm burdening you. There's a reason why I don't tell my family the entire truth of what I do here," she admitted.
<@Cecilia> She knew it was a losing battle anyways. She was going to talk about it. "That whole Circle Pines mission, where do I even begin? The whole place sends me into a frothy rage and then Eddie was there, which made my PTSD even worse..."
<@Cecilia> "Then Sue and I had some differences over some crucial 'X-Men values' and that bugged me..." She took another swig. "And of course, the bodies. With bullet wounds in them, so that was another trigger I didn't need. Getting a gun pulled on me, ANOTHER trigger. And the whole questioning with Clarke..."
<Fabian> "Yeah, that much people know or they should know." Fabian nodded. It was all understandable, after all, and by now everyone knew that she had these issues to work through.
<Fabian> "It's just...something that's going to happen, isn't it?"
<@Cecilia> "What having the same situation replayed and replayed?" She asked. "I'm starting to think so. It's not something that sends me into a massive flashback...But there are things that bother me, make me jumpy. Having guns pointed at me; bullet wounds, particularly chest wounds; having friends harmed while I watch; returning to places where I've been injured..."
<@Cecilia> "All of that isn't really helpful," she shrugged, taking another swig. "But what do I do? Stop going on missions? Never become a surgeon because I'll have to deal with bullet wounds? No, not options." She shook her head.
<Fabian> "Yeah, so you've all ready accepted that it's going to be something you have to face, we just have to figure out ways to actually help you face it as best as you can, hmm?" He asked, looking over to her.
<@Cecilia> Cecilia nodded, toying with the rum bottle a moment. Debating on whether or not she should say something...Maybe? Maybe telling someone about it would help. What did she have to lose anyways?
<@Cecilia> "My father died for a very stupid reason," she said, lying back on her elbows and taking another swig of rum. "He died because he wouldn't give up his wedding ring to a mugger. He gave everything else to the guy. But that? He refused. He fought with the guy and that was the biggest mistake he could've ever made."
<@Cecilia> "He was shot in the chest in the struggle. The bullet clipped the arch of his aorta. I'm sure you know what that means," she said flatly. "He didn't die right away. That only happens in movies. It took a few minutes."
<@Cecilia> "I don't know if the guy meant to do it or not. They never caught him so I may never know. But he sure as hell did point the gun on me on purpose." She tapped her forehead. "Placed the barrel right here."
<@Cecilia> "Obviously he didn't do it. Maybe he had a change of heart or couldn't kill a kid even though it meant leaving a witness, I dunno. I'll ask if I ever see him again. He left us there and I stayed until my father died."
<@Cecilia> "So there..." she said, polishing off the rum. "I said it."
<Fabian> There wasn't anything ot say to that so Fabian didn't bother to attempt to string some ridiculous platitude together for the situation. Instead he gave her a moment to let the moment sink in before looking over to her. "How does it feel to have said it now?"
<@Cecilia> "...Strange," she admitted. "Somewhat cathartic, but also somewhat not. It's hard to explain," she shrugged and looked at Fabian. "I've never told another person that. Not my family, not any friends, not anyone. Not even Guan knows about it in that amount of detail."
<@Cecilia> She was quiet for a moment. "I might regret saying it later..." she remarked, looking at the empty booze bottle. "Thanks...for not saying you're sorry."
<Fabian> "I earn enough to apologize for without saying for things that would be better if I didn't." Fabian smirked a bit, leaning against her. "Of course, eventually you probably should tell Guan. It's just one more thing that will help her help you."
<@Cecilia> "Hmph," said Cecilia. "I have a cap on how many heart to hearts I have a week. And I had a small one with Hope this past one. Awkward."
<@Cecilia> "Anyways, now you know what exactly my crazy is made of," she snorted. "Why I hate guns. Why I freak out at people that threaten those close to me. Why my interpretation of our motto is 'X-Men Don't Kill...unless we have to.'" She snorted. "There is such a thing as self defense."
<Fabian> "She's not near as bad as she pretends to be." Fabian laughed at the idea of imagining that with Hope, though. "I managed to be friends with her anyway. But that's what that eventually is there for. You'll get around to it."
<Fabian> "And...the whole 'unless we have to' is all well and good...but you realize that would have been me if more people thought like that, right?"
<Fabian> "I'd also suggest not saying that if you want to stay on, too. That's sort of been a touchy point for some people."
<@Cecilia> "No, she's worse," she joked. But her face fell when he mentioned 'it would've been me.' "Not exactly no. Were you actually threatening their lives? Trying to kill them?" She asked a bit incredulously. "Funnily enough though, I did think of you when we questioned Clarke. Which is why the whole thing rattled me a bit..."
<Fabian> "Me and Lukas coming here was pretty much supposed to be a punishment suicide run. We weren't meant to succeed in getting Malice back and I'm glad we didn't." He laid back against the mattress, thinking about it.
<Fabian> "Just because I didn't aim to kill anyone that day doesn't mean I wasn't a threat to more. People are dead because of plans I made, ways I trained the Horsemen and with X-Force the unless we have to was what that was about. I might not have threatened them directly but I was working with people who had and would continue to."
<Fabian> "And in some light it's a damned good idea to have done that but I don't think you can argue it was the best idea."
<@Cecilia> Cecilia shook her head. "I wouldn't kill unless my life or another person's life was in immediate danger and only if there was no other choice. Clarke tried to kill me, his employers would've killed me, but I didn't kill him. Working for the enemy that might harm me isn't enough for me to do it. But that's my personal opinion."
<@Cecilia> "If I had been in X-Force...I wouldn't have set out to kill. Just to stop, but I guess that's how it started out, huh?" She rolled onto her side and wrapped an arm around Fabian. "What did you and Lukas even do to piss off Nur so bad he wanted you both dead?"
<Fabian> "And basically all of your hand to hand training is how to take someone down with as little force as possible. I'm just telling you that people have their justification for it but it doesn't make it a good idea and you don't have to figure that out the way I did or the way Bobby or Rachel did."
<Fabian> He shook his head. "The X-men wanted it to stop and X-Force did too but they did set out to kill the Marauders. It's all in the justification and that's not the best thing because I could still justify working with Nur as well."
<Fabian> "He sent us because we failed him. The Famine attack did the damage that was expected but since he was recovered it was apparent he wasn't as prepared as he should have been."
<@Cecilia> "Asshole," muttered Cecilia. "Apocalypse, I mean." She thought a moment. "Y'know. Don't ever tell anyone else this...but if I had been offered...I might've joined up with Nur or the Brotherhood or whatever at some point in my life."
<@Cecilia> "There was a time when I was angry enough, hell maybe I am still angry enough in some ways, to lash out at everything. If the right group came along or if I had a friend in some cause...I can't say I'd have turned down the offer."
<@Cecilia> "The fucknuts that run those groups know that too," she remarked. "They know we're angry and have no outlets and they use that to their advantage."
<Fabian> "That goes for a lot of things." Fabian admitted, giving a shrug. "But it's no matter now, hmm? We're both pretty well settled here."
<@Cecilia> Cecilia gave him a squeeze. "Yep. I'm not going anywhere, no worries there. And I assume you're not either, unless I'm missing something?" She said wryly, raising an eyebrow.
<Fabian> "No, no place I want to be. I'd miss far too much here and we've got a list to get through."
<@Cecilia> Cecilia smiled and gave him another squeeze. She liked to think one of the things missed would be her. "Speaking of our list, how do you feel about crossing off #3 in the near future?"
<Fabian> "Slightly alarmed, what are we auditioning for."
<@Cecilia> Cecilia laughed. "Equus," she smirked, trolling.
<Fabian> "...I can do that." He considered it for a while. "I thought you wanted to do a musical though."
<@Cecilia> "You can?!" She said, a bit surprised that didn't work. Weird..."Well, I was just teasing. Howlett's holding auditions sometime. He wasn't specific on what it was. But it's a musical."
<@Cecilia> "...It occurs to me I'm not the most spectacular singer...we might want to practice something..."
<Fabian> "Pshaw, the point is not to be good, the point is to go and do it. It'll be fun! We'll have to learn something for when we have the one he's doing, though."
<@Cecilia> "For sure, never seen a play at all. Let alone a musical," she remarked. "I'll have to see if I'm a person who likes them or not. I hear there's not much in-between on that front."
<Fabian> Fabian considered that and sat up. "Shall we?"
<@Cecilia> Cecilia nodded and sat up. "To the records!" She said, raising a fist.