11/18 Instance: On The Couch Anyway

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Ferguson
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11/18 Instance: On The Couch Anyway

Post by Ferguson »

Timelined the same day as but after [Instance]Anger Mismanagement.


<DrSummers> Scott hummed to himself as he walked down to the med lab. He decided to take a detour to see if he'd left a book in the rec room. He didn't remember hating studying so much. But then, he'd read up on amnesia - sometimes, a person's personality was changed.

<@Jessica> Jess wandered around the school in search of someone who was friends with her to maybe spend an hour or so having a nice day. She spied Scott and wasn't sure he counted anymore... she should fix that. "Hey... Scott?"

<DrSummers> Scott turned at the voice. "Jessica. Hi." He waited, unsure of what to say. They hadn't parted on the friendliest of terms. She does look miserable, though.

<@Jessica> "Um... can we... can we talk?" She chewed her lip, shifting awkwardly.

<DrSummers> "Okay. Shoot." He crossed his arms after gesturing her to the couch.

<@Jessica> She went and sat down, twisting her fingers in her lap. "I... I want to apologise... for what I said before... I was overly harsh and I upset you... I didn't mean to..."

<DrSummers> He blinked. He hadn't been expecting that. "It's okay. You were hurt and confused. I'm glad you've had time to mull it over." Mull it over? Really, Scott? "How are you feeling now?"

<@Jessica> She gave a shrug, "Pretty crappy.... I, um... I spoke to Rogue and... the way she was talking... when you asked me if we could still talk... you didn't really remember anyone else. I didn't realise... and I've been feeling pretty guilty for being so hard on you... but I was trying to protect myself..."

<DrSummers> Scott struggled to piece together the rather disjointed flow of words. "I understand. Believe me, I do. I'm glad you worked it through, though. Things can only get better."

<@Jessica> "I hope so... I really need it to get better..." she scrubbed her face with her hands and sighed. "How're you getting along now? Have you remembered anything?"

<DrSummers> "Most of it, yeah. There's still some gaps and disjoints that don't quite fit, and then sometimes my timeline is messed up. It helped to have people explain and show me things. You? How goes your memory?"

<@Jessica> "I remember pretty much everything now... there's still some gaps... I kind of wish I didn't remember though... Not really had a good life... I liked Circle Pines better..."

<DrSummers> "I'm sorry to hear that Jess...ica. I miss not having my powers. I just wish I could figure out how they did it."

<@Jessica> "Oh please don't call me Jessica... it makes me feel like I'm in trouble...." she sighed, "I kind of miss it too... I'm kind of wondering why I didn't volunteer..."

<DrSummers> "Well, what else should I call you? 'Miss Drew' sounds too stilted, and I feel a little uncomfortable calling you Jess as you're my student again." He shifted on his feet. "Sort of. Anyway...maybe you did volunteer and you've forgotten? Maybe you should talk to Dai about it. She's been really helpful in collecting my memories."

<@Jessica> She shook her head, "Please just call me Jess... everyone else does." She ran a hand through her hair, "And no... I remember being taken... I don't need to talk to Dai... and I don't want to..."

<DrSummers> Scott shrugged. "All right. So...you're not doing well, then?"

<@Jessica> "Not really... I keep messing up..." She sighed heavily, "I had the joy of group anger management therapy earlier... which didn't go well. And I knew it wasn't going to go well given that it consisted of me and the two people that keep making me lose my temper. They both got patted on the back for making progress and I am probably in more trouble than I was to start with."

<DrSummers> "Ah." Scott bit his lip, not knowing what to say. "Does it have to do with me finding you unconscious? Did that get mentioned?"

<@Jessica> "It did. She's still not sorry for doing that to me. Pretty much said I deserved it.... and it has to do with my fight with Cecilia..."

<DrSummers> "She has problems, too. Maybe in the future, she'll feel sorry."

<@Jessica> She shook her head, "No... she won't... her and Cecilia are best friends now so why would they bother being sorry for being hard on me?"

<DrSummers> "People change as they grow older and wiser. Even you, I warrant."

<@Jessica> "I'm not really given the chance to change... I came back here and everyone was telling me that I get to be different now - a fresh start... but I haven't had the chance to do any of that without people judging me on my past mistakes and making accusations... it's so frustrating... and I tried to say that earlier and then Cecilia started shouting and it all went to hell..."

<DrSummers> "Maybe you can bring up your feelings and thoughts about that in your next group therapy session? Just don't expect everyone else to suddenly think that way too - they all have to come to that knowledge on their own."

<@Jessica> "Ooooooh no. We're not having another one. We're having individual sessions. With Darren." She scowled.

<DrSummers> "I see. Well, bring it up to him, then?"

<@Jessica> "And what will that achieve? It's not going to do any good. The problem's all mine apparently and I'm supposed to just suck it up when they're bitches to me for no reason."

<DrSummers> Scott sighed. "That's where you're wrong. It will do good - you can learn to deal with it better, and just ignore them." He was so going to put up a sign on his office door that he was NOT a shrink.

<@Jessica> "I shouldn't have to put up with it. I hadn't done anything wrong when they started in on me but it's just... it's constant aggravation. There's only so much of that I can take... Hope was even drinking in the session which is not even an option for me. I'm immune, did you know that? Immune to all drugs, poisons and toxins. I can't even drink coffee to stay up late or take a sleeping pill when I can't get any peace to rest."

<DrSummers> Scott put up both his hands. "Ok, I get that you're hurting, but I'm definitely not the one to talk to about fixing the problems. You need to talk to a trained professional. They obviously have problems too, and it's up to them to understand that they have them and want to fix them. Same goes for you. Continually bitching about it isn't going to help unless you change your patterns of behaviour. Other people will pick up on it, and change theirs as well."

<DrSummers> He blinked. Where had that come from? Scott chalked it up to some forgotten medical thing he'd forgotten.

<@Jessica> "I tried that but it didn't last more than an hour or so before the judging started so I can't really see the point..." she huffed. "I have a job interview on Tuesday so I'm trying to focus on that... and not on my birthday on Monday."

<DrSummers> "Who judged you? A real psychiatrist won't do that, you know."

<@Jessica> "But I won't have problems with a real one. What I have problems with is people that don't give me a chance to sort my shit out because they focus on all the things I did before I was abducted and brainwashed. It's like they want me to fail. They haven't stopped to think that maybe I'm a different person now and that I'd actually like some time to process everything." She slumped forwards and put her face in her hands.

<DrSummers> He blinked. How did anyone not understand how the world worked? "Of course they want you to fail. It means despite their faults and problems, they win. And if you won't have problems with a real one, why not go? It'll help. And honestly, I wouldn't give the people hurting you the time of day. Flat out ignore them. Don't go where they are, and find your own private space."

<@Jessica> "I don't want to talk to a psychologist!" She pulled on her hair a little, "I wish everyone would stop telling me to do that. I hate hearing it. I'm not crazy."

<DrSummers> Scott crossed his arms. "Neither am I, but I sure as hell talk to one." He glared at her but took a calming breath so he wouldn't snap at her with his next words. "I find it easier to bounce my thoughts off someone else who is impartial and who will help me look at things from a different perspective."

<DrSummers> "You have a problem, Jessica and it's not other people not giving you time to be a new person. It's yourself. You have to change first, so people can see that you're different. From what you've told me, you've just fallen back into doing what you did before, and everyone is helping you dig that hole deeper. Sort your priorities - help yourself or give in."

<DrSummers> How on earth could she be so completely different than the person at the commune? It's frightening. "This person you're acting like right now isn't the person I remember from the commune," he said giving voice to his thoughts. "She was confident and sure of herself. Right now, you're a pathetic seething mass of self-pity and pent-up rage. And you wonder why people aren't treating you differently? This is why."

<@Jessica> She shook her head, "I'm not the person I was before either. Before all that I was confident too... but I... I had sex with people for money and a lot of the animosity I'm getting is because of that... Hope has it in her head that I'm too close to all the guys I know... that I hang all over them and that I'm trying to get them into bed too and it's not true."

<@Jessica> "I don't know if I did that before because I can't remember but it's not fair to treat me like this now... because that's not what I'm doing... And it's no wonder I'm not confident and sure of myself when I have all of this going on, on top of the fact I have no family, no relationship and no job."

<DrSummers> Scott wanted to pull his hair now. "That's it. Right there. Oh poor me, I have no family, no relationship, no job, so everyone hates me. You can fix those problems, you know that right? Go find someone you like, and start dating. Go find a job. Create a family with your friends. Change your outlook on life, and people will respond to that and treat you differently. It's a hard road and nothing changes overnight."

<DrSummers> Screw studying, I'm going to see if Dai's available. My head hurts now.

<@Jessica> "I know.... I know... and I hate doing this... I feel like it's all I'm doing but I'm just... I'm stuck in a rut and I can't get out of it... I just have to make it to Tuesday in one piece... so I think on Monday I might just lock myself in a cupboard with a book and not come out until it's time for my interview..." It wasn't like she had anything planned for her birthday after all.

<DrSummers> Scott sighed again. Locking yourself away is not the way to go about changing... "Can I share something with you, Jess?" he asked gently and sat down on the sofa next to her.

<@Jessica> "Sure... go ahead..." She sat up a little and looked at him.

<DrSummers> "When I came here, I was a lot like you. A secret past, and a power that I couldn't control and hated. I took it out on myself and other people. However, I slowly got better. It took my all my years here to grow up and realize that I wasn't the only person in the world who mattered. But in a few dark spots, I tried to kill myself. I drank a bottle of vodka with bottle of Vicodin." He took a breath.

<DrSummers> "And it wasn't my first attempt, it was the one that got me to realize that I was only hurting myself and others thinking I was worthless and horrible. So I changed myself. I still fight every day with the fact my powers will never be cured, and sometimes, I have doubts about who and what I am, but at the end of the day, I'm who I am, and I can only change my views on the life I lead. If I don't like it, I change to where I do."

<@Jessica> Jess sighed and leaned against him. She wasn't sure if she was allowed to hug him even though she wanted to. "I don't know where to start..."

<DrSummers> "Just breathe." He gave her a hug. "Start right here, right now. Take a small step. Think about what you want out of life, and set one goal towards that. You want a family? That might take more work than say, the job or a relationship. If you like someone, go say so. See where that takes you. Or prepare a killer interview outfit. Do something small, and go from there."

<DrSummers> "Keep setting small goals, and realize there will be setbacks. But then, readjust your goals and keep going. Okay?"

<@Jessica> She wrapped her arms around him to return the hug and nodded. "I miss my parents..." she sniffed, "No amount of work will get them back.... getting a job seems the easiest step right now... I just need to hold on til Tuesday... I went shopping with Jean and bought something to wear. If I can just get this I'll at least feel like I'm taking a step in the right direction..."

<@Jessica> "And I do like someone... I just... I remember liking him from before but I feel like it's too soon... and I don't know if he'll be receptive to the idea.... It's complicated..."

<DrSummers> "See? A job is a positive thing. And if you don't get it, try again. As to the boy - talk to him, and see what he thinks, and then both of you can decide where to go from there." He held her out at arm's length. "Feel any better?"

<@Jessica> "A little bit.... hugs help.... thanks..." she gave him a small smile. "I'm sorry for being so pathetic all over you... I don't want to get you in trouble or anything..."

<DrSummers> "Why would I be in trouble?" He stood up, feeling drained. He wondered if he should bring Dai something to eat.

<@Jessica> She shook her head, "Never mind... it's just something Hope said..." she pushed herself up to her feet, "I'll just... go back to the boathouse now... thanks for the chat... I appreciate it..."

<DrSummers> "No problem. Good luck on your interview." He smiled.

<@Jessica> "Thanks..." she managed another smile, "So... are we good?" She needed to check in case she'd some how fucked up again and not noticed.

<DrSummers> "Of course. I better find my book. Hey you haven't seen a thin little workbook? It's about the muscles in the body."

<@Jessica> "Um... no... but I can help you look if you want? I don't mind..."

<DrSummers> "That'd be great. It's greenish white with grey. It's really thin. I left it in the rec room or maybe the library or uh...the medlab? It's not in my room."

<@Jessica> She laughed a little, "We better get on searching then.... at least looking under the furniture will be easier with me around." She gave him a smile and moved to start looking for it.
Ult_Sm86
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Re: 11/18 Instance: On The Couch Anyway

Post by Ult_Sm86 »

How this whole Jess/Scott Summers thing has left me feeling:

Image

Image

Yet... I still worry...
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JSherlock
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Re: 11/18 Instance: On The Couch Anyway

Post by JSherlock »

Scott is with Angel. End of.
Slarti
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Re: 11/18 Instance: On The Couch Anyway

Post by Slarti »

Hehehehe, poor Scotty.

And si, Angel says if you doubt that, she will melt your face. :evil
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