Timelined right after [Instance]The Ex Strikes Back and [Instance]Auntie Amnesia. Before the game.
<@Jessica> Jess tried to keep her sobs quiet so she didn't draw attention to herself or ruin whatever happy reunion Scott was having right now. She knew she should leave and go back downstairs but she couldn't bring herself to get up.
<Bobby> As if his conversation with Paige hadn't been depressing enough, now he heard crying. Jesus fuck, Bobby told himself, then rounded the corner and saw Jess. He stopped short. "You... are obviously not okay," he changed course in the middle of his sentence.
<@Jessica> Jess sucked in a breath in surprise, wiping her eyes with her palm as she turned to see who it was. "Oh... hey..." she sniffed, "I'm fine..."
<Bobby> "Yeah, you're great," he snorted, crouching down next to her. "I can tell." Bobby looked around, realizing they were by Scott's door. Really? But, he had been in the camp of forgetfulness too.
<@Jessica> She looked away, huffing, "Alright fine... I'm not okay..." she ran her hands through her hair.
<Bobby> "Come on." He straightened up, holding out a hand for her. "Let's go get your tea, or hot chocolate, or booze. Anything away from here, yeah?"
<@Jessica> She nodded, taking the offered hand and getting to her feet. The feeling of wanting to go back to Circle Pines and forget coming back even stronger. "Can't seem to catch a break..."
<Bobby> "Oh, I know that feeling," he said, not quite chuckling, and pulled her close by her hand, slinging an arm around her shoulders as they started down the hall.
<@Jessica> Jess wrapped her arms around his waist, all but clinging to him as they walked. "I should have known better..." she sniffled again.
<Bobby> "Known better about... Scott?" He closed one eye, guessing.
<@Jessica> She nodded, having to stop walking again as she hid her face in her hands, choking on another sob. "Of course he was seeing someone... why would I ever get something nice...?"
<Bobby> Bobby sighed internally and slid his arms around her. "Jess, babe, that kind of attitude isn't gonna help."
<@Jessica> "I tried being hopeful and all it did was hurt so what the hell's the point?" she cried into his shoulder.
<Bobby> "I'm sorry, babe," Bobby said, holding her. "Life's a bitch sometimes. It's a cliche, but that just means it's fuckin' true." He stroked her hair.
<@Jessica> She heaved a shuddering sigh, trying to get a hold of herself. "I want to go back..."
<Bobby> "That's not really an option," he said, pulling her closer. The shivering was really unsettling. "Even if it was, it's not real."
<@Jessica> "I don't care! It was better than this!" she pressed her face into his shoulder to stifle another sob.
<Bobby> "No, it's not, not if it's a lie." His voice was soft as he rubbed her back, closing his own eyes.
<@Jessica> "At least the lie was a happy one..." she countered, "At least there I had a family... and a job that was decent and good... and hope... and a past that wasn't full of loss and loneliness..."
<Bobby> "I'm sorry." It was just like Paige, only worse, because she was right. Her life had sucked. Still trying to comfort her, he decided hanging around in the hallway was stupid and just scooped her up to carry her to the kitchen.
<@Jessica> Jess let him carry her because she didn't have any fight left in her and just cried with her head still resting against his shoulder. "I don't know why I didn't want the cure..."
<Bobby> "So they took you," he said, slowing at the bottom of the stairs. "I figured. I don't know that the cure really helps anything, babe. Trask gave you a life that was totally fake, and not fair in any way. Those people who you thought were your parents? They were paid to pretend to love you. Paige had kids and a husband, and it was all fake."
<Bobby> "That dude signed up to fuck her, but those kids..." Bobby sighed and kept walking for the kitchen. "There's nothing right about what Trask did. Not for anybody."
<@Jessica> "Bobby... I know it sounds insane but I don't care... anything has to be better than this... lies or not I had a stable home with a normal upbringing for a while and, God.... it was just... and now... now I don't know how I'm even still sane never mind alive..."
<Bobby> "I... get it. I think. But, it isn't better." He set her down by the kitchen table and gave her a kiss on the top of her head.
<@Jessica> "How can you say that it isn't better when you know more than anyone about me?" she looked up at him.
<Bobby> "Fake's not better, no matter what, babe." Bobby filled up the kettle and put it on for her.
<@Jessica> "Oh yeah because the truth is so fantastic..." she sniffed again and looked away, "The only nice things I remember so far only remind me just how alone I actually felt... and knowing that's not going to get better.... it hurts..."
<Bobby> "Jess, you don't know things won't get better." Bobby went back to her, sitting on the table and putting an arm around her. "I've been bad, and thought it was the end of the line, and things do get better. You were one of the people who helped me to move forward. Yeah, it does hurt. I'm sorry."
<@Jessica> She leaned against him again, "How is it supposed to get better? I have nothing, Bobby..."
<Bobby> "I really wish I could kick this fucking Trask's flabby old ass," he sighed, holding onto her. "He fucked you guys up so much."
<@Jessica> "I didn't need his help to get like this..." she pointed out, "Believe me..."
<Bobby> "I'll admit you've had a shitty life in a lot of ways." Bobby kissed her temple this time, stroking her hair. Why she had dyed her hair back to black he had no idea.
<@Jessica> "I don't know what to do... I can't see a way out of this... I see all these people who are supposed to be friends and they tell me these things but... I'm starting to realise I wasn't the same person with any of them.... and some of them I think I might have just used... I hate the person I was and pity her all at the same time and I can't do anything to stop me falling right back into all of that..."
<Bobby> Bobby paused to process that. "I'd think just realising that would be enough to change it, babe." Well, who was she with him then? He felt sad for her, mostly, and so he held her again. Dammit, Scott.
<@Jessica> "But what's the point? I wouldn't even know how to change... or why... I have... I have nothing to look forward to... no plans for a better future, no family to try and make proud of me... I'm at a dead-end and I just want to give up..."
<Bobby> "There's not really anything I can tell you that will just make things better, Jess. Shit looks bleak, but why give up when it would just prove people who think we're nothing as right?"
<@Jessica> "I am nothing..." she couldn't stop the words coming out of her mouth. She'd thought it many times in her past.
<Bobby> "That's not true." Bobby pulled her close. "You're a good friend, and you care about people. You've cared about me when I was nothing, and I care about you."
<@Jessica> "What if I'm not a good friend? What if I don't care? What if you only care because I made you care?" She looked up at him again, "What if everything I was was a lie?"
<Bobby> "Well, was it?" Bobby had no problems meeting her eyes and holding her gaze. Green eyes. Why were all the women in his life green eyed? Not Paige. They were almost nose to nose.
<@Jessica> "I don't know. I can't really have been all those people..." she bit her lip, looking away and withdrawing from him, suddenly feeling uncomfortable.
<Bobby> He cocked his head at her retreat. "Babe, we're all different things in different situations and it doesn't mean anything other than that we're more normal than we tend to think we are."
<@Jessica> "So why don't I feel like I was ever really myself? I don't know who I was... It's like I'm trying to put together a puzzle and none of the pieces match... It's no wonder I'm struggling..." She went to take the kettle off the stove as the whistling started up.
<Bobby> Bobby watched her. "Because you've just been seriously mind fucked for weeks? It's not the time for any major decisions, or anything rash." His mouth quirked sideways.
<@Jessica> "I haven't made any decisions... unless you count the decision to go and see Scott today which was apparently stupid..." She didn't attempt to make any tea because she wasn't sure she wanted it, instead running her hands through her hair and leaning back against the counter.
<Bobby> Standing up, he went over to her. "Scott's stupid, and so are his glasses." Bobby wrinkled his nose and made a face. "You want any tea? We've also got hot chocolate... I think there's some herbal shit around in that cabinet, too." He nodded at a corner of the kitchen.
<@Jessica> "He's not stupid..." she shook her head, "I don't feel like having anything..." She covered her face with her hands and bowed her head, "I need to figure this out... but I don't know how..."
<Bobby> "It was mostly a joke. I'm trying to lighten the mood. It's what I do." Bobby bowed his head against hers and rubbed her arms. "Honestly, I'd suggest taking your time with it. See if you can take a nap, wait a couple days, more would probably be better, really. Remember that mind fuck thing."
<@Jessica> She lowered her hands from her face, resting them on his chest instead. "I can't sleep... I hear... things... everything... things I shouldn't hear..."
<Bobby> "I'm sorry." His hands traveled to her wrists, then he held her hands. "Super hearing fail, huh?"
<@Jessica> She nodded, as much as she could with his forehead resting against hers, looking at her hands in his. "My powers suck... how did I live? Why in the hell wouldn't I have volunteered for that cure?"
<Bobby> "Because you're readjusting." Bobby nodded in sync with her. "Still say you just need to give it time."
<@Jessica> "I'm going to be a zombie before I've finished readjusting if I don't sleep..." She sighed, closing her eyes and trying in vain to block out the sounds of the mansion.
<Bobby> "How long has it been since you've slept?"
<@Jessica> "I don't know... a couple of days... I think... they all kind of merge into one after a while... I was having trouble sleeping for a while in Circle Pines too... but for other reasons..." She sighed, opening her eyes again.
<Bobby> "Well, that's not good." He leaned back to look at her, making a decision. "Hey, why don't you stay with us in the boathouse for a while. It's just me and Lorna, and we can be pretty quiet." And stable, he thought. "Give you a chance to catch up on sleep and things might not look so dire?"
<@Jessica> She shook her head, "I think you should run that by her first..." And there was that uncomfortable feeling again. She extracted her hands from his, slowly and carefully lowering them and resting them on the counter behind her. She couldn't escape this time though.
<Bobby> "Well, yeah, but I bet she'd like to help." Bobby gave her a smile. Poor fucked up girl, he thought.
<@Jessica> "Helping is one thing... letting me invade your home is something else altogether..." She tilted her head, studying his face. "I don't want to get in the way..."
<Bobby> "Jess, I'm not saying I want to move you in and sleep at the foot of your bed like a cocker spaniel." Bobby smirked, matching her head tilt. "I want to give you a chance to get some equilibrium. That sound so bad?"
<@Jessica> She thought about it, looking away briefly, "No... I guess not... I just... I don't want to make things difficult for you... either of you... And, well... everyone else...."
<Bobby> "I appreciate that, but let me worry about that." He tapped a finger on the tip of her nose, then moved away to look for that hot chocolate. Dammit, now it sounded good. "Deal, spider chica?" Bobby flashed a grin over his shoulder at her.
<@Jessica> She wrinkled her nose at the tap, "I suppose I can live with that...." she straightened up, "Was I this afraid all the time before?"
<Bobby> "Well, this suspicious, I guess." Bobby made a noise of triumph and held up a couple of packets. "The real question is if you can live without chocolate. Last call."
<@Jessica> She laughed a little, wrapping her arms around him for a hug, "Okay I'll have hot chocolate... who knows, maybe it'll make me sleepy enough to just pass out..."
<Bobby> "Chocolate coma," he laughed. "It's the only way to go."