[Timeline: Before Sgt Hotpants game plz]
<@Adam> Adam hadn't wanted to leave the comforting warmth of the other, feeling raw and twitching, not sure if he wanted to run, hide or lash out. Instead, he found himself following Jolen, arms wrapped around himself, eyes on the floor, as the other took him out to calm him down.
<Jolen> Jolen kept looking back at his new found friend, worried for the mood drop as Adam had explained little bits to him the other day. He wanted to get him away from everyone and the crowding, putting a gentle hand on the guys back he lead him out and towards the forest.
<@Adam> The guy got a quick look for the touch, paranoid, nearly flinching away before he realised Jolen was being nice. He took a deep breath. Someone was looking after him, actually willing to be around him after the plummet and not just...look at him like he was wrong, like the others had. "S-sorry about this..."
<Jolen> "It is ok Adam, you need alittle space and someone to look after you, you took the time to teach me vhen no one else vould so now I'm helping you ya?" heading for the nearest bit of wood away from the school, breath bringing the smell of trees and damp leaves to them.
<@Adam> Adam nodded, steps quickening until they got under the trees. Then he stopped, leant against the nearest trunk and breathed out, pinching the bridge of his nose. "God, I wish this would stop..." He took a deep breath. "At least I'm not hallucinating this time, though. I think...you are real, right?"
<Jolen> "I'm pretty sure I'm real Adam, you hallucinate? that is when you see things right? Things that aren't really there richt?" he didn't want to crowd him but he hated just standing away from him like this wondering what was wrong.
<@Adam> Adam nodded. "They can be...really bad." He took a deep breath, before shaking his head. "I've seen and done some pretty bad stuff. It's broken me a bit."
<Jolen> Carefully he took a step forward towards the lad smiling. "No bad things right now, just us though so you can relax and not think about them ya?"
<@Adam> "H-hard not to think about it, Jolen, they...they're with me all the time...they're the reason everyone else thinks I'm batshit." Adam laughed a little shakily, before he hiccupped and ended up in the roots of the tree, knees pulled up to his chin and arms wrapped around them. Damnit, he didn't want anyone to see him like this, but he couldn't brink himself to snap at Jolen.
<Jolen> Coming forward he knelt in front of the lad. "I do not, I do not think you *bat shit* I think you are a nice person." He paused for a moment then before deciding he needed to help Adam properly. "I have seen bad things to, I know they do not leave you especially when you sleep."
<@Adam> Adam looked up at him then, blue eyes wide as he looked at the other guy. "I...try not to sleep. I know I should, but sleeping just makes it worse, really...I don't want to see it like that, when I can't control it, and when I might hurt people and lose control."
<Jolen> "Vould you like more cuddles?" Arms out for the lad, Adam seemed to need alot of contact and he wasn't complaining if it helped him.
<@Adam> Adam looked at the boy warily, carefully, but he wasn't after anything else from him and seemed to genuinely want to help. "I..." He took a deep breath, then shook his head. He wanted to, but how the hell did he put what was in his head into words? He wanted to but was just too...he let out the breath in frustration. Fucking head.
<Jolen> "I could leave you alone if you'd like space? I'd rather not as your in a bad place but if you want me to I could go?" Head tilting as he looked at the lad, remembering the hole in his life, hoping this school could fill it.
<@Adam> "No." No, Adam did not want to be alone. "No...no, I do...I...make mistakes if I'm left alone." He tightened his arms for a moment before he gently tugged up one of the sleeves, showing the scars - hell, there wasn't a piece of clean skin on his arms any more, everything from years old to only days old. "I-it's a habit, can't stop it but if I'm left alone i-it's worse, a lot worse."
<Jolen> "Then I shall stay with you ya?" Smiling he looked at the arms, confused and yet he understood at the same time what the marks were. Shifting he sat down next to him leaning back against the tree. "You don't have to be alone today ok? Not vith me here."
<@Adam> Adam pulled down the sleeve again. It never shamed him - it was a part of him, and hell, no one commented on it these days - but he didn't want to see them. "Th-thank you." He said quietly. "Nice that someone tries. Not many bother these days. Can't blame them, I guess...I'm dangerous and unstable as hell...well, you saw, never the same for more than half an hour."
<Jolen> "It's vhat makes you you, same as I'm a freaky plant thing." Smiling alittle bitterly and shrugging. "I am trying, it is very hard to hurt me so I don't need to be afraid of anything except you hurting yourself." A hand came very gently out to rest on Adam's forearm once the sleeve had come back down. "I vill try."
<@Adam> Adam flinched, just a little, before he relaxed, chewing his lip. "People will tell you you're making a mistake." He said quietly. "Not that I blame them, I mean - to them I'm just a nutcase, God knows I never have any reasons why I do things, right?" His voice was bitter, suddenly. "I'm just the weirdo that doesn't know what he's doing, the fall-guy, hell I even isolate myself so-"
<@Adam> He took in a breath. "...Sorry. Suddenly angry."
<Jolen> Struggling to keep up his mental translations as he went he saw the flinch and removed his hand. "It is not making a mistake to help someone when they are in need. If they judge me for that vhat right do they have to be Xmen who force their help on everyone? I vill help you because I choose to. And if you need to be angry be angry if it helps."
<@Adam> "X-Men? Hah. I'm not an X-man, Jolen. I got kicked out just before summer. For 'helping'." Adam tried to take a deep breath - he shouldn't be angry, he knew the reasons, but he railed - he'd been the fall-guy again, same as Bobby. He'd been the one shouted at, that had stayed, tried to explain, and was still suffering for it. "I-I can't...I have a shrink, I don't have friends, not really. G-guess it's not their fault..."
<@Adam> He took another deep breath, an odd lump in his throat. "I'm not one of them, and sometimes it gets me. I'll do anything to protect them - this place - anything, you understand? Even if they don't agree with it, because it's my home and...and..." He hiccupped again. "And I'm not any part of it. Sometimes I wonder - would they care if I didn't come back? If that last mission had killed me?"
<Jolen> "Then they are idiots to refuse one kind of help and dimiss others, it is the help that works that matters yes?" Head going back against the tree he stared up at the leaves. "I vould care vithout you being so nice to me I'd be the lost looking plant thing in the corner, I'm sure others vould care to."
<Jolen> Turning he looked at Adam and smiled. "It is good that you have something you vould do anything to protect, it means you should not give up even on the bad days or vhen they refuse your help, I don't understand alot of things here or anyvhere really, but one must be determined to protect vhat must be protected.
<@Adam> Adam dropped his head, shaking it. "Honestly, without being emo, Jolen...I wonder, I really do. I...I don't have a family. My manifestation...I...killed my parents." He chewed his lip. "The foster system back home - the rehoming system - they kicked me out. Too weird, too much of a freak, couldn't deal with me. This place, these people are all I have."
<@Adam> He sniffed, taking solace that all he could smell was nature and Jolen, the wildlife keeping their distance. "I'm broken. In here." He tapped the side of his head. "I can't...deal...I don't understand people. I don't know why they won't see, can't get that what I did - what I will do again, if I have to - was to keep them safe, even though I'm a freak to them."
<Jolen> He knew what his manifestations had been like as they went but he'd never killed another human ever, injured afew in self defence though. "I don't think people will ever understand other people, you more then most because you have been through much more. I cannot compare to vhat you must have gone through to be here."
<Jolen> "But I know vhat it is to be alone, to be the freak, and to think vhen I die no one vill care or miss me. I am nobody, ve are both different and outcasts in our own vay I think." Curling up himself to put his head on his knees.
<@Adam> Adam looked at the German, head still on his knees, blue eyes very focused and bright. A moment of silence stretched, before the thin Irishman shuffled over, pressing against the other and putting his head on his shoulder. "I've done a lot of killing, over the years." He admitted quietly, something oddly freeing about telling a stranger this. "Most of it accidental. Most of it self-defence. You know why I'm a freak and a dangerous one?"
<@Adam> "I control people's blood, Jolen. I can bleed someone out in seconds, I can lift them up and drop them, make them explode, hell I can give people heart attacks, strokes, aneurysms...I'm a killer, it's what I'm designed to be." He took a deep breath, not taking his head off Jolen's shoulder. "And it's made sure I'm...well...I don't feel bad. I'm broken, and no matter how many chemicals they give me, I won't get fixed."
<Jolen> Not shying from the contact the lad needed he shared the sigh. "I think it is luck of the draw of what our powers can do, maybe you should stop thinking of your powers like a weapon and of a healing factor? You could stop heart attacks as easily as starting them right? You could choose not to take the killing option with your powers."
<Jolen> "I don't care vhat you've done, I can't judge anyone for my own ignorance on everything. If I wasn't a mutant I'd be dead, I vould have starved as a child in the black forest and no one vould have cared. My powers make me a freak but at least with them I have here now, like you do. Broken does not mean worthless."
<@Adam> "Are you kidding? Jolen, I...I have to be controlling someone's blood already. About the only good I can do is stop someone bleeding out. That's it. I have no upsides, except I can fly." He sighed, sniffing and wiping his eyes, hand coming away bloody. "I...know I'm not. Self-harming sociopath doesn't mean emo, I just...fuck, I'm lonely. Every time I do or say something off, I'm called out on it."
<@Adam> "And it's not like I can help it. I can't keep relationships...I try, hell, I even had a boyfriend here...JP. Then he dropped me because I was weird. Too weird for him, I guess he thought I was cute to start with or something and..." And he missed that closeness. Goddamnit, really, Adam?
<Jolen> Jolen really didn't know how to help here, he was alittle out of his depth and still struggling with both language and so much talking. "Vell you don't have to be lonely now right? Ve can spend together and stop each other being lonely, though I'm the last person to talk to about relationships und such ya?"
<Jolen> Trying and nervouse chuckle he gently leant his head on Adams. "You vill be ok, people just need to learn to understand to deal vith different unfortunately."
<@Adam> "Trying for three years, Jolen, this year's my last." Adam chuckled quietly. "God knows what I'll do when I graduate. See if I can live in the basement still. Maybe move in with Kandi. Hah." He sighed, curling into him, actually...really liking the contact. This was...he wasn't used to this, he tended to shy away from contact. But Jolen was a stranger.
<@Adam> Weird how that worked, he trusted telling a complete stranger and being held like this but not people he considered family. He huffed, wiping his eyes again. "Guess I just...wanna feel like I belong somewhere. To someone. Or something sappy as fuck like that. Tired of being 'the crazy' but...well...it's not something I can just switch off, I am crazy."
<Jolen> "Vell then maybe they really are to stupid to take teh time to understand ya?" Looking out through the trees back to the house he considered things for a moment. "If things go vell here I vould like to stay, or stay nearby at least.... if not I don't know vhat I'll do, go back to my forest maybe?"
<Jolen> "I think you belong here around people that are at least going to accept you as a mutant.... but vhy vould you want to be someone pet?"
<@Adam> Adam couldn't help the laugh at that, even sniffling as he was. "No, not a pet, Jolen, just...I don't know, I guess I'm lonely and want a boyfriend." He huffed. "Not likely to happen. My shrink says I'm self-destructive with relationships and I guess she's right." But he was here and able to talk and nuzzle someone...that was a start, right? Maybe he could try not to fuck this one up?
<@Adam> "Stay? I mean...even if you don't want to stay in the building, there's a forest here..." The big blue eyes got turned to Jolen then. "You're the first person I've talked to that hasn't thought I'm a complete ass and backed away slowly...please don't leave."
<Jolen> "Ah richt, maybe you need to find someone that isn't going to drop you on the first bad turn then ya?" Turning his head he blinked down to see the huge blinky blue eyes looking up at him, hand coming up to wipe the red droplets away. "This is true there is a forest here, no need to go back to germany for some trees right?"
<Jolen> "Beisdes vould they let me back in the country? I don't even exsist remember."
<@Adam> Jolen suddenly got hugged. Tightly. Adam didn't realise it, but he desperately did not want to be alone. "Stay." He muttered, almost childlike, into the man's shoulder.
<Jolen> Smiling alittle at the clinging he put his arms around Adam and hugged him back holding him there. "Then I shall stay, there is nothing for me anyvhere else anyvay. Everything is right here."