7/2 Instance: The Road Paved with Good Intent

[tears~fall~like~glass]

timeline: current


<@Mayday> "Don't do it, Mayday.", the anxious redhead told herself, standing in front of the medbay door. She knew it was a bad idea, but every instinct in her had to know. Know what, she wasn't sure. Mayday took a few deep breaths, adjusting her glasses to occupy her nerves.

<@Mayday> What if he tried to kill her straight away? She'd spoken to him all of three times, he could just be a psycho! With another deep breath, she opened the door and stepped into the medlab, gazing in on the occupier. "...erm...housekeeping...?"

<Adam> Adam was, in fact, sitting in the bed and playing with the tiny ball of fluffy death that was Bit, being careful of the rabbit's still-injured paw. He looked up, bright blue eyes fixing on the newcomer, smiling a little. "Ohai! Finally, someone who doesn't want to yell at me. Or...wait, do you want to yell at me? I mean, it's all good if you do wanna yell, but it won't change my mind and it'll make my head hurt more so..."

<Adam> He trailed off. "...Anyway. Hai. Um."

<@Mayday> It didn't scare Mayday, it just...hurt. To see Adam just...sitting there, as if it all never happened. "....um.", she picked at her denim skirt, wishing she was wearing a longsleeve shirt and not her 'Tobuscus' one.

<Adam> "Um." Adam tilted his head at her, frowning a little in confusion. "You're...not here to yell at me, are you." It wasn't much of a question. "Are you here to...to visit? I-I mean, visit me?" He pet Bit a little. "Because Clarice and the others are further in...I mean..." He fidgetted a little. "...I think there's cake..."

<@Mayday> "N-nah...I'm just...", Mayday still stood next to the door. "I jus-...yeah. Yeah, I'm here to visit. I guess. I...am.", she frowned and looked away, a tinge of guilt at not even being able to say what she thought.

<Adam> Adam watched her for a moment, then smiled a little. He was a bit relieved - it was lonely and boring down here, and well...he hadn't been treated badly but he didn't need his nose to know he wasn't exactly wanted around here right now. It...hurt a little, but he'd deal with it. "Well...come sit down then. Promise I'm not as insane as everyone says...I've had my meds."

<@Mayday> For a second, Mayday thought about saying 'I'd rather stand', but it would be a lie. She approached slowly and pulled out a seat, sitting down and looking at Adam. "...so...", she started and stopped all at once, taking a soft breath. "Are you alright?", she felt bad for feigning interest in pleasantries.

<Adam> "Well, I got some serious bruising on the brain, some hefty concussion and bad whiplash, but I'm bendy, I'll bounce." Adam shrugged, gently knocking Bit over and rubbing the bunny's belly, making him squeak and flail in joy. "If you mean mentally, yup, pretty much check out there too except for all the usual issues. They haven't quite got out the certification of insanity but it's only a matter of time, huh?" He smirked at her.

<@Mayday> "Heh, yeah...", Mayday smirked wryly, not really understanding the last bit. She shifted awkwardly in her chair. "I came by to ask something, actually..."

<Adam> "Oh? Fire away." Adam gave her a quick look. "But if it's anything about what happened to the cheese, I swear to God I know nothing. Noooothing."

<@Mayday> How could he be so oblivious? Mayday frowned at him, almost looking offended that he could be so passive. "Why did you do it? Everything? Do you not care about any of us?"

<@Mayday> "If anyone ever found out that X-Men did this, everything would be gone. We'd be shipped off to camps, we'd never, ever be accepted by society again.", she looked away, too hurt to even look back at him. "You destroyed everything I thought this place stood for and I just wanna know why..."

<Adam> Adam was quiet for a moment, watching the rabbit as he flopped. "Mnn..." He frowned, not for any other reason than trying to put his thoughts in order. "I'll start with your first question. Why I did it? Because I do care." He fingered the inside of his wrist, feeling the knotted scars and the hardened bone just under the skin. "Lemme explain, before you go off on one about how I 'obviously don't'."

<Adam> "All my life, from the moment I manifested, I've been hated. My...abilities killed my parents. People have...died all through the years until I got here. I was a murderer before I ever came to the USA." He scruffed his hair. "I hated this place when I arrived...then it...became my home. Now I love it. I love the people, I love the grounds, I love the lessons it's taught me...I love its ideals too. You know. Peace, love, all that."

<Adam> He sighed, looking up at the ceiling. "But...I can't...live by those ideals. I'm very...headfucked. I can't..." He frowned again. "I can't deal with peace. I...killed to protect people like you, people who can because even with all my religion I'm not capable of not fighting." He looked at her. "Maybe you understand, maybe you don't, but I wanted to do the work you guys can't so you could be safe, May."

<Adam> "...And no one should have known we'd done it."

<@Mayday> "That's it?", Mayday asked, sounding completely disgusted, "That is your justification? 'I can't live by the ideals that kept me safe, happy and free'? 'We killed for you'? So, what, it;s our fault by proxy? If we were stronger, you'd not have?"

<@Mayday> "And don't even start me on the hypocricy there: 'I'm religious, but'? What does that even mean, anyway?", she went on, shaking her head. "The worst part of all is that I completely understand, Adam. I do. But it's STILL wrong, Adam!"

<Adam> "No, no you don't." Adam shook his head a little, smiling slightly. "If you understood, you wouldn't be here and angry. You know the target, Essex? This is the second time he's taken people and experimented on them from this school. Is that fair? He's destroyed lives, and every time he's been let go. You remember Legacy in the news? That was him. So you tell me, what's the bigger sin, May?"

<Adam> Adam tilted his head. "I am religious. Catholic. I go to Mass three times a week, I help out around the church. I even go to confession. If it's wrong, then only God can judge that, not you." He turned to look at her. "I'm a sociopath. I don't...feel the same way other people do. I know my reasons, I know why I did it, and I'm comfortable in my reasons. Why do I need to justify them to you when I know you're safe?"

<@Mayday> Mayday absorbed the answer. Maybe that was the point. "You were given power. And like Lucifer, you think you know best because of that? The only thing that makes you different to the bad guys is that your angle is slightly more in our favour, but don't kid yourself: you did this because you hate him, not because you care for people.", she stated, more resolute than she felt she'd ever been.

<@Mayday> "We could have thrown Essex into prison. We could have...I don't know, wiped his mind or something. But you took his life. You took the lives of everyone you saw in there - how do you know what their reasons were? And from what I hear, it isn't even the first time you've done it."

<Adam> "I dunno, never met the man enough to hate him. Besides, he was alive the last time I saw him." Adam was still calm. Part of him marvelled at that - the last time someone got like this with him, he lost it. Sliding out a boneblade, he played with the hole in it, remembering the time he'd been pinned to the wall by it and tortured. "Who are you, Mayday...who are you to tell me how I feel? Who I hate?"

<Adam> "Who made you God that you could make these decisions for me?" His voice stayed level, eyes still on the blade. "How is wiping his mind any better? How about you wipe my mind? Though...that's been done once already." He mused for a moment. "Yes. I killed people. No, it's not the first. Probably won't be the last. This is how God made me, this is how I am and I use what I have to help how I can."

<Adam> The blade slid away with a snap. "Yes. I was a member of the Brotherhood, I don't hide it. I killed the politition, and I know it's the worst thing I could have done. I cried for weeks over it. I was terrified. But right now...I'm calm, I'm at peace, and I think that tells me more than your rants that no matter what my methods, my reasons are between me and my God."

<@Mayday> Mayday felt herself tremble a little as the blade snapped back. "...you really don't get it, do you? You claim I don't, but I really, really do. I know what makes you feel justified to do what you've done, but I also have a clearer view of right and wrong."

<@Mayday> "Who am I?", she pushed down her tears and doubts about her importance, "I'm Mayday Parker, the fucking Spider-Girl, and I looked up to you. ALL of you.", Mayday stood up.

<@Mayday> "I'm no Hero. I'm no X-...girl. But I'll tell you what else I'm not, and never will be: a killer. A person who thinks she can decide who lives and who dies. And also? I'm an idiot. An idiot who thought you could at least understand."

<Adam> "I do understand - well, no, I don't entirely, but I know where you're coming from." Adam couldn't help the bitter chuckle. "Mayday Parker, I am not who you want to look up to. I really am not, and I never was. I was never really an X-Man, I just like the ideals they can live by and I-" He stopped for a moment, head going down a little. "...I wish...I wish I could be like that, not be a messed up little psychopath...just..."

<Adam> He shook his head again, wincing as it jarred his head. "Lorna's the rolemodel you want. Darren. Clarice, JP, all of the real X-Men. I can't answer for the others who were part of this, but I..." He sighed. "Don't, just...hold on to that ideal, Mayday, it's why I signed up to this. I'm already a killer, don't need others to do it too." His face went unfocused, dead. "God is my judge, and it's only to Him I'll answer, not you."

<@Mayday> Mayday turned to leave, stopping at the door and taking another sharp breath. "...I...", she stopped. She couldn't say it, she just couldn't. Without another word, she left the room.

<Adam> Adam watched him go, expression still blank, before he looked at Bit, the rabbit putting his good paw on Adam's hand. "A hand cannot complain to the gun when the bullet kills a man. Hah, I wish I could remember where that quote comes from..." He murmured. "Lucifer, huh? I've been called worse..." He scritched the bunny. "I know, I know, but it still hurts, Bitbun."

[Slarti]

That was deep, man.

*takes a toke and passes it on*

[Ferguson]

The colours! The colours of the words, dude.

If you paint with them you'll be Pocahontas!

*passes the toke on*

[Scumfish]

Nah, man, Pocahontas was some seriously hippy shit. You want...you want a Picasso or something. Something deep as...as...I dunno.

The feels, man.

*passes it on*

[Starfish]

Hehehe, you said ass.

Po-ca-hont-ass.

Get it? Hehehehe...

*passes it on*

[puppygirl]

*Mutters incoherently in the corner*

*passes it on*